Disclaimer: I am not Louise Rennison, however much I want to be. I do not own any of the characters. (Sob.) (And I don't own Harry potter either. Credits to J.K Rowling for the word hufflepuff. And Credit to BBC3 & 'Coming of Age' for the ideas of Dave's parents, of whom are based on Chloe's parents.)

I just own the plot. Anything you remotely recognise doesn't belong to me.

You should know that by now :)

A.N: erm, not sure if I should give this chap a higher rating?

Oh stuff it, if your old enough to read gee nicolson, you're old enough to know what I'm writing about.

hello my most fabulous chums.

Now, I only realised how few Georgia-isms I used in the last chapter when I read it after I published it...

And I was flabbergasted!

So, as an apology, I'm giving you lots of Georgia words, lots of Davey boy, and this is the chapter of Masimo beatings!

Read on my fine fellows.

Sophieee x

Chapter 11: Meet the James'

A ¼ of a second later

"Georgia, cover up your nungas, my olds are back!"

Christ on a bike, this is a situation and a half.

"What should I do Dave? Jump out the window and hope Maisie is at the bottom with a knitted net? Just throw me my dress please?"

"There's no need to get all hufflepuff, just put your clothes on and come downstairs with me. They'd love to meet you."

Sounds ok, what could possibly go wrong?

Half an hour later

What else could possibly go wrong should be the question.

Sitting like a lemon on Dave's sofa having a 'civilized chat' about 'feelings', 'growing up' and 'sudden urges' with his parents.

This must be the most embarrassing 'civilised chat' ever.

Dave has gone this stupid shade of red, but I find it quite cute so I don't really mind.

But the nub of the jist is, they're okay about 'Squidgey Time' as long as we use 'Protection Pete' and don't 'Make the Stork come too early'.

His parents are a bit on the mental side if you get my drift.

They talked to us like we were toddly and drinking milky pops and so forth.

"Um, Mum, Dad, could we maybe… not talk about this? I'm sure Georgia doesn't want to be emotionally scarred by her time here."

Thank-you Dave man for swooping in and saving the day!

"Oh, yes, right. Sorry Love. So, err, Georgia, you're Connie and Bob's daughter, right? I've heard you've got some exciting news about a long lost relative!"

*cough*"Who I've yet to meet." *cough*

Oh shhh Dave.

"Oh, yeah. Uncle Alan. I've heard he's Dave's idol."

Dave has just shot me a look that could kill.

What've I done wrong?

"Haha, I think you've got that mistaken Georgia. David's idol is Albert Einstein, Isn't he sweetie? David's an aspiring scientist. Why would he want to be involved in comedy?"

I've got a feeling Dave isn't all truthful with his parents.

"Could you possibly excuse me and… err… David for a moment?"

We just ran out of the house and started laughing like loons and Dave nearly went to the piddly diddly department in his trousers.

Larks.

It's actually pouring it down now, and my hair has lost all its volumosity.

But Dave's just come up to me, grabbed my face and snogged me to within an inch of my tres excitemundo life.

But it's all romantico and French because it's in the rain.

The only downside is that my knickers are soaked.

10 minutes later

Sitting with Dave on his wall holding hands.

I think we look like The Doctor and Rose from Doctor Who.

Well, if I was blonde.

And Dave was David Tennant.

I wouldn't mind that.

BUT, I love Dave how he is.

"So, Dave. Why tell your parents you want to be a scientist?"

Oh dear, his face has just gone all un-laughish.

"I haven't been all honest with you Georgia. But now I know I can trust you, I can tell you. I didn't always just have 1 sister; I used to have an older brother. Michael, his name was. A bit older than Gemma. Gemma's my sister by the way. Well, he was really smart and wanted to be a scientist. He went to a top university and got a job as a lecturer there when he left. But one day, when he was driving home from work, he swerved to avoid a kitten and crashed though a fence and into a lake. He couldn't make it out of the car in time, and he… you know… died. I felt like I had to make something of my self, in respect of him I guess. But, I want to be a comedian. More than anything. But I couldn't tell my parents that, it would break their hearts. So I just tell them this to make them happy."

"Wow, Dave, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be, it wasn't your fault. And I'm over it now. So, shall we change the conversation?"

"Oh yeah, sure."

I Can't believe he just told me that. The must feel so insecure around his parents, having to be someone he's not.

Dave's mobile's ringing, it's Mabs.

Why not phone me?

Is Dave her new bestie?

"Ok….Yep….Sure….Uh-huh….Music, yeah…. Hmmm, Billy Flynn and Roxy Hart? No? Oh, Tom and Jas….Yeah… Elphaba and Fiyero?... Oh great, thanks allot…. Don't worry…. Frank-n-furter and Columbia it is then…. Okay, I'll tell her. Sure thing. Yup. Okay, Mabs you can shut up now. Bye. Yes, bye."

I'm slightly scared and a tad confused.

"What on Lord Sandra's Vati's earth was that all about David?"

"Mabs is changing the date for her Musicals party."

"Oh, to when?"

"Tomorrow."

Of course.

"Georgia, hide under my jacket, right now."

Ouch! I have just been squished by a squelchy Dave.

"What's wrong Dave?"

