Chapter 13

Hermione opened her eyes and smiled at Ginny.

'Hi.'

'Hi, 'Mione. How are you today? I talked to your Healer just now and he said that you can check out today.'

She grinned, he had already told her that and she was glad. She had seen enough of the hospital to last her a life time.

'I'm just going to visit with Fleur and the baby and I'll see you in an hour?'

Fleur had delivered a beautiful baby boy, called Dominique, and was at the maternity ward. Hermione had briefly visited yesterday and she had to agree with Ginny that the baby was lovely. Noisy, but lovely.

She got out of bed and walked over to the closet to start packing her things in order for her to be ready for when Ginny returned. The healer had agreed to letting her out of the hospital, on the condition that she wouldn't be on her own. So she was staying at the Potters for the time being and she would be checking in with Healer Stellaris every week.

The door behind her was pushed open again.

'Really, Ginny, did Fleur kick you out again? You know you shouldn't anger a new mum!' Giggling she turned around and stumbled back into the closet door.

'Hi, Hermione.' His voice sounded like she remembered. It sounded like velvet.

She turned back around. 'I don't want to see you,' she told him.

'I know.'

'What on earth are you doing here, Malfoy?'

He sighed and she heard him sit down in the chair next to her bed. 'Because I need-'

'You need! YOU NEED!' she bellowed as she turned to face him. 'You know what I need, Draco? I need to rehabilitate for another month, on top of the three I've already spent in this hospital. And if that wasn't enough, I also need to mend my heart. The heart that you broke into a thousand little pieces with your lies and games. And let me tell you what I don't need, Draco! I don't need your petty excuses! I don't need to hear your side of the story and I don't need you getting my friends to side with you!' She was furious and her heart was beating like crazy.

She saw him slump in the chair with his head leaning in his hands.

'I know, Hermione. I know what I have done to you. But believe me, I never meant you harm. Delphine...what I had with Delphine was just -'

'Part of the investigation. I know! But that doesn't make it any better!'

'You have to believe me, Hermione. Trust me when I tell you that I had to do anything to make sure that they wouldn't succeed. Anything-'

'Even whore yourself out to that, that-'

'Inbred low-life?'

'Yes, inbred low-life. That is just utter bollocks and you know it! According to Harry not even he knew about how you had weaselled - or should I say ferreted - your way into that club of freaks?'

'I had no choice! I had tried everything else, trust me-'

She laughed at that remark. 'Trust you? Trust you! There is always another way, Draco.' She threw her hands up in exasperation. 'Gods, you're just like your father! Always taking the easy way out of things and no matter the pain and the suffering and the anguish you cause!' She stalked over to where he stood.

He shot up from his chair with such speed that she had to take some steps back.

'You sanctimonious little bitch. Tell me, what do you know about pain and about suffering? You know nothing!' He roared.

'I know enough, I know because you taught me! You and the rest of your little Death Eaters wannabe club at Hogwarts. Don't pretend you're something you're not, Malfoy!' she spat. 'You tortured me for years and you have killed and you have wounded. Don't you dare play innocent. You even killed Dumbledore!'

'I did not kill him!' he screeched in despair, pulling at his hair.

'Yes, you did! Because you were a coward. Gods, you disgust me. What a disappointment you must have been to Death Eater daddy! Oh no, wait, he was already in Azkaban, because he couldn't succeed either. How did it feel, to know you were just like your father?' She was seeing red and all the pent up frustration, anger and fear made her lash out at him.

He laughed darkly and he looked as icy as ever.

'And there you go again, always judging! Gods, you're magnificent in you righteousness, aren't you? You know it all! Well, I have got news for you Granger. The fact that you've read almost all the books in the wizarding world does not mean you're an expert on everything! Especially not on ME!' He walked up to her and stood with his nose against hers. 'You have no idea how my childhood was,' he growled. 'What I had to suffer and how I was tortured from an early age, at the hands of my own father. You have no idea how it is to grow up in a world that teaches you that you, Granger, are filth.' He pointed his finger at her. 'Your parents, your family, their friends, your friends, they all say the same. All of them! But then you come along and Thomas and all of you whom I have learned are worthless, beneath me and it was bloody confusing! And that is without taking in consideration the influence of the House I grew up in at Hogwarts. A house completely in the claws of a madman. But that is all you know, so you believe it.' His pacing through her room stopped at the window and he placed his hands on the sill and continued to speak in a softer voice. 'As the years pass, you see Harry - a half-blood-, Weasley – a blood traitor – and you – the Mudblood - getting praised at every turn. You see them excelling in everything they do. Do you have any idea how many belts were taken to my hide because I came second to a Mudblood for years, Hermione?'

