AN: There are some pretty awkward parts in this chapter. I'm just warning all for the easily offended.

Week 6:Realizations

Shelley leaned back against the wall facing Rick's bed, picking absently at a fingernail. He spun around in his desk chair, staring blankly at the cieling, waiting for her to say something. Shelley turned her head to the window, looking out over the sloping fields and bright sun illuminating the world below her. She had never really seen the place she lived as beautiful until Edgar came here, but now that she looked out, she saw that he was right. It really was a beautiful place.

"...Aren't the hills so pretty?"Shelley suddenly asked, "I mean when you think about it, the world's pretty amazing, isn't it?" Rick shrugged indifferently.

"I guess. I don't really care,"he answered. Shelley sighed, letting her head fall tiredly into her hands. Why couldn't Rick see the world like Edgar did?

"I'm bored,"he said after a while.

"Same."

"Let's do something."

"What do you want to do?"she asked in a dull, monotone voice. There was a beat of silence.

"Ever smoked a joint?" The question startled Shelley. She looked up, wanting to see if he was joking or not. But no, he was serious.

"No...and I really don't want to,"she said slowly.

"Fine." They dissolved into silence once more, but the atmosphere was tense now. Shelley didn't know what to say, and Rick seemed to know he had made a mistake in asking her.

"I don't do it like...all the time. I mean, just when I'm really bored,"he said when the silence became too unbearable.

"Right,"she mumbled, "Well,...I guess I should get going then."

"You just got here."

"Yeah, well...I have a lot of homework,"she mumbled, not looking at him.

"Shelley." She was about to open the door when he suddenly blocked her path, grabbing her hand a little too forcefully.

"Shell, what the heck? You haven't called once last week, and now you're blowing me off?"

"No, I've just been busy, okay?"

"Too busy for me?"he asked, looking incredulous at the very thought, "What? That bat freak more important than me, now?" He began walking toward her so that she was forced to walk backward, until she was leaning on his bed. Shelley couldn't really tell if he was trying to be romantic or not. Maybe a few weeks ago, she would have played along, maybe even tried to be romantic back. But the fact that didn't feel like playing along at all only reaffirmed the fact that something had changed between them.

"Edgar's not what you think he is, Rick. He's really nice. We're really good friends now."

"Nice doesn't get my sister out of the hospital,"he answered.

"He's sorry about your sister. He said he wants to apologize to her."

"Like hell he's going to apologize to her."

"Rick"-

"Just shut up, Shelley!"he interrupted her, "I didn't invite you over here to talk about your stupid pet!"

"Well I didn't come over here to sit here and stare at the ceiling!" Shelley was going to tell Rick off for berating Edgar, for ignoring her feelings, for being an idiot. But she didn't. Instead she stared at him coldly until they both seemed to calm down enough to speak at a normal volume.

"...Why am I here, Rick?"she asked slowly, her voice even.

"Because this is what we always used to do. You know...hang out here...,"he said, slowly reaching out and pulling her against him, "I know it's been weird lately, but we can still do that, you know...We can pick up right where we left off, right before you started ignoring me..."

"I wasn't ignoring you...,"she mumbled, squirming a little against him, "Rick, I don't know. It doesn't feel the same as it used to." This should have been a warning sign to Rick, but he just ignored this and began absently running his hand down her side.

"Come on, Shell, you know you want to...,"he whispered softly, dipping his head to kiss her. Shelley closed her eyes and leaned into his kiss, but Rick did all the work. She tried to will herself to feel the way she used to whenever he would kiss her like this, but it just felt too unnatural, too rough, even a little annoying. He kept trying to force her mouth open to deepen the kiss, but she was getting fed up. She put her hands up against his chest to try and push him away, but he only seemed to see this as a sign that she was enjoying it.

"Rick, please,"she said quietly, looking pleadingly up at him. They stared at each other for a moment, reading something completely different in each other's eyes. Shelley had meant what she said as "please stop," but Rick saw the pleading look in her eyes in a completely different context. Instead of stopping, he grabbed her face and suddenly kissed her so roughly that Shelley felt sure her lips would bruise. Before she realized what was happening, he had pushed her backwards onto his bed, and he was on top of her, running his hands over every inch of her body. She felt her heart pump rapidly inside her, and she closed her eyes, hardly able to think, everything was happening so fast.

