TITLE – Kaichou Wa Cringy Sama. 1/4(or 5)
SUMMARY- Its cringing time! :D
GENRE - Crinedy.
RATINGS- T++++ (Might border M for you. You have been warned!)
ALSO NOTE, IT HAS SOME 18+ WORDS USED!
PAIRINGS – Poli X Poly. (Notice the Pun? :3 You cannot XD.)
COMPLEXITY – VARYING. O(N) – O(N^3)
AUTHORS NOTE- Before reading, one quick Q. What ending would you guys want to my next game breaking oneshot "Ships in the Night." Tragedy (Char Death) or Happy ending? Send answers in PM ONLY (as to maintain suspense :3)
Misaki was sitting on the library computer, researching for the next Biology assignment. She peered over the list of viva questions, completely unaware of some perverted blonde sitting far in some corner of the room, devotionally doing his job of stalking her with all eyes and ears.
Misaki had marked down the questions which she couldn't answer or get from textbook, and now was her time to search for the answers. She opened the old version of Internet Explorer, smiling as she wondered how fast this thing was. Clicking on web address bar, she waited fifteen seconds for it to be ready to take inputs. After that, she began typing the address of most popular search engine.
www . Joojle . com.
"Hmm… so what was the question?" She asked herself as she looked at the assignment sheet Reading it, She began typing the question,
"How is Mitochondria a powerhouse of cell."
"And, Enter." She said as she hit the key. Immediately, after five minutes, the page started loading. And another five minutes later it showed the results.
"Okay…" Misaki said as she opened a link and began noting down the answer. However, when she had finished noting, something in corner of the screen caught her eye.
"Naughty Prez- Latest fanfictions of 'Kaichou Wa Maid Sama' – Misaki, who serves as a maid in a café, has a naughty side too!~~"
A feeling of anxiety gripped her heart. She didn't understand that. Her name…HER NAME was on screen along with "works as a maid."
D-Did…someone leak my secret?
She tried to swallow the lump in her throat, and then with a thumping heart, she clicked on the advertisement, which redirected her to some fanfiction site.
" www . VeryVeryInnocent Fanfictions. Net" Misaki read the name to herself. "A strange name…" She remarked.
As the page opened, she read the admins blog.
"Welcome to Very Very Innocent Fanfictions . net! Here we bring you the most 'innocent' fanfictions the manga and anime series of "Kaichou Wa Maid Sama" where the student president Misaki serves as part time Maid. Hope you enjoy!
Yours Most Innocently,
Vijju123 :D "
"So…there is a full anime and manga on me?!" She gasped, "Not to mention these many fanfictions?!"
She then looked at the list of fanfictions.
1. Innocent Love – By- CuteLittleGirl
Summary- Misaki's TRUE side! One which only Takumi knows!
Misaki frowned.
Even this perverted alien's name is here…
She looked back at the admin's blog to find that the male lead was a perverted blonde from England named Takumi. Why was he the male protagonist? It felt a lot strange to her. A whole anime and manga series on her and her life, and she did not know!
She was now curious. What could have been written on her? And what was her true side which only Takumi knew? With an intent to read, she clicked on the link.
"Cute Little Girl, huh?" She wondered, "Well…I wonder what she might have written about me!" She said as she began reading it.
"Hello guys and gals-"
"Gals?" She raised eyebrow on that.
" I am a Cute Little Girl aged XOXO HAHA YOU THINK ME CRAZY? I WONT REVEAL MY AGE ON INTERNET #DEALWITHIT!"
Misaki had a dafaq face as she read onwards.
"So well, this fic is about how Misaki REALLY is, so that we all can know her better! Rate fav and share!"
"That's the end of author's note." She said as she began reading the story.
'Misaki and Takumi were on their way to school, with Misaki holding tightly on his hand-'
"WHAT?!" She shouted. Takumi, who was stalking her from a corner, was extremely confused as he looked at her. She was lucky that they were alone in the library, else she'd had got a detention.
'-because she was afraid of the grey clouds on the sky-'
"WHAT THE EFFING EFF?!" She outburst on it. Who the FUCK was afraid of grey clouds in sky?
"Misaki? Something wrong?" Takumi asked from a corner, making Misaki flinch. She certainly did not want him to know about what she found. She tried to pretend cool.
"Haha. Yeah…all right." She tried to laugh.
"Your periods are on?-"
"YOU PERVERTED SON OF B!TCH" She immediately shut him and threw the pencil box at him.
"That's much better." He casually smiled and went on reading the novel (and stalking her) as if nothing happened.
Misaki's eye twitched. She must be careful on not attracting Takumi's reaction. God knows what this alien would do if he found out this stuff…
Frowning upon what happened till now, she continued reading.
