Ranma the Forever Man
*Gulp*
Yeah, I'm brooding, not like I don't have a reason though. How would you feel if your wife were busy getting it on with a younger model? Even if it's a younger version of me, it still pisses me off to no end! Do I go running around on her?
*****************************************************
"Kay girls, who wants to ride the Wild Stallion?" A nude Ranma faced towards a tavern full of luscious women, gyrating his hips in a slightly suggestive manner.
****************************************************
*Gulp*
I've been faithful to her all the time.
****************************************************
"Come out, you little hussy!" Akane stalked through the woods, holding Soul Swallower's hilt in a white knuckled grip, her battle aura was blazing like a sun at midday. Behind a tree, not too far from the immortal, a nude woman involuntarily relieves herself of bodily wastes.
***************************************************
*Gulp*
Is it wrong for her to do the same? I'm a fair man; I don't think it's too much. We're gonna have words after this, I guarantee it.
***************************************************
"*Gulp*, 'nother one," Kasumi stood at ready with the bottle, pouring after every shot the immortal man downed, behind her lay several empty bottles. Cologne, Ryoga, Shampoo, Ukyo, and Mousse sat around, waiting for the Forever man to finally get his fill so they may question him.
"Really now," Cologne commented, watching liberal amounts of libation being downed with impunity, "such intoxication will be the death of you..."
___________________________________________
"ACHOO!!!!!" A grim looking man sitting on a bone white throne blinked in confusion and wonderment, "I... I sneezed? COOL!"
He would spend the rest of the day trying to repeat the action
___________________________________________
"Believe me, I would welcome it if it were possible," the forever man replied, before downing another shot.
Nabiki turned back from watching the binge fest to her sister who was sitting on the porch, looking off into the distance, "Do you think it was a good idea to let your older self go talk with Ranma?"
Akane jumped slightly at the question directed towards her. She looked towards her sister for a second, then turned back to watch the afternoon sun approach the horizon, "Honestly, I don't see what the problem is, she only said she'll go reason with him. She's right when she said she understands Ranma better than I do right now."
"You don't *really* believe that, I mean look at her Ranma," Nabiki gestured to alcohol disposal unit their oldest sister was servicing, "Her Ranma isn't exactly a mirror image of ours."
Akane sighed before replying, "You're probably right, but I don't know what to say to him now. I know now he truly cares for me, loves me even. I don't know if I'm ready to face him yet."
"Akane, if you're positive of his feelings for you, you really should be the one with him right now. Not a twilight Zone rendition of you."
The youngest Tendou daughter closed her eyes, steadying herself, "I guess you're right, but I don't know how to approach this."
"How about directly?" Nabiki hinted.
Akane looked towards her sister contemplatively, then her attention was jerked away by a shrill scream.
"HOW DARE YOU SULLY MY DARLING RANMA YOU WRETCHED WHORE!"
"Geez, if you just give him a few moments, he'll have enough stamina for you to have a turn too!" A nude immortal woman dodged ribbon slashes precariously, as she bounded backwards towards the Tendou household.
"Wait! Kodachi! You have it all wrong! Er, maybe you do have the right idea but-OMPH!" Ranma tripped over his pants, still around his ankles, as he clumsily bounded on the rooftops after the two women. His fall sent him into a chimney, knocking him unconscious.
By now everyone in the residence had come to see the scene. Mousse removed his glasses as a courtesy to the immortal woman's modesty (not that she had any), while Ryoga provided his own courtesy by hemorrhaging into unconsciousness.
"Rrrrrrrraaaaaaannnnnnnnnnmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" came a duet of voices, one tinged with a Kansai accent, while the other one with a Mandarin lilt.
Without looking at her sister, Nabiki took a step away from the most violatile blast zone, "I guess it really wasn't a good idea to let her... *ahem*... 'talk' with Ranma-kun."
Nabiki was surprised by her youngest sister's reply, "I guess it's only fair," Akane replied with a shrug. Nabiki stared long and hard at her sister.
