A/N:

I know... I'm a horrible person... So here it is!

Clary POV:

"Okay okay Iz" I huffed as I walked towards a bench. I knew I shouldn't have let her talk me into wearing heels. My feet were dead. Literally, I couldn't walk anymore.

"Yeah, so me and mom are gonna take a break okay?" Alia chimed in as she took a seat next to me on the bench.

"Are you guys joking? We've only hit the first floor of the mall, there's still two more floors!" Blair said as she walked next to her mother who looked at Alia and I impatiently.

"Yeah one floor is enough for me" I smiled as I waved them off.

"Come on Clare, you can't give up now" Izzy pleaded.

"Nope nope, I can and I will. We'll meet up with you guys later" I smiled.

"Fine, just know if there is a super sale I am not gonna tell you guys about it" Izzy spoke sticking out her tongue.

God, she didn't change at all. Still a shopaholic. Still as chic as ever, even more so with her cute little belly. It's crazy how much Blair looks like her, almost identical apart from the eyes. Man, it's been quite a while since I had seen those lightwood genes.

"I'll text you if there's a sale, don't worry" Sera whispered as Izzy and Blair turned to walk away.

"Thanks sweetie" I smiled, she has such a kind heart. She's just like Magnus.

God, I miss them so much. I wonder what it would be like if I had stayed in contact with them. I wonder what it would have been like if I stayed in contact with everyone back in New York.

I must have missed so much. Their weddings, their kid's births, their adoptions… First birthdays… Anniversaries… Weddings…Brides maids…. I never really realized how much of their important life moments that I wouldn't be a part of.

I brought this down on myself. I mean I don't even… no I do know, he did cheat on me, I saw him.

"Mom?" Alia spoke resting a hand on my shoulder pulling me out of my thoughts.

I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts, "I'm sorry what did you say?" I spoke meeting my daughter face.

"Are you okay mom?" She asked looking at me peculiarly.

"Yeah I've just got a lot on my mind" I answered.

"Okay" she spoke grabbing my hands, "Mom I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. It was uncalled for; I know what I was asking for was so selfish. I mean you did so much for me and this is how I repay you. Sure I want that happy family and all but I forgot that I have that right now. With you. Mom I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?" She asked as her eyes began to weld up.

"Sweetie of course I can. You're my daughter, you're my life. I could never stay mad at you" I said as I brought her into my arms.

"I just hope you can forgive me for bringing you into this mess" I whispered as I stroked her hair and kissed her forehead.

"Of course I can mom" she smiled as she blinked away her tears.

We sat there in silence as walked people pass by.

"I don't want to meet him…." She whispered.

That turned my head quickly, "what?"

"I don't need to I mean. It's not necessary… You're all I need" she smiled.

Even though she tried her hardest I could see straight through her, she still wanted to. And honestly I couldn't blame her. I mean I suspect that every child wanted to meet their biological parents.

Who I am to stand in front of my daughter's happiness.

Even though I'm still torn about this it doesn't mean that she has to be. I won't stand on the side when I can give my daughter what she wants.

"You're such an amazing daughter Alia" I smiled as I pulled her into a hug.

"I try" she said as she pulled back with a small smile upon her face.

"But… I know you, you do want to meet him. Just because I have a problem with him it doesn't mean that you have to. I mean it's a clean slate with you and I've got to realize that." I said

"Mom really, you don't have to do this" she added gripping my hands.

"Yes. I do… Even… Even though I'm terrified and even though I'm still a bit pissed at him he is your father. And if you want to meet him you can. I will not stand in the way of your happiness. I love you too much to do such a thing" I said.

"Mom, I love you so much" she smiled bringing me into a bone crushing hug. "No matter what happens, just know I always will love you okay?" she smiled.

"Okay" I smiled.

"Okay" she smiled back.

Clary POV:

"Izzy you have got to be fucking kidding me right now!" I screamed as soon as the kids were out of the car and she pulled back onto the street.

"I don't know what you want me to do Clary! I couldn't not tell him; I mean what was I supposed to do? The principal called Jace and gave him all the information! When he called me and told me he knew that it was you what was I supposed to say? No, the information that Hodge gave you was wrong? That Clarissa Adele Fray was an entirely different person, that the women that my daughter and her cousins stayed with was not the same Clary we knew back in high school and college. Clary really?" she spoke.

I had a huge migraine, I mean Alia and I just finished getting back onto good terms and now this? I feel like I had gotten hit by a bus.

It was all too much way too soon. I mean the idea of Alia seeing her father was merely just a theory. I knew she'd meet him eventually but I didn't think it would be this soon!

By the angel, why did he have to ask Hodge about me? Why did he have to get all my information faxed?

I guess if Alia went somewhere I would do the same thing… But why did he have to decide to come early?

I thought after I talked Alia that I'd be ready to face him but I'm not. I'm so not.

I leaned my head against the window mentally trying to prepare myself for what I thought would never happen. I mean I guess I knew this would happen one day… I just never thought it'd be today.

I can do this… I can do this…

That seemed to be the mantra that I kept on chanting in my head as we pulled up to the arrival pick up area of the airport.

Izzy pulled the truck into a parking space and turned off the engine.

