A/N: Hi! I must say, for the few days after I posted the last chapter, I only got around 4 reviews and I was sad. I thought you guys liked my story :( but then I realized you weren't reviewing due to that stupid technical glitch FF was having and then I felt better. After it was gone I started getting reviews for this story again :)

I'm glad most of you didn't mind the thing with Renee. To those who do hate the Renee situation and want nothing but Edward filling every chapter, I have only one piece of advice. Discontinue reading this story and leave. Romance will be a big part of the story, but I'm trying to write a story that doesn't only have romantic love, but family love and friendship love too. Bella and Renee's broken relationship is a large part of the healing that needs to happen in this story and if you can't handle the fact that not every chapter will be full of romance and Edward love, I suggest you leave. Not everything in life has to do with romance. Some of the best books have many different themes incorporated.

That being said, on with Chapter THIRTEEN!!!


I had to admit, it made sense. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed to be the remedy that Renee so desperately needed, but I was worried about Marie. How would she feel seeing her grandmother that way? But as Rose also said, they didn't have to meet in person just yet.

Maybe Marie was that step in the right direction Renee needed.

Maybe she could make it better.

Chapter 13: All Fall Down

"No more stories, Marie. It's time for bed," I said, putting away the storybook she handed me and pointed her to her bed. I had already read two books to her and she needed to go to sleep.

"Aw, Mommy, one more?" she asked.

I shook my head. "You have school tomorrow, honey. Time to sleep."

Marie climbed into her bed and burrowed herself under the covers. I tucked her in, kissed her cheek, then turned off the light and left. I left her door open a crack before heading to my own room. Normally I would stay up after Marie went to bed for another hour or two before going to sleep, but with everything that had happened today, with Edward, Renee, and what Alice and Rosalie told me, I really just wanted to go to Dreamland and forget it all.

I changed the loose tank top and pajama pants I wore to bed before heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I decided to skip a shower and just take one in the morning.

I got into my bed and tried to go to sleep, but it wouldn't come. The day's event just kept replaying in my mind and I just couldn't seem to shake them off. After what must have been a couple of hours of trying to drift away with no success, I gave a huff of frustration and got up to do something that would make me tired.

I grabbed a book off my shelf and started reading, but the words just went out of my head as soon as I read them. After a long while, I put away the book angrily. It was useless. My mind couldn't be preoccupied. I couldn't stop thinking of today.

I know it was pretty selfish and pitiful, but I couldn't help but feel a little sorry for myself. I was aware that there were many people out there who were worse off than I. People who had bigger problems and hardships. But I still felt sorry for myself. I felt sorry for the fact I had such a screwed up past and a mother who was not well in her mind. I felt sorry for how I hated to see the hospitals bills that came in the mail even though I knew my money was helping Renee get better.

I was ashamed to admit that at times I felt bitter that Renee's treatment was taking money out of my bank account. Taking money I had saved over the years so I could have a decent life with my daughter. So Marie could someday go to college so she could follow her dreams and not be held down the way I had been.

I felt angry that Renee didn't bother to take care of me properly when I was a child, how she was hardly a mother let alone a good one, and now I was expected to pay to help her get better. Why was I expected to help her? She didn't do anything to help me when I needed her, so why did I have to help her?

I thought about all the other people in their beds at night. Some of them worse off than me, but others who didn't have any troubles in the world, content and satisfied as their eyelids close taking them to their dreams. I felt a small bit of resentment towards them. It wasn't fair.

I hated how I was being reduced to a whiny, ungrateful child with all these thoughts. Sometimes, though, you need to wallow in a little self-pity.

But I hated feeling sorry for myself. It made everything seem ten times worse and made me feel vulnerable. I couldn't be vulnerable. I needed to be strong. A trooper.

But in the late hours of the night like this, the mask would, at the worst of times, slip away and I would be me. Bella Swan, scared little chicken who needs to suck it up and move on. My slip in the office was something that could never happen again. I'm not saying I would turn into stone and be emotionless, but I couldn't let myself seem that weak again.

People say you shouldn't hide. I can't do that. If I don't hide my feelings, they would burst forth, and I had to put on a strong face for Marie. She was most important.

The door slowly creaked open and I turned around to see Marie poke her head inside. I was sitting up in bed, the lamp on my night side table was still on, but I wasn't really doing anything. I looked at the clock and realized it was past midnight. I had tucked Marie in four hours ago.

My heart just about broke when I saw her face. Her little cheeks were wet with tears and her lips were slightly trembling.

