Emil was getting lazy. Lazy and frustrated. It must have been 3 weeks now, maybe even a month. Even slicing me up wasn't producing the results he wanted and that's enough to frustrate even the most patient of men. Day by day I would be moved less from the table. After he was done for the day the guards would come and splash me with some water before leaving. The young boy didn't always come to record the sessions but on the days that he did we would talk afterwords. I was slowly formulating a plan of my own, since it didn't seem likely that anyone else would be coming to save me soon.
It was a special treat when Emil would have me moved back into the other room and shackled to the floor. At least here I could move my limbs around. My mind screams at me about how wrong it is that I find happiness from being shackled and beaten, but I command it to shut up. There is nothing pleasant about the experience but the slight freedom I get from being able to touch my own face is enough reason for me to be happy about something. Any place I can find happiness I will find happiness. Giving into the darkness isn't going to help me escape.
Today apparently is one of the special ones. Emil slams the door open, the metal screeches against the concrete and I flinch away from the sound. There's two sets of footsteps which means that the boy came today. Emil is uncharacteristically silent today, walking right up to his tools and skimming his fingers over each other in thought. I consider being quiet and waiting for him to say something but that thought is discarded quickly. I clear my throat loudly and I can see Emil tensing up.
"What, no snarky comments today? I don't even get a hello?" The voice in my head tells me to shut up. It chastises me for taunting the guy torturing me, but I ignore it. I ignore it like I've ignored everything else it's said. Yeah, it probably would save me a lot of pain but that's not what matters now. He can carve my body up, riddle it with bruises and burns, none of that matters. He doesn't care about my body, he wants to rule my mind. If I want to get my life back after all this is over then I'm going to need my god damn stubborn ass personality and that's the one thing I refuse to let him damage.
"Come on Emil, cat got your tongue?" I push, mocking him with a small laugh afterwords. I can hear his breathing increase. The muscles in his jaw clench and unclench in anger. I feel a smirk sneak it's way onto my face. "Are you giving up so soon?" My internal voice screams at me. Please, just shut up! SHUT UP! This time I give into it's pleas. I might be stupid but I'm not that stupid. I've said enough. I peek over to observe his reaction. Fists clenches, nostrils flared, intense breathing. Emil is livid and as much as it pleases me that I can have that effect on him by saying and doing so little, it also frightens me. The thoughts have crossed my mind more than once.
One fist crashes down onto the metal platter of tools and I flinch away. Across the room I can hear small shuffling footsteps move further away. My mind races with possibilities. Worst case scenario front and center. Is today the day he gets tired of this game? What does that mean for me if the answer is yes? You're such an idiot, do you really have to ask that question? No, but I don't want to think about the answer. It's forced on me anyhow. Is today the day he kills you?
"You really need to learn better manners." Emil laughs. Fully, throaty chuckles fill the room and soon he's doubled over laughing. It does nothing to chase my thoughts away. I'm right to stay weary because the next second he's right there in my face, rage swirling in his eyes. "What's it going to take to break you? Huh? TELL ME!" He's inches from my head and my ears ring from his shouting. I school my face quickly so he can't see how fucking terrified I am.
"I'm not going to break." I hiss, glaring coldly right into his eyes. "Nothing you do is going to break me. You're not going to win this game." I say as calmly as I can, forcing that self satisfied smirk of mine onto my lips. His eyes get impossibly bigger and if I wasn't fearing for my life I would probably laugh at the size of his nostrils. The guttural scream that escapes his throat makes my heart stop. At this point Emil sounds more animal than human and I feel the slightest bit of empathy. His face is ripped from my view as he rears up into a standing position and stomps his way into the other room. His voice is loud and clear as he yells at the guards to get me off that table and chain me in the other room. Only one thought is clear in my mind. One thought repeated over and over until I'm not even sure I'm capable of other thoughts. Is today the day he kills you?
Before today I'm not sure I knew the true definition of terror. Yeah, I had been scared shitless this entire time, but it was never like this. Emil had never been like this. The moment the chains clicked around my ankles and wrists he was right there, but the anger I was expecting was gone. The cocky smirk was missing. I had never seen this look on anyone before and in this moment I wished I never had. His eyes were flat.. so flat and devoid of all emotion, yet it was like being sucked into a black whole. There was nothing. Nothing holding him back..
There was nothing as he ordered a guard to hold my head in place. Nothing as his fists smashed into my face over and over again. Over and over until the impact was more recognizable than my own heartbeat. Nothing as he ripped my head out of the other man' hold by my hair and slammed my head into the concrete beneath me. Nothing as he rebroke every rib. Nothing as he broke my left arm and the bones of my hand. Stomping on them until I wasn't even sure they were still there.