"YOU SLUT!!!!" Ukyo descended towards the immortal woman, her spatula turned for a vertical slash primed to split a boulder in half. The immortal woman effortlessly stepped out of the way of the blade, while avoiding a snap of a gymnast's ribbon.
"Hello!" Akane, the Child of Beelzebub, chirped to the newcomer.
"DAMMIT AKANE!" Ranma the immortal Man shouted out, "COULDN'T YOU HAVE AT LEAST PUT ON A BRA? NOW YOU'RE GONNA BE COMPLAINING ABOUT SAGGING!"
" Shut up, you!" The eternal girl shouted, consciously bringing her arm up to support her chest.
"DIE!" Shampoo's bonbori slammed into spot Akane was less than a split second ago.
"Lather! I thought we were friends!" Akane, the Moon Swallower that plunges the night into total darkness, shouted indignantly, while evading the machinegun pace mace swings, along with a battle spatula and several gymnastic pins.
"NAME SHAMPOO! AND IF YOU REALLY SHAMPOO FRIEND, YOU STAND STILL SO SHAMPOO CAN KILL!"
::CLONG!!!::
Akane stood still, when the three weapons slammed into her at once, "Are you taking advantage of my friendship? I'm hurt that you would be so shallow!" The immortal woman pouted, as Ukyo fought to get her vibrating spatula under control, Shampoo stared dumbly at the stick missing a colorful metal sphere at the end of it, and Kodachi continued to attempt to pummel her current bane of existence without results.
"Excuse me, I'm having an intimate and meaningful chat with my best friend Shampoo, so can you, like, go away or something?" Akane asked nicely, grabbing the gymnast's wrist as she tried another strike.
::WHAM WHAM WHOOSH!!!!:: Akane slammed Kodachi to twice to each side of her, and then tossed her straight into the air. Shampoo and Ukyo decided that it would be prudent not to provoke any more retaliation from the other woman.
"Howdy" A cloaked head poked out of a blue swirling hole that floated in the air, "New look for you, Akane?"
"Huh?" Akane, the cracker of toenails, looked guilelessly towards the newcomer, then looked down at herself, "OHMYFUCK! I'M NAKED!!!!!!"
Her husband grumbled to himself, and shoved his shot into Kasumi roughly. The eldest Tendou daughter didn't even seem to notice, as she unconsciously poured more liquor into the glass, overflowing it.
The eternal girl attempted to cover herself, "DON'T LOOK AT ME! DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!"
"Death, I shoulda known you'd be show'n your ugly face around here," The eternal man growled, "I bet you had something to do with our little trek back in time here to boot..."
"Moi? I'm hurt, I say, HURT! Don't you realize I would miss your company if you went missing?" Death swooned at the thought, "Why, I searched for you far a wide, worrying for your safety!"
"We feel so warmed by your concern," Ranma the Forever Man quipped.
"Whelp, no need to dally, it's time for you crazy kids to get back where you belong," the Grim Reaper's hands started to stretch the hole in the air to accommodate the size of the couple.
"Not a moment too soon, liqueur's kinda weak this day an age." Ranma started to step into the portal, before turning back to his wife, "Yo, 'Kane, you coming or what?"
The immortal woman forgot her present state of dress, 'But... but there's ice-cream here..."
Death sighed, "Come on, Akane dear, I'll see about getting you all the ice-cream you want back when we get home..."
"Triple chocolate fudge fattener?"
"Uh..." Death replied, "Sounds fine to me."
That was all the encouragement the immortal woman needed. Akane bounded for the hole and jumped onto her husband's back, "GIDDY UP!!! There's ice-cream ahead!" The immortal man rolled his eyes and stepped into the hole, before going all the way through it, he turned around.
"See ya around... I guess." Akane waved bye from his back as he turned back to return to his own time. The couple vanished back to where they belonged..
