How It Should Have Been

by ficwriterjet

This is my take on what should have happened in season 4 between Angel and Connor. It's a long series that I've been working on for a while, and isn't finished. WARNING: M/M spanking of an adult.

13. Chapter 13

How it should have been - Chapter 13

Wesley woke up to see the sun shining in the bedroom window. He felt a movement beside him and turned to see Lilah stirring next to him. He felt the usual mix of happiness and shame at the sight of her. He pushed the shame away and smiled at her as he brushed the hair away from her face with his hand. She opened her eyes and smiled back at him. She said, "Morning lover."

Wesley kissed her and said, "Morning."

Lilah looked at the clock and said, "I've got to get ready. Mind if I use the shower?"

"Go ahead."

Lilah got up and walked into the bathroom picking up her clothes along the way. Wesley watched her and thought, 'She's really quite beautiful.'

Wesley heard the water start, and he lay there thinking about the night before. On the way home from Angel's hotel he had been thinking about Fred and wondering when she and Gunn were going to be coming home. He thought, 'They've been gone for three days now. I'm sure that means they've resolved their differences. I should be happy for them….I should be, but I can't be. Fred should be mine. Gunn isn't right for her. He never has been. He didn't help her find a way to kill the professor, I did. He didn't understand what she needed to do, I did. Why does she stay with him? What does she see in him?'

By the time he had arrived home, he was very depressed. He opened his apartment door, and saw Lilah sitting on his desk across the room. Since she had used him to get to Lorne, they hadn't slept together, and since that was what their relationship was based on Wesley didn't see the point of her being there.

Lilah said, "Hard day at the office?"

"I've had worse."

Wesley closed the door behind him and said, "What are you doing here?…..And why are you dressed like that?"

Wesley noticed that Lilah had her hair in two braided pig tales. He had never seen her in glasses before, but she was wearing them now. And her clothes were less provocative than usual. She looked like she should be in school. Lilah used a bad southern accent when she said, "Isn't this what you like? A big brain in a tight little…"

Wesley quickly realized Lilah was doing a bad imitation of Fred and interrupted her with "Lilah…"

But not wanting to be stopped yet, Lilah continued with the southern accent and interrupted Wesley with, "Forget that witch Lilah. Let's talk about me. I'm good and pure and science turns me on. And some day if I pray really hard, and eat all my veggies, I might just have hips."

Wesley smiled in spite of himself. He asked her quietly, "Are you quite finished?"

Lilah got off the desk and walked towards him. She said, "Did it turn you on to watch her up there in front of all those brainiacs?

Wesley tried to change the direction of the conversation with, "Her theories deserve attention."

Lilah wouldn't be dissuaded. "Just her theories?"

Lilah walked into Wesley's personal space and said, "I saw the way you looked at her."

Wesley looked away and tried to come up with a convincing way to deny it.

Lilah put her arms around Wesley's neck and said, "Oh come on, do you really think I care about your little crush? Moon over twig girl all you want. I know whose bed you'll be crawling into at the end of the day…"

Lilah kissed Wesley. She came up for air and said, "….or in the afternoon."

Wesley was getting turned on, but wanted to deny it. One side of him wanted to push Lilah out the door, but the other part wanted to pull her to the couch with him. He said, "You think you know me so well?"

Wesley looked at Lilah's face when she said, "Better than she ever will."

Wesley knew she was being completely honest with that sentence, and he knew it was true. Lilah did know more about his dark side than his other friends, and she lusted after him because of it. He thought about Fred and how she didn't love him, and he snapped. He pulled Lilah to him for a crushing possessive kiss. He pulled her with him to the couch still kissing. He sat and pulled her down to straddle his lap. He pushed her skirt all the way up, and started to unbutton his pants. Lilah was smiling with lust and victory as she pulled off the glasses. Wesley stilled and was deadly serious when he said, "Leave them on."

Lilah lost a little of her smile, but put the glasses back on and helped Wesley to get out of his pants.

Wesley's thoughts of last night were interrupted when he heard the water turn off in the bathroom. He rolled out of bed too and gathered up clothes. They had been together often enough to know each other's routines, so while Lilah was fixing her hair and brushing her teeth, Wesley showered. Soon they were both sipping coffee. Lilah looked at her watch and said, "I've got to go."

She put her coffee down and picked up her bag with yesterday's clothes in it. She went to Wesley and gave him a long kiss before going out the door.

Wesley shook his head and said to the empty room, "Not the worst way to start the day."