"You okay Clary?" she asked me, her voice laced with concern.

"Kind of…"

"Everything will work out you know."

"I hope so..."

"No. We are not doing this right now" she said as she unbuckled her pregnant self and situated her body she faced me directly.

"Clary, where have you gone?" she asked.

I looked at her like she was crazy, "What are you talking about Iz? I'm literally right in front of you" I said.

"No. No you are not. You see the Clary I know she doesn't back down from anything. She doesn't hope that everything will work out. She makes it work out. She's feisty, she's a spit fire, she's confident, and she takes no shit. So, where did she go? And what can I do to get her back?" Izzy bluntly spoke.

My mouth dropped open.

I didn't know what to say.

Now that I think about it… Where had she gone? I mean that was me literally a week ago. I was a single mother and a successful artist. I was getting myself places because I knew I had to. I did what I wanted and didn't take any shit from anyone. I was an independent woman.

How could I have fallen so far as to hope that things would happen, how could I just sit back and wait. That wasn't me. The real me would take that chance and make sure that everything turned out great.

I was an independent woman and I still am.

"Damn Iz, that was a major confidence booster. You're right, I am that Clary. Thanks for reminding me of who I am. I can do this. And I will do this" I smiled.

"There she is… For a second there I thought I had lost her" she smiled as she hugged me.

"Me too" I smiled pulling back from our hug.

We got out of the truck and walked towards the baggage claim area.

"Thanks Izzy, I really needed that" I smiled.

"That's what I'm here for love" she winked.

Clary POV:

I swear I felt like I was gonna faint or something.

Don't get me wrong the speech was amazing and all but now that I think about it this is crazy. I mean I'm seeing my ex-boyfriend after 17 years, and he's also my daughter's dad. God, this is insane.

I let out a breath as I tried to even out my breathing. All this waiting was making me so anxious.

I paced around the floor clenching and unclenching my hands. I swear they felt so clammy. When did they even start to sweat?

God I feel like I'm gonna pass out… Did I even eat anything today?

I walked back to Izzy but continued to pace around her.

"Clary seriously stop pacing. You're making me dizzy" Iz laughed as she gripped my arm

"No, this makes me feel better" I spoke getting out of her grip.

"Hey look there he is, Jace! Hey we're here!" Izzy yelled.

My eyes widened in horror at the realization that the time has come….

I stopped in my tracks and whipped my head around.

By the angel… There he was… He still looks the same… He aged really well…

His golden hair, those golden eyes, that chiseled jaw line, the sharp cheek bones. God, he still looks like the Jace I used to know and… love…

I felt a tug in my heart, a rush of emotions came flooding back. Those happy happy memories we shared, those moments where we were so in love, those times were he was there for me and I was there for him. He was my rock, he was my world, he was my everything. I loved him so much… And seeing him now… I still love him… He was my soulmate…

I clutched onto Izzy's hand as he turned and looked at us. I don't think he noticed me yet because he's smiling widely at Izzy.

"Izzy I change my mind... I don't think I can do this… I can't do this." I whispered breathing heavily.

"He still hasn't seen me I can run and he won't even know" I whispered as I turned my body away ready to bolt.

"You are doing no such thing… Clary you've been running away for 18 years. It's time to stop and face him. Remember who you are, you can do this" She said keeping me in a tight grip.

She's right… I can do this. I am no coward.

I sucked in a breath, standing a bit taller, pulling my shoulders up more and straightening my posture.

I can do this.

I lifted my eyes from the airport carpet.

Emerald eyes met Golden eyes for the first time in 18 years.

"Jace" I whispered looking up into his eyes.

"After all these years…" he whispered.

Everything seemed to blur away, everything is turning black, the only thing remaining was Jace.

After what felt like eternity I finally felt that familiar warmth that I didn't think I missed.

I forgot what it felt like to be so warm, that sense of security, that feeling of belonging. It felt like I was finally complete.

I inhaled that familiar scent of golden sunshine. My arms wrapped around his neck, my fingers locking behind his neck, my fingers falling back into a familiar routine of running through his golden soft locks.

I bit my lip trying to contain all the emotions threatening to spill out.

I wanted to cry and hug him forever, I wanted to stay with him for the rest of my life, I wanted him to be with me for as long as I live.

I clenched my eyes as I felt tears begin to take over.

I'm so overwhelmed.

I want to hate him, my brain wants me to hate that man that made me leave my friends, I want to hate the man that wasn't there for me when I was giving birth our child. I want to be mad but I can't.

I missed him, I missed his physical touch, and I missed the way my heart seemed to tug every time I saw him.

"I'll give you guys a moment" I heard Izzy whisper.

He's here. He's actually here.

A/N: What are your guys thoughts? Like it? Loved it? Absolutely hated it? Let me know guys!

P.S. Thanks so much for continually reviewing even though i didn't update. Seriously ever time i got one i felt super guilty about not updating so just know that i have read them all and they finally did encourage me to write again!

I really hope you guys like it! I honestly wrote half of this yesterday and wrote the rest right now. I know you guys probably really don't like how i ended this chapter but i couldn't stop my self from leaving this cliff hanger!

Please review and tell me your thoughts!

Thanks so much guys!

*:)