We'll find strength in pain.
Chapter 13
Scene 1
-''Violet. Vi, honey… Wake up.''
Hearing her father's voice, Violet stirred in her sleep. At first she refused to open her eyes and fought to go back to sleep. Sleep was so much more than need these days; it was comfort. But unfortunately Violet's conscience had kicked in for good so she had no other choice but to open her eyes. The first image she took in was that of Tate, still lying motionless on the bed right beside her chair. The same chair she had occupied for those last days despite the complaints of the Sisters. She felt a light squeeze on her shoulder and she looked up to face Ben.
-''Go away.'' She simply said. Her voice was still rough from falling asleep.
-''Violet, please… How long is this supposed to go on?'' There was a concerned expression on her father's face that only managed to irritate Violet. It was a bit late to start worrying now.
-'' For as long as it takes for him to wake up.''
-''Sweetheart, I don't think…''
-'' No!'' Violet cried before he could manage to finish that sentence. ''Don't you even say it. You don't know him. He's stronger than you think. He can fight it… He won't leave me.'' The last words came out almost as a whisper.
The concerned look on her father's face changed into one of pity. Violet felt the urge to slap this look off his face. He should really be more careful when handling himself around people on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
-''Sweetheart, of course he doesn't want to leave you…'' He said with the patronizing tone he thought was appropriate for his patients. ''He was sick…He couldn't help it…''
Violet clutched the arms of the chair really tight to hold herself from screaming. She couldn't afford to annoy the Sisters or they would throw her out. So she tried to act as calmly as possible.
-''How? How can anyone be so oblivious, dad?'' She sighed in exasperation. '' You… You are his doctor. You've seen his medical history. Either you are completely ignorant or you just don't care…''
She was certain it was the latter. A man not only working, but also living in the Asylum should have noticed people getting sick frequently. Tate had complained about his medication and other people must have complained too. He should have also noticed that he was working alongside people with deranged personalities; aren't psychiatrists supposed to know stuff like these? So yeah…obviously her father didn't care enough to notice. He was a man going simply through the motions, always waiting for some kind of meaning to suddenly come into his life and make him care… It hadn't happened yet and it'd probably never happen. That's why her father would always be miserable.
-''Maybe you're right.'' Ben said, taking Violet by surprise. ''I'm not the man I should be… I'm not the father you need or want. But I do love you… so much. I have failed miserably in letting you see that, but you… you are the only thing I care about. And I can't stand seeing you like that. So maybe…maybe it would be better if we left. Easier…''
-''No.''
-''But you yourself think this place is bad news…''
-''No.''
-''Be reasonable, Violet…''
-''No, dad, no! I am very, very reasonable by not wanting to leave Tate behind at this place while he's at this state. So if you could be reasonable too…''
-''And do what? Let you leave in denial? Can you honestly tell me that there's no chance the boy won't make it? There's a chance that there's not even anything left of him in there.''
-'' Yes, there is… He's still here.'' And he's terrified and he's begging for me not to leave him, so fuck off. We're not going anywhere. ''And maybe there is a chance he won't make it…okay. But it hasn't happened yet so I'm staying…''
-'' What until…''
-''Until the very end.''
Scene 2
Ben couldn't remember a time, even in Violet's early childhood, when she and he had a traditional father-daughter relationship. He had never been her hero; the one person who could fix it all. He had always been too emotionally stunted to reach out to her and too lost in his forever on-going existential crisis to be any sort of role model. Violet always saw right through him and always considered him to be a pompous jackass that made his living from listening to others without actually ever listening. She was right. But he always tried to listen to her. He was always trying to get her and he always failed. Right now though he was certain he knew what was best for his daughter.
They had to leave…
When he took Violet away from Boston to restart their lives in Briarcliff he hadn't thought it through. It was what he needed at the time. To get away. But by doing that he had isolated Violet from the world. He had left her with no friends…no family. Had he honestly believed that he would have been enough of a support to her? Did he hope that here in the Asylum they would have found a way to bond and lean on each other? Maybe…
But that was obviously not the case. At the worst time of her life, when she had no one else by her side, she didn't turn to him, but to someone even more damaged than her. She hadn't sought for help, but to help. And he admired his daughter for that. He really did. But that didn't mean he could let her get through this. The boy was dying and Violet was dying alongside him. It was strange to Ben how she could attach herself on someone in such a short time, but it had happened. Losing Tate would cripple Violet. Moving her to a healthier environment was the right call.
-''Come in.'' Came a weak voice from behind the heavy door. Ben hesitantly opened the door. He didn't want to bother the director while she was still worn out after the misfortunate event of her food poisoning. And he wasn't so sure how socially correct was to enter a nun's bedroom.