Death turned around and spoke before following them, "You have a lovely home." He stepped into the time portal himself. After he was through, it began to slowly close itself.
Everyone present watched in silence, Kasumi finally breaking the soundlessness.
"What a lovely couple they made," she carefully took a swig from the bottle she was holding.
__________________________________________
***********************************************************
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
EPILOGUE
Ranma and Akane entered into a forest of their own time.
"Well, be it ever so humble..." the immortal man stated. His wife hopped off his back, and stared at him cautiously.
"Ranma, do you really think it was an accident that we got sent back in time?"
___________________________________________
An unprecedented amount of millennia, ten years, six months previous
"Ranma..." Akane approached Ranma, as he sat on the roof, looking at the stars.
"You wanna clobber me now for earlier?" Ranma was ready for his punishment, what he did was inexcusable even to him.
Akane smiled, "You really were willing to do that... with me?"
"Uh... yeah," Ranma replied cautiously, this wasn't the way he was expecting the conversation to go, which means it could get much more dangerous.
"I saw you got pretty far," Akane sat down next to her fiancée, and stared at the stars with him.
"Well, we, um, didn't get much accomplished before Kodachi showed up," Ranma confessed, blushing furiously.
Akane giggled a bit, before turning serious, "Poor Kodachi, Ukyo and Shampoo shouldn't have done that."
"Well, maybe they're right. They'll probably give her back once she got on their nerves," both youths went into laughing fits that lasted for a few moments. Once they calmed down, Akane turned back to Ranma, once again serious.
"Ranma, I'm sorry that you didn't, you know..."
Ranma looked at Akane with a pole axed expression, she was... apologizing for him being unfaithful.
"And if you're... you know... disappointed. Would you, um, like to... dosomething?" Akane asked the last part quickly, blushing just as bad as Ranma.
Ranma managed to digest what his fiancée just offered, and found himself grinning. Inside, a seed of confidence began to blossom.
___________________________________________
"Accident my ASS!" Ranma stated firmly, "There was a damn good reason we were there, I just can't put my finger on it.
Akane nodded solemnly, there was just too much of a coincidence they got sent back to where they had first met.
___________________________________________
An uncounted number of millennia, Ten years, five months, four days previous
"No way.... not... by.. Femboy....." Tarou thought, as he collapsed into unconsciousness. Ranma stood over the massive beast form, grinning. Ever since his battle with his future self, he had felt strength far beyond his previous limits. His confidence was steadily growing, and it had allowed him to defeat Tarou soundly.
____________________________________________
"That bastard had something to do with it, and I know he ain't gonna be telling!" Ranma grumbled, overlooking a cliff they happened upon. A now clothed Akane shrugged, as she dangled her feet off the edge.
"I don't think we should dwell on it, it's not gonna get us anywhere.
_____________________________________________
A lot of millennia, ten years, three months, sixteen days previous
Cologne watched as Ranma almost effortlessly took down Herb. The boy was getting a bit too overconfident; perhaps it was time for her to take him down a few notches. Humility's always good for youth.
_____________________________________________
"Yeah, we'll find out when it's least convenient," Ranma accepted, and then turned to his wife with a stern look on his face, "Anyhow, we need to discuss your infidelity.
_____________________________________________
Many thousands of years, nine years, eleven months, fourteen days previous
"I did it, I defeated the Shun Gouki Shiatsu"
_____________________________________________
Akane turned back to him with a sardonic smirk, "Why, husband dear, are you jealous?"
_____________________________________________
A long long time ago, four years, two months, twenty-two days previous
"SHIN... MOUKU.... TAKABISHA!!!!!" Ranma shoved his attack at point blank range into the fully developed fire god. Saffron gave a mighty scream as his body was ripped apart from the center
______________________________________________
Ranma chose not to dignify the inquiry with an answer, giving Akane all the proof she needed, "aww, aren't you sweet?"
"Shut the hell up..." Ranma grumbled under his breath.
