Another tribble about poor Doctor Leonard McCoy whom we love so much.

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Bones' Bad Day

Dr. Leonard McCoy wandered down the hall of D deck grumbling softly to himself, going over some data on a PADD in his hand as he made his way to the Captain's Quarters. Jim had avoided the mandatory sickbay check-in after a landing party mishap which sent the crew on a wild adventure on some Godforsaken rock at the edge of the galaxy-again-Bones had taken it upon himself to make a house call. He was such a good friend.

As he approached his friend's cabin, he realized the door across the hall was propped open, and a wind of hot dry air coasted down the hall from what could only be a Vulcan's quarters. Bones growled under his throat and approached, feeling in his gut that Jim was probably playing Chess or something with their Science Officer again and therefore Bones would have to deal with one of his least favorite crewmen, Commander Spock.

"Nngh...this is going to hurt, isn't it?"

"Not if we are cautious, Captain."

Bones paused as he heard some sort of conversation emanating from the depths of the First Officer's room and scowled. He was not in the mood for any dealings with either of them, much less the both of them. However he stepped up to the door, lifting a hand to ring the chime.

"You know how to do it, right?"

"This is not my first time, if that is what you wish to know, Captain."

"Great. Comforting. Just...pop it in quickly, alright?"

"I assure you, insertion is quick and painful for only a few moments."

The Good Doctor froze in his tracks as the words became audible. Surely they weren't...I mean, Jim and Spock? Vulcans were so strange about sexual intercourse, surely they couldn't be...he moved just inside the door, eyes wide as he listened.

"Ah! Warn a man before you just shove it in, Spock!"

"I apologize...I was under the impression you were prepared."

"It's a large object to force into a small hole, Spock, it's going to hurt no matter how well prepared I am-"

Bones turned away with a howl of horror, covering his ears. The sounds within fell silent at his string of curses as he retreated, and he had barely gotten out the door before two shadows fell upon his own.

"Bones? What are you doing here?" Kirk asked, and the Doctor turned around grudgingly to find both his commanding officers standing there looking...not at all abashed. Confused in fact, and almost entirely dressed. Jim was the only one in any kind of state of undress, and his shirt was only missing because his right arm had been placed in a sling.

"I came to check on you...what, ah...what exactly were you two doing?" Bones asked, cursing himself even as the question fled his lips. He didn't want to know-GOD he didn't want to know.

"The Captain had injured himself and did not wish to be given the lecture he is sure to receive anyway about the dangers of a dislocated shoulder. I rectified this problem by relocating the injured limb myself," Spock answered coolly, and Jim winced as he rested a hand on the wounded joint. Bones looked between them, and the Captain flinched preemptively as he prepared for the verbal lashing he was doubtless about to receive.

"You were...resetting his shoulder?" The doctor verified, and the Vulcan nodded curtly.

"And...that's all you were doing?" Bones sounded oddly apprehensive, and Jim raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"You sound disappointed, Doctor," he teased, and Bones actually laughed as a wave of relief rushed over him.

"Just glad I misheard you for once, Jim."

"What was that Bones?"

"Nothing, Jim. Now let me see that shoulder of yours."

Gotta love dem Bones.

I'm really serious about taking suggestions. If you have a tribble you'll just die without shoot me a review or a PM and I will make it so. Because I love you guys and I'm always looking for ideas. *kisses*

I must be dreaming
Or we're onto something
I must be dreaming
For I don't fall in love lawlessly
I must be dreaming
Or pinch me to waking
So undeniably yours
As long as I'm losing it so completely