"Marie what's wrong?" I asked, lifting the side of my comforter up a bit, inviting her to come and slip in beside me. She crawled in right away and snuggled up to my side.

"I had a bad dream," she said quietly.

I wiped away the wet streaks on her cheeks wondering how bad it was. I didn't hear her screaming or anything, so hopefully not too bad. Marie always came to me at night whenever she had a nightmare.

"Do you want to talk about it? What was it about?" I asked.

"Everyone was giant peanut butter jars and they were chasing me, trying to get me," she said, burying her face into my side. I tried not to laugh, even though it was quite tempting. It was scary to Marie, so I knew laughing wouldn't make her feel better.

"Was I a giant peanut butter jar?" I asked. I tried to hide it, but the amusement was still clear in my voice.

Marie looked up at me and glared. "Yeah." And then her eyes grew scared again. "It was scary, Mom."

"It's alright," I said soothingly. Suddenly, Marie sat up and looked at my face, her eyes widened and I got worried. What was the matter? Was there something on my face?

"Mommy, is your cheek wet?" she asked, pointing to my left cheek. I lightly touched it with my fingertips, and low and behold, there's a small bit of water on my fingers. Tears? But when did I cry? I wanted to kick myself. A few tears must have slipped without me knowing while I was busy whining and feeling sorry for myself. I was such a selfish idiot.

Marie got up on her knees and wiped away the wetness from my cheek and said, "Why were you crying?"

I shrugged. "I have a lot on my mind right now," I said simply.

"Like what?"

I shrugged again. "It's nothing important."

"Then why did you cry?"

Dear God, she was persistent. "Just worrying about work and stuff."

"Are you sad 'cause you had to go to the doctor, today?" she asked. How did she find out I went to the hospital? I didn't tell her.

"Where did you hear that?" I asked.

"I heard Auntie Alice and Auntie Rose say it," she explained, looking a little guilty for eavesdropping. "Are you sick? Did the doctor give you medicine?"

I shook my head. "Marie, you know it's not nice to listen to other people's conversations. Don't do it again, okay?" She nodded, but I could tell she only agreed so I wouldn't be mad. "And the doctor didn't give me anything. I'm not sick. I went because he needed to talk to me about your grandma. She's still very sick."

"What is she sick with?"

"It's a different kind of sick than what you get," I said. "She's very sad."

"Can I visit her? Maybe it will make her happier," Marie suggested.

I was going to give an immediate 'no', but then remembered what Alice and Rosalie told me, about how Marie could possibly help Renee get better. I still didn't think they should meet face to face just yet. I was still thinking about it. I tucked Marie's hair behind her hair. "I'll think about it," I said.

"Okay." She paused, looking at me. "You still look sad, Mommy. You should be happy."

I had to stop myself from saying 'why?', because I knew that would have disappointed her little heart. I needed to stop being so damn negative.

"Okay, kid," I said, lying back down to go to sleep. "You make it sound so easy, though."

"I think it is easy, Mommy."

"It is?" I asked, reaching over and turning off my lamp. I laid down on my right side, facing Marie, while she laid on her left, facing me. I could see the outlines of her facial features form the pale moonlight spilling into the room from the window. "What do you think being happy means?"

Her eyebrows furrowed in concentration, obviously trying to figure it out. "Butterflies," she said finally.

I raised my eyebrows at her. "'Butterflies is being happy?"

She nodded. I chuckled lightly. Of course butterflies was the answer to being happy for Marie. She was five years old. The entire world and everything in it was so much simpler in the eyes of a five year old. "Go to sleep now, sweetie. Goodnight," I said quietly.

"Goodnight," she whispered, closing her eyes. I laid awake as I heard her breathing even out, indicating she was now asleep. I rolled over on my back and stared at the ceiling.

Marie made everything look so easy and simple, even though I knew it wasn't. But that was the beauty of a little girl's mind. She was happy with the littlest things, like butterflies and flowers. It made me feel ten times more selfish for my whiny thoughts earlier. If Marie could stay positive all the time, the so could I. Being so negative would take me no where.

The situation with Renee would probably get worse before it got better; most things always did, but I would somehow have to make it through.

But despite my new resolution, I still couldn't help but feel this impending cloud of doom hanging around close by, just waiting for the opportune moment to come pour down on me.

It didn't sound or feel too promising.

* * *

"Bye, sweetie. Have a nice day," I said to Marie as I dropped her off at school the next morning.