Wesley finished his coffee and headed to the hotel. When he walked through the front door, he could hear the faint muffled sounds of yelling and smacking. He had heard them before, and wondered what Connor had done this time. Then he saw Gunn standing at the counter reading the paper and drinking some coffee. Gunn looked up and said, "Hi Wes."

Wesley smiled and said, "Good to have you back."

The sounds of the spanking stopped, and both Gunn and Wesley looked in that general direction for a second. Wesley said, "Do you know what he did this time?"

"He snuck out of the hotel around seven this morning and just got back a few minutes ago. I'm not sure what he was doing while he was away, but from the sound of things, it wasn't something he should have been doing."

Wesley nodded and went to the kitchen to get his second cup of coffee for the day. He walked in to see Fred making some toast. She turned and smiled at him. His breath caught in his throat at the rush of feelings seeing her provoked in him. He thought about Lilah, and how her beauty paled in comparison to Fred's. He covered up his feelings as best he could, and smiled back and said, "It's good to see you. How was your trip?"

Fred said, "It was good."

Wesley was afraid to ask, but couldn't help himself. "So did you and Gunn….Are you….?"

"Okay now? Yes."

Wesley felt crushing disappointment, but smiled and said, "Glad to hear it."

He walked over to the coffeepot and poured himself some. He said, "How are you doing Fred? I haven't seen you since…."

Fred buttered the toast that had popped up and said, "Since I came to you looking for a way to kill the professor?"

"Yes."

Fred said, "I'm fine."

Wesley thought that sounded insincere, and tried to make eye contact with her when he said, "Really Fred?"

Fred stopped buttering and looked at Wesley when she said, "No, but…"

Gunn walked in, and both Fred and Wesley tried to look like they weren't having a serious talk. Gunn went to get some more coffee, and purposely stood between Fred and Wesley. Fred, hating the strained silence, said, "Our hotel room was very nice. We were on the fourth floor, and we had an amazing view of the ocean."

All three of them were glad when Angel walked in. Angel looked and felt tired. He said, "Hey Wes, glad you're here. I'll go into more detail later, but it turns out Connor has been going out to see a girl."

The room was silent for a few seconds and then Gunn said, "You mean like a girl….girl?"

"Yeah."

Fred said, "Well, that's…..nice."

Angel said, "I need a little more sleep, and Connor is already asleep. Could one of you wake us in two hours?"

Fred said, "Sure."

Angel said, "Thanks." And headed off to bed.

Fred, Wesley, and Gunn stood there for a few more seconds, and then Lorne came in. He said, "Morning kids. What's up?"

A couple hours later Connor was wolfing down some early lunch while Angel sipped some blood in the kitchen. When Connor was almost done Angel said, "I'm gonna go find Fred and we can talk for just a minute about her meeting Julie tomorrow morning before you start your tutoring."

Connor nodded and took another bite. When Fred got there, Angel said, "Hey Fred, we wanted to ask you a favor."

"Sure."

"I told you that Connor has been seeing a girl right?"

"Yes."

"Well, I wanted to meet her but Connor is a little uncomfortable with that, so I was hoping you could go with Connor and meet her tomorrow morning."

Fred smiled big and said, "I would love to meet her."

Connor cringed at the thought, but still knew it was better than Angel going would be. Angel said, "Then maybe when Connor sees that Julie doesn't run screaming from the room, he'll be more willing to let the rest of us meet her."

Connor said sarcastically, "Very funny Dad. Ha, Ha."

Angel ignored Connor and said to Fred, "Connor usually sees her around 7:30am, so you'll have to get up early."

"That won't be a problem. When Charles and I were away, we got up earlier than we usually do here."

"Good. Okay Connor, you can meet Fred in the lobby at seven, and go out the front door instead of your window."

Connor glared at Angel and said, "Fine. Are we done here?"

"Yep."

Connor got up and went to find Wesley or Gunn. When Fred and Angel were alone he said, "Hey Fred, I didn't want to say anything while Connor was here, but I want you to take a close look at Julie, and ask her some questions about her and Connor. He said that he told her about growing up in Quar-toth, and that he told her about vampires. He said that she believes him, and still likes him. Now that may be true, and if so that's wonderful, but it takes most people a little more than a week to wrap their heads around those concepts. And half the people I've met are so good at denial that they wouldn't believe Connor even if he were to show them proof. I just want to make sure she's for real, and not trying to scam Connor in some way."

Fred said, "I understand, and I'll do my best. I don't want him to get hurt either."

Later that afternoon after tutoring with Gunn, Fred, and Lorne, Connor went to find Wesley. Wesley said, "Hello Connor. No hard feelings about yesterday I hope."