-''Sister, I'm sorry to bother you right now. If you want me to leave…''
-''No, that won't be necessary. I feel a lot better already and you so rarely come to visit me. It must be something important. Please, sit.'' The director pointed to a red, velvet armchair close to the door. Mary's room, as her office, was not bare of comforts. Ben couldn't spot a trait that could tell this room belonged to a nun. There was a bookcase at the far, right corner that carried only a small bunch of books and none of them was of religious content. Why was he just noticing these kinds of things? No. He must have noticed before. But it was none of his business.
Mary Eunice was lying on her bed, wearing a long, white nightdress and she somehow made it seem a lot more revealing that it actually was.
-'' Director, I don't mean to cause you some inconvenience….especially now… but I'm here to inform you of my resignation.''
The young nun narrowed her eyes in confusion. She looked at him consideringly for a while and then she answered.
-''Is there…some problem? With the facility.''
-''Wha…No, no…''
-''Because if there is, I need to know, Doctor Harmon. So that I can fix it.'' Her tone was strange…very insistent….and it made Ben feel uncomfortable.
-'' There is no such problem, Sister. This is a completely personal matter. I just think that right now the best thing for me and my daughter would be to return to Boston.''
-''And there is no way I can convince you to stay?''
-''No. I'm sorry. We need to leave.''
-Okay then. I will inform the Monsignor of your decision. We need to find us another psychiatrist.''
Ben stood up to leave.
-''Thank you, Sister. Again I'm sorry for the inconvenience. ''
Mary groaned in frustration when the door closed behind Ben. At this condition it was even harder to see through the human's intentions. Did he know something? She knew… She could feel that something had gone on when she was unconscious. She could feel that something was off. Things were behind her back, but she would be damned if they thought she would let them throw her under the bus. The Harmons had plenty of chances to get away of the Asylum, but now no more. No one was leaving Briarcliff.
Scene 3
"I have for the first time found what I can truly love–I have found you. You are my sympathy–my better self–my good angel–I am bound to you with a strong attachment. I think you good, gifted, lovely: a fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you, draws you to my centre and spring of life, wrap my existence about you–and, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one."
-''That's beautiful, Violet. Where is it from?'' Elva asked in order to make her presence known as she entered the unit. She and the guys were taking turns, keeping Violet company.
-''Jane Eyre. I had given him my copy…He didn't get to finish it.''
Elva sat on the chair at the other side of Tate's bed.
-''Did we have any news? Did you notice anything out of the ordinary?'' Violet asked.
-''No.'' Elva shook her head, her lips tightening in disappointment.
Violet sighed.
-''What if no one finds the photos?''
-''Someone will. Have faith.''
-''I can't… I'm sitting here and all I can think is… What if all these were for nothing? What if… I lost him for nothing.'' She couldn't keep her voice from fading.
-''Violet… you haven't lost him. Don't say that.''
Violet looked up to stare hard into Elva's eyes.
-''You feel guilty.''
-''I do. But… I don't regret what we did. We had to. People are suffering… Others are in danger.''
-''I would sacrifice every single one of them to have Tate back.''
-''I know.''
Minutes of uncomfortable silence passed after that. Violet was in some way blaming Elva and the rest for what had happened to Tate. But she couldn't say that she couldn't understand their reasons.
-''They were your friends, right?'' Violet said after a while.
-''Hmmm?'' Elva frowned in confusion.
-''The people in the forest…They were your friends.''
-''Actually, no. They were my responsibility.''
-''What do you mean?''
-'' I was the one supposed to protect them. I should have listened to Angelique when she asked for my help, but I was too set in my ways. It wasn't that I didn't trust her… I did. I hired a private detective after she told me to look up Arden and he proved her right. Arden was a monster and I had let him mess up with the people that I had been trusted with… And when I found out… it was too late. Like she'd told me it would be.''
-''You…were not a patient.'' Violet slowly concluded.
-''No.''
-''Were you… Are you Jude Martin? The previous director.''
Elva nodded. And then her long, silver hair started taking a blonde shade and she turned younger and younger. She even seemed a bit younger than what the photo in the old newspaper suggested.
-''So…tuberculosis, huh?'' Violet said jokingly, trying to snap out of her shock.
Elva…Jude laughed throatily.
-''I was just oblivious… I thought I was the smart one. The one with the plan. But she could see everything. She had allies and I had none. She was determined and I was plain terrified. When they came for me…it was a lost fight.''
-''I'm sorry.''
-''Oh, don't be. I didn't go down so easily. Just ask Moira.'' Jude said, offering Violet a smug smile.
To be continued
-yes…I know. It takes me unforgivably long to update but…Neurology and pediatrics. That is all. That's my excuse. Be lenient.
- When this story is over…I'm guessing in 3 chapters….I'm changing the summary. I don't think people know what they're getting into by reading it.
Disclaimer: I do not own American Horror Story or any of the characters.