"Emma's coming down the road."

Oh Joy.

"Are you okay there? Do you need an umbrella?"

Why oh WHY does she have to be so kind?

We slowly lifted our head up out of the jacket.

"Oh, it's you two."

Hmm, attitude change.

"Nice to see you to Emma. How are things grooving?"

Ha, I love Dave.

"How are things Grooving? HOW ARE THINGS GROOVING? The only thing that's grooving is your bloody brain! How could you choose her over me? You're just another number on a long list of people to her Dave. You mean nothing to her. She's just a tart."

Dave's stood up. I would say there's going to be fisticuffs at dawn but Emma's a ladeeee and that would be slightly strange if not illegal.

"Emma, I'm sorry I had to do this to you, but I love Georgia, and I can't let you talk about her like that. You'll find someone, trust me. I'm just not the right biscuit for you."

Have I told you that I LUUUUUURVE him?

I thought she was just going to walk off but she pushed Dave into me.

Quite forcefully actually.

It's like a mouse turning into the hulk.

But when she pushed him, something fell out of his pocket.

OH GOD, IT'S AN EMPTY…

You know what…

Packet thingy.

Oh come-on, you know what I mean right?

An empty durex packet.

OH YOU DIMWITS!

AN EMPTY CONDOM PACKET.

There. Happy?

He must have got it out ready but when his parent got in, stuffed it back into his pocket.

Eek, Emma's noticed!

"Oh my. What's this then?"

"Ems, it's not what it looks like."

"Really? Because if I'm not mistaken, this is an empty durex packet."

I'm going to have to step in.

"Look Emma. I'm flattered you may still like my boyfriend but, I'm sorry okay? He's with me now. Our business is our business. Just go, please? If you really hate me that much?"

She turned to go, but as she did, she picked up the empty packet and said;

"Just wait till everyone at school finds out about this."

Oh dear.

Oh dear.

Oh dear.

"Umm, Georgia…"

"What Dave?"

"Do you know what we are?"

"No… What?"

"Well and truly screwed."

Great.

"Gee, I should be getting you home."

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea."

10 minutes later

Outside my house with Dave.

"Gee, look, I'm really sorry about earlier."

"Don't worry, I'm sure Emma won't tell everyone."

"I mean before that."

"Oh, yeah."

BIG TIME BLUSH!

"My parents have really bad timing. But, I promise we will soon, and it will be even more special than what it was going to be. I love you loads."

"I love you too Dave."

I smell a snogathon! Well, not literally, but you know what I mean.

He kissed me really gently on the lips, looked me in the eyes and snogged me full frontally.

I've lost track of the time but I think it's been roughly 5 minutes

"I've gotta be going now Kittykat, you know Camels to train, parents to kill and so forth."

He is so funny.

"Okay Hornmeister. Thanks for the ring, I love it. My life partner."

"S'laters Mrs Soon to be Laugh-James."

However much I love him, I still hate the word S'laters.

Tuesday September 20th

6:30am

Do you know what? I don't even remember going to bed.

It must be that fact that I'm so in luuurve.

Or my Vati killed me for coming home so late and now I'm dead?

Either way, I need to wash my hair.

Oo-er, phones ringing!

Who would be phoning at this time?

1 second later

Rushed out of my room,

Down the stairs,

TO THE PHONE!

"Good Morning, the Nicolson residence, Kittykat speaking. Or should I say good evening?"

"Sorry for phoning so early or late… or whatever. It's Tom."

Tom? What does he want?

"What's wrong? If you want Jas, she's not here. Try the woods."

"Gee, it's Dave; he's been in a fight."

Oh My God. Oh My God.

"Oh my gosh, is he hurt?"

"No, luckily. But Masimo is."

Oh thank god. But Masimo?!?

"Wha…What happened?"

"Dave saw him with his… erm… boyfriend, Carlos, when he was walking back from yours. He kind of lost it and punched him in the face. He's got a broken nose."

HAHAHA!

"Do you know what? Serves him right. Just as long as Dave's okay."

"Well, he's a bit angry, that's all. Just thought I'd let you know."

"Thanks Tom, I'll see you in a couple of hours."

"S'laters."

AND IT STILL CEASES TO NOT AGRIVATE ME!

A.N: Well!

Don't ask me where that's come from.

Because I have no clue.

But, I have some sad news coming up.

Some very, shocking sad news.

With a lot of aggers,

But not on the Dave'n'Gee side.

They're strong.

But, I'm going to have to warn you,

It's very, very, very sad.

And you may end up hating me.

But, I'm going to do it,

Because I'm an emotional writer.

AND IM NOT MAKING GEE PREGGERS.

I don't want her too.

She's too young.

So, review please!

I love you all!

Sophie

Xxx

[THANKS TO: Livontheedge, mbmimi, Disco Dancer, ive-gone-all-jelliod, CHAGRIN THIS, weatherwitch.X.x.X., twinlover69lolawesomewriter qwertyuiop098, gossip613, dramaqueen612, Mizz-Emz, xBabimiax, Double Awsomeness with knobs, darcyLoVesmarissa, RoarImAVamp, , mel217, stephbritt and Rosiee Posiee.

You make me smile )