Connor raised his eyebrows and said, "I don't know."

"Well if it helps, I don't hold it against you that you punched me."

Connor did hold it against Wesley that he had shot him with bullets full of paint, so he said, "Okay."

"Angel has asked me to give you a little training with guns today. Just the basics of how to load and unload, and a little practice shooting."

Connor nodded and said, "Yeah, he told me."

Wesley nodded and said, "Okay then let's get going. I'll let Angel know we're on our way."

"Where are we going?"

"My apartment. Some of my guns are not legal, and I wouldn't want us to be looking at them here in the lobby if someone came in looking for help. Then we'll take a couple of the legal guns to the shooting range for some target practice."

Soon they got to Wesley's apartment. Connor was surprised when he walked through the door at how much the place smelled like Lilah. As Wesley was getting out his guns Connor said, "Why do you like her?"

"Who?"

"That lawyer Lilah. The one Dad says is evil."

Wesley frowned and said, "What makes you think that I like her?"

"Your whole apartment smells like her."

"Oh."

They stood in silence for a while. Then Wesley said, "I don't really like her. Well, that's not entirely true. I like her sometimes, and there are some parts of her that I have grown to love, but I don't trust her. And the side of me that she likes I don't usually like in myself."

Connor was confused. He said, "Then why do you spend time with her."

"Because…. I suppose because I'm lonely."

Connor nodded. They stood there in silence for a few minutes while Wesley thought about what he had just said. Connor eventually said, "Should we get started?"

By the end of the afternoon Wesley was confident that Connor knew enough about various guns that he wouldn't have any trouble knowing how to use one, or how to disable one.

That evening things were quiet. Fred had Connor mop the lobby floor for his hour with her, and while he worked she asked him all kinds of questions about Julie. Connor was embarrassed at how happy Fred seemed to be about the whole thing, and he answered her with as few words as possible. Once he was done with Fred, he was dreading finding Gunn and having to go over it all again, but went to find him anyway.

Connor found Gunn watching some baseball on TV. Connor said, "Hey Gunn. I'm done with Fred. What do you want me to do."

Gunn said, "Go wash and wax my truck, and let me know when you're done."

Connor was relieved when Gunn just stayed in front of the TV and didn't come to ask him more embarrassing questions about Julie.

When he was done he found Gunn again. Gunn was now flipping channels. Connor sat next to him and said, "I'm done, and there's still half an hour left."

Gunn said, "Hey, I wanted to tell you that I think it's great that you're seeing someone your own age."

Connor tried not to groan and waited for Gunn to start asking the questions. But to his surprise Gunn said, "If you ever have questions, or want to talk to someone about it, but you're too embarrassed to talk to your Dad, you can come to me. You can ask me anything you like, and I'll be straight with you. And I completely understand if you don't want to talk about it."

Gunn looked over at Connor and saw he had a huge grin on his face. Connor said, "Thanks Gunn."

Gunn turned back to the TV and said, "Sure."

They sat there for a few minutes and then Connor said very quietly, "You know, I've never said so, but I'm glad you're my friend."

Gunn reached over and put an arm around Connor's shoulders and then pulled his head down and towards him and gave him some noogies with the knuckles of his other hand. Connor said, "HEY!"

Gunn laughed and let Connor back up. He said, "It's my turn to make dinner, and since you have a half hour left, that means it's your turn little man."

Connor muttered, "Great." And walked towards the kitchen.

That night Connor went to bed a little early, and as he was getting into bed he heard a knock on the door. Angel came in and said, "I just wanted to say goodnight, and talk to you for a few minutes about Julie."

"Do we have to?"

"I don't mind you seeing her, but I do mind you going off and not telling me. So you'll have to make new arrangements for seeing her. No more leaving to see her when you should be sleeping. Get her phone number, and give her ours so that you can call her and set up times to go see her when you're both awake and not busy."

"Okay."

Angel walked over and gave Connor a hug and said, "Sleep good, and I'll see you in the morning when you get home with Fred."

"Goodnight."

The next morning Fred drove Connor over to see Julie. It actually was slower than when he ran because of traffic. On the way there Connor said, "Julie won't be expecting you, so do you think you could meet us in the coffee shop. You know, to give me a chance to explain."

Fred smiled and said, "Sure. The same coffee shop you were in last time?"

Connor said, "Yeah. I didn't say so before, but I'm sorry that I ditched you that day. I should have stayed with you to see the professor."

Fred patted Connor's knee and said, "You didn't ditch me, I told you it was okay to go. I know Angel told you to protect me, but we didn't know the professor was the bad guy."