______________________________________________
10^3XN + two years, seven months, four days previous
Happosai finally came to, and stared blankly at his former heir, now grand master of the Anything goes School of Martial Arts, "I... lost."
_______________________________________________
"Well, if it's any consolation, I did it because I knew it was with you," Ranma raised an eyebrow, not completely buying the line, but not exactly dismissing it.
"Indeed?"
His first reply was a light kiss on his lips. "Indeed," Akane affirmed, before giving her husband a light shove.... right off the cliff.
Akane cheerfully listened to the sounds of her husband bouncing off of rocks and breaking bones, before coming to a stop.
"DAMMIT AKANE! YOU KNOW HOW LONG THIS IS GONNA TAKE TO HEAL?!?" The immortal man shouted back up.
_______________________________________________
Multiple thousands of years previous
Ranma looked at his black-garbed challenger with a guileless expression, as he dodged and weaved through his attacks....
Another one for the resume.
_______________________________________________
Within his realm, Death watched his first fight with Ranma over again, grinning to himself. It had really been too easy to manipulate the boy. Not in all his existence had he seen anyone with so much potential, it was just a simple matter of securing it for his services.
"Ranma, my dear avatar, you truly had no idea."
::FUMP!::
Death blinked, then turned towards the source of the sound.
Kodachi dusted herself off, and looked around furiously. One moment she was crashing through the roof of the quaint residence of her dear Ranma-sama, and when she demanded to know the whereabouts of the trollop that seduced her future husband, that foreign food servant with the exotic color hair (no doubt bottled color) pointed her towards a swirling portal that seemed to be shrinking. When she went to investigate, she was double body checked...
Kodachi swore she would repay both the girl with the ridiculously large cooking utensil, and the foreign hussy for their impudence, but first, she needed to return.
"You there, peasant!" Kodachi shouted towards Death. The Grim Reaper's left eye twitched slightly.
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
To everyone who thought this was just a mindless exercise in wanton violence without a goal or plot in mind....
NYEAH!!!!!
*Gulp*
Yeah, I'm brooding, not like I don't have a reason though. How would you feel if your wife were busy getting it on with a younger model? Even if it's a younger version of me, it still pisses me off to no end! Do I go running around on her?
*****************************************************
"Kay girls, who wants to ride the Wild Stallion?" A nude Ranma faced towards a tavern full of luscious women, gyrating his hips in a slightly suggestive manner.
****************************************************
*Gulp*
I've been faithful to her all the time.
****************************************************
"Come out, you little hussy!" Akane stalked through the woods, holding Soul Swallower's hilt in a white knuckled grip, her battle aura was blazing like a sun at midday. Behind a tree, not too far from the immortal, a nude woman involuntarily relieves herself of bodily wastes.
***************************************************
*Gulp*
Is it wrong for her to do the same? I'm a fair man; I don't think it's too much. We're gonna have words after this, I guarantee it.
***************************************************
"*Gulp*, 'nother one," Kasumi stood at ready with the bottle, pouring after every shot the immortal man downed, behind her lay several empty bottles. Cologne, Ryoga, Shampoo, Ukyo, and Mousse sat around, waiting for the Forever man to finally get his fill so they may question him.
"Really now," Cologne commented, watching liberal amounts of libation being downed with impunity, "such intoxication will be the death of you..."
___________________________________________
"ACHOO!!!!!" A grim looking man sitting on a bone white throne blinked in confusion and wonderment, "I... I sneezed? COOL!"
He would spend the rest of the day trying to repeat the action
___________________________________________
"Believe me, I would welcome it if it were possible," the forever man replied, before downing another shot.
Nabiki turned back from watching the binge fest to her sister who was sitting on the porch, looking off into the distance, "Do you think it was a good idea to let your older self go talk with Ranma?"
Akane jumped slightly at the question directed towards her. She looked towards her sister for a second, then turned back to watch the afternoon sun approach the horizon, "Honestly, I don't see what the problem is, she only said she'll go reason with him. She's right when she said she understands Ranma better than I do right now."
