Mary put her book down. Her dreams of wielding a sword on one hand and a rod on the other, were replaced by new ones. The fancy sword was replaced by a spear, tightly held by her left hand whilst a red ribbon lay on her open right hand.

"Bad dream?" Her cousin asked. Mary nodded. "You shouldn't be afraid, he is going to be a good husband. You are living the dream. Even your sister is envious of you."

"Yes, I know." Meg didn't need to remind her of Isabella's fits of jealousy. These had gotten worse in the past two months. Mary's husband was every girl's dream while Isabella's, while wielding enormous power, was still his mother's puppet. Poor her. She didn't feel much pity for her older sister. Pity was something she hated. She reserved pity for the people she loathed. Isabella is my sister but the two of us have always been strangers to one another.

Isabella's ambitions were easy to piece out. She was an open book whom had little control over her desires. Mary on the other hand, was a mystery. Even to herself.

Who knew what she truly wanted? What if Philip was not the key to her happiness but instead, she ended up stuck in a loveless union like her father?

It was useless to fight. Their fate would soon follow and she knew it.

But how to live like that? Knowing that you were meant for pain and regardless how many times you try and the little times you succeed, you would always go back to restart the same cycle. Live, try, succeed, fail, repeat.

It was as if God had chosen her family to entertain him. No! She was going to keep fighting and resisting the violent winds of conformity by unleashing her own winds. She wasn't born a Princess; yet royal blood cursed through her veins. She was the blood of the dragon, the lion's cub. Whatever was thrown at her, she would deal with it and come out triumphant.

"I shudder every time I think about the Chin. Don't laugh. It's true! The size of that thing." Meg made a dramatic gesture. "God Almighty."

"That is not a nice thing to say. The man is no Adonis but he's the most powerful man in Christendom. If he wished, he could obliterate us all."

Now it was Meg's turn to laugh. "He will never be so bold. He is still under mommy dearest's thumb. Every command, he follows like a lost puppy."

"He has no choice." Mary said.

"Don't tell me you feel bad for his Imperial Majesty? He is a fool."

"Correction, he is a tool, not a fool." Mary said. Meg opened her mouth to reply but Mary beat her to it. "You're right, if he wanted, he could kill her, lock her up in some convent and assume power but he never will because he is not stupid. If she were to die, there would be revolts so he has to put up with her."

"That's too much one man can bear. If I were him-"

"But you are not. He sees kingship as his true calling. It is what he was raised to do. If it means enduring endless fits of rage from that shrew, so be it. He's not sentimental, ambition is what drives him. My aunt knows this, it's why she both likes and distrusts him. Were he a boot licker, desperate for love like Ferdinand, she'd hate him. The way you described him earlier, that is how his brother is."

"Another victim of the mad Queen's greed. I feel sad just thinking about him now that you told me this. Always cheerful, expecting her approval and getting nothing in return for his love." Meg said, not feeling at all what she expressed.

"That's the way of kings." Mary said with a tone of finality. Were she to continue with this conversation, she would tell her cousin that her aunt was far from mad. It's those around her who perceived her as mad because she was more aware than they were, and exhibited very little emotion.

If my mother were in her place … Mary ventured to think that night after the two cousins changed into their nightgowns. What type of queen would she be?

Her mother was known for her compassion. But she also had a strong character. She wouldn't dismiss her councilors as easily as Juana did. Neither would she fall for their flattery. Her father's councilors found it difficult to convince him when her mother was around. The Princess Dowager never missed anything they said or did. Every gesture, every word was recorded so when they wanted to gaslight their opponents –or her- to get the King dancing to their tune, she played it back.
As Queen regnant, she would behave differently, although not all that differently. She would fool her councilors into thinking she agreed with them, then surprise them. If they rejected her plan, she'd use whatever they said or did in the past against them.

My mother's greatest weapon is the truth. "Truth" –she said –"is what reminds you of who you are. If you embrace its message, you won't listen to naysayers or flatterers whose words will just push you down the cliff."

