Thank you all! I'm sorry about leaving on that spot last chapter. It's just the best way to end these fics. Sorry, though!
This is probably the third to last chapter, or second to last. Enjoy while it lasts! I really love you all! Sorry, but there's really no mention of Ita-chan here. There's going to be a lot of him in the next chapter anyway. Read away…read away…
Chapter Thirteen: Uzumaki Naruto
I've never really lost anyone really important to me other than family. My friends were always there for me, at my side when I need them, and sometimes there when I don't want them to be. Especially Naruto. He's my best friend, of course.
But I've always taken my friends for granted. I'll admit that. You really never know if they'll disappear or not.
One more week until graduation. I'm counting down the days. Because I'm so excited that I can't stand it.
By far, things haven't changed that much. Except for my relationship with the Smart-ass (I mean Itachi. Takes some getting used to). We've been doing a lot better. Ever since I've confessed, he seemed really happy. Ever since we both cleared out who we were, we've been getting a lot better. Even better than we used to be. He's told me a lot of things that he never told me before. He always avoided the topic of Shisui, though. I think that he and Shisui were 'together' for a while. I think.
Besides my brother, I'm trying to make Naruto feel better. It's not working out so well. He's coming back to school, but he's not talking much. Naruto keeps stealing glances at me. I don't know what to say to him anymore. I figured that I should tell him the truth, but that doesn't change the fact that he'll probably be heart broken. I just wish that he would get over me. I'm not worth waiting for. Seriously.
Speaking of Naruto, Tsunade's getting real worried for no reason. Still scavenging around for the reason, too.
I'm still living with the pretense that I hate the Smart-ass right now. Ino's still 'kyaaing' about my supposed relationship with him. I'm not giving her any self-satisfaction. My mouth is shut.
I've told Shizune that everything's been going on fine. She seemed relieved. I've also told Kakashi that everything's okay, too. He just nodded knowingly. I hate it when he acts like a know-it-all.
As you can see, everything's okay with me, except for my depressed best friend. I gave myself a goal: to have everything fixed by graduation.
School time again. I planned at home to try and catch Naruto. And to at least talk to him for a bit. Try to make him feel comfortable around me again. I have no idea what the blonde will do, seeing that he's unpredictable, but I'll manage.
I stopped at the bakery, bought a muffin, and ran out. Naruto usually passes by here since his house is just a few houses down from the bakery. I smiled when I saw blonde, spiky hair walk out of his bright orange (his parents have no taste) house.
"Naruto," I said when he walked close. Naruto looked up in surprise. He had that are-you-seriously-talking-to-me look "Hey." I chose to act normal. Maybe he won't notice how desperate I am to have him back as a friend. Maybe he's supposed to notice how desperate I am to have him back as a friend, because then he'll know that I want him back as a friend. Oh, shit. I have bad acting skills, anyway. He'll find out even if I don't want him to.
"Hey," Naruto just nodded slowly. I waited for him as he walked into the bakery, bought a doughnut, and walked out.
"No ramen for breakfast?" I asked, smirking. Was that normal? I think it was.
Naruto took a bite out of his doughnut. I read that movement immediately. He's trying to avoid talking to me so he's using the I-can't-talk-with-my-mouth-full trick. Just swallow. You're chewing slowly, idiot. After what seemed like an eternity to me, he answered. "Nope. We ran out. My mom is planning to buy more before I get home."
"So ramen right when you get home?"
"Duh." He was getting a little un-stressed. Good.
We talked a bit. Once we reached the high school we parted ways, but I think that he gets my point. Dude, quit being so distant and talk to me! Yeah, that was my point.
Now for my mind to wander off while we start our school day.
I'm in this school where there is absolutely no cell phones allowed, or else your cell phone will be crushed by Tsunade's or Gai's foot. The only class where cell phones are allowed are in the tranquil (not so tranquil nowadays) class of Kakashi-sensei. And despite the fact that if your cell phone rings in class or if a teacher sees it, students still bring them to school. Why? Because they want to show off their cool phones. Another reason? Because their parents force them to just in case of emergencies. Another reason? So that a teacher can break/confiscate them and their parents will buy that a better phone. Another reason? So that they can secretly text message during class. I think that's it. If you find anymore reasons, please contact Uchiha Sasuke immediately.
