"The truth is an obstacle we all must face and one day push past." – Me

A/N: I'm graduating tomorrow!!!!!!!!! Be happy for me, I'm no longer a high school student!

Chapter Thirteen

Still November

Sirius Black was having a dilemma. And for once it was a real dilemma. Not at all like the fake one he had had in fourth year when he thought that a 'dilemma' was a sort of French dinner roll. He was actually having a real problem. An internal emotional breakdown.

Serena had said that she was in love with him and he was not- need I repeat- was not considering breaking up with her. This was remarkable for a number of reasons. The first and foremost being that every other girlfriend he had that told him she was in love with him got broken up with in mere minutes.

Another reason was that Sirius had always dreamed of dying a bachelor with hundreds of illegitimate children. But after Serena said that, he could see a life with her. A handful of bratty kids he could spoil rotten and feed candy until they were too hipper to go to bed for weeks.

He could see a happy life. A life he would never be alone in.

To be honest Sirius had always hoped that he and James would become old men together. That they would stand the test of time and remain bachelors to the death. But as James got closer and closer to Lily it was become ever clearer to Sirius that James would probably end up marrying the overbearing redhead.

If Sirius had to break with his idea of him and James being the perpetual bachelors he would have to have a pretty good alternative. And Serena was by all accounts a very sexy alternative.

Serena stretched out on the coach in the Gryffindor Common Room hoping for a quick nap before lunch but Sirius had other plans. He had overheard her beautiful proclamation of love nearly two weeks ago but had yet to hear it said to his face. So, if Serena was not going to come to his face to say it, he would bring his face to her.

And that is exactly what he did.

Actually that is quite literally what he did.

Just as Serena closed her eyes she felt something like a nose pressed against her forehead. Her eyes opened and she ended up staring straight at Sirius' chin. So, she pushed his face away from her and tried to go back to sleep. But Sirius was not so easily put off. He smashed his nose into her cheek and waited.

She was trying to ignore him.

Sirius hated to be ignored.

So, he let her know.

"Serena!"

"Gaw!" She pushed him off of the coach and sat up. "I beg you never to do that again."

"Well, you were ignoring me," he said, like a pouting child.

"I was trying to sleep."

"And in the process you managed to ignore me. That's just not nice." He climbed back onto the coach and crossed his arms, as if to say that he was really mad. She sighed.

"Fine, what do you want?" she asked.

"I want you to apologize for ignoring me," he said. He quickly added, "and I want a kiss."

"Sirius, I will not apologize for wanting a nap," this did not make Sirius very happy, "but," man, did he like buts (of all kinds (i.e. buts with two t's)), "I will consent to kissing-" Sirius had heard enough. Hell, he would have been satisfied at the but. She did have a very fine backside.

"Wait!" Sirius yelled, mostly into Serena's mouth. She winced. Sirius was not someone to half ass anything, so when he yelled you can be sure that his point got across.

"What?" she asked.

"You fiendish little poppet," he said playfully, "trying to distracting me from my original purpose were you? Well, you'll find that when I want something nothing will keep me from it. So."

So, he stared at her. Pointedly. He just stared at her. He did not say anything. He was waiting for her to say something. Sirius Black would not proclaim his love without having heard said to his face first. So, there was his face waiting not so patiently to be proclaimed to.

He sighed impatiently.

She just looked at him confusedly.

"Serena!" He yelled like she had done something wrong. Which in his book she had.

"What?" she asked as confused as ever.

"This is my face." He pointed at his face so that she was sure to get it. He waited for a response. "Well, aren't you going to say anything?!"

"Um, it's a very handsome face," she ventured. Sirius relented, slightly.

"Very true, but not what I wanted. You see, Serena, I've helped you out. See, I've brought my face to you. So, you don't have to go find it. I think that's why this has been so long coming. You couldn't be bothered to find my face. But don't worry I'm not mad about that. I mean your hot as hell, I don't really care that you're lazy." Serena tried to understand this haphazard collection of statements for a few minutes before giving up and then trying a reasonable response. She should have known that would not go well.