Connor looked at Fred and said, "I think Angel and Gunn would say that I should have stayed with you even if you didn't want me to."

Fred laughed and said, "I'm sure you're right."

Fred pulled into the coffee shop parking lot, and said, "I'll see you in a few minutes."

Connor said, "Thanks Fred."

Connor ran to Julie's dorm room and knocked on the door. Julie opened the door and said, "Hi. I'm glad you're here. I was worried you weren't coming."

Connor said, "I came a different way, so I'm a little late."

Julie put her hands around his neck and kissed him. When they were done Connor said, "I need to tell you something."

"Okay."

"I haven't exactly told my dad, or anyone at the hotel that I've been seeing you."

Julie shrugged as if to say 'that's okay with me'. Connor continued, "And yesterday my dad found out I've been seeing you, and well he wanted to meet you."

Julie smiled and said, "That would be nice."

"Maybe we can do that sometime, but for now he wanted one of the group to meet you so I brought Fred with me today."

Julie smiled and bounced up and down a little and said, "The girl from Freddie's website? The one who was missing?"

"Yeah."

"That's so cool. I would love to talk to her. Let's go."

Julie pulled Connor's hand and started them walking towards the bookstore. Connor was a little unhappy that Julie was so excited to see Fred. He wanted Julie to be his friend or maybe more than a friend, but he didn't necessarily want Julie to be friends with everyone in the hotel. On the way Connor said, "Hey, could I ask you a favor?"

"Sure."

"Could you not talk about us going and hunting that vampire."

Julie stopped walking and said, "Why?"

Connor started to get a little red and said, "I would just rather you didn't."

"I don't like to lie Connor, and I'm not used to keeping things to myself. I'll try, but I might slip up."

Connor started them walking again and said, "If it comes out it's okay, I just didn't exactly tell my dad about it, and he wouldn't be happy about it."

"Why? You seemed to know what you were doing."

"Because I brought you, and you could have gotten hurt."

Julie frowned and thought about it the rest of the walk. They arrived at the coffee shop, and they ordered some drinks. Once they got their drinks Connor and Julie went over to the table Fred was at.

Fred had already gotten a coffee, and had been watching them. She noticed right away that they were holding hands when they came in. Fred thought it was cute. When they got to the table Fred smiled and said, "Hi, I'm Fred."

"I'm Julie. It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too."

They all sat there in silence for a minute, and then Fred said, "So Connor tells me that you are studying Philosophy, what classes are you taking?"

Julie told Fred about her classes. Soon Fred realized that when she was going to college there, she had taken a class from one of Julie's favorite professors, and they talked about him for a while. Connor sat there feeling like an outsider while they talked about school.

Then when that subject had been talked out there was a lull in the conversation, and Julie said, "I read all about you and the other girls that disappeared on Freddie's website."

Fred lost her smile. Julie said, "Connor told me all about the dimension he was from. What was yours like?"

"I don't really like to talk about it. It was a nightmare."

Julie looked disappointed but said, "Okay. Sorry if I brought back some bad memories, it's just that all this supernatural stuff is new to me, and I want to learn more."

Fred said, "Most people who hear about other dimensions don't really believe it."

Connor said, "I told you she was there at your lecture. She saw the portal open up."

Fred looked at Julie and said, "Lot's of people saw it, but not very many of them actually believed what their eyes were telling them."

Julie shrugged and said, "I've always believed in the supernatural. It's just exciting to be right."

Fred said, "I suppose I can see that. I mean, when I was younger I never imagined this kind of thing was real, but I think I would have found it exciting if I hadn't learned about it the way I did. Sometimes I still get kind of excited when we see something new, like a demon that hasn't been documented."

"How many kinds have you seen?"

"I don't know….hundreds."

"Wow."

"But vampires are the ones you have to watch out for, because there are so many of them."

Fred noticed that Julie visibly shuddered at the word vampire. Fred continued with, "Connor said that he told you about them."

Julie nodded and looked away. No one said anything for a few seconds, and Fred thought something was off, because Julie had been quite a chatterbox so far. Connor wanting to get the conversation away from vampires said, "Hey Julie, I know I've been meeting you in the mornings, but I can't keep doing that. Because of the work my dad and the other's do we keep odd hours, and usually I don't get up until about ten, so I've been getting pretty tired."

Julie put a hand over his and said, "You should have said something. We don't have to see each other in the morning. I'm usually done with classes around four, so anytime between then and midnight would be good for me."

Connor smiled and said, "Okay. Can I get your phone number so that I can call you and set up a time to go out?"

Julie smiled too and said, "You mean like a date?"