"You don't *really* believe that, I mean look at her Ranma," Nabiki gestured to alcohol disposal unit their oldest sister was servicing, "Her Ranma isn't exactly a mirror image of ours."
Akane sighed before replying, "You're probably right, but I don't know what to say to him now. I know now he truly cares for me, loves me even. I don't know if I'm ready to face him yet."
"Akane, if you're positive of his feelings for you, you really should be the one with him right now. Not a twilight Zone rendition of you."
The youngest Tendou daughter closed her eyes, steadying herself, "I guess you're right, but I don't know how to approach this."
"How about directly?" Nabiki hinted.
Akane looked towards her sister contemplatively, then her attention was jerked away by a shrill scream.
"HOW DARE YOU SULLY MY DARLING RANMA YOU WRETCHED WHORE!"
"Geez, if you just give him a few moments, he'll have enough stamina for you to have a turn too!" A nude immortal woman dodged ribbon slashes precariously, as she bounded backwards towards the Tendou household.
"Wait! Kodachi! You have it all wrong! Er, maybe you do have the right idea but-OMPH!" Ranma tripped over his pants, still around his ankles, as he clumsily bounded on the rooftops after the two women. His fall sent him into a chimney, knocking him unconscious.
By now everyone in the residence had come to see the scene. Mousse removed his glasses as a courtesy to the immortal woman's modesty (not that she had any), while Ryoga provided his own courtesy by hemorrhaging into unconsciousness.
"Rrrrrrrraaaaaaannnnnnnnnnmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" came a duet of voices, one tinged with a Kansai accent, while the other one with a Mandarin lilt.
Without looking at her sister, Nabiki took a step away from the most violatile blast zone, "I guess it really wasn't a good idea to let her... *ahem*... 'talk' with Ranma-kun."
Nabiki was surprised by her youngest sister's reply, "I guess it's only fair," Akane replied with a shrug. Nabiki stared long and hard at her sister.
"YOU SLUT!!!!" Ukyo descended towards the immortal woman, her spatula turned for a vertical slash primed to split a boulder in half. The immortal woman effortlessly stepped out of the way of the blade, while avoiding a snap of a gymnast's ribbon.
"Hello!" Akane, the Child of Beelzebub, chirped to the newcomer.
"DAMMIT AKANE!" Ranma the immortal Man shouted out, "COULDN'T YOU HAVE AT LEAST PUT ON A BRA? NOW YOU'RE GONNA BE COMPLAINING ABOUT SAGGING!"
" Shut up, you!" The eternal girl shouted, consciously bringing her arm up to support her chest.
"DIE!" Shampoo's bonbori slammed into spot Akane was less than a split second ago.
"Lather! I thought we were friends!" Akane, the Moon Swallower that plunges the night into total darkness, shouted indignantly, while evading the machinegun pace mace swings, along with a battle spatula and several gymnastic pins.
"NAME SHAMPOO! AND IF YOU REALLY SHAMPOO FRIEND, YOU STAND STILL SO SHAMPOO CAN KILL!"
::CLONG!!!::
Akane stood still, when the three weapons slammed into her at once, "Are you taking advantage of my friendship? I'm hurt that you would be so shallow!" The immortal woman pouted, as Ukyo fought to get her vibrating spatula under control, Shampoo stared dumbly at the stick missing a colorful metal sphere at the end of it, and Kodachi continued to attempt to pummel her current bane of existence without results.
"Excuse me, I'm having an intimate and meaningful chat with my best friend Shampoo, so can you, like, go away or something?" Akane asked nicely, grabbing the gymnast's wrist as she tried another strike.
::WHAM WHAM WHOOSH!!!!:: Akane slammed Kodachi to twice to each side of her, and then tossed her straight into the air. Shampoo and Ukyo decided that it would be prudent not to provoke any more retaliation from the other woman.