She gulped at this statement.

'But finally, you get the chance to make your father proud of you and to make him forget all your mistakes and every time you failed and you feel proud to at the task set before you. At first. But then you start to think and for the first time in your life you really think about things and you decide that he is wrong. The sociopathic manic your father worships is wrong! But hey, what do you know? There is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, because that maniac has your mother in his claws and he will kill her if you fail. You're the one who keeps her alive. It is all on your neck! Headmaster or your mother. Headmaster or your mother. What would you choose, Granger? Because that is the choice I had to make, as a sixteen year old boy and I had to do so without any friends to help me and no teachers to protect me. Just a scared to shit sixteen year old!

Tears streamed across Hermione's cheeks. She stretched her hand to reach him, the broken man standing in front of the window. She wanted to touch him and hold him or to do something. 'Draco, I didn't know, I never -'

He swooped around to face her. His face blotched and his eyes red from crying. 'No, you didn't know. But that never kept you from condemning and from being an ice queen to all-'

'Ice Queen,' she shrieked, backing away from him. 'I was always there for-'

'Yes, for your precious Gryffindors or for those you deemed worthy. But did you ever wonder why no boy wanted to come close to you at Hogwarts, Granger? He smiled viscously. 'No? And don't kid yourself with the idea that nothing happened at Hogwarts, I mean, come on, it was almost a non stop fuck fest for the rest of us.'

Memories of Ron and Lavender, sneaking off to dark places, slipped into Hermione's mind. She remembered Harry and Ginny, coming into the common room with flushed faces. Padma and Parvati whispering about boys in the great hall. She knew he was telling the truth.

Draco wasn't finished as he kept staring at her. 'They didn't want anything to do with a frigid, over-ambitious and sexless girl. A girl who would lecture them on everything! A girl who would tell them what to do and what not. They just wanted a warm body, a smile and some softness. But you couldn't do that, could you now? No...Little Miss Perfect Hermione Granger had an image to uphold and she still does. And the whole world has to adhere to those standards, never mind how ridiculous they are. Upstanding citizen of the century! Ha!' He looked her straight into the eyes.

'I spend all of my Hogwarts years breaking rules, Draco!' she countered feebly.

'But that was all for the greater good, wasn't it, Hermione? You could convince yourself of those transgressions being necessary. Those weren't risk, not in your mind, those were calculated actions. And, let's face it Hermione, ninety percent of the mischief you got yourself into was caused by your controlling and admonishing nature and your compulsion at keeping the bumbling duo out of trouble. And there we have it don't we, Hermione? You don't live and you don't risk and you don't love. You...you control! You want to control everything and when you saw that control slipping away, with Weasley and even with Stone, you locked yourself away in the dungeons and hid behind your career. Gods, woman, you wont even admit to yourself that you have a wild side, a sexy side and that you love breaking rules. No wonder Weasley and Stone left you!'

She stared at the man who had just analysed her to the core. She felt her chin and jaw tremble as she tried to keep herself from collapsing into tears and her breathing became more difficult with every second that passed. What was she to do now? What could she say to him? She closed her eyes for a minute and she tried to collect herself, but when she opened her eyes again he was gone.

Draco stretched his legs under Potter's desk. 'So, has she cracked yet?'

Harry shook his head. 'No, I think I'm going to petition the Wizagamot for the use of Veritaserum.'

'I think that will be for the best. How did she react to her failure to distribute the poison? Or to the fact that we had already devised a antidote?'

Harry chuckled. 'She was livid.'

'Good!' He took another sip of his Firewhiskey.

'How is she doing?'

'Her body is improving. Slowly.'

'Good.'

'she's miserable, though.'

'So am I.'

'Why don't you talk to her?'

'She won't listen to me, Potter.'

'How do you know that?'

'Because I already tried.' He sighed. 'Believe me, I tried, but I cocked up.'

'What do you mean, you cocked up?'

'What do you think that means, Potter? he sneered.

'Oi, don't you go all arrogant on me, Malfoy! I know you love her, remember!'

'I remember.'

