Meredith's heart was pounding against her chest, her ears were ringing and her breathing was shallow as she sat on the bed with her hands still in his. The fear and anxiety she felt earlier was replaced with a whole new set of emotions as she looked away to keep Derek from seeing the affect he was having on her.

"Meredith," said Derek as he slowly withdrew his hands from hers "I need to ask you something and I want you to be honest with me."

Meredith's pulse quickened and her throat felt dry as she looked at him, knowing that he was going to ask her what happened that night eight years ago. She'd thought long and hard about taking Mark's advice and explaining to Derek, but she hadn't figured out what to say to him. How could she tell him that she left because her mother threatened to ruin his surgical career – a career that he wanted so badly? How would she explain that she was pregnant and when her mother found out, had tried to force her to have an abortion? How was she going to tell him that she lost their baby because of her stupidity and carelessness?

"Meredith?" Derek tentatively reached out to give her arm a light shake.

"Wh-what?" she said, snapping out of her thoughts. "I'm sorry…go ahead and ask your question." She felt a lump form in her throat and tried to swallow it down, but the act of doing so made her wince in pain as her throat tightened even more.

"Has he ever hurt you before?" Derek questioned, seeing her facial expression go from worry to confusion.

"What?" she asked. "Who are you talking about?"

"Peter," Derek replied, giving her a quizzical look.

"No…never," she quickly answered, recovering from his unexpected question. "He's never laid a hand on me…in that way," she finished, giving him a weak smile. She looked down at her hands, feeling slightly disappointed that he didn't ask about them.

"Okay," he nodded his head. He believed her, but there was something about her sudden change in behavior that he couldn't quite figure out. "I know it's not my business to ask, but I still care about you."

Meredith's head shot up to look at him, her voice hopeful as she asked "You do?"

"I do," he said, moving to sit down on the bed, facing her. "I know things didn't end well with us, but eight years is a long time to hold a grudge."

"Yeah…," she agreed, feeling the immense weight of her guilt crushing her as she saw the deeply pained look in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I know I'm eight years too late in saying that, but I really am."

"-----"

"Do you…do you ever wonder what it would've been like if we stayed together?" Meredith didn't know what drove her to ask that question. She knew she was opening up old wounds, but a part of her needed to know if he was as affected by their loss as much as she was. She held her breath as she waited for him to answer, her eyes imploring as they looked upon his.

"I did," he finally confessed after a long momentary pause. "I thought about it for days…months…maybe even years after you left. Thinking about us kept me sane, but in the same breath, it drove me crazy with thoughts that maybe it wasn't enough…that I wasn't good enough for you…that I wasn't deserving of your love."

"Derek…," she sobbed, her voice strained as the tears streamed down her cheeks."Oh god…I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I hurt you. It was me…I'm the one who didn't deserve your love. Oh god…please don't ever think that you weren't good enough, because you were. I've loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you and I…I…I still…" She was so overwrought with emotion that she couldn't finish the sentence before her sobs became more frantic and hurried as the tears came faster, making her hiccup.

Derek reached out and pulled her into his arms, her head instinctively moving to rest in the crook of his neck. It felt so good to be in his arms again. She exhaled a deep angst-filled sigh and released all the tension from earlier, allowing herself to fall deeper into his warm embrace as she cried. "Shh," he whispered into her hair, his hands running up and down her back to comfort and still her body as it shook.

Together, they sat holding each other until her cries subsided and her ragged breathing returned to normal. "Please don't hate me," she pleaded, her head still nestled between his neck and shoulder.

"I don't."

Willing herself to move, she reluctantly pulled back and looked at him. "You promise?"

"I promise," he said, smiling at how sweet and childlike she seemed then. He reached his hand up to brush a stray tear, his thumb lightly grazing its silky skin. Meredith let out a soft gasp as she felt his hand cup the side of her face, his thumb gently stroking her flushed cheek as it trailed lower to her lips.

Derek was having an internal struggle with himself. His mind was telling him to stop, yet his hands were moving of their own volition. His eyes were transfixed on her lips as his fingers moved across its swollen flesh, gently parting them to his touch. As if his mind were no longer his own, he moved closer so their lips were inches apart, his warm breath fanning her cheeks. Meredith's heart was beating erratically in her chest as she let her eyes flutter shut and waited with bated breath for the feel of his lips on hers.

