13. Her Negotiation (14x24)

Vanessa: You've been doing sex crimes for a very long time, and now you're projecting your anger at others onto an innocent man.
Olivia: Innocent? Did you see the morgue photos of his last defence attorney?
Barba: Olivia.
Olivia: The one that he raped and tortured for 19 hours? She was also convinced of her lover's... - of her client's innocence.
Vanessa: Excuse me?
[...]
Barba: We'll see you in court.
Barba: Lover? Client? Nice freudian slip.
Olivia: It wasn't.
Barba: I got that. It also means she's gonna fight like hell for him.

"Detective." Barba was suddenly standing at my desk, I hadn't even noticed him come inside, "Are you ok?"

"No." I admitted it to him, just as I had to Nick.

"Cragen told me, he gave you two days off."

"Yeah." I smiled grimly, "Lucky me."

"It might help you put your mind in a different place."

"I don't think so." The defeated sigh escaped my lips before I could stop it, "Doesn't it bother you? How Lewis can always get away with things? And just keep on hurting and killing these women without anyone to stop him?"

"We will stop him." He promised now, "He will make a mistake at some point."

"Yeah."

"And it does bother me, that's why I am headed for a bar right now, do you want to come?"

Even if I would never admit it a part of me was glad Cragen had ordered me to come home. I wanted some peace and quiet.

"No, I want to go home, I'll walk you out though."

As we left the squad room I found myself admitting, "I just wish the world would freeze for a moment, so that we could have some time to catch up with him and finally get him."

"I know what you mean."

When we were inside the elevator I said: "You called me Olivia today."

"Yeah." He was glad for the change of topic I could tell by how a small smile formed on his face, "It was kind of in the heat of the moment."

"I like it." Too late did I realise what I had just said, so I quickly added, "I was beginning to think you really thought my first name was Detective."

He laughed now, but did not offer me his first name, which was fine with me.

"Whose Yacht were you on that Sunday, by the way?" This question had been in the back of my head for a long time and now I finally felt like I could ask him.

"Mine." He said, "But I couldn't say that in front of the whole Squad or they'd expect me to invite them."

I raised my eyebrows now, "You have a Yacht?"

"No it was the DA's and it was so boring I seriously contemplated jumping off board, but the food was pretty good." He smiled now, "Don't tell Rollins, but I was actually glad she got me out of there."

"I won't."

When we reached the parking lot he said, "Are you sure you don't want to come along?"

I looked into his questioning, dare I say begging, eyes and thought about doing it. Forgetting all about Lewis and the stress and grief he had caused me and just spend another evening with Barba. It was funny how we had become friends. When I thought back to when we had first met I never would have thought we would reach this point where we were this team inside a team. I could hang out with Fin in Bars, talk to Nick about my mother and be there for Amanda, when she needed me. And of course there were John and Cragen, who felt like a brother and a father to me. Yet, my friendship with Barba was something unique, because he couldn't hang out with the others like I could. He was dependant on me and that made me feel good.

"No, I just want a quiet night at home."

Just because something felt good, didn't mean that it was good.

He didn't look happy, "I'll pay for your drinks."

"I'm a big girl Counsellor, I'll be alright. I'll be back to new in two days. It's amazing what sleep can do. I promise you: the next time you see me I'll be a whole different person."

Barba smiled, "Alright, I won't ask you a third time. Goodnight, De- Olivia."

The smiles this man brought to my face were beginning to get embarrassing, "Night Barba."

When I entered the flat, Lewis was far from my mind. I would have a peaceful evening and yet part of me regretted not having gone with Barba. We had a way of distracting one another from horrible cases, of communicating without many words. It would have done me good.

A sound from the living room made me turn around,

"Hello?"

"Welcome home, Detective Benson." There he stood, his gun was pointing at me. And just like that my entire world froze.

I love this episode. Next up is one last chapter, a small extra for you guys ;-) Thanks for all your reviews and messages, as always they are very encouraging and helpful. Tell me what you think of this chapter please! :)

Andreyna Sousa: Thank you for your review :)