"Bye, Mommy," she said quickly, running off, eager to join her friends.

I ended up not getting much sleep last night. The day's events as well as my little late night conversation with Marie kept going through my mind. Not to mention that little cloud of impending doom I felt approaching. Staying positive was harder than I thought.

"Hey, Bella!" I heard Jessica call as I walked down the hallway of the office building, coffee in hand, heading towards my office. I groaned internally and turned around to face Jessica. I was really not in the mood for her mindless gossip. She really should have gotten a job as some writer for a gossip magazine. But then again, she would probably put 'like' between every typed word.

"Hi, Jessica," I said politely, trying to have a friendly tone. With everything going on, the fact I hardly got enough sleep last night, and how Jessica just seemed to bring out the worst in me, it was hard to seem cheerful.

Jessica caught up to me and said, "You look tired, Bella. Late night?" she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and I almost choked on the coffee I was drinking. Of course she would come to that solution. It was common knowledge among those that had been working here for the last couple of years that both Jessica and Lauren Mallory would sleep with pretty much any man as long as he had a lot of cash and wasn't seventy years old. Men like Edward and Emmett were their perfect catch.

"No," I said tartly as I entered my office and sat down behind my desk.

"Aw, come on, Bella. Don't be so, like, snappy. You should loosen up!" she said, perching herself on the edge of my desk. Why didn't she go find Lauren?

"I'm not snappy," I said. Well, maybe I was a little, but only because she was annoying the hell out of me. "I'm just more mature. I do have a daughter to think about before I jump at every man."

"Right. I forgot about her." Jessica glanced at the two little framed photographs I had on my desk. One was Marie's kindergarten school picture and the other was a picture of Marie, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, and me last summer sitting under a big tree. "But don't you get tired? Like, tired of always having to be taking care of a kid and thinking about them before yourself?"

I sighed. My patience worn out. "No. I don't get tired of having my daughter to take care of." She looked at me skeptically. "I wouldn't trade her for a freer lifestyle, ever." I looked at Jessica's face once more and sighed again. "You'll understand better when or if you have your own kid one day." For her sake, I hoped the father of her children would be smart, because God knew she lacked that.

The door opened and in stepped Edward. He nodded politely at us, walking towards the door to his office. "Morning, Miss Swan, Miss Stanley," he said briefly.

"Hey, Mr. Cullen!" Jessica said cheerfully. She beamed at him, but he already retreated into his office. I had to resist the urge to snort. She huffed and stood up.

"I'll see you later, Bella," she said before leaving.

I breathed out a small sigh of relief at her departure and turned to my computer, getting to work. For the next couple of hours the only sounds in the office were the clicks of my fingers on the keyboard and the rustling of papers. The phone rang a few times, but other than that, it felt peaceful. My work was a welcome distraction from letting my mind stray to my conversation with Marie last night or to yesterday. It was too bad that this distraction was only temporary.

Before I knew it, it was time for my lunch break. I probably would have skipped it if Edward didn't come out of his office and clear his throat in front of my desk.

"Ahem."

I jumped slightly in my chair and my head snapped up to look at him. He chuckled quietly at my reaction and I just continued to look at him. I then noticed that something in Edward's eyes was off. Something was bothering him.

"Is there something you need, sir?" I asked. He grimaced a bit at my formality.

"It's your lunch break, Bella," he replied simply. I looked at the clock and was surprised by how much time had passed since I came into the office.

"Oh, thanks," I said, closing the files on my computer and getting up. I put on my coat and was reaching for my handbag when I noticed Edward was still there, looking at me. I turned to him and raised my eyebrows in question. He still didn't respond. I spoke up.

"Is something wrong, Edward?" I quickly glanced down at myself to make sure I didn't have some embarrassing stain or rip on my clothes. Nope. Everything was in order.

He shook his head. "No, everything is fine."

I picked up my handbag and turned to leave when Edward called my name.

"Bella?"

I looked at him. "Yes?"

He looked a little sheepish as he asked, "Do you want to go out and grab some lunch with me? As coworkers."

If he didn't add that little 'as coworkers' part in the end, I would have though he was asking me out on a date. But I knew better. Men like Edward Cullen didn't ask the lowly young single moms out on dates; he asked the gorgeous, rich supermodels. My immediate reaction was no, but then I decided what the hell, he only said as coworkers, right? Coworkers went out to lunch all the time. But then again he was more my boss than coworker. Eh, our jobs were co-dependent in a way, so it should be fine.