Joking.
Lunch Topic: Naruto. Plain old Naruto.
They would never put this topic up if Naruto's around. He disappeared during lunch. Probably to Tsunade's office or something. I'll just hope that Naruto doesn't find out that we're talking about him. I'll just hope that Naruto will come up eventually and end this conversation.
Even Ino and her probes have calmed down a bit. This was a pretty serious topic, after all. We were all just wondering why he was so depressed. Even I recovered from my serious don't-talk-to-me-attitude. I kept seeing some of the boys steal me a glance. The girls were clueless. The guys knew that I was the reason for his depression. That's depressing.
"Oi, Uchiha," Kiba walked over and sat down next to me. I hate it when people just plain old use my last name. I gave Kiba a sharp glare, hoping that that would make him go away. "You know that you're the only one that can help Naruto."
"Hn," I muttered. I've known that for a long time now. Go away.
"Give us some help," Lee said, who just happened to be sitting on my other side. Great. Weirdoes have invaded my bubble.
"I don't know what to do. He's been avoiding me," I answered truthfully. "He keeps going to Tsunade's office for some reason."
"Yeah, I've noticed that, too," Kiba said, deep in thought. I decided to throw away my garbage and slink away.
To my roof again. Hopefully no one will intrude me there.
Unfortunately, an intruder came up again. The same one that trespassed my roof last time. Uzumaki Naruto, his hopeful blue eyes staring at me. "Naruto," I said. Surprised, of course. "What're you doing here?"
"Hoping to meet you," Naruto said, taking a step forward. I took a small step back. If Naruto saw that defensive move, he'll just get depressed again. Luckily, Naruto isn't too observant.
"Why me?" I asked, bringing my gaze to the ground. I really feel awkward talking to him alone. I used to feel okay alone with him, but now…eh…
"…Just because." Naruto shrugged.
The bell rang. Saved by the bell. Thank god!
Like I said about the cell phones. I actually have mine in my pocket right now. Bad move. I'm serious. I figured that since it was last period, I have a slim chance of getting caught using it. I thought I turned it off. Thought. Okay…
Kakashi's class. How irritating. The white-haired twenty-year-old stood in front of our class and said something that didn't seem to make any sense to me.
Naruto was thankfully still in school right now, at his usual seat next to me. I just stared out of the window. More than half of the class passed, and I didn't pay attention to anything but the 'Welcome'. Kakashi mentioned something about meeting our friends from the Rain College pretty soon, but we all knew that already.
Then, it rang.
Everyone immediately turned around in their chairs and gave me a stare. Awkward. Sasuke, the kid that never gets in trouble! He's gonna get in trouble! Oh, my god! I want his cell phone number! That fuckin' serves him right! Sasuke's such a teacher's pet, Kakashi wouldn't even put him in detention. Holy shit, he actually has a cell phone? Yep. Everyone's thoughts were channeled through me.
"Sasuke, please step outside," Kakashi said. Am I in trouble? I'm going to miss this call by then. I know that it's Itachi. I can tell. I sheepishly stepped out, and asked if I was in trouble. Kakashi just told me to answer the call first.
"Aniki," I muttered once Kakashi stepped back into the classroom. "You aren't supposed to call me during school hours!"
"I planned on leaving a message," Itachi said rather casually. Dude, I'm in trouble thanks to you! "You really aren't supposed to leave your phone on during school."
"Well I'm sorry that I forget a lot of things!" I said running a hand through my (blackish, because I'm wearing a blue shirt today) hair. "What did you want to say to me?" I added in.
"Um…Nothing. I just called you because I was bored out of hell," he said. "I've finished all the work that I'm supposed to do today, anyway. I don't have Deidara to talk to, because he and his art group went to this art museum. The rest of the group is doing something to. I'm human, I've got boredom."