'Care to tell me how that happened anyhow?' Potter enquired.

'Fuck, Potter, I have no idea at all! I hadn't seen her in...for ever.' Frustrated at his own feelings he ran his fingers through his hair and he looked out of the window. 'But she just...gets to me. She gets under my skin.'

'She tends to do that. But that still doesn't explain why you feel you've cocked up.'

'I know I have. I...told her stuff. Bad stuff...about my childhood. But also about herself.'

'Let me guess. You let your Malfoy analyses loose on her. 'He smirked.

He nodded. 'So now do you understand?'

'I do. But I also know Hermione. Be patient, Draco.'

From her spot at the top of the stairs she once again sat to wait for Draco Malfoy to leave as she had been doing for the past month. Every time he came to visit Harry, to talk about the investigation, she would hide upstairs.

After he had left her alone in her room at St. Mungo's she had stood there for a long time, just staring out of the window at the London skyline. When Ginny had come back from the maternity ward, she had still been standing there, cramped and all cried out and feeling if she would fall apart if she would move. She felt as if she aged ten years in the last hour.

Of course she hadn't and Ginny had taken her to her home by Floo. The first days of her stay at the Potters she had kept to her room most of the time, rerunning all Draco had said to her and she had come to the conclusion that he was right about her. She was bossy and sanctimonious and she was a know-it-all, like Professor Snape had called her, all those years ago.

She did chase people away from her, look at her pathetic track record with relationships. Hell, she even managed to chase her parents away. Her parents, who decided to stay in Australia after she restored their memories. They had been so angry, so angry with her for what she had done. Without their consent and without their knowledge and. She just did what she thought was right, because she was Hermione Granger and she knew bes!.

The same attitude that she had towards Harry and Ron - even Ginny. Everyone! He was right! Malfoy was right! She was a control freak! She even had to control herself. She felt the tears stream down her face again as she sat there waiting for him to leave.

She also had to face the fact that she had been all wrong about him. She had spent many hours crying on Ginny's lap as she had poured her heart out about all that had happened and all that she was feeling. How wrong she had been, in her judgement of him. He had given her a peek into his childhood and she had been shocked to the bone. His questions were valid. What would she have done? How would she have looked at Muggleborn's, if all she had learned was to hate them? If she had had no other information than the propaganda that only confirmed what everybody already told her?

Had she ever taken the time to see were he was coming from? Maybe not at Hogwarts, but afterwards, when he had been an Order member. Why had she thought she knew better? She knew Malfoy and she did not have to depend on other's opinions, because she knew better. She knew him! She knew...like always, what was best. Gods, she was so arrogant!

Finally it was safe for her to go downstairs. She found Ginny in the kitchen as she was cooking dinner.

'Do you need some help?'

'Nah. Just take a seat at the table,' Ginny said. 'Harry told me they are going to petition for the use of Veritaserum for that Palindrône hag.'

She fumbled with the table cloth. 'That would be good. That will mean they can start rounding up the investigation soon.'

'Yes. I have to say, I – for one – will be glad when they do. Harry is burning the candle at both ends for a while now and it's becoming to much. And as for Draco, he is looking like...' She turned to look at Hermione. 'He is looking like death warmed over, Hermione.'

'Oh?' Even in her ears this sounded rather lacking.

'Yes, well, it does help him to get in to his role of grieving at the capture of his almost fiancée. The Neo Death Eater's are furious and that is not helping their strategical thinking.'

'That's good.'

Ginny smiled happily back at Harry as he complimented her cooking.

'Mom has given me the family cookbook on loan.'

'She has?'Harry sounded as surprised as she was, Molly never ever parted with that book.

'Yes, she said I needed it to take better care of Harry. She's even invited as all to come to the Burrow on Sunday. To fatten us up.' Ginny laughed.

As she sat on the swing that hung from the old apple tree, she watched the Weasley children and grandchildren run around. She could see Ron, who was there with Shanna. Shanna, who had apologised to her so many times for what she had said that Hermione was positive that she could lip sync it by now. She could see Fleur and Bill sitting at the table, with Victoire and baby Dominique. The rest of the people were a blur of read hair and coloured clothing and she couldn't distinguish one from the other.

Molly had welcomed her with open arms and had told her that she was far too skinny. She hadn't agreed, because compared to three weeks ago, when she had just left the hospital, she had gained almost a stone. But Molly begged to differ and had tried to stuff her full of pastries and sweets all day long. That was why she was now hiding out on the swing.