' While they were walking, Misaki slipped and fell backwards on ground on her bouncy butts.'
"…" She couldn't form any coherent speech.
Did I just read bouncy in front of butts…
She sub-consciously took a hand to her backside…and pinched it…
All bones and no meat… She sighed.
'Misaki fell on the hard ground. The Rock hard ground. The very, very hard ground!'
"Three sentences…same thing. Tell her something on eating up words."
" "Misaki! Are you okay?" Takumi said as he stretched his hand to help her pick up.
"I can get up myself" She said."
"That's more like it!" Misaki muttered.
" She was strong girl….She was very strong girl…She MUST not behave like a damsel in distress…
But it HURT so much!
She shut her eyes as tears of pain began to flow from her eyes-"
"WTF?!"
" "Misaki!" Takumi cried in alarm.
"I-I am f-fine..." Misaki's voice croaked and it felt like she was about to cry.
She didn't want to. She was a strong girl…but if just HURT SO MUCH.
She sniffed and within a second, broke into tears and started sobbing out of pain-
"
"RIDICULOUS!" She cried as her eyes widened, "I fall on my butts all the time, but I NEVER cried on that!" She frowned. "GIRLS ARE NOT THIS WEAK!"
" "Misaki…" Takumi said as he picked her up bridal style. " You're hurt." He said."
"Pervert Obvious to my rescue?" She scoffed.
" "I am taking you to the hospital!" He ordered. He then tore off his uniform shirt and wrapped it tightly around her knee."
"Wait…Didn't I fell buttwise? How did the knee got hurt?"
" "B-But Takumi…" She said. "We will get late for school…"
"I am paying." He said as he began taking her to the hospital.
"Then fine!" She cheered up and smiled. "
"…"
"…..."
"…..."
No words could come out of her mouth.
Misaki couldn't. No matter how hard she tried. She couldn't. It felt that part of her brain just died suddenly.
"I am skipping this…" She declared as she scrolled down.
"
Takumi bought Misaki to the hospital and doctor was now examining her.
"As I suspected." The doctor said. "She has a fracture in her arm-
"
"What…the…ACTUAL FUCK?!" Misaki screamed internally.
She took deep breaths to calm herself.
"So…" She said, "Let me summarise this…" She took a breath, "Me and Takumi are going to school, holding hands, and I somehow still fall, on my 'so-called bouncy' butts, get hurt in my knee and a fracture in my arm cause of that…"
She shook her head. "Biology would be cruel on her…"
She clicked the backward button, and started scrolling through the list. She couldn't read that fiction any further. She saw that the fic had received a review. She clicked on 'Show Review' button to read them
" Misaki-chan – OH MY GOD! SO LOVELY! PLZZZZ WRITE MORE OMG I AM CRYING!"
"…..."
She clicked the back button, trying to control her cringing and was soon back at the list. She decided to read any other fiction.
Her eyes then scroll over to the next one-
Title- The Naughty Prez – By – ChickWithDick
Summary- Misaki is being VERY NAUGHTY at Takumi's apartment!
"…What does she mean…?" Misaki asked herself, "And whats up with that…peculiar name." She thought. There was only one way to find out…to read it.
" Hi guys! I am ChickWithDick *wink*-
"I am skipping the intro…" Misaki said as a very uncomfortable feeling engulfed her. She scrolled down, to a random portion of the story.
"Misaki entered the bathroom, opened the zip of her panties as she approached the bowel-
"?!"
"pulled out her dick-
"!" Misaki's eyes widened tenfold as she felt a very weird feeling in her mind.
" and as she was naughty, she made sure to pee all over the bowel and wet it completely, because heck! She doesn't have to clean it.-
"NOT READING THIS." She said as she stomped the back button, "SOMEONE TELL THIS AUTHOR THAT GIRLS DON'T HAVE…THAT...THAT BOY 'THING'!"
When she was back at the list, she saw that this story had 1500 favs, 1000 followers and over 100 reviews. She clicked on the review button with a WTF face.
" 1. Twisted_Mindzz – WOWWW! YOU LEFT ME SPEECHLESS!
"It left even me speechless..."
2. CuteLittleGirl- Oh goddddd! SOO NICE! KEEP IT UP!"
"This review section is cancerous." She said.
She then went back, and started scrolling at the list of fics. However, what she didn't know was, that she was increasingly arousing Takumi's curiosity as he found her acting strange.
After scrolling through few fics, when suddenly her eyes were caught on a cute profile pic of an picture had a very cute baby, perhaps a year old, playing with drumsticks and sitting on a drum.
