Title/Chapter: Ancient Words - Ch.12 – True Strength
Author: Supernatural Mommy
Characters: Sam, Dean, OFC, OMC (child), OMC ; no pairings
Spoilers: None really, unless you've not seen Season one, to Nightmare
Warnings:P-13now, R overall for adult themes. This chapter some religious references: Overall rated for language,violence (including non-con acts depicted with OC's and torture)hurt/comfort, religious references (seriously, this story uses lots of religious references, so if that bothers you, please don't read) I will try to label each chapter appropriately
Disclaimer:I don't own 'em pity, but new characters are my own creation.
Summary:Annie fights back. A visitor helps her understand all their roles in the fight to come. She just has to make to it to that point. And we have a quick visit with Sam, Bobby and Andy.
Author's Notes: Sequel to Look Into His Eyes. I know my OC's are really a big part of this story, but I'm trying to introduce some parallels. I think they will become more clear as the story goes on.
Chapter 12- True Strength
When she next realized a presence near her, it was with a suddenness that frightened her.
There was something, some kind of energy, radiating from the person this time. She pulled against her restraints. No leeway. No surprise. Not like she hadn't tried enough to make her wrists bleed already.
She was afraid of this presence.
It was dark, and so wrong.
Not being able to see or hear anything, the first hit took her by surprise.
Her jaw felt like it almost cracked from the force of the blow. The next one wasn't as surprising, and she instead experienced just the pain. As the blows came, raining over her stomach, ribs, back to her face again, she slowly detached herself from the pain.
The intensity of the attack was making it hard to breath. To think, even. She struggled to remain conscious, but felt herself fading.
It all hurt, so bad.
It would be okay to forget it all for a little while. So close now. She could feel the comfort of unconsciousness as it caressed her, numbing her senses. It was within reach. Oh please, let me leave this place now. Even if only for a little bit.
And then it was gone.
The person wasn't there anymore. She remembered the last time they left after hurting her. She would not cry. She wouldn't. No. She was ready this time when the weight settled between her legs.
The previous encounters with this person had, if nothing else, somehow stretched her restraints to allow her slight movement now. She utilized it, bucking and trying to connect with something.
If she could have, she would have smiled at the solid pain that jarred her knee as it found something solid. She would NOT go down without a fight. She felt the hesitation and then the weight there left. A small victory.
The vicious slap across her face wasn't really a huge surprise. The force of it threw her head to the side and she struggled to pull her head back up. But the pain that bloomed all over her body fought against her movement. Her head lay, too heavy for her to move.
She felt her head pulled up by the hair, and then forced back until her neck was completely open. This time, there was a whisper soft caress below her jaw. She flinched. It trailed down the column of her neck, stopping only once it reached her chest. She groaned in frustration, anger.
Try as she might, she couldn't help the tears that pooled in her eyes, soaking the blindfold. Lord, please. Please! I don't know how much more of this I can take. Please...
His breathing was almost more panting now. Hitched, and erratic. She felt the breath along her neck, up towards her ear. She heard that soft breath in before the words hit her.
"You're all alone now, Annie. All alone. And you're mine." Larkin. Like she hadn't already guessed. What did he mean? "I've killed everyone else. Except your brother. He's close though. Very close."
Her breathing hitched and she struggled to comprehend what he was saying. He must be lying. He was lying. Her anger was so all encompassing, she was shaking. He could not say those things. She jerked her head back and brought it to the side with enough force to collide meaningfully with the man at her side.
Satisfying.
If only for a moment.
The punch in retribution brought stars to her eyes and her head again fell heavily back. She struggled to pull air in. Her nose was plugged, probably from a hit she had received earlier. And the gag was cutting off most of her remaining air.
She once again felt the soft comfort of darkness so close she could almost taste it. She would welcome unconsciousness. Really. She leaned into it, wanting it so desperately. But his next words caused her to fight.
He was talking about her brother.
"It will be so fitting to have you watch while I kill him." Panic coursed through her. His voice sounded so...smug. "You'll have to wait a little while, though. He has a very important role to play in my ceremony tomorrow night. He's the guest of honor."