"Right," I said leaning against the wall. I didn't have my part-time job today. So I was free to talk to him until the principal and the night cleaning guy kicks me out. I saw spiky, blonde hair at the corner of my eye for a split second. It was Naruto. He was probably just leaving the class. Nothing to worry about… "Is that all you wanted to say?"
"That's basically it…Hmm…"
"What 'Hmm'?" I groaned.
"Nothing much. Don't you have to go now? Your hallways are noisy," Itachi just said randomly. He just doesn't want to hang up, does he?
"Okay, I'm just hanging up now," I said with a small smile. Then I added in as quietly as possible, "Love you." I shut the phone before he could reply. I turned and saw the Uzumaki staring at me.
"...W-what?" I said, praying that he didn't hear me say those last two words to Itachi.
"Who was that?" Naruto said, giving me a blank expression. His eyes were fixed on the phone in my hand.
"Just my 'pen pal'. Why?" I said, trying to sound relaxed despite the fact that I always stress up when I'm talking to him alone. I've got to watch where I step. And I think that I just stepped on a landmine.
"…Your pen pal," Naruto nodded very, very slowly. This really isn't like him. But if he keeps this up, it will be like him.
"I've got to talk to Kakashi-sensei," I said rapidly. I'm so lucky for once. I had an excuse to get out and relax, think about what to say to him, predict the unpredictable blonde, and get back out. Then again, the sensei is also unpredictable, because when I opened the door I found the room empty. "Eh…Kakashi-sensei?"
"I guess he left you off the hook." Naruto shrugged.
"Um, well, then what do you want to talk about?" I said. As I mentioned before, I'm not a great actor. If you're the drama teacher and you force us to do a play, I'll just be one of the stage hands or special effects people or something like that.
"Do you have time?" Naruto asked.
"Yeah."
We both got outside. By this time, most of the high school kids went out and scrammed, so the school grounds were quiet. I just stood there behind Naruto, wondering what the hell he wants to say to me.
"Sasuke, will you answer this honestly?" Naruto said, his voice a little strained. I remembered that those were the same words I said to the Smart-ass before I confessed my feelings to him. Guess we both have something in common, because Naruto sounded like he was going through the same thing I was going through at that time.
"Yeah, sure." There was no point in lying. With lying comes with acting. I'm pretty good at making up lies. Not doing them.
"Your friend," Naruto said slowly. "How do you feel about him?"
I knew he was going to say that. Then again, I already promised myself that I wouldn't lie, and I already told him that I wouldn't lie. But if I did lie, everything would be okay, wouldn't it? But then again, I'd have to live that lie 24/7. At least around Naruto. And since he's my best friend, I like to hang around him a lot. So…that's nearly 24/7.
"I…"
"You don't want to answer, do you?"
"Why do you say that?" I replied quickly.
"I already know the answer."
"Then…then let's hear it." As you can see, I'm a nervous wreck right now. I look the same as usual on the outside. Anyone passing or listening in would think that I'm handling the situation perfectly. I'm not so good at acting, but I'm good at hiding some of my emotions. Is that the same thing? Damn. I rant at the wrong times.
"You said that you love him," Naruto forced the words out of his mouth. He had mixed feelings, apparently. His voice sounded angry and frustrated, yet at the same time miserable and desperate.
"I…" No point in lying. I already told myself that. "I do."
"Then…"
"Naruto, I thought I made it clear to you that night," I said, hoping that this would clear things up more for him. "I only think of you as a friend. No, that's wrong. I only think of you as my best friend. Isn't that enough?"
"…No."
"Naruto!"
"…You really don't like me, do you?"
"I like you as my best friend," I said. "Can you please accept it?"
Naruto didn't say anything. He just walked off. A lot of people like to leave me in my dejected state. My heart was pounding. I don't really know why.
My only means of trying to ignore stuff like this working my butt off on stuff that doesn't need to be worked on. Like my apartment. It's clean. In my mind, all of a sudden, it isn't clean enough.
After I cleaned it, I picked up and talked to Itachi for about an hour, until he was forced to hang up on me because Pein (this weird guy that seems to be the leader of their weird gang) told him to get off of the phone.
Right when I put the phone down, the phone rang again. I groaned, not even checking the caller ID. I knew it was Itachi, changing his mind and calling me again. But I was too naïve, because it wasn't Itachi.