"Rick..." He didn't respond to her. He seemed more intent on getting her clothes off.

"RICK! STOP!"she suddenly shouted, and finally he seemed to hear her. There was complete silence for a while as Rick slowly digested that she had not, in fact, been asking him to take her. They stared at each other for a moment, waiting for the other to say something first.

"I thought you wanted to,"he finally said.

"No,"she said simply, "I don't. I'm sorry, Rick, it just...it just doesn't feel right. Not right now." He stared at her, not knowing what to say. Finally he slowly got off her so she could sit up.

"Okay...whatever. We don't have to, I just thought...you know. We've been going out for like two months now..."

"I know. Maybe some other time,"she mumbled, though she knew there would never be some other time, "You know...when I'm ready."

"Sure, I guess." Shelley looked down at her hands for a moment, then silently slid off the bed.

"I'd better go,"she mumbled silently, heading for the door.

"You'll come over tomorrow, right?"he asked.

"If I have time,"she responded, not looking at him.

"Cool. Well...later then, I guess." She forced a half-sincere smile for him and waved goodbye. As she walked back home, Shelley wrapped her arms around herself and walked as fast as she could, back to Edgar, back to the only boy she knew who did not follow her around and wait by the door for her every day and stare at her with such love and admiration in his eyes because he wanted her for sex. Edgar loved her for her, and right now she just wanted to be with him, and be admired by him, and loved by him, and watch his eyes light up whenever she said something most people would think was stupid and immature.

She closed her eyes and let a tear slide down her face. She had changed, and she didn't understand how or why. A month ago she would have been all too eager to give herself to the coolest boy in school. It would have been one of the greatest things she could have ever hoped for. To be popular and accepted, that was all that mattered to her. But now she just felt empty inside, like everything she had wanted in Rick was gone now. She couldn't remember why she liked him in the first place, or if she even still liked him. She would have done anything he wanted to to gain his affection before. What had changed?

"Hey." Edgar held his breath when she poked her head in the door, smiling shyly. For a moment he just stood there stupidly, not quite sure if she was really here, in his room. It was late at night and Shelley had just returned from Rick's house.

"I-I-uh...h-hello,"he stammered, then turned bright red as he suddenly realized he was completely shirtless. He had been changing into pajamas just as she had walked in.

"Uh-I'm sorry, I-I didn't expect you, so...uh...,"he mumbled awkwardly, looking around for the nightshirt he had apparently dropped.

"Sorry. I just...didn't feel like going to bed quiet yet,"she explained. He finally found the shirt and straightened up, scrambling to get it on. She wasn't looking at him; her eyes seemed to wander over him. Still blushing, he quickly put on his shirt, not noticing at all how Shelley watched him, marveling at his perfectly sculpted chest, thick, chorded muscle that stretched and retracted when he flexed his arms. She felt her stomach flip-flop and her cheeks flush all of a sudden, but even still, she couldn't take her eyes off him until he had put his shirt on.

"Shelley?"he asked, and her head jolted up. He was looking at her with a bit of a perplexed expression, and she realized then that he had been calling her name repeatedly and she hadn't been alert to hear him.

"Uh...sorry,"she apologized, blushing, "What did you say?"

"I say I sorry...,"he mumbed, embarrassed.

"Oh no, it's okay. I'm sorry I bothered you. I just...I had a really good time this morning,"she said quickly, "And...I was wondering if maybe we could just...hang out for a while."

"Hang...out?"he asked, confused.

"Yeah. Like...just talk and spend time together."

"O-Okay,"he replied, breaking out into a huge smile at the idea of spending time with her.

"Do you want to sit down?"she asked, smiling shyly back. He nodded, leading her to the bed. He sat down awkwardly, as if he didn't really know how to sit casually. Finally he did was she did and simply crossed his legs, but he seemed to struggle with it, not knowing which leg was supposed to go where.

"Y'know we should really do that again, sometime. You only got to see a little bit. I wanted to show you a lot more,"she said, smiling. Edgar looked down at his hands as he switched legs a third time, unsure what to say.

"...I don't know...I want to, but I not want Mrs. Parker to be angry at me,"he replied, "I-I not sure how to explain..."