She tried to follow his pleasant sounding words. But she was fuzzy headed and was only catching odd words. Their meaning escaped her. Should she be able to understand what he was saying? Did he even make sense?
She shook her head slightly in frustration. The pleasant tone of his voice was a work in terror in itself. She knew better. Nothing about this man was pleasant. At all.
What about her brother?
"I'm sorry, having trouble following?" A chuckle followed. "It's simple really. Your brother has the starring role in my ceremony tomorrow night. Of course, you might not appreciate his role. Since he's the sacrifice and all."
He said it so flippantly.
Annie couldn't breath. OH God, no! Just what kind of ceremony did he have planned. Tears again wet her blindfold and the panic started to choke her. Her little brother...she was supposed to protect him. And she was stuck...here. Helpless. Fury filled her and she jerked against her restraints in another useless attempt to loosen the bonds. She screamed into her gag.
This could not happen. God, where are you? We need you here. Don't let him kill Bobby. Please. Please! She would gladly take his place, she added mostly to herself.
As the weight again left the bed, she followed the soft chuckle. Desperate for any information. Anything. The others, surely they really weren't...she couldn't think it. Couldn't believe it. He had to be lying. They couldn't all be dead.
This was so satisfying.
The disappearance of his two star captives made him absolutely livid.
He had wanted to beat the pastor to a pulp. But it didn't feel right to him. It wouldn't satisfy him. He had to take it out on something meaningful. So he had considered her, and knew immediately it would help.
Hurting her did help. His anger was simmering, not overwhelming any longer. But somehow, her fight had been renewed, and he was amused. That she would attempt to fight, to hurt him, helpless as she was.
He saw the blood that pooled under her wrists and ankles, she had obviously tested the bonds and found them quite sturdy. Where did she think she would go? He hadn't thought she would fight that much. And found it highly satisfying.
He could tell she was intently listening by the way her head was cocked slightly to the side. Still trying to stay aware. He shook his head. He was so glad he had chosen her for his very own. Breaking her would be very satisfying indeed.
First, though, he grimaced in distaste at the amount of blood pooled in various places along her body.
He wanted her. Despite the blood all over her. Maybe in part because of it. The blood reminded him of how he'd hurt her. Reminded him of how weak she really was. And that she was all his.
As he considered his most special captive, he stood, excited. He crossed to the bed with intent flashing in his blue eyes.
She had listened to his breathing. Could tell by the erratic quality that he was thinking hard about something. When she heard his sudden movement, she tensed. As he once again settled in between her legs she squeezed her eyes shut against the humiliation, the repulsion, and the shame.
She knew it was coming.
But suddenly, with his weight heavily on top of her, she felt him reach up, brushing against her arm. He pulled the blindfold off then, and the light that hit her eyes was a painful diversion from the reality on top of her.
She blinked. It was hard to see out of one of her eyes. But the other one worked just fine. His leering face loomed large in front of hers. She winced and looked away, coming face to face with her tormentor wasn't all that satisfying.
"Look at me, Annie." It was a harsh command. She didn't want to obey. She shut her eyes firmly and shook her head.
The slap wasn't that painful, really. Or maybe she was used to it by now. When she still wouldn't look at him, he slapped her again.
And again.
But she wasn't going to play his game. She refused. She was shaking to her toes, she was so afraid of him. Afraid of what he might do...afraid of what she knew already he would do. But no matter what, she wasn't going to just cave to this monster. She'd fight however she could.
He grabbed her chin with a bruising grip, pulling her face towards his. His breath was hot against her face and she felt the bile rising. Oh God, please. Help me!
"No matter. I can taste how scared you are, woman." He settled more fully on top of her. She wanted so badly to just fade away. If she could just let go and slip into unconsciousness, she wouldn't have to feel...this. "And, since there's no one around to care anymore..." He paused and she flinched at the meaning behind his words. "...You don't need this anymore."