"Howdy" A cloaked head poked out of a blue swirling hole that floated in the air, "New look for you, Akane?"
"Huh?" Akane, the cracker of toenails, looked guilelessly towards the newcomer, then looked down at herself, "OHMYFUCK! I'M NAKED!!!!!!"
Her husband grumbled to himself, and shoved his shot into Kasumi roughly. The eldest Tendou daughter didn't even seem to notice, as she unconsciously poured more liquor into the glass, overflowing it.
The eternal girl attempted to cover herself, "DON'T LOOK AT ME! DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!"
"Death, I shoulda known you'd be show'n your ugly face around here," The eternal man growled, "I bet you had something to do with our little trek back in time here to boot..."
"Moi? I'm hurt, I say, HURT! Don't you realize I would miss your company if you went missing?" Death swooned at the thought, "Why, I searched for you far a wide, worrying for your safety!"
"We feel so warmed by your concern," Ranma the Forever Man quipped.
"Whelp, no need to dally, it's time for you crazy kids to get back where you belong," the Grim Reaper's hands started to stretch the hole in the air to accommodate the size of the couple.
"Not a moment too soon, liqueur's kinda weak this day an age." Ranma started to step into the portal, before turning back to his wife, "Yo, 'Kane, you coming or what?"
The immortal woman forgot her present state of dress, 'But... but there's ice-cream here..."
Death sighed, "Come on, Akane dear, I'll see about getting you all the ice-cream you want back when we get home..."
"Triple chocolate fudge fattener?"
"Uh..." Death replied, "Sounds fine to me."
That was all the encouragement the immortal woman needed. Akane bounded for the hole and jumped onto her husband's back, "GIDDY UP!!! There's ice-cream ahead!" The immortal man rolled his eyes and stepped into the hole, before going all the way through it, he turned around.
"See ya around... I guess." Akane waved bye from his back as he turned back to return to his own time. The couple vanished back to where they belonged..
Death turned around and spoke before following them, "You have a lovely home." He stepped into the time portal himself. After he was through, it began to slowly close itself.
Everyone present watched in silence, Kasumi finally breaking the soundlessness.
"What a lovely couple they made," she carefully took a swig from the bottle she was holding.
__________________________________________
***********************************************************
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
EPILOGUE
Ranma and Akane entered into a forest of their own time.
"Well, be it ever so humble..." the immortal man stated. His wife hopped off his back, and stared at him cautiously.
"Ranma, do you really think it was an accident that we got sent back in time?"
___________________________________________
An unprecedented amount of millennia, ten years, six months previous
"Ranma..." Akane approached Ranma, as he sat on the roof, looking at the stars.
"You wanna clobber me now for earlier?" Ranma was ready for his punishment, what he did was inexcusable even to him.
Akane smiled, "You really were willing to do that... with me?"
"Uh... yeah," Ranma replied cautiously, this wasn't the way he was expecting the conversation to go, which means it could get much more dangerous.
"I saw you got pretty far," Akane sat down next to her fiancée, and stared at the stars with him.
"Well, we, um, didn't get much accomplished before Kodachi showed up," Ranma confessed, blushing furiously.
Akane giggled a bit, before turning serious, "Poor Kodachi, Ukyo and Shampoo shouldn't have done that."
"Well, maybe they're right. They'll probably give her back once she got on their nerves," both youths went into laughing fits that lasted for a few moments. Once they calmed down, Akane turned back to Ranma, once again serious.
"Ranma, I'm sorry that you didn't, you know..."
Ranma looked at Akane with a pole axed expression, she was... apologizing for him being unfaithful.
"And if you're... you know... disappointed. Would you, um, like to... dosomething?" Akane asked the last part quickly, blushing just as bad as Ranma.
Ranma managed to digest what his fiancée just offered, and found himself grinning. Inside, a seed of confidence began to blossom.
___________________________________________
"Accident my ASS!" Ranma stated firmly, "There was a damn good reason we were there, I just can't put my finger on it.
