They say that washing dishes is therapeutic to some people, they forget their worries and just focus on the task at hand. Cleaning dishes is not like that for Beca Mitchell, especially when she's in the kitchen with Aubrey Posen. The silence gives Beca too much time to think, too much time to get lost and that's the last place she needs to be. Plus there's the looks she gets from Aubrey, like she knows Beca wants to stay, but her heart is conflicted. There were so many decisions to be made and too much on the line, her career being one of them. Standing in front of the fridge she could hear the other girls talking about the press they received when they won Worlds. Aubrey had decided to join them, as she was done washing dishes and they were all put away.
"Come on hobbit, our work here is done." Aubrey waved her hands from the couch for the younger girl to join them. Instead she shrugged her shoulders and said that she was going to shower and that there "better not be any intruders". The Bellas laughed while Chloe hid her face and continued to talk about whatever Amy had brought up - something about dingos, alligators and a blind date. That girl had enough stories to go around the world.
After Becas all too hot shower she decided that it was time for bed, after-all it was 10 o'clock and the time change was really messing with her sleep schedule, not that she had one but it was the thought of being a normal adult that she liked to hold on to. She grabbed her laptop and got in Chloes bed. If she couldn't think of a way to make a decision, she would make music do it for her. She opened her iTunes, which was arranged perfectly for this type of decision making. Alphabetical order, dates of albums released, track numbers and album covers for days. Her idea was to use music as a sort of Magic 8 ball, ask a question and put it on shuffle. Not very adult for her, but if it got her out of making decisions she would try. Whatever song it landed on was what she would decide. She knew that if Aubrey or any of the other girls found out what she was doing they'd flip out. So much for being an adult, right?
"Okay, iTunes. What should I do about the studio situation?" She pressed shuffle and plugged her headphones in, hoping for the best.
Search Your Heart by Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson was the first track that came up. Beca chuckled at the lack of clarity, so far it wasn't going well but she was sure that she'd get a definite answer.
"Well that tells me nothing. How about this one… Should I stay in San Francisco and produce music here?" She closed her eyes and pressed her luck once again.
Electric Love by BORNS. Beca chuckled at the first few notes of the song. While they were walking around this morning she heard Chloe singing it under her breath. Beca found it a few days before Chloe left Atlanta and she hadn't heard it since. She took that as a sign to stay, that's what her heart told her to do but most of the time you can't trust your heart. She heard Chloe telling the girls goodnight and that they would try to behave themselves tonight. Beca shut her laptop and walked over to the desk where Chloe had sat it before. She heard the door open quietly, just in case Beca was asleep and heard a voice she could pick out of a crowded room on fire.
"Oh good, you're not asleep. I was hoping we could talk." Chloe spoke softly and kept her eyes on Beca the entire time. She could read her like a book and most of the time knew exactly what she was thinking. Thankfully she had a few things on her mind as well and she didn't want to stay up all night overthinking while Chloe slept.
"Yeah, me too." Beca watched as Chloe took her sweatshirt off and walked into the bathroom to brush her teeth. She wasn't sure when the conversation would start or where it would go but she wasn't afraid. She wanted things to work out, for once.
"Did you enjoy your day?" Chloe starting washing her face in-between questions and Beca couldn't help but think how beautiful the older girl was. Usually it was the simple things that really caught Becas eye. They way Chloe stood when she was talking to someone, or the way she used her hands when trying to explain her theory on music.
"Yeah, I can see why you like it here." Her tone wasn't very polite but she now understood why the older girl was happy. Why the older girl left and never came back.
"I'd like it more if you stayed. I know that I shouldn't be brutally honest but after dinner tonight and sitting with the girls I started thinking. You could live here with me, you could walk to work every day and produce music like you've always wanted. I know it's not LA but being here without you after we've spent time together isn't something I can handle." The look on Becas face said it all, she was already over thinking but the redhead kept talking. "I know it's a lot but I can't let you fly back to Atlanta without knowing." Chloe was seconds away from crying, but she had to be honest. She held these feelings in for too long and knowing that the love of her life was flying home in 2 days wasn't helping.
"I… Uh…" Beca couldn't think, she just watched as Chloe wiped away tears she was trying to hide and got in bed. The room was quiet and Beca hated the tension she felt. She had no idea what to do, or what to say. When the cobwebs cleared in her mind she finally decided that it was time to speak. "What would happen if I go?" That's not what she planned on saying, the words just fell out of her mouth. She could tell Chloe was shocked and she didn't blame her, since the Bellas flew her out to California to fix things.
"I'm not sure, I don't think we could ever make this work with you on the other side of the country." Chloes voice cracked and she could see the pain on Becas face but the older girl didn't understand why.