"Sasuke." Naruto's voice rang in my ear. There was heavy wind in the background. It was windy outside. Why would Uzumaki call me from outside?
"Naruto?" I said.
"Can you please meet me out at the park? Near that small pond where we used to go? Right now?"
"Um…Huh? Why?"
"Can you?"
"I guess so."
"Come on, then." Naruto simply hung up. Why couldn't he just tell me to meet him during school? I decided that there was no way that I could ignore that, so I just pulled on a blue sweatshirt, pulled the hood up, and walked outside.
The wind calmed down a bit. I stuck my hands in my pockets and walked around aimlessly, wondering where the hell Naruto was. I had a pang of deja-vuu. I just stood there for a second, my head spinning. I tried to remember where I first saw this situation.
I saw spiky blonde hair at the corner of my eye again. His hair always catches my attention. I turned towards Naruto's direction and I saw him running away from me. Still feeling dizzy, I ran after him.
He stopped near the pond that we were talking about. We used to hang around that place all the time, ever since we met, even while we were rivals. It was always peaceful, there, especially at nighttime. If the moon was full, we'd see it reflect beautifully on the water. It's not like me to say that, but it's been a hobby ever since my parents died to look up at the moon. I think I got that habit from Itachi, because I always stared up at the moon with him. It's been a long time since I've seen this again, and maybe that's why my head is babbling like an idiot.
Naruto broke me out. "I'm sorry, Sasuke," he said, his usually cheery voice said, this time very solemnly and depressing. The blonde reached into his pocket and took out a familiar object. I was still dizzy. I took a few steps forward, squinting to find out what he had in his hand right now. My mouth became dry. "I'm so sorry."
I swallowed hard. Words came up, and I felt like I've said them before. It's like too many things happened at once, except there wasn't a lot of things happening at once. "What are you sorry for?"
Naruto tilted his head to the right, or at least my right. I spotted a tear run down his marked cheeks. He was crying again. It was so easy to make him cry, but I feel jealous of that ability. I don't know why.
"I can't accept it. I can't."
"Accept what, Naruto?"
My heart spun along with my head. He had a pocket knife in his hand, and it looked deadly sharp. The image of Naruto standing right in front of a pond with a full moon shining brilliantly etched itself in my mind.
He was going to kill himself. Naruto wouldn't even try to kill me, but I never imagined that strong Naruto would kill himself. I shook. I didn't want anyone else to die. It was just me and my bad luck, but the bad luck clung onto Naruto ever since I told Itachi that I loved him.
Naruto seemed obsolete. He was obsolete. He never changes his mind in the middle of something. Never.
It happened too fast. He raised it right to his temple. I ran forward to stop him, but by that time I was too late. I crashed into him, knocking us both down into the freezing depths of the pond. Blood leaked from Naruto's right temple, some still oozing out and floating up to the surface. I stared at Naruto's blurred face, still underwater, without the heart of resurfacing.
I heard some quiet talking. There were two familiar voices, and one unfamiliar one. My eyes were still begging to close again.
What the hell just happened?
I forced myself up. I need to know what just happened. Kakashi and Sakura were standing near me, and a nurse as talking to them .They looked surprised that I was up. "Sasuke-kun, get some rest," the nurse urged.
"W-What happened?" I demanded, getting pushed down gently by Kakashi.
The sensei and the pink haired girl exchanged glances, and then Kakashi muttered, "Naruto committed suicide." The nurse yelled at Kakashi, saying that I'm in shock and that he shouldn't force such things into my mind, but then I remembered what happened last night. I had a dream about it. Why couldn't I stop it, then?
Because I'm an idiot.
My eyes closed, and I heard Kakashi say too casually for my tastes, "Oh, look, he fainted again."
I came to later on in the day. There were no visitors, but it was early in the morning and it was raining very heavily.
The images of Naruto that was etched into my mind came back to me, and I just forced the pillow onto my face and let out a helpless scream. I don't want to remember that idiot. Not now.
The nurse came in, hearing my muffled scream. She asked what was wrong.