Then it was done. The room was silent except for the wet, ragged sobs forcing their way out of my throat. Then a weight slammed against my chest and his face was right there and it was empty. I wanted to close my eyes or look away but.. it was like they were locked in place. They wouldn't do what I told them. I tried to control the pained whimpers from making their way out into the open, but nothing my body wouldn't follow my commands. I was inside a broken vessel in the middle of a lock down and the system wasn't accepting the override commands. So I watched as a dead smile appeared on his face. I felt his cold hands run over my broken jaw with a feather like touch.
"You all are such fragile creatures. Bodies easily controlled and broken." His voice was soft. Soft. Dead. Nothing. There was nothing. The hand caressed it's way down to the middle of my through, swirling around my adam's apple and then there was something. A spark in his black eyes. The pupils contracted just the slightest, the corner of his lips twitched, the formerly smooth glide of his fingertips skipped.
"Emil." My voice is gargled and broken and it twists the syllables into something so sad that I almost feel myself tearing up because of it. I can feel as my skin drags along his still fingers and I swallow nervously. "Emil." I say again, a bit stronger than the last time. His eyes focus just the slightest but that's all that's needed for him to snap out of it. He blinks and his eyes widen. His face wrinkles in confusion. So much confusion... and something else. He studies me and then it seems to dawn on him and he scrambles off of me, tripping over my legs and his own as he frantically tries to get away. He's scared. Maybe as scared as I was. His mouth falls open in mortification and he quickly covers it to keep any sounds from escaping.
A laugh forces it's way out of my lungs at his reaction. It's not like he hasn't done worse, but that's not what he's afraid of. Emil lost himself. His programming was overwritten and he had no control. Didn't even know what he was doing. I close my eyes and try to fight off the urge to sleep. I need to stay awake and finalize the last bit of my plan. Numbness settles into my limbs and all too quickly and I realize that I'm fighting a losing battle against blissful nothingness. I suppose the plan will just have to wait until I wake up.
"Oh thank god you're awake." I groan at the voice and it chuckles. "I know, I know. We don't have much time though. Emil's having a breakdown or something and the guards have left. I'm not sure how long it'll be before they come back." There are hands on my back and they help me sit up. I let my head fall so that my chin rests on my chest and I take a couple breaths before opening my eyes. The boy smiles softly at me and hold up a cup.
"I was told to look after you, so I brought some food and water. Just in case, you were feeling up to eating a bit." He says shyly, placing the cup near my own hand and pushing a place closer so I could see it.
"Just the water for now, thanks." I reply, trying to meet his eye to express how thankful I really am but he just blushes and picks the water back up. He brings the cup to my lips and tilts it so that a small trickle of water passes my lips and I swallow it down gratefully. After a few seconds he sets the cup back down.
"So, what's the plan?" He asks, folding his hands in his lap. I think over it for a minute and then lock eyes with him.
"I need the key to the cuffs. I can't do much if I'm chained to the floor." He nods in understanding. "Do you know who keeps the keys?"
"The guard that's stationed at your door. Of course, Emil has a copy, but I'm not sure where he keeps it.." I think over this information, trying to formulate how I could get my hands on the guards key. Like I said before, there's not much I can do while being chained down. I regret having to ask this of him, but it seems like the only way..
"I really wish I didn't have to ask this of you..." I start to say. The kid leans in closer and smiles at me weakly. "Do you think you could get your hands on the key?" He looks down at him hands thoughtfully for a few minutes. Finally he bites his lip and looks back at me.
"Yeah, I think I know a couple ways I could get it." He says softly, almost dejectedly. The look in his eyes scares me. I'm about to ask him what ways he's talking about but he holds up his hand to silence me. "Don't worry about me. I'll do whatever I have to if it means that we can both get out of here alive." Determination shines clearly through his words and it reminds me of my own. And if there's one thing I know about myself then it's that if I'm determined to do something, I am the most stubborn son of a bitch you will ever meet. As much as I'd like to talk him out of it, I need to get out of these chains if I want to get the both of us out. So I let it slid and hope that he'll be alright with whatever happens.
I drink the rest of the water and he feeds me some of the food that he brought me. I swallow it slowly while I plan out the rest of our escape. The small fact that I have never seen the outside of this room or the room with the table doesn't really help me much, and I remind myself to go over these details with the boy. My eyes stray to the table a couple feet away from me where I know there are weapons. Knives and knuckle dusters lay there. Emil picks them up from time to time and appraises them. It's likely an intimidation tactic. He's never used them though. But they'll come in handy for me.
