Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All the characters are owned by the respective owners (even though they abuse them).

Please keep in mind English is not my first language!

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That was the fastest case John ever did to date. He was in and out, like he told Bella. Back at the motel room they were staying at by 1.30.

He did a job that would normaly take two to three days in one.

That was not something John will complain about, maybe now he can take some time off. At least a day or two. Maybe spend them with the boys, or just rest in general. It has been years since John actually took the time for himself. Watch a game or lie on the couch with his feet up, or what sounded the best to him right now – curl up on a couch with the boys, Bella and a bowl of popcorn and watch a movie together.

He smiled at the thought. What was Bella doing to him? To all of them? This was strange. And as soon as he'll be able to John will stop by Missouri and ask her. Maybe she knew something.

John wanted it all.

God, how much he wanted the closnes he and dream Bella had. But the thought of having it and then losing it terrified him more than the thought of never having it at all. Just thinking about loving her, her loving him. Them being happy together with the boys, maybe having another child.

His heart constrictes when he thinks of losing Bella like he lost Mary.

John sees it in his minds eye – Bella pinned to the cielling, burning. On fire.

Their child crying after her, like Sam cried for Mary. And then just like Sam, the baby would gradually forget Bella.

NO! John shook his head to get rid of the cursed images in his mind. He will not let that happen. He will not go through that again. John wouldn't survive that. Not only that, but John couldn't let his kids go through that again.

He looked at her, snuggled to Sammy in a motel bed.

She was so beautiful, so gentle, so loving.

He hated himself and her destiny right there. She deserved so much better.

Better than him.

Better than some shady motel room decorated in the seventies style.

Bella deserved the world in Johns eyes. Just like his boys did. Unfortunately that was not given to them.

If John had a clue where to find the demon that killed Mary and how to kill it, he would try to make Bella and his boys happy. He would retire from hunting. Open a mecanic shop, possibly with Bobby.

Maybe.

But he didn't know where to find it and he couldn't risk Bella like that. He could never give her what she deserved.

So, yes. It was better to let it be. Keep her in arms distance. Even if he wanted nothing more that to hold her, kiss her, love her.

He slept poorly that night.

He was awake in to early hours of the morning, weighing the pros and cons. In the end he fell asleep. Undecided, but conflicted and full of longing.

Bella woke up by shrill sound.

Siting up confused she looked around trying to find the source of the noise. The noise sounded so familiar.

Her spine straightened and her eyes grew wide. Of course the noise was familiar, it was her phone. She forgot she had it.

How could she miss her phone?

»Where the fuck is it?« She scrambled of the bed following the obnoxious noise.

She felt a pang in her chest when she remembered when she set that annoying ring tone.

It was one day a few months ago. Bella just got the new phone and didn't really check through the instructions and never set a different ring tone. It was the same ring tone that the phone manufacturer set. A quiet one.

That day she didn't hear her phone and Charlie called her. He called her all day, Bella had about thirty missed calls. Her dad almost had a heart attack. He was ready to come to her school to check on her, to see if she was okey.

But it thankfully never came to that. When Bella saw her phone that evening, she called him back and they made an agreement. The agreement to change the ring tone to something Bella will always hear. She was more than willing to accommodate Charlies request.

He was so worried about his daughter, Bella's heart warmed at the love her father had for her, even if her mother didn't.

Speaking of the devil.

When Bella found her phone she was so excited to see she had it, she didn't even check caller ID. And that was stupid.

'Isabella?' The most obnoxious voice ever came through the line.

Bella wished she let it ring. Surely the phone ringing would be less painful than this.

»Renee.« Renee cut of whatever hello Bella had.

'Where are you Isabella?'

»Um…. Why?« Bella wanted to know. Renee didn't call her in years, why now. Charlies death meant nothing to her, Bella knew that.

'Well, I'm with Charlies lawyer and he said you haven't come to see him yet. Why is that, Isabella?'

»Mom, please stop calling me Isabella. You know it annoys me.« And Renee did know that. Bella despised being called Isabella, just like Renee hated when Bella called her mom.

'Don't call me that!' Renee snapped.

»Then you should call me the way I want to.« Bella proposed amused. »And why should I be with dads lawyer?«

'Charlie was a police officer, he had great life insurance.' Renee stated like it was obvious.

Bella could almost hear the DUH implied. Bella was stuned. She knew Renee was a greedy bitch but she never saw this coming.

»Wow.« Bella breathed. »What, you bought the plane ticket as soon as you heard dad died and you went straight to the lawyer? Because dad was a cop and was insured?«

'Yes' Renee said calmly. She didn't see anything wrong with that.

»I don't think dad left you anything.«

'Why would you think that?'

»Um… You've been divorced for over twenty years Renee.«

'So what? Charlie loved me. He never got over me.'

Bella started to laugh.

»Wow! You're insane! You left him. Twenty years ago! I think he did get over you, he was seeing someone as far as I know.«

'Well even if that's true I'm sure he left you something.'

»That is highly possible.« Bella alowed.

'So you'll give me half of the money.'

»No, I won't.« Bella snapped. She was finaly fed up. »I don't need the money but I sure as fuck won't give a single cent to you. You are the most selfish person I ever met. You digust me! Don't ever call me again!«

Bella ended the call. »Fucking bitch!«

She turned to see three pairs of wide eyes looking at her, she didn't even know they were awake.

Now that she thinks about it, it does seem kind of normal. No one could sleep through that ringing and she wasn't exacly quiet when she was talking with Renee.

»Sorry about that.« She told them.

As much as Bella though she had a right to be pissed off she really was sorry the boys heard her talking like that. And the fact they know it was her mother makes it even worse.

John cleared his throat. »So that was your mother?«

Bella nodded sadly. She couldn't find words right now. She was so angry, so sad and so disappointed at the woman who was suposed to be her mother it was just beyond words.

»I'm sorry.« Was all that John said.

He only heard Bella's side of the conversation, but it was enough for him to decide that Bella was better of without that woman.

Bella's eyes surveyed the room quickly not meeting anyones gaze. She didn't want to see the pity in their eyes and she sure as hell didn't want them to see the tears in hers.

»Boys I apologize for my language. You shouldn't have heard that.« She said to the door.

Bella cleared her throat, she was bearly keeping it together.

»Uh, I'm… I'm gonna go to get breakfast.« She was already half way through the room. »If that's alright with you?«

Never looking at John or waiting for an answer Bella opened the door and left the room. Though she was sorry immediately when she heard Sam ask John if she'll be back. Yet she didn't have the strength to go back right now, she couldn't even wait to hear what John aswered. She took off running as soon as the door was closed.

She found a bench under a tree in a small park. Collapsing on it Bella finally let out all the anger and the hurt she'd been keeping for all these years. After crying for almost fourty five minutes, Bella calmed down. She felt better now. Calmer, lighter more free.

She didn't need that kind of a person in her life. Renee never did anything for Bella, never. She only though about herself- and now it's time for Bella, she won't let Renee spoil this for her.

Bella felt threatened. She felt that Renee would be threat to Bellas relationship with the Winchesters. And Bella will not alow that to happen.

Whatever this pull was that she had to John it obviously extended to his children.

Bella knew the Winchesters for two days and she already loved them.

All of them.

Thank you for reading!