Disclaimer: whatever you want it to be…
"Filthy half breed!" said Dolores Umbridge. She had been called in to be the new defense against the dark arts professor after the last one met an unfortunate accident involving butterbeer, gillyweed, and a rusty spoon. It was supposed to be a good prank is Esmeralda did say so herself.
"Excuse me?" asked Esmeralda. Around them the air grew tenser but Umbridge seemed to be immune. Persephone took cover under the desk and many people followed suit.
"You are an abomination!" said Umbridge. She had been brought in to keep an eye on things at Hogwarts but she monetarily forgot as she was faced the thing she hated most in the entire world; a half breed sitting in her own classroom.
"Yeah! You think so! Say that to my face you toad!" yelled Esmeralda her magic cracking to life around her. Several books seemed to explode. A few Gryffindor's cheered at this but most people were afraid.
"I will have order!" yelled Umbridge bringing her wand out
"I will have order." Mimicked Esmeralda her hands on her hips
"Stop that!" yelled Umbridge. At that everyone seemd to huddle together. Things were exploding and a dragon flew in through the window.
"We ride to Camelot!" yelled Esmeralda waving her sword above her head.
"Be careful, I'm not a toy." Said Her sword. She mounted her horse and the classmates did the same. Umbridge mounted a giant toad and followed suit screaming about order
"We wage war on the werewolf strongholds in Camelot! Then we shall fight King Arthur for the Holy taco!" yelled Esmeralda as their horse began to ride on the back of a giant dragon. Under her flew an army of fey each brandishing a large bloody sword
"Vampiries!" cried Hermione as the heavens themselves opened up and a hord of vampiries flew down at them.
"Sparkling vampiries!" yelled Ron as he was blinding. He fell from his horse on the dragon and was eaten by some vampiries.
"I am their leader Edgar Mullen and this is my girlfriend Bonnie Goose!" said the head vampirie landed in front of them. He blinded them with his sparkling.
"We will destroy you!" yelled Esmeralda pulling a giant glowing sword from her ball gown.
"You misunderstand, we will join your fight against the werewolves to reclaim Camelot!" said Edgar
"And we and my army of snakes shall fight with you." Said Harry as he hissed into the air. Suddenly the earth opened up and thousands of snakes poured out from the depts of hell.
"Grammar Harry." Said Hermione riding a giant pile of books. The was dressed like a librarian with a huge pink sword in her hands. The pages of the books morphed into a fire breathing unicorn and tiny minions.
"We shall away!" yelled Esmeralda as they flew into the swarm of Gargoyles. Suddenly they were at the Eerie building and were joined by some steel clan robots with David Xanathos leading the charge. They flew through the cotton candy forests through the sea of stray thoughts and across the mountain of tallness and slightly cool winds until they reached Camelot.
"I swear on Hogwarts a History that I will fight down to my last book!" yelled Hermione as she was covered in book pages. Suddenly Harry lost all of his clothes and was in a very tight bathing suit.
"Harry, why are you naked?" asked Esmeralda shielding her eyes as all the cute boys out on tight speedos and high leather boots. She looked down and discovered that instead of a call gown she was wearing a tight fur bikini and she had the body of a Swedish super model.
"I don't know, it's your fantasy." Said Harry as he joined the snake kick line as they attacked Camelot.
"No!" cried Esmeralda as Harry was hit by a burning licorice wand. His body fell to the ground with a sickening thud. His body was riddled with partially melted licorice and his hair was turning into candy.
"No, what sort of Black magic is this!" yelled Esmeralda as the battle waged around them. She looked around as everyone's skin began to melt from their bones. Persephone's eyes were melting from their sockets as she began to try and stuff her own organs back into her body. Demons started to rip everyone apart as a river of blood poured from the sky. Esmeralda was only protected because of her fey blood.
"I'm not going to make it!" yelled Harry as his bones began to disintegrate. Suddenly the form of Lord Voldemort stood before them eating his own snake Nagini.
"I will stop you and you're little dog too!" cackled Esmeralda as they were swept up into a tornado. They fought as the winds swept them around and around. The blood turned to grape juice and soon they found themselves on Avalon.
"Esmeralda…Esmerlada…" said the Weird Sisters as they flew in a circle above them. The world it's self seemed to be turning into a strange mix of a slasher movie and a candy shop.
"What is it that you two harpies want? Answer me now or face the consequences!" yelled Esmeralda as she grew fifty feet tall and began to cut them up with her sword. More and more of them came whenever they were chopped up and they pulled out mops and began to clean.
"Why do you feel the need to sleep in my class?" asked the Weird Sister as they began to dance the nutcracker ballet with their mops.
"What?" asked Esmeralda as she played the part of the rat king. They danced and danced as Harry pulled himself together and became Annie.
"I'm not even in this play!" yelled Harry as he found Sandy and began to sing dumb dog.
"I guess some…people…think they know enough to get themselves though the ministry approved text just by sleeping through it." Said a far off voice
"Wake up…wake up…" said a far off voice. Esmeralda opened her eyes and found everyone staring at her as well as several hovering books.
"What's I miss?" asked Esmeralda as she stretched, her back popping with every movement.
"Detention!" yelled Umbridge. Esmeralda sighed and rolled her eyes.
"I miss fantasy." Muttered Esmeralda