He used a knife to cut through her gag, drawing it out of her mouth with a flourish. She coughed, gagging at the removal and the sudden need to breath deeply. He laughed.
"I'm gonna love making you scream. And I can't wait to hear it..." With those taunting words he raised up and roughly began.
A tear ran away, tickling the side of her face as it fell into her hair.
He teased her with the knife as he used her body. The pain of each slice kept her from succumbing to the darkness. Frustrated, she tried to pray silently. But there was too much.
The room spun around her, the sounds, the light, even behind her closed eyes, the dryness of her mouth. She tried to force the panic down. This is what he wanted. She did not want to give in. God, help me! She couldn't form more coherent prayers. Finally, the simple prayer repeated in her mind instead.
She didn't realize she was whispering the words until Larkin stopped his torment to lean down, his breath hot against her neck.
"God can't help you now, Annie." His laugh following that statement made her skin crawl. He was right. God couldn't help her now. Or at least, He wasn't. She tried to fight the panic once again. But a sudden deep stabbing pain in her shoulder made all pride flee, and her panic rose in a loud scream of pain and frustration. It echoed in her head.
And then, finally, there was blessed darkness.
Her lone scream was just what he craved. He grinned heavily at her, again excited. He pushed his body to finish. But with her unconscious, the thrill faded and he stared at her, disappointed.
The knife still stood straight against her shoulder, the blood flowing there satisfying in its own right. He pulled it free, not really caring about the blood that pooled below her. He'd stop it eventually. He wanted her to live for a while still.
But the blood, everywhere, commanded his attention.
The blood all over her really was disgusting. Took away from his enjoyment. He needed to do something about that.
While she was still out, he cut her loose from her restraints. He pulled his hands away from handling her and looked at the blood distastefully.
Yes, this would not do. He loved to see her hurt; all her wounds were definitely intoxicating. But the blood he could do without. He pulled her limp body from the bed, deciding to drop her in the tub. The water would bring her around. Especially if it was cold.
Destination in mind, he pulled her slight form up easily, admiring the cuts adorning her body. He smoothed the hair back from her face. Breaking her would be a thrilling experience.
Thrilling, indeed.
Bobby jumped in his sleep as Annie's scream echoed through the still night air. Beside him, tears ran from Sam's eyes. He knew that scream meant that she was suffering. He just knew it was Annie, somehow felt it to his bones.
Larkin was probably tormenting her because he was furious that he and Bobby had escaped. And as much as he would love to go back and help, maybe stick it to Larkin even (he grinned at that thought) - it wasn't possible.
His grip on Bobby tightened.
He had to keep this little guy safe. And there was no way he could leave him, not now.
But soon. Soon, he would figure a way out of this.
Dean, please be okay.
He would find everyone, his brother too.
Please.
The thoughts of seeing his brother kept the grip on his erratic emotions in check, mostly.
Dean.
He needed his brother. Looking down at the slight form snuggled in his arms, he shifted and sighed. Bobby needed his sister. They all needed someone, or something.
Suddenly Bobby bolted awake, eyes frantic.
"An-nie!" His loud whisper made Sam cringe. Hoping no one heard he swiftly moved to let the boy see him.
"Hey there, little man. We'll find her as soon as we can. I promise, okay? Right now, you've got me..." Tears fell softly from Bobby's deep brown eyes, running down his face unchecked. He met Sam's eyes with startling clarity.
So sad.
He was so very sad.
"Sam-mie stay?" Softly spoken, the eyes darted around fearfully.
"Of course, kiddo. Wouldn't leave you for nothin' - promise." Sam pulled the boy in for a hug, surprised when he let him and even burrowed deeper. The little guy sighed deeply, settling into Sam's embrace. He still trembled.
He was trying to remember when they had been taken...Tuesday night? Monday night? Everything seemed a little fuzzy these days. Monday night. He was pretty sure.
They were taken that night. But he didn't remember anything after that until Larkin woke him with his idea of a good time. He was pretty sure that had been sometime the following day...Tuesday. And they had escaped that night...so it was overnight. Almost Wednesday.