The kiss was soft and tentative, neither one wanting to do more than explore each other's lips. Meredith's pulse quickened as she opened her eyes slightly to see Derek kissing her and if it weren't for his warm breath fanning her flushed cheeks or his lips moving ever-so-lightly against hers, she would have thought she was dreaming. With a soft shudder, she let her eyes flutter close and parted her lips further to allow his tongue to slip inside to seek and mate with hers. Her hands reached of their own accord up to twine into his dark raven curls as she gently tugged on its silky strands.

With a low groan deep in his throat, Derek's hand reached out to her slim waist and pulled her close as his other hand went around her back to curl his fingers into her hair. Meredith let out a soft whimper in protest when he broke the kiss, only to smile and let out a guttural moan in satisfaction when his mouth moved to trail a hot path of feather-light kisses along her jaw line, down the smooth column of her neck, across the exposed skin of her shoulder as he kissed and nipped on the soft flesh. Feeling the heat pooling at her core, Meredith's head fell back in complete abandon as her body swayed closer to nestle against his muscled chest. "It's been so long. God, I've missed you," she whispered into his ear, her teeth lightly grazing his earlobe.

Hearing Meredith utter those words snapped Derek back to reality as his mind came crashing down and he remembered that they were in her hospital room. Releasing her from his hold, he abruptly stood up from the bed and moved to the other side of the room, distancing himself from her as much as possible.

What the hell just happen? How did he go from the anger and resentment he felt from her leaving him all those years ago to holding her in his arms and kissing her?

"Derek?" she called to him, her eyes searching as she tried to read his expression.

"I'm sorry, Meredith. I shouldn't have done that." He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and averted his eyes as he lowered his head in shame.

"Didn't you want to kiss me?" she asked, her voice hurt as she saw the way his body tensed up at her question.

"I…," he began in an attempt to explain, but all words failed him as he looked at her imploringly, his eyes pleading for her to understand. "Meredith, I…"

"Don't," she interrupted. Her hope was diminishing as she looked at his face. "I know what you're going to say, so please—"

They both turned their heads at the sound of someone knocking on the door. Derek looked from the door, back to Meredith and waited as she opened her mouth and hesitated before saying "Come in".

They saw the door open slightly and Cristina poked her head inside as she looked around the room, searching for Peter and instead saw Derek standing there. Her brows furrowed together in obvious confusion as she wasn't expecting to see him. "Shit!" They heard her mutter under her breath as she turned to Meredith and asked "Am I interrupting?"

By the looks on their faces, Cristina knew that something had happened. She silently berated herself and looked to see Meredith shaking her head no, but the distressed lines around her eyes clearly indicated otherwise. Cristina looked at her apologetically and said "I…uh…I hope you don't mind a visitor."

"A visitor?" Meredith asked, trying to think of who else would be visiting her here. "Who?"

"It's Kendall Smith. She's Der—"

"Wait!" Derek's sudden outburst caused both women to look at him. "Kendall…as in my girlfriend, Kendall Smith?"

Meredith flinched at hearing him refer to her so intimately and turned to glare at Cristina, waiting for her answer. Her eyes shot daggers at Cristina as she saw the slight nod in confirmation and Cristina mouthed the words "I'm sorry".

"Is it okay, Mer?"

Derek released a heavy sigh, feeling slightly embarrassed as he said "I'm sorry about this, Meredith. Kendall is a fan of your work and when she saw you yesterday, she wanted to meet you but I told her you weren't feeling well." He tried to explain, but he knew he sounded ridiculous.

"If you're not feeling up to it, I can—"

"No, that's okay Cristina. I would love to meet her," she answered, stealing a glance in Derek's direction to see him watching her intently. She gave him a small half-smile to let him know she was okay with this even though deep down she dreaded having to meet the woman who had his heart.

Cristina left the room only to return a few short seconds later with Mark and Kendall in tow.

"This is awkward," Mark mumbled under his breath so only Cristina could hear as his eyes fell on Derek, then over to Meredith.

"Derek," said Kendall in surprise at seeing Derek in the room. "Honey, what are you doing in here?"