"Oh...No, it's okay. I get it,"she answered.

"I-I want make good...good..."

"Impression?"she offered.

"Yes, impression,"he nodded, "She do so much for me, and...I love her." Shelley smiled weakly, looking down at her hands.

"You know...sometimes being around you makes me feel bad...because I was never really grateful for my mom until you came along."

"I not want to make you feel bad, Shelley,"he said softly, concerned, "I sorry." She quickly shook her head, looking down.

"You shouldn't apologize for things like that. It's a good thing. I mean...it's weird, but I'm kind of a lot closer with my mom now because of you."

"...What that mean? You...closer?"

"Like I get along with her better. We're better friends than we were before,"she explained.

"Oh. I think I understand,"he said, nodding, "...Are we...closer?" She stared at him and smiled gently.

"Yeah, we are,"she said, smiling thoughtfully as she looked down at her hands.

"Because I talk better?"he asked.

"Well, it helps, but there are other things, too,"she said with a reassuring smile, "But knowing you, you'll be speaking better than most English professors by the end of the month."

"I not think so...,"he mumbled sheepishly.

"Besides,"she continued, "You'll get better. You just have to practice. And if it makes you feel any better, your English really isn't that bad. I mean you know what I'm saying for the most part and I understand you. You learned it way faster than anybody ever thought you could."

"But you still better than me..."

"Well, yeah, but I've been speaking my whole life."

"I want be just as good as you, though,"he replied softly, looking down at his hands, "I want be equal."

"...It's not like I'm any better than you are. I mean...not everyone speaks the same language, but that doesn't mean they're less of a person, right?"

"Then why it bad I speak Bat?"he asked.

"It's not bad. It's just not what we speak."

"But...if I same as you, why you get to decide what I speak? Why not I teach you speak Bat instead?"he asked. She thought a moment.

"Well because you're in the human world,"she finally answered, "If I lived in a cave, you would teach me Bat."

"I teach you now if you like,"he said, smiling playfully.

"Okay,"she laughed.

"Eeeeaaaah,"he said slowly. She attempted to imitate him, but she kept on laughing.

"Ee-ah,"she said, gave up, then burst out laughing at herself.

"You do it wrong,"he scolded, laughing with her, "Eeeeaaaah."

"It's harder than it looks,"she admitted, "What are you even saying?"

"I saying hello,"he explained, laughing in spite of her defeat, "That first word Mrs. Parker teach me."

"Eee- eeeaaah - I can't do it."

"It take me long time too to learn English, too, he replied, matter-of-factly.

"E-eeeeaaaah."

"You did it."

"I did?"she asked incredulously.

"You have funny accent, though,"he teased.

"Well so do you,"she laughed. Apparently this was the wrong thing to say, though. Immediately Edgar's face fell, and the open, friendly atmosphere was extinguished.

"...I do?"he asked slowly.

"Well, I mean it's not like I can't understand you. And it's nearly impossible to get rid of an accent you've used your whole life."

"But I don't want an accent. I want talk like everyone else..."

"You will!"she reassured him, then seeing that he was still upset, continued, "Hey, I have an idea. I can ask my mom if we can get some tapes to listen to. Then you can practice on your own."

"What are tapes?"he asked.

"You'll see,"she said, smiling, "They'll help you speak better."

"Oh...okay. Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet,"she replied, shrugging, "I can't promise they'll work."

"It okay...I just practice lots so I not have accent anymore."

"We can practice together,"she said, beaming, "I'll help you. We'll hang out every day, for real. We can do whatever you want."

"Really?"he asked, wide eyed.

"For sure,"she replied. A long stretch of silence passed between them as Shelley stared down at her hands.

"...I got in a fight with Rick today,"she suddenly said, her voice quiet. Edgar hesitated, staring at Shelley for a moment.

"...Why?"he finally asked, guardedly, remembering what she had told him about prying into other people's business. Shelley shrugged again, leaning back against the couch.

"I don't know. He'd just been getting on my nerves lately. I don't really like him as much as I used to,"she answered softly, not looking at him, "He gets angry way too easily, and he's really rude to everyone around him, and really dense sometimes... Edgar looked down at his hands, not knowing what to say now.

"...But don't you tell anyone that, okay? That's a secret! I'm only telling you this because you don't know him very well!"she suddenly added, sitting up a little, "Got it?" Edgar stared at her, a little taken back.