Connor's eyes darted to Fred who smiled and nodded, and Connor said, "Um….I guess."

Julie got a napkin from off the table and got a pen out of her purse. She wrote down her number and gave it to Connor. She said, "Can I have yours too?"

Connor said, "Yeah."

He wrote his on a napkin too, and gave it to her. Then he said, "I guess Fred and I should get going."

Julie smiled and said, "Okay. Do you have time to walk me home like usual?"

"Yes."

Fred said, "It was nice to meet you Julie. You should come by the hotel soon and meet the rest of the group."

"Thanks that would be fun."

Connor rolled his eyes while neither woman was watching. He pulled Julie's hand slightly and said, "Let's go."

Julie and Connor walked back to her room, and on the way Julie talked about how nice Fred was, and how she would like to meet the rest of Connor's friends. When they got to her room Connor leaned down and kissed her for a few minutes before letting her go. When he was done he said, "I'll call you around four tomorrow, and we can make plans for tomorrow night if you want."

Julie gave him another quick kiss and said, "Sounds fun. Maybe we could go to a movie. I love movies."

"Okay."

Connor met Fred back at the coffee shop, and they headed for home. Fred talked about Julie and how she seemed to be a very nice person all the way back to the hotel.

When they got back to the hotel Connor did his tutoring with Fred first since they were both up. Then when Wesley arrived, Connor did tutoring with him while Fred talked to Angel. She gave a glowing report about Julie, and Angel was a little less worried, but still knew he wouldn't be all the way happy until he met her himself.

The rest of the day went pretty normally for Connor. He did his tutoring, and his hours with Fred and Gunn. After dinner he did some training with Angel. While they were practicing some hand to hand combat Angel said, "So, was it horrible to have Fred meet Julie?"

"No, but it wasn't fun either."

"Do you think you could bring her by here to meet the rest of us soon?"

"Well, I don't really want to but Fred invited her, and Julie wants to, so I guess I can bring her by tomorrow after we go out. She asked if it would be like a date…isn't that a sticky fruit? I think I've had some. Why would going out be like fruit?"

Angel was so busy laughing he didn't block Connor's punch, and took a hit in the stomach. Connor was pleased that he got in a punch, but then looked at his dad's face and saw he was laughing too hard to talk. Connor said, "What?"

Angle couldn't talk for a few seconds and finally he said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't laugh, it's just…"

Angel broke down again and laughed some more. Connor got mad. He said, "What's so funny!"

Angel stopped laughing with effort and said, "Sorry. The word date has more than one meaning. There is a fruit called a date, but date also means two people who are attracted to each other going out together to get to know each other better. There's also the date on the calendar."

"I thought about that. Wesley always shows me what the date is on the calendar, but that didn't seem to make sense. I thought it was one of those weird phrases that never seem to make sense when I first hear them. Like 'hold your horses' or 'don't have a cow'."

Angel nodded and said, "You like her a lot don't you?"

Connor had gotten a little more comfortable with the fact that everyone knew about Julie, and that they were going to let him keep seeing her, so he said, "Yeah I do. It's so coincidental that she was there to see Fred when the portal opened. It's like….destiny."

Angel got a vision of Spike saying something similar about Drusila and had to laugh again. Connor was even angrier this time and started to walk up the stairs and away from Angel. Angel said, "I'm sorry Connor. Don't go. I didn't mean to laugh at you, it's just that you sounded a lot like someone I used to know."

Connor having been laughed at twice was not in the mood to open up to Angel any more that night, and kept walking. Angel said, "Connor?"

Angel knew he hadn't been very nice and let him go. Fifteen minutes later Angel went to find Connor in his room doing homework. Angel said, "Hey Connor, I wanted to say I'm sorry again."

"Whatever. It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. It matters because you were opening up to me and I shut you out by laughing. How about if I try and make it up to you by telling you about the person you reminded me of."

Connor gave in and said, "Okay. I guess."

Connor listened to Angel talk for the next two hours about William the Bloody a.k.a. Spike, and some of the less evil things Darla, Angelus, Drusila, and Spike did together back in the day.

When Angel was done Connor asked, "Is Spike still alive?"

"Unfortunately. Still in Sunnydale last I heard. Probably giving Buffy a headache."

"Who's Buffy?"

Angel thought, 'How do I explain to my eighteen-year-old son that I slept with a girl who was barely seventeen? Then I have to explain that I'm still in love with her but can't be with her. Then we have to go into the whole Angelus coming out and trying to kill her thing.'

Angel sighed and said, "It's late. That's a story for another day."