Carlisle's POV

Emmett would've been the one to get the gas, and laughed as he drowned the house we loved the most with the toxic liquid. He would've been the one to make us laugh in this state. We could've dealt with losing any one of them but him. I shook my depressed head and pressed down on my temples. It was supposed to be de-stressing.

Edward, my first companion, I can still remember his dashing green eyes. The warmth in his eyes when he married to Isabella. Elizabeth's beloved son deserved more. My son deserved more. Was an extra decade of happiness so cruel?

My newest daughter meant the world to me, just like the rest of my family. Bella, the foolish 17-year-old girl when we first met in the emergency room. Edward has just saved her from a grueling and random death. He was so close to slipping up. So close to a blood bath. Pregnancy did nothing to Bella, besides tear up her insides and almost kill her. Brought Edward to a depressing stage. Renesmee was worth it.

Rosalie, with all the broken glass doors and temper tantrums, threw away all her personality faux pas for the beautiful spawn of her brother. She became the kind person we knew existed deep down in her soul, the person she saved for the bedroom with Emmett. Her luscious blonde hair hugging her broad shoulders, I would miss her beauty, her maternal love and her presence. I loved her through everything.

Would I survive with half of my family gone? I poured the last of the gas onto the grass, careful not to get it on the trees. Our things were already packed into the cars, Esme and Jasper already returned from their house-building trip. We would each drive one car up to Yukon. Our spare identities were ready, thanks to Jasper's emergency supply of passports and birth certificates.

We would cross the border separately, for vacation purposes only. Vancouver was a fine place to look at nature, to be honest. Much less rainy than the clouds of Forks, Washington.

I looked back at the piles of empty gas cartons we made. The house was soaked with the foul smelling liquid. "Are we ready?" I asked my family softly. They just nodded solemnly. I took a deep ragged breath and struck a match. The sun would set soon. I threw the lit match onto the well-constructed roof; it set into a blazing fire immediately. I could hear Alice and Esme's soft cries in the background. I slowly took a step back, feeling the warmth of the acidic fire on my face. My arms wrapped around the ladies, and Jasper followed.

"Let's get going," I whispered, not wanting to listen to my own words. The world was so silent, even the fire had an eerie quietness to it. Jasper climbed into the white Jeep and departed first. I waited until Esme left with my Mercedes and Alice left with her Porsche (which was now sprayed black to stay inconspicuous) before I pulled out of the heated clearing behind all of them in Edward's Volvo. Bella's red Ferrari was donated to the Cancer foundation, since we didn't have an extra person to drive it up north. She would've been glad to get rid of it for a good cause anyway.

As we pulled onto the highway one by one, I picked up my cell phone and dialed Esme.

"Carlisle, is there something wrong?" she said quickly. We were now on prepaid since we weren't supposed to exist.

"No, don't stop," I said as the car in front of me started slowing down. "I'm just going to stop by the hospital, so we don't get to the border at the same time. Just to tell you I'll be the last one there."

She hesitated on the line. "Alright, dear. I'll talk to you later, then," she finally said. The line went dead. I did a great U-turn that would've gotten me a ticket it a police were there, but I sped back to the fire. Cruisers with red and blue flashing lights were already piling in. They were fast.

I drove my car silently into the woods, concealing it with harmless leaves and branches. Getting out of the vehicle was rather difficult, though. I sprinted to the scene, and saw Charlie Swan starring at the fumed smoke with confusion. What damage we've done to the environment. What damage I've done. A few murmured words I couldn't make sense out of were spoken. Then Isabella's father fell to the floor.

A couple present paramedics quickly strapped him onto a gurney and loaded him into the ambulance. A couple firefighters were risking their valuable lives by going into the empty house. I desperately wanted to tell them to give up already, and stop harming their lungs; they only had one set to live with. The fire was surprisingly put out already, I didn't notice that two hours passed already. I should really get myself on the road again.

I ran back to my black Mercedes hidden by the dark skies and drove slowly to the hospital. Sometimes I wished the tacky old Mercedes logo could disappear off my car. It attracted too much attention, a pain at times like this.

By the time I got there, the ambulance with Charlie Swan arrived already. Charlie was already getting hooked up in a cozy room—as cozy as a hospital could get. He wouldn't get flowers, or get well cards. I hoped Billy Black would visit him, along with Sue Clearwater.