He doubted Bobby had drunk or eaten anything since they had been taken. . . he knew he hadn't. His stomach protested, but that really was the least of his troubles. But Bobby, he needed to at least get some water of some kind. How long could a kid go without water? An adult...4-5 days? A kid?
He studied Bobby's trembling form...he would have to find something for them to drink. Somehow. Uh, God? Would love some ideas here...
As if in answer, a loud roll of thunder echoed in the distance and the soft pitter patter of rain hitting the roof was heard. He looked up. Shook his head. Nah, had to be coincidence..
He looked around and saw a metal bucket hiding underneath a shelf in the corner. Great. He disengaged himself from Bobby, patting his shoulder when he looked up at him.
"Just a second, kiddo." He walked with stiff muscles to collect the metal bucket. A leak in the same vicinity was already dripping water steadily into the little corner. He moved the bucket under it, using the first bit of water to swish around in the bucket to clean it a little. Dumping that, he set the bucket to catch the dripping water.
At least they would have a little something to drink. He was a little surprised Bobby wasn't complaining, though he wasn't really a complaining kind of kid.
He looked over to find Bobby back asleep and grinned softly. Sweet kid. He lay beside him, leaving the water to collect by itself.
His eyes drifted shut with thanks, for the water anyway. Everything else still sucked. He fell asleep with a ghost of a grin on his face. Silent thoughts to God and angels echoed in his head.
You listening up there? Water's great, but getting us out of here would be even better. Saving us all would be the icing on the cake, there, dude.
The rain outside fell, unnoticed by Annie.
Deep within the safety of her mind, Annie rocked. The pain wasn't here, not the physical anyway. But the rest was still there. She choked on the sobs that threatened to rise.
God, where were you? Where are you now? She surveyed the nothingness of her solitary fortress and turned, running into a solid winged form. Knowing instinctively that this was her angelic visitor, she dropped into his arms. And let the sobs come.
"God is still with you, little one. His promises are always kept. You know this. Yes?" She nodded against his chest. She felt safe, if only for a moment. And she didn't want to let that feeling go.
But you didn't just pass up the opportunity to talk with an angel, even if you were living through hell on earth. She sighed and let go of the being. Looking up at him, she stepped back.
She was a little surprised. Well, she was having a conversation with an angel...that was surprising in its own way to begin with. But no, what had gotten her was that this wasn't the same one as before.
"I am Apostal.." She watched his wings tense and flutter in what looked like slight agitation. "Reelaiah is now with the holy one."
"So is everyone still alive...because he said..." She couldn't complete the sentence. The angel looked at her gravely .
"For now, yes." What did that mean?
"It is not possible for me to tell you anything further about those in this battle with you." He looked at her sadly. She couldn't help but wonder what he knew - that wasn't "possible" for him to say.
She swallowed, taking a breath she hadn't known she was holding. And sank to the floor, holding her knees and taking shaky breaths.
This was all becoming too much. Lost in thoughts of everything that had happened to her, she suddenly paled and remembered something Larkin had said. Raw fear gripped her.
"He said he wanted to use Bobby as a ..." She couldn't say the word, and instead tears filled her eyes. "He's an innocent, why should he have to suffer? Why?"
"The Lord watches over you and your brother; He is the shade at your right hand." It was a scripture from Psalms. It was probably meant to make her feel better, but it didn't do a whole lot to comfort Annie. The angel looked at her somberly and she looked away. "These tests you face, your brother faces, evil means them for evil gains. But the Lord would use them to strengthen you, and for good."
Her wide eyes flew around to meet his burning ones.
"How can THIS be turned to good. How can THIS strengthen me. How can HURTING my brother do anything to make him any more innocent, or good, or whatever?" She shook her head angrily. "There is no way..."
"Remember His Words in James, child." She struggled to remember what he was speaking of. She found the verses in her mind and looked at him, a little speechless.
Joy?
She was supposed to find joy in this?
She angrily shook her head.