'Do you need someone to push?' Harry went to stand behind her and she grinned.

'Why not?'

'You know, I really do think he loves you, Hermione?'

She frowned. 'What do you mean? Who really loves me?' That miserable bugger, he made sure she couldn't escape and then started on that subject.

'Don't act ignorant! You know who I'm speaking of! And although I have to admit that his whole sulking demeanour is working brilliantly with his cover in France, I want it to stop.'

'And what would you have me do, Harry? You say he loves me and I say he hates me!'

'What ever gave you that idea?'

Try the speech he gave me on the day I was checking out of hospital. 'I just know, Harry.'

Abruptly Harry stopped the swing and he almost made her topple right of. He went to stand right in front of her.

'Now you listen to me and listen good! I'm breaking a promise here by telling you this, but this can't go on. How much do you know about Malfoy's childhood?'

'Some. He told me some things.'

'Well, believe me when I say that he probably just skimmed at what he had to endure growing up. Hell, it even makes my life with the Dursley's sound like an all-inclusive holiday.'

She nodded knowingly since she had already figured that herself.

'At sixteen he was given a choice. Kill the headmaster or we will kill your parents. Sixteen, Hermione and he had to murder of be orphaned! I have no idea what I would have done in that situation and I don't even want to consider what that must have been like to go through. But he went through it and he made an adult decision at great risk. He became a double agent at sixteen, Hermione. He was made a full Order member well before any of us were allowed to. He worked with Snape, at Dumbledore's orders, to assisinate him!'

She gasped, she hadn't known that.

'I didn't know until I sat down with him and we talked. Really talked about all the crap he had been fed growing up and the whole pure-blood philosophy. During those talks we found out that we were not that different from each other. We fought, side by side, countless times. You did too.'

'No. I only saw him two times. At the battle of-'

'Hermione, believe me when I say you have. Ever heard of PolyJuice? He had a price on his head. Voldemort wanted him dead as much as me. He couldn't just go outside.'

'But what about his Mark? Wasn't he summoned?

'Have you ever seen it on him?' She shook her head. 'That's because he hasn't got one! Him and Snape managed to convince Voldemort that it was to early and that they should wait for him to be legally an adult. And when that time came, he just disappeared of the grid.'

This was almost to much information for her to take in . Her mind was reeling and she knew there was more to come yet.

'When Voldemort fell and we weren't able to catch all of the Death Eaters, we knew that one day they would gain enough strength to come back. We knew that Draco was to be our secret weapon, so he took his Auror training, like the rest of us and simultaneously took the position of director of Malfoy Enterprises. For the past years we have been hunting the Neo Death Eaters and trying to infiltrate their organisation. We tried every trick in the book and nothing worked. Until-'

'Until Draco seduced Delphine.'

'Precisely. Draco had profiled all the known members and their family. From our research Delphine came out as airhead pure-blood débutante with a penchant for handsome and rich men. Draco decided to set himself up as bait even before you were in the picture as team member. At the time you were still dating Stone. There was just one person who knew, Mr Fonst, my predecessor.'

'That is why he staid on the case after his retirement?'

'Yes, and because he has a lot of knowledge and experience and we needed both.'

Harry was gently pushing the swing again.

'All was going well, from what I have now discovered, until Draco tried to keep more of a distance to her when he started working with you. This coincided with his acceptance within the organisation and he could cover his distancing with his tasks in England. But unfortunately it now seems that our intelligence concerning Delphine wasn't completely accurate, as you know. She was knee-deep into the organisation and she's their resident Potions brewer. We still don't know how exactly she managed to discover you and Malfoy, but we hope to get those answers next week, if the Wizengamot agrees.'

'Ginny told me about the Veratiserum.'

'Another thing we didn't know, was that she's also extremely paranoid and possessive, but I think you know that out of first hand experience.'

They were silent for a time and Hermione watched the Weasley's zip in and out of her scope as the swing took her higher every time. Eventually Harry let the swing get back to a slower pace.

'Did you know he sent a corporal patronus to tell us where you were. A wandless patronus while he was mere minutes away from dying of bleeding out?'

She hadn't known. She recollected very little from what happened after Delphine had forced her to drink the poison.

'That is why I know he loves you, Hermione.'

She turned around on the swing seat. 'What do you mean? Because he saved me?'