I owed him an explanation, an explanation I couldn't give him. What I could've given him was some company. For a few moments maybe. I went against my own beliefs and snuck quietly into his room. Thank god his room had a window; it saved me a lot of trouble.

The window was left open, and the light snow blew through it, moistening my hair. I leaned against his cot, and thought about all the things I could've done better. The least I could do was help him heal faster.

As if it were planned, Charlie's hand shot up to his nose, trying to pull out the breathing aid. I quickly stopped him and gingerly placed his hand back onto his chest. He fluttered his eyelids and I slid down the wallpapered wall and crouched down.

I heard a trembling breath. "Are you alright, Chief Swan?" I asked nervously. It was an absurd question.

"I will be, if you could be kind enough to close that window there," he said through chattering teeth. It was cold outside. I could hardly feel a difference. It wasn't like me to forget things like that. I wasn't like me at all right now. An awkward silence pervaded the tightly bound room. I was just about to leave when he suddenly shouted, "Carlisle Cullen" a little too loud. I muffled him lightly with my hand.

"I'm supposed to be dead," I said right out of the blue as I released his mouth. He would remember this as a dream. I was sure of it. "Just wanted to check on you, since my good colleagues are taking a week off on a so called 'business trip' to mourn my family and I. The doctors here now are probably not very skilled…" I lied. The doctors here were perfectly trained. Perhaps a little lazy but, very capable of treating ill patients.

His hands balled up into tight fists. "Where is Bella? Tell me where my daughter is," he begged. I took a deep breath. He smelled so much like Isabella. He was bringing me close to sobs. I didn't cry when I lit my favourite house on fire, but I was close. Inevitably, I had to answer his question.

"We're moving, but I'm guessing you noticed that. Bella is… Fine. She's perfect," I said quietly, hoping he wouldn't be asking for a repeat. I couldn't deal with so many lies at once. That was Jasper's expertise when he was dealing with Jenks. Charlie started shaking all over, and he started heating up. I was glad I left the window slightly open when I went to shut it.

"But you didn't have to burn down your home to move! Sell it, loan it, I don't know! I know money hardly means anything to you, but you could've given it to a nursing home, an orphanage! Do some good for the community!" he tried to whisper. I wasn't the only one close to tears now.

"I'm sorry, Charlie," I patted his shoulder and tried my best to "vanish" out the window. I closed it fully this time, hoping that he could remember our meeting as a nightmare. Just a nightmare.

I ran to the 24/7 grocery store where I parked my car and pulled our faster than the bored employee could catch. She didn't even widen her eyes. I prepared myself with the 48-hour, non-stop drive to Yukon, a northern territory of Canada.

As I reached the border, I took out one of my wallets and checked the id and the passport to see if they were matching. They were all prepared before I crossed.

"Hello sir," I said to the Border Service Police at the booth. I probably looked fresh out of college to the man.

"How you doin' tonight, Mr. Collins?" he asked me while scanning my passport.

"Doing great," I answered directly, seeming as if I've been across this border millions of times.

"So what's your purpose of coming to Canada?" I suppressed my urge to sigh. Going through this was a waste of time.

"I'm visiting a friend in Vancouver, staying over for a month. Just out of college, y'know." My attempt at talking 'young' was working. The age stated on my current passport was 23, and that was a perfectly acceptable age for a newly graduated.

He nodded and rushed me through without so much as a "have a great night."

I drove at the limit for a mile before I sped up an immense amount. I knew I made a grave mistake. Charlie Swan was too much like Bella, and he would remember me suddenly disappearing and saying that I was dead. The doctors would ask him what happened before he fainted, and he would be too flustered for his own good, and he wouldn't be able to find a good lie to say.

I took a deep breath and shuddered. There was nothing I could do now. I inched my foot and slowly floored the car. My shoulders were shaking. My fingers were close to snapping off the steering wheel. A quiet whimper escaped from my lips. I finally broke down. After all the time I've had around people, around my family, the time alone and the silence made me quake and cry. I wished those tears could just come out. Vampire anatomy wasn't complicated; I knew I couldn't.