One thing bothers me though. Something, possibly avoidable, yet more than likely going to happen. Killing someone. Or more than one person. While I have gotten into quite a few fights (most with Seifer) I have never hurt someone bad enough that they required hospitalization. I never thought that I would need to kill someone. Taking a life... It has never been something I have viewed as heroic. Not as self-defense. Not a solider killing the enemy at war. None of it in heroic. It's sometimes necessary and I don't look down on someone for killing in those situations, but it's no less sad. And I might have to do it.
"Have you heard anything about Seifer?" I question the boy in an attempt to distract myself from those thoughts. At some point I'll have to accept the fact, but it doesn't have to be right now. He jumps at the suddenness of the question and I almost apologize, but his eyes light up some and so I discard the idea.
"Not really, but Emil's been a lot angrier lately. He's tense all the time and he has a lot of the gang on high alert. The only ones who aren't really is me and the few other people he has around you. That's got to mean that they're getting close, right?" His voice expresses his excitement even though I can tell he's trying to control it. I feel excitement and relief bubble in my chest at the news.
"It seems really likely, yeah. How long has that been going on? I mean I've notices Emil's been getting worse for the last couple days.."
"Maybe four or five days." He informs me. They must be really close by now then. But not close enough. Emil's obviously at his limit and he could barge in here any minute and just end me. The escape is still going to happen, but maybe getting out won't be as hard as I thought. If Seifer and whatever gangs are with him are fighting their way in then it won't be as hard to fight my way out. I open my mouth to ask about outside the room when the door screeches open and an unfamiliar guard walks in. His eyes lock on the boy and he speaks quickly.
"Emil wants to see you." He growls out. "Now." The boy tenses at the urgency but nods quickly and sends me an apologetic look. The guard turns and walks back towards the door.
"I'll do what I can." The boy whispers quickly and then they're both gone from the room and the door is banging shut behind them. I stare at the metal door for a long while, mind completely blank. After a while I look away and study the rest on the room. I've spent a lot of time in here and it's not really any different this time around, but any little detail could help my escape so I check out ever crack and corner in the room. I sigh in boredom when I've finished scanning the room for the fourth time. The room is completely quiet and from what I can't hear the hallway is also quiet. I settle in for another day solitude.
The sound of the door scraping the floor as it opens wakes me. I don't sit up right away to see who it is, frankly I care very little unless it's the boy. My eyes stare blankly at the ceiling as footsteps sound their way towards me. They're light and hesitant, unmistakably the boy's. I roll onto my right side a bit so that I can push myself up with my good arm. The boy rushes to help me as soon as he sees that I'm awake. Once I'm sitting comfortably I look at his face and I'm shocked by his split lip and the black eye.
"What happ-" I start to ask but he chooses that moment to shove something in my face. I take it and move it a respectable distance from my face so I can identify it. The key. My attention is back on him in no time and he explains.
"I stole the key and made a copy. That way the guard wouldn't notice that it was missing the next time Emil told him to move you or something. It's why I took so long to get back.."
"That's fine. Thank you." I reach out and ruffle his hair just the slightest but it makes a huge, proud smile appear on his face. The temptation to question him about how he stole it grows, but a part of me doesn't really want to know. And from the look on his face when I started to ask him what happened made it clear that he doesn't want to talk about it anyways.
A scuffling sound draws our attention to the door. There's muffled voices, but they're way too soft to make out any words. Then another set of footsteps approach, their quick pace echoing through the hall and in turn echoing through the room. I direct a questioning glance towards the boy. He shrugs but his eyes are filled with fear.
"What?" I whisper to him, trying to both sound commanding but not at the same time. He seems to shrink into himself as he looks from me to the door and back.
"Those were Emil's footsteps.. I wasn't told to be in here.." He whispers back and I understand perfectly.
"Hurry, go hide in the other room." I tell him and he just stares at me blankly. "Go. Now." This time I don't hold back on the authoritative tone and he scrambles off the floor and towards the other door. It clicks shut just in time for the other door the swing open to reveal Emil. He looks worn out as he turns to the guards and tells them to go help the others. Which means that it's only him and me now. I turn the key around in my hand so that it slips into the lock to the cuff around my right wrist and then I wait. Emil turns back and walks into the room when the guards take off running down the hall.
"Hayner." Emil says in a way of greeting. Even his voice sounds exhausted and I have to remind myself not to feel bad for him. He's the enemy.
"Emil." I greet back, sounding bored. His lip twitches in a failed smile and he walks over to the table with the weapons on it. "You look like shit." I say as I turn the key and the lock clicks open. My voice masks the sound and Emil's only response is a quiet huff of laughter.