"Sirius, I have no idea what you're talking about." That was quite true, but not as far as Sirius was concerned. In his world she should have known exactly what he was talking about. So, he just told her.

"You love me," her eyes got wide at the sentence, but he was far from done talking, "I heard you tell your friend in the hallway. I heard you tell her that you're in love with me. And that you have been in love with me since the second you laid your eyes on my hot bod. I just want to hear you say it to my face." He pointed at his face again. And he waited again. But Serena still did not say anything. In fact she looked like she was about to throw up. "Um, babe, you can tell me you love me now. I'm totally ready to hear it."

But Serena did not tell Sirius that she loved him. No, she ran up to the girls dorms and locked herself in there for the rest of the day.

----

James had not gone to Speciology for at least two weeks. Professor Juarbe did not seem to be upset about it. Seeing as he had not mentioned it or even punished James for it. So, Lily, being the dutiful student that she was, tried to ignore it. Maybe James had dropped the class and just refrained from telling her. Or perhaps he had been kicked out (though that was unlikely, James was the best student in that class).

Nevertheless, Lily was getting peeved not knowing why her boyfriend had not shown up to class for two weeks. He even seemed averse to telling her why. She got this idea from how touchy he would get when she brought it up.

He got touchy literally.

James would start kissing and groping her whenever she tried to ask him why he had not been to class. Not that she minded much. She had to admit that once and a while over the last few weeks she brought it up on purpose just so he would kiss her and stop doing his homework.

But now Lily was determined and not terribly interested in snogging. So, she had every intention of finding out the real reason that James was not going to Speciology… and if he was in the mood for talking, why he had not asked her to Hogsmeade now that they were dating.

She found him sitting in his dorm room, and of all things that he could be doing, he was reading. She caught the title of the book, it was Quidditch Through the Ages. Oh good, he was not reading anything out of character. She knew to start worrying when he picked up Shakespeare.

"Hey, babe," he said without looking up from his book. How did he do that! He always knew when she entered a room. He did not even have to be facing the door. Perhaps she would ask him about that to.

But first she would have to get him in the mood for talking. She had gathered over the past two weeks that when he did not want to talk about something, he sure as hell did not talk about it.

This was going to be tricky.

So, Lily put on her brightest smile and sauntered over to James. He looked up and put his book aside as if he knew she intended to do something he would no doubt enjoy. Instead of scowling at him for knowing her so well, she gave him a sultry smile and sat on his lap.

She ran her hands through his hair and kissed his ear. She knew it was time to act when he oh so subtly flipped her over and started kissing her neck. "Jamie?" she whispered.

"Oh yes, Lily," he said between kisses.

"Something has been bothering me," she said. She ran her hands all over him, encouraging him to think this was going somewhere he wanted it to. And it certainly was not.

"MMMM…What is it, Lily-Love?" He moaned into her neck.

"Oh, I should have never brought it up! There's nothing you can do about it, I'm sure!" She whaled. James brought his head out of her hair and gave her a concerned look.

"Baby, just tell me what's wrong. I'll do whatever I can," he said. Maybe he could not read her that well.

"I'm just so curious about something, and I feel like there is nothing I can do to find out what I need to know," she said. James sighed. He sat up and ran his hand through his hair.

"You want to know why I haven't been to Speciology class for the last two weeks," he said. Damn. And she had been doing so well. She sighed and straightened up.

"Yes, I would," she said, matter-of-factly.

"Listen Lily-"

"No, you listen, James Potter. I am your girlfriend, I have every right to know why you haven't shown up to class for two bloody weeks! And no amount of kissing or touching is going to change my mind about this. I want to know the truth."

"The truth?" he asked.

"Yes," Lily nodded, "the whole, complete truth."

"I don't know the whole truth," Lily was about to interrupt him, but he talked over her, "if I did, I would be going to Juarbe's class. If I did I'd be sleeping at night, I'd be talking to the Pagans the way I used to, I'd be eating regularly, I'd be down in the Common Room right now instead of reading for crap's sake. Lily, I just don't know."

Lily digested what he said and tried to formulate a response. She grabbed her boyfriends hand and gave a concerned look. "You haven't been sleeping?" she asked.