The pain was so unbearable I had to pull over. The sun was coming up, and I was way past the city lights. I didn't pay attention to signs. I was probably near Stewart; the simple recognition of the route we took to get to Alaska gave it away. Tanya and her family weren't lucky enough to escape the deadly wrath of my old friend Aro. He was hardly a friend now. More so a fiend than an ancient buddy.

I flipped out the new map of Yukon right when I crossed the border. The skies were dark and I was far away from any city light. Tonight I would start new. I would leave the past in it's past and move on.

The house wasn't too far north. It was supposedly built in a natural clearing, not far from Watson Lake. I knew that my schedule was far behind and some of the necessities were stored in my car. I prayed that Edward's antiqued piano made it across this grueling drive and that it was actually in a playable state. I doubted the back of the Jeep was a safe place to keep it, especially considering the way Jasper drives. He's careful, but he liked speeding more than anything.

I was hardly the one to talk, though. I peeked at the dashboard and it read 190. I've never driven any faster in my life. I didn't even think I ever hit 190 kilometers, much less miles. Ah, to drive like a Cullen. I couldn't say that I didn't like it though. I liked the feeling of speed and freedom. I was almost happy in the silent cramped car for once.

At least a couple hours away from my final destination, I hoped that Alice already made a pathway into the home. I knew I had to cover it with leaves once I drive over it, but it was nice to just drive down a nature filled lane.

The speed limit of Whitehorse and my car's bright headlights made me slow down. What are the odds are that a black Mercedes races through their streets at 9am in broad daylight? To be honest, they didn't have daylight in the winter. Yukon was a grueling place to live, and I hoped that the wooden house Esme designed would withhold during this time. At least we'd be able to go out every day, and watch the stars twenty-two hours a day. The forever night would make me feel like more of a monster than I already am.

Until the summertime, we'd stay in the deserted woods and hunt polar bears. Having to conceal the blood and footsteps in the snow was the hardest. But I trusted the clouds to be crying flakes of white throughout the season, so we'd be safe. My imagination was making me delusional and I couldn't help but dream up another joyous day just to see it crushed before my eyelids. I snapped my head back. "I thought we were moving on, Carlisle Cullen," I lectured myself.

Silence got more insufferable by the moment. I inched my fingers forward to turn on the tuner. A loud blast of static and intolerable noise came blasting out of the stereos, making me slam my foot down on the brakes, the first time in thirty-three hours of continuous driving. I jabbed my finger on the volume down button and tried to lower the volume fast enough without breaking it.

Remembrance suddenly hit me. Emmett asked to borrow my car to drive up to Port Angeles before the… "fight." He always turned the music up so high that the windows would shatter if they were any thinner. I then scolded myself again for not moving on. My foot pressed slowly onto the accelerator, and I lurched forward again.

After I finally found a station that worked in Yukon, all that it played was elevator music. And the moment I drove out of Whitehorse (the capital city), the signal was lost again. I gave a long exasperated sigh and continued driving. "If only I had bought an iPod for the trip," I thought.

My cell phone vibrated before it started ringing. I quickly flipped it open; not knowing whom it was, due to my lack of caller id. "Hello?" I answered.

"Hi Carlisle," said Jasper's voice. He sounded exhausted and irritated, strange for him. "Just wonderin' where you've been with our mattresses and clothes."

"Sorry Jazz. I'm almost there. Be patient and… set up the electricity," I joked. We'd have to man power it in the middle of nowhere.

A sigh echoed on the other line. "We already did. And the room walls are up. Do you know how hard it's snowing here? Alice and I had to drive back to Whitehorse to get a couple of weather resistant posts and drywall," he stated. So they managed to get electricity, metal posts and drywall. I was still in the car glumly getting half-yelled at by my son.

"How fast are you drivin' right now? Because I really don't think it's fast enough. I'll bet Alice and I could run back to that lousy capital city of theirs and grab some paint and wall paper and a couple of lamps before you arrive, Dad. Are you hitting two hundred? Even Esme sped past that the whole way, so we could get her in time, y'know, so we can be together." I heard a smack on the other line and a quiet "I deserved that" before the phone was handed off to another person.

"Hey honey," said a sugar sweet voice that made my heart melt at any time. "Jasper's a bit stressed. Yes, we did get electricity and dry wall, which is nice. Took us quite a while though. Especially the posts. Hard to get anything up when the wind is battering at your face. Anyway, Alice made these cute little mills that starts the electricity, so the wind isn't a complete suffer." As my wife talked, I decided to take up Jazz' offer and hit 210. The highways were all empty and dark, anyway.