"I don't know Chlo. The studio is pretty cool here though, so thanks for taking us." Beca was a pro at avoiding conversations about feelings. She used to tell people that she had a robotic heart because she never showed her emotions. She had music for that, she could find a song that told someone exactly what she was feeling. It was a gift really, but most people didn't appreciate it.
"You're welcome Beca. Can we go to sleep now?" Chloe threw back the comforter where Beca would normally be sleeping. She knew better than to push Beca into actually talking about feelings, it wouldn't get her anywhere. Instead of climbing in bed, Beca threw on a jacket and found her phone.
"I'm going for a walk. I have the to code to your building and I'll take Aubreys key. I'll be back soon." She kissed Chloe on the forehead and walked out of the bedroom before the redhead had a chance to respond. It was almost 11 o'clock, entirely too late for someone like Beca to be roaming the streets. Beca just needed space, away from the Bellas and away from the face Chloe kept making, like someone told her that One Direction broke up. Beca walked down the hallway until she reached the door, all the Bellas were asleep and she was thankful to not be integrated. She walked out of the apartment and slowly closed the door, unsure of where she was heading.
The air was cold and crisp, it occasionally got this way in Atlanta but something about the air felt different. Beca felt different, she now had decisions to make and more than herself to think about. So much pressure on such a small person, that's why this was such a big deal. Hearing Chloe ask her to stay was exactly what she wanted, why she didn't respond was beyond her. She was sure that she loved Chloe, no matter how the last months had been. She had always loved the redhead, she was the only person who got through to her - broke down her walls, supported her music, brought her snacks when she needed them. Chloe fought every day to get past the walls Beca put up and when she did, she was still fighting. To have someone like that in your life who constantly wants to see you be better and support you no matter what, Beca never had someone like that. She started walking towards the recording studio, maybe something along the way would convince her that she was being stupid and that she should run back to Chloe with open arms.
The sidewalks were empty, the roads were quiet and the occasional biker would speed by. She walked past the bookstore that Chloe had some many books from and started to imagine all the things they could do if she stayed. Getting up on Monday mornings to watch Chloe get ready for school, kiss her at the door and then go to work. Text her during the middle of the day because she missed her even though it had only been a few hours, send her photos from the studio and pick up dinner when she was done working. They could come home to each other like they used to, well without the Bellas being there. Saturday mornings they could wake up to have brunch, walk around the city and then go back to their home to listen to vinyl while Chloe graded papers. These were all things Beca wanted, hell she'd trade the last 3 months for all of those things. But was she ready? That's what she was struggling with. She always had this idea of her future, she'd finish college, because after being involved with the Bellas she wanted to stay and then she'd move to LA. She hadn't plan on falling in love with someone who turned her world upside down, she hadn't planned on producing an album in Atlanta with another Bella. LA was her dream, it was her goal and now all of her thoughts surrounded Chloe Beale.
Beca continued walking, she passed the recording studio and a coffee shop. She stopped at a small park and found a bench that overlooked the bay. She could see the ships coming into the bay, the lights from cars on the bridge that never seemed to sleep and lights from the houses surrounding her. She felt at peace, for the moment her heart wasn't conflicted and no decisions needed to be made, she was just there in the moment. She just wished Chloe was with her, although she was pretty sure the redhead was sprawled across the bed taking all of the comforter for herself. She smiled at the picture in her head, that's what she could come home to after late nights recording. Sitting on the bench she came to realize that the moments she passed up on to confess to Chloe how she really felt, were just moments leading her to this one. Where she had to make a decision about her future and her feelings. Future wise she could stay, this studio would put her on the map and artist would come to her just for her to produce their album, for her to put that Mitchell sound on it. Plus LA was only a quick flight away, or she could take a scenic road trip through Big Sur but roadtrips were Chloes thing, not hers. Once again everything came back to Chloe. Feelings wise she knew exactly what she had to do. She had to say. She had to say.
"I have to stay." She was almost shouting at this point. She took out her phone and texted Chloe.
You're probably asleep, but I'm coming home.
She sent the text and instead of walking home, she ran. Past the coffee shop, past the studio and almost halfway up the hill until she had to take a break. She put her cardio on the back-burner after Worlds and could care less that she had to take a break, she just wouldn't tell Aubrey. After she caught her breath she started running again, this time she made it all the way to Chloes apartment. She punched in the code as fast as her cold fingers would allow and ran up the stairs to the door that separated her from the future. She unlocked the door, dropped the key in a bowl and ran down the hallway to the room where a sleepy Chloe awaited her.
"I'm staying. I love you." And that's all she had to say cause what came next was a crushing tackle by a certain redhead who couldn't be happier.