"I won't tell,"he promised quickly.

"Well, now that I think of it, that's not fair."

"What not fair?"he asked.

"It's not fair that I told you a secret and you didn't tell me one,"she declared, "You tell me a secret now."

"What...does secret means?"he asked.

"A secret's like something that you don't tell just anybody. It's something you've always been too scared to say out loud, but you think about it a lot. It's something personal...and you can't tell them to people you don't trust." She could see she was making him nervous now. He hesitated a moment, thinking hard about what he wanted to say.

"I don't really like Dr. Parker...,"he confessed finally, looking down in shame, "He gives me mean look a lot of time. I don't think he like me very much..." He paused once more, wanting to say more.

"And...I think you very beautiful..." An uncomfortable silence fell over them when he said this. Shelley couldn't help blushing, but she tried to hide it by looking down and letting her hair fall over her face.

"...You only needed to say one,"she finally mumbled, her face burning hot.

"Oh...sorry."

"Um...it's okay,"she laughed, "Thank you..."

"Well...then you tell me one more. Then we be equal,"he said.

"Okay...,"she said, thinking for a moment, then lifting her head and whispering softly, "Um...I thought it was really sweet of you to ask to hold my hand. It was really cute. Most guys wouldn't do that...I mean, they wouldn't think to ask if it was okay.." Edgar could feel every nerve in his body tingle with happiness. Beaming, he slowly raised his head and met her gaze.

"...Can I tell one more?"he asked suddenly.

"Um...okay, sure,"she said, smiling. He paused, looking embarrassedly down at his hands before slowly lifting his head to face her. He was about to say it, to tell her he loved her, that she was all he thought about, but he couldn't do it.

"I never have friend before..,"he said instead, "But...I think you best friend I ever have..." Shelley stared at him for a moment, unable to think of anything to say. She thought of all the friends she had forgotten, all the relationships that she had let die away over the years. Edgar would have gladly been thrilled to just not have to be alone all the time.

"...That really sucks,"she finally said, looking awkwardly down at her hands, "Well...I'm really glad I'm your friend, Edgar."

"Was...that a secret?"he asked.

"No,"she laughed, shaking her head, "You can have that one for free."

They talked for over an hour, just sitting there on Edgar's bed, laughing and talking about nothing. Edgar had never been happier. He would watch Shelley's face light up with laughter, and he thought he had never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

"Whoa, it's really late,"she said, looking at the clock behind her, "I guess we probably should get to bed. We lost a lot of sleep from this morning."

"Okay,"Edgar said, disappointed. He led to the door, walking slowly.

"Thank you for everything, Shelley,"he said, smiling innocently.

"It was nothing,"she said, smiling widely, "I know you didn't like sneaking out, Edgar, but I'm really glad we did this. That was really fun." He felt like he could simply melt as she leaned in and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him. He closed his eyes and hugged her back. When they broke apart, he slowly leaned in and gently kissed her forehead; the only other way he knew how to show affection. Shelley gave him a peculiar look.

"No, like this,"she said without thinking, leaning in and kissing his cheek. Edgar felt his face burn red, and he quickly looked down, surprised but happy.

"W-What's that called?"he asked slowly, peering up at her.

"A kiss?"she asked.

"I...I not know word for it,"he mumbled embarrassedly.

"It's just a way to show your affection to someone,"she explained gently, "You know, how like Mom does to show she loves us." Edgar stared at her, uncomprehending. Then what had that kiss meant? What was she trying to tell him?...

"Well...night, then,"she said, smiling and waving at him one last time.

"...Goodnight,"he answered, weakly raising a hand and waving back. She hovered in the doorway for a mere second, carefully tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, and quietly went back upstairs.

Edgar could only stand there in the center of the room for a moment, touching the spot where Shelley had kissed him, trying to remember the feeling of her lips on his skin and burn it into his memory. He closed his eyes, breathing in the sweet scent of her perfume still wavering faintly in the air, letting his heart swell with love. Until now, he had never felt capable of being loved back by someone as beautiful and amazing as Shelley Parker. But now, with the faint imprint of her kiss still on his cheek, and the memory of her bright, loving smile, he felt hopeful for the first time...