"Where are you right now, Carlisle? I don't want to waste the last of our minutes—and the last of your cell phone signal," Esme suddenly said.

I looked around me, no signs were visible. "I'm not sure, actually." I cued the windows to roll down a bit and smelled the bitter air, then quickly closed them again. Finally, a sign showed up and zipped right out of my sight, but I caught the words effortlessly. "I just passed Watson Lake. Come out so I can see you, I'm sure the wind blew your scent away. All I can smell is… pine and ice." I would've loved the cooling breeze if it weren't for my mood.

The past two days were the worst I've ever had. I don't think I've ever felt so lonely and so filled with hate at the same time. And that "slaphappy" feeling kept hitting me like the northern winds, which was blowing through my face now as I flew by doing 195. I kept the windows rolled down because I knew I could catch Esme's scent faster than I could see her beautiful figure.

The unexpected hit of butterscotch and daisies blew straight into my nose. I stomped my foot on the brake, causing my precious car to screech. Alice's figure quickly knocked on my already open window and I unlocked the doors so that she could climb in the passenger seat. I gave her a warm hug and she said, "About time you got here, Carlisle," and kissed me on the cheek.

"I prefer to… drive slowly," I said and she giggled. "So electricity, eh? How'd you manage that?" I teased her.

She pretended to scoff. "My wide knowledge in… science and future-seeing, of course," Alice said half-heartedly. "Turn at the next tree." What a weird direction to give; I'd never thought to hear something like that, even after living in Denali.

"There's a pavement we made. It's pretty far in, so you might scratch your car a bit," she continued rambling. "Don't worry though. The path gets wider as you go in. we're going to need to plant a couple of trees by the highway before daylight. Which is pretty much every single minute of our stay here. The cold will get on our nerves soon. Should we install a heater? My preference for Alaska rules over." Alice's usual smile didn't touch her eyes, and I was getting anxious. She stared into the bland darkness instead of looking at me like she usually did. The light sigh was considered loud in the car.

"Try to move on, Alice baby. It'll make it easier," I tried to comfort her. She just nodded and her eyes irrevocably lit up with excitement like I hoped. She pointed to the small light straight ahead.

Alice tilted her head towards me and beamed, "That's the house. It's quite gorgeous, isn't it?" "May the bouncing on car seats commence," I said to myself, but with a nice warm glow in my heart.

A/N: Hey guys! I've missed y'all so much. Who knew that I'd still be writing? This was much longer than my usual, but I like writing more, it makes me feel happy. Tell me if you like long chapters or short chapters.

At the beginning there were a couple paragraphs telling you, which Cullens are gone (I'm sorry) just to clear things up. I have the rest of the story all planned out and it's going to be pretty long. Sorry I haven't updated for so long, it's just that… everything's been so confusing with my life lately and I've barely had any motivation.

It's getting so cold where I live, and it's crazy! I wear UGG boots every day to school or else my toes get uncomfortable. I don't live in Yukon though, by the way. Far from there. But the places and Lake names are all true, same with the no light during the winter thing. What useless things we learn in 5th grade science, right?

Anyway, some reviews for this chapter would be super nice, and it would keep me going through the whole story and update every week instead of every month. Review if you think my blog things are getting annoying. Review if you hate what I've written. Review if you love it. :)

Also, I've been looking for a beta, so if you have the time, once a month (for now, since that's how much I've been updating) PM me, and you'll be my saviour. PM me if you just want to chat and share stories, too.

I'm sounding kind of desperate now, aren't I? ;) Anyway, hope you've enjoyed this chapter. I love you guys so much for subscribing and favouriting. I treasure all you readers, from the bottom of my heart.

Thanks a bunch and a bit for sticking around,

Ice :D

Stop reading here if you don't care about my music preference!

The chapter song is: Scientist by Coldplay. Great song. Listen to it.

Album rave: The Boy Who Knew Too Much by Mika. I've always loved him. Favourite song in the album is… "Rain" and "I See You"

Artist rave: Jason Mraz & 100 Monkeys.

Y'all must think I talk too much for an author that has seven reviews. ;) I don't write for the comments—though they would be nice. I write for the sake of writing and my sanity. 3