"so cute…" She said as she clicked on the author link, to check his profile.
"PROFILE MESSAGE-
YEAHHH BITCH!"
Misaki visibly frowned.
" FIRST I BANG THIS DRUM,
THEN I BANG YO MUM. _l_"
"YOUUUUUUU" Misaki started shaking with anger, and would have smashed a bat on the pc screen, had she not caught a blonde staring confused at her.
Act normal…Act Normal…
She took a few deep breaths to keep her cool.
After reporting that author, she moved on. The next thing catching her eye was the fic "Swag Waali Topi."
"What does this mean?" She said as she looked at it.
" Title – Swag Waali Topi (The Cap of Swag!)
"Oh! Its something in author's native language." She remarked, "And meaning is given in brackets. Good practice!" She said and then looked at author. Her profile pic was of a girl riding an expensive bike on a green, grassy road.
"Wow. "She said, impressed "I think this is a must read."
"Title – Swag Waali Topi (The Cap of Swag!) – By- Dhinchak_Pooja! (Hip-Hop_Pooja)
Summary- Misaki has a 'Swag Waali Topi" which everybody wanna copi . !
"Haha," Misaki laughed, "There is a minor mis-spelling. But this one looks cool." She said as she clicked the link to read it.
Word Count- 10,438.
" Oh god! Its over 10,000 words?! What has she written? She must be talented…"
"So gaaayeess, naat much wid enntro! LETS ROCK N ROLL! Read Misaki blowing your mind with her melody – Swag Waali Topi!
"Did I read it right…?" Misaki said to herself. "Read Misakiblowing your mind with her melody"
"Please see. Inglish my ten language. Please don't point-pin grammer arror."
"…."
" Takumi were standinged in the elley whan he see Misaki cumming.
"…"
"….."
"Please…at least DON'T mis-spell 'coming' like that…" She pleaded.
" and she wiering was also a topi! Takumi all blown a way with awesome ness of Misaki topi. She also wier blak spec and google and also a swag cap. She looking swag. "
"Okay…at least its understandable." She said, "I guess this 'topi' means cap."
" Misaki you so osum. Takumi saying to Misaki as he imperessed with Misaki topi."
"sshh…." She hissed.
" No. Misaki say.
I will now show you my SWAG WAALI TOPI !
She then start sing ing.
SWAG WAALI TOPI MY SWAG WAALI TOPI
YEAH SWAG WAALI TOPI! YEAH SWAG WAALI TOPI!
EVERYBODY TRY TO COPY MY SWAG WAALI TOPI
EVERYBODY WAANAA COPY THIS SWAG WAALI TOPI
SWAG WAALI TOPI MY SWAG WAALI TOPI
OI! SWAP WAALI TOPI MY SWAP WAALI TOPI! "
"…" She was finding it hard to read further now.
"SWAG WAALI TOPI MY SWAG WAALI TOPI
YEAH SWAG WAALI TOPI! YEAH SWAG WAALI TOPI!
EVERYBODY TRY TO COPY MY SWAG WAALI TOPI
EVERYBODY WAANAA COPY THIS SWAG WAALI TOPI
SWAG WAALI TOPI MY SWAG WAALI TOPI
OI! SWAP WAALI TOPI MY SWAP WAALI TOPI!
SWAG WAALI TOPI MY SWAG WAALI TOPI
YEAH SWAG WAALI TOPI! YEAH SWAG WAALI TOPI!
EVERYBODY TRY TO COPY MY SWAG WAALI TOPI
EVERYBODY WAANAA COPY THIS SWAG WAALI TOPI
SWAG WAALI TOPI MY SWAG WAALI TOPI
OI! SWAP WAALI TOPI MY SWAP WAALI TOPI!
SWAG WAALI TOPI MY SWAG WAALI TOPI
YEAH SWAG WAALI TOPI! YEAH SWAG WAALI TOPI!
EVERYBODY TRY TO COPY MY SWAG WAALI TOPI
EVERYBODY WAANAA COPY THIS SWAG WAALI TOPI
SWAG WAALI TOPI MY SWAG WAALI TOPI
OI! SWAP WAALI TOPI MY SWAP WAALI TOPI!
.
.
.
.
"
"HECK!" Misaki shouted, as she furiously rolled down "SHE HAS JUST COPY PASTED THIS PHRASE LIKE, A HUNDRED TIMES?!"
After a minute of scrolling, she finally reached the end of the fic.
"
.
.
.
MY SWAG WAALI TOPI!
O MY GAWD MISAKI. SAED TAKUMI. YOUR SWAG WAALI TOPI I ALL SO WAN NA COPI ! PLZZZ MARRI ME.