"You are only considering the first of it, child. Remember the whole." He studied her, waiting for her to remember. She tried. And found it in the recesses of her memory:
"Consider it pure joy...when you face trials of many kinds..." She winced...this part she had already remembered. Discarded. She picked over the words, not remembering every single word...but most. "...you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance ...works...so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything..."
Her eyes widened. And she shook her head angrily. God couldn't...there was no way...no way for Him to use this hell to make her grow in faith, in strength. She looked at him.
He looked at her.
She crossed her arms, defiant.
He crossed his.
She sighed.
He unfurled his wings.
She stepped back.
"Okay, so I should be happy he's killing me back there, raping me..." Oh, she hated that word. Hated acknowledging it. "I should be happy because it'll make me a better person, huh?"
Her belligerence bounced off the angel and he stepped forward, taking her hand.
"You are upset now, little one. But through all testing you grow. To win the battle ahead you must be able to rise above this. This testing must end with you accepting the strength that God can give you." He studied her, seeing the tears she angrily wiped away. "His power is made perfect in weakness. His power is strongest in those who are the most broken. It is they who must embrace His strength, His power."
She was listening, really listening now. It was like a Sunday school lesson on steroids. She couldn't help but listen. This was part of the whole - part of who she was. Even in her anger she recognized the truth of his words.
"It is you, child, the Lord wishes to help end this fight. You are protection and faith. But you must let the Lord strengthen you. The others in this battle need you strong. Or they will lose." He looked at her sadly. "If you lose, then everyone loses."
"You can't put this on me...I don't even know if I can hang on, back there." She turned away, torn between wanting to embrace the hope, the destiny he offered her, and the reality of her circumstances. "I want to say no problem, God, give it all to me." Her voice broke. "But, I don't know how much more I could take."
She looked at him, all anger gone.
He reached a giant hand out to encompass her shoulder.
"You can do this, Annie. God will be with you. Decide which path you will take. Embrace your destiny, child. Or all will be lost." He looked at her and a tear ran down his chiseled face. It broke her heart, that he obviously hurt for her."It is soon time for you to go back."
Looking at the angel's pain, feeling her own, she made her decision. This wasn't all going to be for nothing. She wasn't going to roll over and forget everything she believed in. She wasn't going to let that evil man win.
"I can't do this alone." She took a shuddering breath. Looked up at him, meeting his eyes with a fierce determination.
"You won't be alone, child. God will be close. And I will be as well. You will be strengthened. Do not focus on what happens, rather on what will come." He pulled her close for a comforting hug. She relaxed into him, reveling in the safety she felt there.
And then he was gone. And she felt her safe spot slipping away.
It was time...
It was time for her to show what she was really made of.
She came to shivering. In a tub? Filled with cold water. Cold, almost red, water.
She sat up in tub, looking down at the various cuts and wounds over her body. The water was tinged with blood, but it took a few moments to figure out why. Most of the cuts had stopped bleeding. Mostly. None were bleeding badly.
Except one.
She couldn't see it that well, but she could see the solid line of red draining still from her shoulder. Seeing a washcloth, she gingerly wet it and wiped herself off as well as she could quickly, then started trying to apply pressure to the shoulder wound.
Movement beside her brought her eyes up to take in her tormenter. She glared at him.
He simply smiled at her. Creepy.
She crossed her arms over her chest and angled away from him, still applying pressure to her shoulder.
"Glad to see you're still with us." It was said so casually. She tensed.
"Like you really care." She tossed a look over her shoulder.
She had to try and work to fight the dizziness her slight movement was causing. How much blood had she lost? She blinked her eyes repeatedly, trying to stem the weakness overtaking her.
The shock of the water must have woken her, but the blood loss was threatening to send her over the edge again. She shivered.
"Oh, I do care. I would like to have you alive for at least a little while longer." Again with the casual tone. Although, when she looked back over her shoulder at him again, his pale blue eyes were cold in their intense perusal of her. She shivered again.
It was harder to keep her eyes open. They felt so heavy. She felt so limp. She grasped consciousness tenuously. She wanted to show that she could fight. But her body seemed to have other ideas.