'That is for you to find out, Hermione. Just trust me.' He kissed her forehead and walked back to the house.

A little tawny Owl pecked at Draco's window and he recognised it as one of Potters owls. He fed it a piece of cold bacon he kept in a bowl for precisely that reason.

It was a message from Potter. "Impromptu Quidditch match at the Burrow. Come over or I'll come and get you," it read.

He smirked. Why not? It took him five minutes to change into his Quidditch clothes before he walked towards the Floo. He dropped a handful of green powder into the hearth and shouted The Burrow at the top of his lungs.

Stepping outside of the kitchen he was confronted with an army of readheads. He hadn't expected they whole family to be present, just the guys. He looked around, but only seeing red everywhere he concluded Hermione had staid at Godric's Hollow.

He grinned at Ginny and let Mrs Weasley kiss him and tell him he was too thin and she would fatten him up after the game. Harry smacked him on the back and offered him a butterbeer.

He dropped in one of the lawn chairs an hour later, sweaty and thirsty. The small children were still running around like crazy and those little buggers didn't seem to have even one off button between them. Mrs Weasley was pleading with the adults to find something to occupy the smaller children with and that way ensure they would be calmed down in time for diner.

'I know how to get those little monsters entertained,' Harry exclaimed. 'We will show them our patronusses!'

They all agreed and soon animals in all shapes and sizes were frolicking around the garden. After Harry had told the children the scary story about his confrontation with a small army of Dementors he turned to him.

'Come on, Malfoy, it's your turn now.' Harry pushed him.

Draco took out his wand and closed his eyes as he pictured his happiest thought and shouted the incantation Expectro Patronum! He felt the magic crackle as his little messenger leapt out of his wand.

Behind him he could hear a very familiar voice catch. Turning around he could see a thin, curly haired woman run into the cornfield. He turned back to look at Potter.

'Go!' he mouthed and he did.

She knew because of the rustling of the ears of corn that he had caught her. With her eyes closed she turned around to face him.

'Why did you run away?' he questioned.

'I saw!' she explained, still keeping her eyes and head down.

His hand cupped her chin and he tilted it up 'What did you see?'

Her skin was tingling were he touched her. 'I saw your patronus.'

'And, that is a reason to run away?'

'It has changed!' She was looking into his eyes, those grey windows to his soul. 'It's no longer a dragon.'

'I've noticed,' he smirked.

'But that's not possible!'

'Why not, Granger?'

She felt the blood rise to her cheeks and she just wanted to run away and hide from him and his staring eyes.

'Why not?' he pressed.

'Because you hate me!' Her voice a mere whisper.

He closed his eyes and a grin appeared around his mouth. Slowly he shook his head and she could see the last sun rays catch his silvery hair.

'Hermione,' he groaned and this made a shiver run along her spine. 'Silly girl, you know better than that.'

He was looking at her again and now he brought his other hand to her face. Slowly he stroked her cheeks.

'I love it when you blush.'

His thumbs caressed her lips and she let a breath escape them. 'I love your lips and I love to hear you call my name.'

He looked back to her eyes. 'Hermione. I love you!'

She sat on the swing watching the sun go down. The day had ended very surprisingly. She had been convinced for weeks now that he must hate her after all that he had said to her in the hospital. The worst thing was that he had been completely spot on in his tirade. This had smashed any hope that he would ever think favourably about her again. No matter what Ginny and Harry had said about it.

Seeing his patronus, actually it was her patronus, had thrown her completely off balance. Her first reaction was to run! Run as fast as she could so her heart could get back into her chest and get her nerves to calm down again.

When he had told her he loved her, she had stared at him, dumbfounded. Even after seeing his patronus, she could not believe his words. When the words finally sank in, she had cried. All the tension, the fear and the despair of the last months came out and he had held her in his arms.

He had apologized for everything that had happened and this time she had listened to him. Although she still thought he didn't have to apologize for his harsh words, because they were nothing but the truth.

She knew they were in for a bumpy ride. She had even told him so. Because his confession of loving her did not erase all that had happened.

He walked back from the kitchen where he had been met by a happily grinning Harry and Ginny.

Yes, alright, he was happy. But did they have to be so bloody obvious?

Hermione was waiting for him on the swing near the orchard. She hadn't said that she loved him back, but he knew that in time she would. He was convinced of it, because in the end, a Malfoy always gets what he wants!