I was far too paranoid about this, and I didn't even know why.

I nodded. "Sure."

He smiled crookedly and I may have stopped breathing for a split second. His smile was gorgeous to say the least.

"There's a small restaurant down the street. Want to go there?" he asked me.

"Okay," I said, I didn't really care. I'd probably already been to whatever restaurant he was talking about. I had worked in this particular area longer than he had been.

We left the office building, walking down the street in awkward silence. Well, it was awkward for me. Edward on the other hand looked… well, I didn't really know how he looked since I avoided looking at his face. I wasn't even sure why there was this tension between us or why I was acting like a nervous teenager going on her first date. It was kind of pathetic, really.

We arrived at the restaurant, Edward very politely opening the door for me, and we went inside. The hostess waiting at the front looked towards us and immediately she stood a little straighter once her eyes landed on Edward. She smiled a little too widely.

"Welcome to La Bella Italia," she said, her eyes never straying from Edward. It was so obvious she was interested in him. The worst thing was, she didn't look older that eighteen. I didn't look to see if Edward noticed; I still wasn't looking at him. I truly was pathetic.

She seated us in a booth near the back of the restaurant and left with another flirtatious smile towards Edward. I didn't really like the way she was looking at him. It made a very unwelcome urge to slap her across the face lie in the pit of my stomach. I had to control these teenager instincts.

The waitress came right after the hostess left. Thankfully, she was an older woman who was married, judging by the wedding band on her finger, who didn't show any interest in Edward. Weird how it made me feel so relieved.

She brought us our drinks and then left to tend other tables until our food was ready. That same awkward silence fell between us again. I wondered who would be the first to break it. I didn't really want to.

"What are you thinking?" he asked suddenly. I moved my eyes to his face to see he was staring intently back at me. I shrugged a bit.

"Nothing you would find interesting," I said lightly.

"I beg to differ. I find your thoughts very interesting," he disagreed. He was feeling persistent today, wasn't he?

"I was thinking about my family and work," I said very vaguely. These weren't lies. Renee and Marie were always on my mind unless I was very distracted, which I wasn't, and I was also thinking about him, and he related to work.

Edward frowned. "You like to give vague answers, don't you? You never answer me properly." He sounded somewhat saddened by this.

"You wanted an answer, you never specified what kind of answer you wanted," I said rather immaturely. I wondered what his definition of a proper answer was. "What are you thinking about Mr. Cullen?" I asked him. I expected him to be either annoyed or amused; the most common of his emotions whenever dealing with me. But instead he remained serious.

"I was thinking about yesterday," he replied.

I stiffened a bit remembering how I broke down pathetically yesterday in the office. I let Edward see me like that, and worse, I leaned on him for comfort. I dreaded to ponder what he thought of me now. He probably thought I was a mentally unstable woman with random emotional breakdowns.

"What about yesterday?" I said, obviously avoiding the subject.

"You know, Bella."

I did know. And I also knew why he was bringing it up. He was curious. He wanted the story to go behind the meltdown. I hoped he didn't tell anyone about it though he didn't seem like the type who would.

Edward spoke again. "Why were you so upset?" he asked gently. I bet he was afraid I would burst into tears right there in the restaurant or have some other weak moment. Why, oh why did he have to see me like that yesterday?

"Why do you want to know?" I said back, a slight edge to my voice. Immature, I know, but I felt my carefully constructed walls slowly slipping, and I hated it. It scared me.

"Bella, I'm only asking because I'm worried," he said. I looked into his eyes and actually saw sincerity. "I'm pretty sure things like that isn't a regular occurrence for you. You're my coworker and my friend," he smiled when he said 'friend'. I also noticed that he said coworker instead of employee. "I'm just inquiring into your welfare."

"It isn't a regular occurrence for me, but you just caught me at a weak point. We all fall down sometimes. I'm fine."

"Somehow, I don't believe that."

I looked into his green eyes for a few moments more, not saying anything. He was curious, of course, but I also saw honesty. He was telling me the truth about being worried.

I didn't want to tell him, but at the same time I felt I needed to. It was an indescribable feeling. This was my boss, this was Edward Cullen, rich boy extraordinaire, yet I still felt the need to pour out my problems to him. I knew that talking about your feelings was supposedly good for you. I already told everything to Rose, Alice, and Jasper, but they gave me advice and now I couldn't stop contemplating their advice about Marie in my head. Maybe I needed another outlet. But talking about your problems to someone you never really liked was never an easy task.