She leaned heavily into the back of the tub.
"You want me to live a little longer, you might want to do something about this shoulder." She tossed the words casually over her shoulder, but the thought of him having anything further to do with her...she shivered. But she wanted to live too. God, give me strength.
Her last thought before the darkness invaded was of her brother. God, protect him, plea...
Her body slumped forward, and she again welcomed the sweet reward of unconsciousness.
He sighed heavily and flipped the drainer up to let the crimson water escape.
She didn't move at all.
He frowned, wondering just how much blood she had lost. He felt for a pulse. She was alive. He stepped back to consider his next move. Blood losshow to take care of that little problem?
She bled from several wounds, but only her shoulder leaked consistently.
He leaned to study the slowly bleeding shoulder wound. It really didn't look so bad. He could take care of that. He grabbed a small towel to place over the wound, then covered her with another towel and picked her up.
As he walked with her from the bathroom, he hummed a light tune. She had done wonders for his mood.
He would enjoy keeping her around for a while.
Downstairs, in a still darkened room, Andy thought silently to himself.
He occasionally tugged at his restraints.
He'd finally started recalling scriptures. He knew almost entire books by heart and he started with all the ones he remembered from Genesis, then moved through each subsequent book. He had no idea how long he'd been here, how long it had been since they took Sam and knocked him unconscious.
What he did know was that he knew a lot of scriptures. And he'd been reciting them long enough to make it all the way through Genesis and Exodus. He was not as familiar with Leviticus and worked through those verses he had memorized rather quickly.
He was just getting started on Numbers when a horrifying scream broke the silence. The hairs on the back of his neck rose and he shook.
Annie?
He remembered Larkin's words from before, "I have plans...Especially Annie. The rest of you will die. She will just wish she had."
He found himself cold with fear for Annie. Oh my dear Lord...He looked heavenward in silent, unspoken agony.
He worried anew for Sam. And Bobby.
Little Bobby...Oh God! He didn't want to think about what awaited all of them. But especially Bobby. That little boy was so innocent..how could he possibly make sense of all this? It was too much.
With an angry shake of his bound wrists, he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the cool wall. Why, Lord, Why? How could you let this happen?
Tears trickled down his cheeks, whisked away by the cloth fabric bag over his head. It stifled him. He struggled for air as he fought to breath through the thick gag. He was choking. He sucked air in through his nose, and panicked when it didn't feel like enough.
Several long minutes passed as he struggled to steady his breathing. He hit the back of his head against the wall, wincing at the impact but uncaring of the pain. He couldn't do anything, stuck here like this. He was just a pawn for Larkin. And Annie...he hung his head.
He'd loved that girl like a sister for over a year now. Could have felt more...just never felt right. That she could be hurting...He sobbed in frustration. Damn it!
Lord...where are you in this?
Spent, he closed his eyes to the blackness of his world and focused inward. This was all just too much. Nothing he could think of or pray for could make it better.
He was unsure of anything anymore.
Oh, Lord, why?
So - I know we didn't see much of Sam this chapter, and I hate sharing such details of Annie's ordeal ... but it all works together. This fic especially is about exploring how the guys deal with true faith and spirituality, not the half-real, almost there version we have seen on the show a few times now. We've seen glimmers, but never a real full understanding of how that affects the brothers. My thought? That each brother's spiritual acceptance or lack thereof is a lot more complicated than what's been presented in canon.
Just to leave you thinking - when a person is stripped bare, when they're taken to the edge of their endurance and then pushed further, when they stay the course even when it should be impossible - what does that say about the strength of the that person? We're seeing that with Annie within the story, but I really want the reader to consider the same as it relates to Sam. This season (third) and last season we've seen him tested and pulled and pushed and to what end? How about Dean?
Just some things to think about. grins
Kat
Oh - and thanks for the continued comments - I realy do appreciate them even if I'm horrible about responding to them. Life is crazy and I just don't always have the time I'd like to leave replies.