She was right of course. But truth wasn't always as powerful a weapon to wield against the venomous serpents and hungry wolves in their midst.

Eleanor read the latest batch of poetry written by her husband. Henry did not want to admit that he was inspired by the same influences that had shaped her brother into one of most illustrious princes in Europe. It is a shame that those barbarians in our mother's country do not appreciate his efforts. Her brother had introduced Castiglione's manual to those brutes in the lower regions of Spain and their response was to spit at the boots of their civilized overlords. "My father would have burst out laughing." She sighed. "Plebs. Sheep without shepherd always run amok."

Madge Shelton rolled her eyes. The Queen and her ladies were so invested in what their mistress was saying they didn't notice Madge's mocking gesture. She told Anne all about it when she visited her royal chambers.

"I feel sorry for her. It is hard not to when the only person standing between her and the King still holds the upper hand."

"I hate being with that fat cow."

"You should care for the Queen like you care about yourself, Madge. Think of her as you and all will be well." Anne said curtly.

"It is easy for you to say, cos. You don't have to attend or listen to her every word. It is treason I tell you."

"Hush Madge, even walls these thick have good ears." Anne told her.

Madge needed no reminder. The Queen had her spies, so did the King and her aunt, the Princess Dowager. Court wasn't safe. You couldn't even trust your own shadow. "I miss the good old days when it was just us the Howards, Shelton and the Boleyns."

"Say goodbye to those good old days." Anne said. "We have a chance here to do real change. The Queen can act however she wants and do what she likes. Her time is coming to an end, it is why she is colluding with the King's enemies."

"There shouldn't be a reason why I keep my mouth shut. It's torture. Nobody likes her. Let me return to your service Anne."

Anne gave an exasperated sigh. Good Lord, give me patience. "I told you before, Madge. It's too late for that." She lowered her voice. "You have to start thinking about the big picture. When His Majesty, God willing it doesn't come soon, dies, my husband will have the crown of St. Edward placed upon his head and I shall be crowned his queen. The new King will be different from others before him." Her lips curled up into a big smile. "Everything we have dreamed of will finally come true. We are at the edge of a golden world, Madge."

"But-"

"We are so close." She repeated. She grasped her cousin's large hand. "Think of the possibilities."

Madge nodded. The road back to Windsor was noisy. The Princess of Wales' ladies were chatty. Madge was the only one in her entourage who was silent. She smiled and gave a slight shake of her head whenever they said something amusing or she disagreed with, to keep up appearances.

Anybody who is somebody was watched by another somebody.

"Is this all it will take?" Juana asked Sir Conroy. The man had been loyal to more than three masters; she didn't trust him. The man viewed her as a sorry-excuse for a queen in contrast to her mother who had been worthy of her crown and whose exploits had won her the love and respect of her people.

If they only knew the woman as well as I did. Her mother was a self-righteous hypocrite, a domineering mother and wife whose sins had come back to haunt her in her last days.

"No more, no less. The King of England simply asks that you let him keep the Norman lands that are his by right of his Norman ancestors."

"Yes, yes," she said, waving her hand dismissively, "I do not need a historical lesson. He can have those god-forsaken lands."

Sir Conroy conferred the Queen of Spain's message to Henry. Henry thanked his ambassador to Spain for this glorious news. He relayed them to Katherine who told him the same thing Wolsey did when he read him Juana's response. "You must consider her offer. Give credit to Nor while you are at it, so she won't be swayed by my sister."

He wished it were that easy. "Nor will plot nonetheless. She and her mother think they can buy me with their medicines and France."

"Juana knows that you share her interest in health and alchemy. She and mother have always had a strong interest in science, it's the only thing that the two had in common."

"I do not trust her. What if it is poison?"

"My love, Juana is many things but she is no fool." Although I wish she was. It was one thing to have an envious sister, another thing entirely to be hated by one whose intelligence equalled her envy. "She is not going to risk a civil war she knows Nor can't win."

Katherine was right, but for once, her words didn't bring him any comfort.