Akane nodded solemnly, there was just too much of a coincidence they got sent back to where they had first met.
___________________________________________
An uncounted number of millennia, Ten years, five months, four days previous
"No way.... not... by.. Femboy....." Tarou thought, as he collapsed into unconsciousness. Ranma stood over the massive beast form, grinning. Ever since his battle with his future self, he had felt strength far beyond his previous limits. His confidence was steadily growing, and it had allowed him to defeat Tarou soundly.
____________________________________________
"That bastard had something to do with it, and I know he ain't gonna be telling!" Ranma grumbled, overlooking a cliff they happened upon. A now clothed Akane shrugged, as she dangled her feet off the edge.
"I don't think we should dwell on it, it's not gonna get us anywhere.
_____________________________________________
A lot of millennia, ten years, three months, sixteen days previous
Cologne watched as Ranma almost effortlessly took down Herb. The boy was getting a bit too overconfident; perhaps it was time for her to take him down a few notches. Humility's always good for youth.
_____________________________________________
"Yeah, we'll find out when it's least convenient," Ranma accepted, and then turned to his wife with a stern look on his face, "Anyhow, we need to discuss your infidelity.
_____________________________________________
Many thousands of years, nine years, eleven months, fourteen days previous
"I did it, I defeated the Shun Gouki Shiatsu"
_____________________________________________
Akane turned back to him with a sardonic smirk, "Why, husband dear, are you jealous?"
_____________________________________________
A long long time ago, four years, two months, twenty-two days previous
"SHIN... MOUKU.... TAKABISHA!!!!!" Ranma shoved his attack at point blank range into the fully developed fire god. Saffron gave a mighty scream as his body was ripped apart from the center
______________________________________________
Ranma chose not to dignify the inquiry with an answer, giving Akane all the proof she needed, "aww, aren't you sweet?"
"Shut the hell up..." Ranma grumbled under his breath.
______________________________________________
10^3XN + two years, seven months, four days previous
Happosai finally came to, and stared blankly at his former heir, now grand master of the Anything goes School of Martial Arts, "I... lost."
_______________________________________________
"Well, if it's any consolation, I did it because I knew it was with you," Ranma raised an eyebrow, not completely buying the line, but not exactly dismissing it.
"Indeed?"
His first reply was a light kiss on his lips. "Indeed," Akane affirmed, before giving her husband a light shove.... right off the cliff.
Akane cheerfully listened to the sounds of her husband bouncing off of rocks and breaking bones, before coming to a stop.
"DAMMIT AKANE! YOU KNOW HOW LONG THIS IS GONNA TAKE TO HEAL?!?" The immortal man shouted back up.
_______________________________________________
Multiple thousands of years previous
Ranma looked at his black-garbed challenger with a guileless expression, as he dodged and weaved through his attacks....
Another one for the resume.
_______________________________________________
Within his realm, Death watched his first fight with Ranma over again, grinning to himself. It had really been too easy to manipulate the boy. Not in all his existence had he seen anyone with so much potential, it was just a simple matter of securing it for his services.
"Ranma, my dear avatar, you truly had no idea."
::FUMP!::
Death blinked, then turned towards the source of the sound.
Kodachi dusted herself off, and looked around furiously. One moment she was crashing through the roof of the quaint residence of her dear Ranma-sama, and when she demanded to know the whereabouts of the trollop that seduced her future husband, that foreign food servant with the exotic color hair (no doubt bottled color) pointed her towards a swirling portal that seemed to be shrinking. When she went to investigate, she was double body checked...
Kodachi swore she would repay both the girl with the ridiculously large cooking utensil, and the foreign hussy for their impudence, but first, she needed to return.
"You there, peasant!" Kodachi shouted towards Death. The Grim Reaper's left eye twitched slightly.
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
To everyone who thought this was just a mindless exercise in wanton violence without a goal or plot in mind....
NYEAH!!!!!