May 24th, 2008

It's hard to believe, but I actually called my dad and asked to stay there for the summer. I told him what was happening with Casey, and he said that I could come back.

So I'm back. Nate and I broke up, and I left Casey for the second time in my life.

The good news is that my dad divorced my step-mom after the family court hearing. I guess that brightened up my day.

I'm glad that I left before it was too late for me. I had to save myself, just like Casey had to when Charlie wasn't taking his meds.

I hate how everything in my life is so similar to my sister, sometimes.

Danielle and her father were watching Tv when the phone rang. He got up from the chair and walked to the other side of the room to answer the phone.

"Hello? Yes, this is her father. Oh no.Thank you for calling, Bye."

He hung up the phone and looked at Danielle. She knew that he was not happy; he actually looked like he was going to cry.

"What's wrong?" Danielle asked.

"Your sister, Casey, she tried to...kill herself..."

He couldn't say anything else; he walked out of the room and walked up the stairs. Danielle couldn't believe it and started crying. She realized that it might be her fault that she tried to kill herself, and that she realized that she had to be there for her sister.

A few hours later, Danielle's dad was walking down the stairs and was getting ready for work. But he saw a note with his work things. He picked it up and read it:

"Dad,

I'm going back to NYC to see how Casey is doing. Please don't get mad at me for borrowing the car, because it might have been my fault that she tried to kill herself. Call me if you need anything! I'll be back by tomorrow night, I promise.

Love, Danielle"

He weakly smiled to himself,picked up the phone in the kitchen, and called Danielle.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me" he said

"Hey dad, you're not mad at me for borrowing the car, are you?"Danielle asked.

"No, because I know that I would do the same thing. What time do you think you'll be home tomorrow?"

"I'll be home around ten or eleven."

"Sounds good to me" he said.

"Okay, bye dad."

May 26th, 2008

I can't believe this is happening. I guess when I left; she went into a depressive state and tried to kill herself.

I called the hospital when I was near New Haven. They said they she had alcohol poisoning along with a big cut on her left wrist. The doctor said that she was lucky and that if she cut her wrist any deeper, she wouldn't be able to use her left hand. The doctor also recommended that Casey should be admitted into a mental facility for a few months.

But I know what it feels like; I know now how Casey felt with Charlie. I feel the guilt she felt when she had to leave, and when he was killed by a bus. This guilt is unbearable for me; I should have stayed with her, even though she would have still driven me crazy. It would have been costly for the both of us either way if I stayed: I would have killed myself or Casey would have attempted to murder me because I was getting on her nerves.

I don't want to feel this guilt like she did; it's too much for me, especially when I still haven't taken my medication.

I'm going to visit Casey now.

The nurse showed Danielle the room. She thanked the nurse and walked in, shutting the door behind her.

Danielle walked up to Casey, but she found that Casey was sleeping. She grabbed the chair from the other side of the room, moved the chair next to Casey's bed, and sat down. She watched Casey sleep; she only wondered what would have happened if Danielle actually took her sister to Bellview. Even if Casey didn't have her job as a lawyer, she would still have her sanity. Danielle grabs the locket that she has worn everyday since she got in three years ago. She opened the locket and looked at the picture of Casey carrying Danielle on her back after graduation. Danielle started crying; they looked so happy.

After she started crying, Casey was slowly opening her eyes. It didn't look like it; but Casey was surprised to see her younger sister sitting next to her.

"Danielle? I didn't think you'd be here."

"Casey, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you" Danielle said "I feel so guilty. I feel like I caused you to attempt to kill yourself."

"That's not true" Casey said "It wasn't you; it was the fact that I hurt you that got to me, but it wasn't just that either..."

"What happened?"Danielle asked.

"My law license is suspended for a year and a half" Casey said "That was the major reason why I tried to kill myself. I mean, what the hell am I suppose to do for a year and a half?"

"I know that you shouldn't have given up" Danielle said "Or at least the Casey I knew wouldn't have given up like this."

Danielle looked down and started to cry. When she started crying again, she reached for the Kleenex and wiped her eyes.

"I'm sorry about what happened this month, Danielle. I'm sorry I made you leave…"

"Don't blame yourself" Danielle said quietly "It was my choice to leave, not yours. I wish I could have helped you…"

"But you had to save yourself"

Danielle looked up at sister, and realized that Casey knew what she was talking about.

"I'm not stupid, Danielle" Casey said "I had to save myself before Charlie did anymore damage to me almost six years ago. I know what you're going through right now; I was in the same position…"

"But this is different" Danielle explained "You left your ex-fiance, and yes, it did have an effect. But it doesn't compare to me leaving my sister. This is different; you can't just leave your sibling behind. 

You've been a great sister and been there for the eighteen years of my life,even when you weren't there with me. You were there when I was crashing, why couldn't I do the same?"

"You couldn't because this is more serious than your condition" Casey replied "Besides, I'm the older one. The older sibling usually has a better idea on how to watch out for the younger one."

"It doesn't matter if you're the older sibling or not" Danielle explained "You're my sister, and nothing is ever going to change that."