"It's all right, Lily."

"It's not all right, James! If a human being doesn't sleep for three days they are legally insane. Are you saying that you haven't slept in two weeks?" James sighed and looked away from Lily.

"You haven't, have you?" James nodded. "How are you not losing your mind? How are you even awake? James this is unhealthy and as your girlfriend I won't stand for it! Now, go to sleep! Go to sleep this instant! Or I'm taking you to the Hospital Wing!" Lily pushed into his bed and pulled the covers up to his chin.

"Lily," James said patiently.

"No, 'Lily', sleep," she said.

"Lily, please, just let me say something," he said.

"No, no, no, no, James you need to sleep. Do you want me to sing to you?"

"I want you to listen to me."

"That is not the yes or no answer I was looking for. Now, close you're eyes."

"Lily, I'm not tired."

"That's impossible, you haven't slept in two weeks."

"I haven't slept since that History of Magick class on the dwarf wars," James said. That stopped Lily.

"But that was last year," she said. James sat up and sighed.

"Yeah, you had gotten a cold and weren't going to class. There was nothing there to amuse me so I went to sleep for about five minutes." James smiled at Lily, but she did not return the gesture.

"James what is going on? What's the real reason you haven't been sleeping and haven't gone to Juarbe's class?" she asked, very seriously. James grimaced, there was no way he could get out of this.

Unless, of course, Sirius chose that moment to seek his best friend's opinion. Which, of course, he did. Sirius walked into his dorm room just as James was about to start talking and promptly talked over him.

"James, what is wrong with Serena?!" he demanded.

"I don't know, what did you do?" James asked.

"I brought my face to her. You'd think she'd be happy about that, but she wasn't. For Merlin's sake, I did her a favor!" Sirius yelled.

"Nothing you just said made any sense," Lily said. "And besides, you've gotten James off topic. I'm not leaving until you answer me."

"Nothing you just said made any sense," Sirius pouted. Lily stared at James, silently willing him to talk.

"James! How are you not dead?" she yelled.

"Now that makes no sense."

"Sirius shut up. James answer me, I'm worried about you. Not sleeping is not good for you," Lily said.

"What do you mean, not sleeping? James sleeps every night. I'm right here when he does it. Isn't that right, Prongs?" Sirius asked. James did not answer, he just looked at his lap. "James?"

"Not exactly," James said.

"Not exactly what?" Sirius demanded. Regardless of any puns he was very serious.

"I haven't slept a wink since last year in History of Magick." Sirius stared at James, completely dumbfounded. Lily was about to get back into interrogating her boyfriend when the door opened again and Remus and Peter walked in.

"Have you guys seen Remy? I really need to talk to her," Remus said. He would have said more if not for the pissed off look on Lily's face, the shocked look on Sirius' face and guilty look on James' face. Peter just looked confused. "Is something wrong?"

"James hasn't slept since last year in History of Magick!" Lily yelled. "Now can we please all ban together to figure out why."

"Lily, that impossible," Remus said, "James would be dead if hadn't slept for that long and that obviously isn't the case."

"That's what I said," even though that is not what Sirius had said, "but James confirmed it. He said just what she said. And he's my best mate, he wouldn't lie to me. He might lie to her certainly not to me."

"James?" Remus asked.

"It's the truth, every word of it," James said. He had never imagined this conversation going this way. But it seemed that he had put this off long enough. He had to face the music.

"But how?"

"Yeah, how?" Peter asked. Sirius nodded at him to speak up.

"Well, what have you got to say for yourself, James," Lily said. James thought for a moment, then spoke.

"Did you guys notice how Professor Juarbe just knew my name? He never asked my name. He just knew it, like he knew me."

"No, I didn't notice that," Peter said.

"I just figured you had gotten in some sort of trouble with him before class," Lily said. Sirius and Remus just nodded along with what Lily said.

"Guys, there is no nice way to say this. In fact I'd really rather not, but it seems inevitable that you'll find out one way or the other."

"James," Lily grabbed his hand, "what is it?"

"Guys," he paused and took his girlfriend's hand, "Lily, I'm a Pagan."