"How the hell did I get from there to here?" I muttered. Couldn't they have saved Naruto if they saved me?
"Your friend, Sakura-chan, found both of you floating in that pond," the nurse said worriedly. She obviously liked hiding the important things from her patients, like why they're in the hospital and how they got in the hospital. Obviously someone told her to tell me everything that she knew about that night. "You just fainted."
Well of course I'd faint. My biggest fear is the loss of someone dying. My biggest fear is seeing one of the people closest to me die. My biggest fear is knowing that someone close to me died and that I could've prevented it.
"And…what about Naruto?" I really didn't want to ask. I just really wanted to know.
"His parents already arranged a wake and a funeral," the nurse replied.
"When can I get out?"
"…You have no parents? No family?"
I hate answering that question. "No. I can pay for the hospital bill. Can I get out now? I'm completely fine."
"…"
The first thing that I did after I got out was get a change of clothes. Then I went to Naruto's house. I needed to talk to his parents right away, and to explain to them why he did what he did. They deserve to know, after all.
I rang the door bell to that bright orange house, hoping to god that they wouldn't yell at me for not stopping him from doing…that. To my utter and complete surprise, the principal Tsunade answered the door. I heard loud sobbing. And some 'There, there's.'
"Um, Tsunade-sensei," I said slowly. She was seriously one of the last people I wanted to talk to right now. "May I please speak to Naruto's parents?" I'm trying to act like the perfect little visiting person.
Tsunade glanced over her shoulder, and I saw Minato give me a weak smile. Kushina was crying uncontrollably on his shoulder. It was obvious why. That woman barely cried, though. Only a big shocker like this would break her down.
I walked in slowly, taking off my shoes. "Um…Minato-san Kushina-san," I said, still trying to choose my words carefully. "I have to tell you something about…Naruto." I tried to act a little less stressed. But I was still shocked, too.
"Alright," Minato nodded. He calmed his wife down after a while, and then turned back to me. "Do you mind if Tsunade-san listens in, too? She's very close to Naruto." I just gave her a small glance and nodded.
"Well, do you know why Naruto…um…"
"We get your point," Minato said helpfully, giving Kushina another apprehensive look. "Not really. Tsunade said something about Naruto being depressed this year, but he refused to tell her what was going on."
"I know what's going on. I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before but…" I paused. "You know that project that we're doing? The one that involves us sending and receiving letters from college students at the Rain College? It really all started with that." Of course Tsunade nodded knowingly. I just continued. "When I told Naruto that things were working out pretty well between me and the person I was writing to, Naruto got a little quieter. He didn't go to school for a while, and everyone said that he…" This is awkward. I'm telling a deceased boy's parents that he died because he loved me and I couldn't return his feelings. Why couldn't I just say that? Oh well. I already got into a full description. "Everyone said that he liked me. A lot." The adults stared at me for a while, but I think that they get my point. "It continued on. After a while I just told Naruto that I only think of him as my best friend, nothing more. He seemed okay with that, until the Summer Dance, when I went with him. Naruto started to think that he had a chance with me. He became depressed again after a while. Just the morning when he… you know… I told him again that I only thought of him as a friend."
"…I understand," Kushina was the first to speak. At least she didn't scream for me to get out or something. "I'm sorry."
"No, I'm sorry," I quickly replied. "I'm sorry for barging in, too."
"Naruto's wake is actually tonight. The funeral's at Saturday. Can you make it?" Minato asked.
"Yes."
I left with Tsunade. I actually brought up the guts to ask her something. "Um…Naruto kept going to your office during school. You don't have to answer me, but can you tell me why?" I'm seriously acting like an idiot right now.
"You could say that I was sort of like his doctor, therapist, or something. I kept trying to make him open up to me, but he refused to, despite how many times he came to my office by his on free will."
Wow. She actually answered. I've got answers, though. But these answers don't mean anything. Because the subject is gone. Naruto has left the building. And he's probably in a better place right now.
At Naruto's funeral, basically everyone Naruto knew was filling up the pews. And that was a lot of people. I sat near Kakashi and the rest of the gang, pulling my black jacket around me. The church was so cold. The sun was shining so perfectly outside, though. It was sort of fitting. Naruto was always that bright person.