OK. SAED MISAKI.
END.!
I so tyred nw gaayes! It was long riting jawb. Now I go sliip. nite."
Misaki felt like crying.
"Why so cruel on me? "She cursed her luck of choosing to read this fic. However, she then saw that this had 8 reviews. She started getting curious on what others might have said on it.
"Nothing could be worse than this fic…" She said to herself as she clicked the 'Show Review' button to read how the community reacted to the fic.
"
1. YOUR_OWN_DHICHKUN! (Your own fan)
OH GAWD DHINCHAK POOJA! U SO TALANTED! I CUD FIIL HER MELODY VOICE! U NEED OF CENTURY U ROCKSTAR POOJA! YOU GAWDESSS! PLZ RITE MORE & MORE POOJA. I LOVE U! U SWAG! MARRI ME PLZZZ.
"
Misaki felt her brain cells died on reading that. …
.
.
.
.
.
.
And suddenly it struck her- the style of writing was eerily familiar with the author's. That author reviewed her OWN work.
She frowned, and decided to read more reviews.
"
2. A paralyzed boy.
I don't know about the review above mine, but my dick shortened by 2 inches after reading this and suffered permanent paralysis. I think I am disabled for life now….PLZ don't write again! _/ \_
"
"Lol…" Misaki couldn't help but giggle at that. Totally roasted that author! However, she saw that the next few reviews were by author herself, from her id!
"
3. Dhinchak Pooja
A paralyzed boy – Don't be jealous! Be inspired! :)))) ^_^ :D
4. A ALMOST dead boy-
Dhinchak Pooja- One can neither be inspired nor jealous of you.
"
"Lol…"
"
5. Dhinchak_Pooja
What is this #Prime Minister of the country! This is outrajious! Is this how womyn are tricked n treated in your cunt ree. This pee poles are her assing mi and u aal do nothing. #Bik_Gayi_hai_gormint ('Gormint' (government) has sold itself)
6. Dhinchak Pooja
I will never let a hard lesson harden my heart!
7. Dhinchak Pooja-
#Haters Gonna Hate!
8. Pardesi Girl (Foreign Girl)
The quality is so low, my sister caught brain cancer after reading this."
"Pffft!" Misaki giggled. "Serves her right!
"Misaki!" Takumi called," What. Are. You. Doing?" He said as he gave a long, continuous stare to her.
"N-Nothing…" She said, but he then got up and starting coming towards her.
"You're lying." He said sternly and was almost upto her.
Oh no…! Misaki cursed her fate
END OF PART 1.
AUTHORS NOTE – Well, this was one of the series I wanted to post and complete in December, but well, things happened and I decided to delay it. Please note, it has some explicit language, so I would only continue if you're all comfortable or are enjoying. So please tell if you want its next chaps or not.
Future chaps currently have Takumi and Hinata's review and another chap of Misaki's. So yeah, its ¼ (tho Misaki's part may be split into 2 cause its long.)
Please note, ALL AUTHOR'S HERE ARE IMAGINARY. ANY RESEMBLANCE IS STRICTLY A CO-INCIDENCE.
THE INSTANCES IN FANFICS, ARE HOWEVER, NOT ALL IMAGINARY AND MOST ARE BASED ON THE TYPE AND KIND OF FICS I USED TO JUDGE. Eg- The CuteLittleGirl one was based on an entry to the writing contest I judged when I was 13. Of course, real one was in a much worse condition! XD
The dhinchak Pooja thing is taken from youtube. She is an actual youtuber who posted 2 songs. Indian people or guys who know hindi, do watch Carriminati's roasting dhinchak Pooja (type it and it will be first video on list) and just watch it. You'd then find what I wrote on her part much more interesting XD. (This swag wali topi is taken from her song's lyrics. XD)
Yes, some parts in Hindi were included as most of the good reviewers know hindi. :D
And btw, thank you guys, OUR Maid Sama crossed 7500 views today (3k views from US alone…). Its currently 7600, a rapid growth. But I'd say do keep commenting. I will say that if you're reading 12 chaps, at least comment and let me know how you felt. Cause yeah, I keep analysing stuff. This inclusion of Hindi parts in this and future chaps were also a result of analysis done earlier in Jan (where I found most of reviewers are indian/neighbouring while most viewers are US )
And regarding that huge copy paste of "Swap Waali Topi" Lyrics...Readers were expected to deduce that same thing is being copy pasted and they could skip over that XD. Why else would it be there in such a strange, unreadable manner?
And, I guess that's it. I would have written more but I m sick atm. High fever. Sucks. But anyway, I will deal with it. Cyu all guys. Bye :).