Hello all, my apologies for being away for so long, it was a rough semester at university. But, I have not given up on you all just as I hope you have not given up on me. This is a fairly short chapter, but I wanted to get it out into the world before I continue on. Also, I'm thinking of doing a slight time jump of around 4 to 5 years in the next few chapters. Thoughts? Leave a review for me and, as always, enjoy loves x

-Chapter 13-

Santana's POV

I open my eyes and it's still dark and I don't know if I've slept until the next night or if my body just hates me and is content with no sleep. I check my phone and it says 4:45 am. It's not even 5 am and my body is awake for the day. Great.

I look over and Quinn's still asleep. She's completely passed out and I am so envious of her. I get up and throw on some sweat pants and one of Quinn's Yale hoodies and wander out into the living room. Everything is dark so I turn on a little lamp in the corner. In the light I notice the fire escape outside the window that I hadn't before.

I go out onto it and climb two floors to the roof and sit down on the side the sunrise will be visible. Being this high up above the city when it's this peaceful almost forces you to think. That's the thing I've been avoiding doing, to be honest.

In just a few short weeks I'll be done with classes and thrust out into the world. Over the three and a half years I've been chasing this dream, the thought that I could have done all of this for naught worries me more and more. Production is a hard field to break into and I'm worried I won't find a job.

And then there's Quinn.

Quinn. We've only been together for a little over a month but I've begun to fall for her harder than I thought possible, especially this early. I never let myself get close to anyone. But she isn't just anyone, she's my best friend.

What happens if she wakes up one day and realizes this isn't really her and she ends things? What if she never wants to come out to her family or even her friends? I know I told her I wouldn't pressure her, and I won't, but I also am not keen on being someone's dirty little secret. I don't want to hide again after it's taken so long for me to get to a place where I actually like this part of me.

I'm looking for the answers to all of my questions in the brightening sky, hoping the upcoming sunrise will bring new answers with the new day.

I sigh as I look down at my hands in my lap, I hope to find the answers there too. But no such luck.

"For how open it is up here, the air seems kind of thick with whatever you're thinking about" Quinn says, breaking the silence and causing me to look at her.

I don't know how long she's been standing there as wrapped up in her blanket just as I was in my own thoughts. Even in the faint light she's the most beautiful site my eyes have ever seen. Her hair is slightly mussed, her face is completely devoid of makeup and still tired from the lack of sleep, yet she still takes my breath away.

She wraps the blanket tighter around herself, uncertain of whether to join me. I open my arms as a signal for her to, "watch the sunrise with me?"

She walks over and settles next to me, wrapping the blanket around me as well in the process.

"I woke up and you weren't there" she says as she leans her head on my shoulder.

"Sorry, I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep so I left in order not to wake you. Clearly it didn't work."

"We've gotta stop doing that, you know. Leaving for the benefit of the other. It never works" she says.

I let out a small laugh, only realizing how forced it was after the silence settled around us.

The sun starts to poke above the horizon, beginning this day with as much uncertainty as the previous one had ended.

I'm looking at the horizon, but I can feel Quinn's eyes on me. I know they are searching my face for something and I'm scared of what they will find. I finally look over at her and we just stare at each other for what seems like forever.

"I'm scared" she whispers.

"I know. I am too."

She looks away from me, out over the city. "Yeah, but you're scared of the height while I'm scared of what awaits me if I were to fall."

I know she's talking about more than the height of the building we sit on, but she's wrong. I've never been so scared of what would happen if I were to fall; whether she'd catch me or not.

We went back to bed after the sun rose, the cool morning air making us both want to be buried beneath a mound of blankets. We got under the blankets on Quinn's bed and she scooted closer, facing me so our heads were almost on the same pillow. The sun was coming through the shades just enough now and hitting her eyes, showcasing the hazel in them that I love so much. We laid there in silence for what seemed like forever, the air thick with the words we could not speak.

My heart was soaring and aching at the same time for the girl laying next to me. Soaring because this beautiful human is mine and aching because of the fear I felt over the uncertainty of our relationship. If this doesn't work out, I'll be losing yet another friend because I allowed my feelings to get in the way of things.

I can see the fear creeping into her eyes and onto her face. Instead of talking to her, like I know I should, I lean forward and place a gentle kiss on her lips. This kiss warms me completely, body and soul, and I know that, for now at least, we'll be okay.

When I pull away, Quinn slides closer to me and places her head in the crook of my neck. She lays there as I just hold her, needing her close as much as she needs me close. After a while I hear her breath even out and I know she's fallen asleep, still needing to recover from our late night. I close my eyes and will myself to succumb to sleep that I know I so desperately need.

Sunday rolls around after spending Saturday just laying around Quinn's apartment, another weekend gone too fast. I'm finishing packing, putting one of Quinn's Yale sweatshirts in my suitcase.

"Hey, you know I'm going to need that back right?" Quinn says as she leans on her doorframe with a smile.

"All part of my master plan, blondie," I say as I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her hips, "take something you'll need so you come to see me to get it back."

"Like I need a reason to come see you" she says with an eyeroll.

I give her a peck on the lips and go back to packing my things. She's still lingering in the doorway and I can feel that she has something bothering her.

"We're okay, aren't we, San?" she asks in her small voice.

"Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't we be?" I ask, frowning.

"I don't know, I just feel like there is something weird between us since yesterday morning on the roof."

I stop packing and look at her, "I promise you that I'm still crazy, head over heels for you, Q. Yesterday morning I was just be being all brooding and weird because of things that twat waffle said the other night. It's absolutely nothing you should be worried about."

"What did he have you worried about? That I'd cheat on you with him?" she asks.

"No, that isn't what I meant at all! Baby, honestly, it isn't anything to fret about. He's a tool and it just makes me realize what you have to deal with from guys on a daily basis."

She seems to accept this as she finally makes her way into her room over to me, enfolding me in her arms.

"Good because I didn't want it to be like this before you left with it being so long until I'll be seeing you again." She says with a slight pout.

"I know, I'm not looking forward to not seeing you for another 3 weeks," I say.

We both can't find the time or the extra money to see each other in two weeks so we have to wait another 3, possibly 4, weeks.

I finish packing just in time as I get notified that my cab is here. Quinn hears it too and her face falls ever so slightly.

I gather up my things and walk over to the door and turn around to face Quinn. As soon as I turn, she brings me into a bone crushing hug.

"Why are you acting like you're never going to see me again?" I say to her.

"Because it feels like I'm not going to see you forever. I'm going to miss you so much" She replies.

"I know, it's going to be a while but we can do this. 3 weeks will be gone before you know it."

"Okay" She says.

"Okay. So I'll see you soon then?" I say as I gather my stuff.

"I'll see you soon then" she says and kisses me.

I get down to the cab and put my suitcase in the trunk and get in. I tell the driver to take me to the airport and we pull away into traffic. The further we get from Quinn's, the more it feels like I'm leaving my home. That's what she has become now, the home of my heart.