My heart and head were still spinning, even though they were slowing down. If you want a stinking simile, they were as if both Gai and Lee put their efforts into spinning the Wheel of Fortune, and both of their brawn made it spin for days on end. I was hoping that it would eventually land on 'Move Time Back' or 'Peace of Mind' or something like that.
I didn't pay attention to the mass at all. My own memories of the Uzumaki kid that made my life so much better-off just came up in a slight blur. It was clear enough for me to understand.
"Um, Sasuke?" The blonde stood at the doorway leading back down into the school. He stood facing me.
"Huh? Naruto? What're you doing up here?" I turned around, a little mad that my little haven was intruded by someone. I wanted to yell, 'Go away', but right now; I don't have the heart to.
"I was just wondering if you'll go to the dance with me," Naruto said, his bright eyes shining with hopefulness.
"…I told you, I don't think of you like that," I tried to sound gentle and firm at the same time. Tried to.
"I don't mean anything like that! I just…Um…"
I walked up to him. "Naruto…Fine. I'll go with you."
I miss that blonde's happy face. Basically the last time we ever saw his happy face was at the vacation we had over the summer. The priest was in the middle of the homily I already dubbed 'Long and Boring'.
Loud music was playing in the distance, and it was sunset. Yeah. It's at the dance. Everyone was dancing to songs but I somehow got myself into a situation in which my best friend and I are alone, walking on a beach, during sunset. How awkward. Naruto must be happy.
"We shouldn't go too far," I muttered after an unbearably long silence.
"Doesn't matter," Naruto replied, smiling. He's happy, alright. "I know this beach well, so you don't have to worry."
"I'm not worried about both of us; I'm worried about those crazy chaperones that'll kill themselves, or rather, us, if we go too far," I said sternly. Being alone with him in a place like this is not a thing that I want.
"Sasuke, can…Will you go out with me? Just one more try, please?" Those words smacked me in the face.
"…No, Naruto," I replied. The hesitation was placed there because I didn't want to hurt his feelings again. "I only think of you as a friend. You said it was okay, remember?" Oh, please let him remember.
"Yeah, I know. I just said that so that you wouldn't feel disappointed…"
I'm disappointed in you right now, Uzumaki. That's what I thought. I didn't say anything. I couldn't help but see that Uzumaki's blue eyes lowered down. He was going into the depressed state, and again, it's my fault. "Naruto," I said simply, grabbing his attention. Naruto looked up and I kissed him. I knew that he was surprised yet soaring inside. My mind was screaming of shock, but my body was rebellious again. Naruto reacted quickly, but I pulled away quickly, too. I didn't want it to get too far.
"Just friends."
"Then what was that for?" Naruto demanded.
"…To make you feel better." The utter truth. "Come on, we're already too far." I turned and walked back towards the dance, hoping that that was the right move.
"Sasuke, it's rude to fall asleep," Kakashi's voice said.
"Huh? No, I'm not sleeping," I muttered, rubbing my eye slowly. Kakashi smiled at me under his mask.
"It's hard for you, huh?"
"Yeah."
"Sasuke, I don't really know what went on between you and Naruto, but the only thing we can do right now is to remember him," Kakashi said. "What's done is done. And it's not your fault." I had a strong feeling that he knew what went on. I pushed that aside.
It was at Konoha Cemetery. Why the hell is everything in Konoha named Konoha 'blank'? These guys have no imagination.
I just watched glumly as they lowered Naruto's body down into the cold ground. I pulled the jacket closer around me. The sun was shining, but it was as windy as the night it happened.
Everyone left after a long while. I stood there with Kakashi, Minato, and sobbing Kushina and Sakura. They were going to put a gravestone there soon.
The only thing I can do is remember him.
…Um…All I can say to you is…Review? Please? Glad you enjoyed. Next chapter might be the last. I'll decide that later. Might, so keep your hopes up that I'll have some excellent ranting for Sasuke tomorrow.
The avenger and you groan. Oh well. Hope you enjoyed!!!