"You're really not one to talk." He retorts and it's my turn to laugh. A bang reverberates into the room and my attention is instantly drawn to it. In the distance there's voices and Emil glares toward the open door. He leaves his place by the table to go over and close it softly.
"What's going on out there?" I use the fact that he's turned away from me to my advantage and quickly unlock the cuff on my left wrist. There's some more banging but it's barely audible through the door.
"Well, frankly that's none of your business." Emil answers, turning back to face me and making his way over to the table again. "It'll be too late when they get here." He holds up a long, thin dagger and looks at me from the corner of his eyes. My body freezes up with what he's implying.
"Seifer's here." I state and Emil heaves an exaggerated shrug.
"Doesn't really matter." He's the one that sounds bored now. "He's not going to get what he wants, so it doesn't really matter." Emil walks so he's standing right in front of me, knife in hand. He's smiling sadly. "It really is a shame we didn't have more time."
Before he even lifts the knife I bolt up, digging my right shoulder into his stomach and knocking him back onto the floor. The knife slips from his hand and slides a couple feet away. I quickly bring my right fist down in a calculated hit. His nose crunches under my knuckles and my hand stings like a bitch, but it buys me the time I need to roll off of him and get my hands on the blade. My hand closes around it and I turn so that I'm facing him. He slowly stands before bringing his hand from his nose and looking at the blood. A sadistic smirk paints itself on his face and he laughs.
"Should have let you out to play sooner." He says and starts to move towards me. I stand my ground until he's almost in arms reach. His eyes shoot to my left arm for half a second and I mentally curse him for breaking it. The useless thing hangs limply at my side and is a huge disadvantage but luckily I'm not as stupid as I seem. I dart away from him, placing another couple feet between us. I know that move won't work again, but luckily it won't have to. He turns and advances quicker. I smile at him, making it as cocky as possible. Another couple bangs sound from somewhere in the building, but closer this time and I ignore them. They're my back up so I'm not worried. Emil is though because he tenses up and his attention diverts away from me for just the slightest moment and I leap.
The tackle results in us rolling right up to where the shackles are bolted to the floor and I waste no time reaching over and closing one of the cuffs around Emil's wrist. It locks with no trouble and I can see the anger in his eyes. He knows he's losing, yet he stop fighting. Something shines behind the anger as I bring the knife so that the tip is sitting right above where his heart should be. Then the realization hits me.
"This is all you've really wanted, wasn't it?" I ask, words falling out of my mouth in quiet tufts. Emil's previously hard eyes melt. They melt and I can see him for the first time. The pain and fear and loneliness. He's not hiding anything from me and my body tingles with the knowledge of what I was about to do. "This is all you've wanted for such a long time.. An end.. But you always were too weak to just do it yourself." Shame fills his eyes. Shame and regret. My resolve crumbles and I can feel my hold on the knife loosen. "You've always been too weak and now you're trying to push this on me. But guess what.. I'm not playing your game anymore, Emil. I never was." The door crashes open, filling the room with the terrible metallic screeching. My focus shifts for half a second. Just enough time to hear Seifer yell my name. Just half a second too much to feel Emil's body shift under mine, his free hand closing over mine and pressing down. The blade sinks through skin and muscle. My eyes fall to where the blade planted in his chest. Then they flick to his orange eyes. It might seem cliché but they dim. The life behind them flickers and he grins weakly at me.
"I win." He barely whispers, but I hear him all the same. Time seems to have slowed because it seems like a lifetime before his face relaxes and his hand falls from mine. It feels like weeks before I can move my eyes to his chest. All I can see is the red of his blood. So much red and it coats my hands like dye. Then I'm pulled back into the now. I'm ripped away from his body but it doesn't really matter. I killed him. His blood is on my hands.
"Hayner.." The voice is soft and I want to curl up in it and forget all of this. "Hayner." The person behind the voice presses against the back of my neck.
"Sei.." My own voice shakes too much and gives out. Instead my breath comes out in a rush and the world tilts. I can feel his arms holding me up and as my eyes lose focus and fall shut I can hear him tell me that everything will be alright. That message strikes something in my head and suddenly all I can feel is the warmth radiating off of Seifer's body in waves, lulling me to sleep. And for the first time in god knows how long I let my consciousness go, knowing that I'll be okay when I wake up again.
~Authors Note~
WOOOOOW. Okay, I know I apologize a lot for being late and stuff because I really do feel bad. I like to keep to my promises. So sorry for that I got sick for a couple days. Like really sick and then I had to sort through stuff for school and that pushed the schedule out of the window and seriously this chapter was way longer than I expected it to be so there's that. On the bright side the chapter is super long~ Hahaha... Yeah. Two more chapters and it's all over and done with.