I decided to answer him 'properly', but I wasn't going to pour my heart out all at once. Keep it blunt and short. I felt a pull towards Edward, and I felt a need to let him in and talk to him, but I wasn't sure I was ready.

"My mother is in the hospital," I said shortly.

"Is she the one you're paying for treatment for?" he asked quietly, but seriously.

I narrowed my eyes at him, but nodded. He was still thinking of that stupid bill he found in my apartment quite a few weeks ago. I thought, or rather hoped, that he had forgotten about it.

The waitress came suddenly and put our food down, breaking our conversation. I thought Edward would drop the subject as soon as the food made an appearance, but I was wrong. Once the waitress left, he spoke again.

"What I don't understand, Bella, is that your mother has obviously been in the hospital for a while, judging by that bill, yet you're upset just now. Did something happen?"

I looked back into his eyes and saw concern now in them. He was concerned about me.

I grimaced, thinking back to that phone call from Dr. Walker. I probably shouldn't have had him tell me about Renee's second suicide attempt over the phone, but call it an impulse.

"She had some… complications," I said, putting a piece of mushroom ravioli in my mouth.

"Complications? What was it? I know a fair bit about medicine." He really didn't want to let the matter go. It seemed he really, really wanted to get to the root of what was bothering me.

I shook my head. "She's not physically sick. She's a mental patient." I flinched at how cold the words sounded. Calling her a mental patient automatically made me think of a crazy screaming woman with scraggly hair, sitting in a white room and wearing a strait jacket. That wasn't Renee.

"She's not crazy or anything," I said, not really knowing where the words I was saying were coming from. "She's depressed." I started picking with the corner of my napkin. Before I knew it, the words flew from my mouth. It was word vomit. "She's sad and guilt-ridden and lonely and self-loathing and… and she hates herself. Too much. She barely eats and has no interest in anything anymore. She always has all these sudden bouts of sadness or anger and the therapy doesn't seem to be helping her. If it did, she wouldn't have tried to kill herself for the second time in her depressed life. And now I don't even know what the hell I'm saying or what to do about her to make her better because this is my entire fault, and-"

My eyes widened and I abruptly shut my mouth when I realized I just said all of that. It was uncontrollable and I immediately regretted it. I just revealed far too much. I felt myself all these words but couldn't find the sense to stop before I said something stupid. Too late. I said something stupid.

I just admitted that I was to blame for my mother's severe depression and suicide attempt. He must have been thinking about what a horrible person I was. Causing my own mother to hate her life enough to end it. I hated to even imagine what kind of terrible thoughts of me were floating around in his head. I wondered if this would make my job much harder to keep. Probably.

"Bella…" Edward said. I expected him to sound cold and stiff, but it was quite the opposite. He sounded soothing and as if he was trying to coax me into looking at him. I slowly allowed my eyes to ride to his face, ready to look away at the first sign of contempt.

But instead his face was worried, his eyes holding concern and comfort, like he didn't believe my words, the words blaming myself. There was another emotion in there that was not quite so easy to decipher, though. It was foreign.

It didn't look like he was judging me or feeling disgusted. He looked so worried and like he wanted to help. He looked like he cared.

And for the second time in two days, Edward Cullen looked like a safe haven.

A/N: Review! And sorry for the late update. Next update will hopefully be next weekend. Hopefully.

3 things stopped me from updating last weekend. 1) I got obsessed with a new book and literally couldn't put it down, it was so damn suspenseful. It was The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. Yes, I know SMeyer recommended it, but I actually didn't know that until after I finished the book and was digging online for the release date of Book 2.

2) Personal problems. A friend of mine, who is like a sister to me, is going through a difficult time right now and needed me with her. She comes before my stories, sorry.

3) Inspiration hit me and I've been feverishly working on a new original novel, not a work of fanfiction. At home and even at school in between classes, I've been scribbling down things on random sheets of paper or in a notebook, developing the characters and plot, brainstorming titles, writing rough summaries, etc. Sometimes I did this during classes (bad, Laura! Bad!). It's still in the very rough stages, of course.

So those are my reasons. I type too much in my author's notes, but oh well. I know some of you got impatient with me, but meh *shrugs*.

Oh! And I also started a LiveJournal account because my FF profile was getting lengthy, so I needed somewhere to dump a bit of the load. If any of you have a LiveJournal too, feel free to add me as a friend! You can also leave me suggestions on what to write in my entries in your review (ex. view on Breaking Dawn). The link is the Homepage link on my profile.

Peace out.