Ode To A Friend

Shifting through the files I was pissed. She wasn't answering my calls. Didn't she understand? Why does she keep doing this? Then I found the folder on the Sons of Anarchy, there must be something here. There must be. Scanning through the records in the file I came across a name that was familiar. I pulled Tara's file again. There is was Jackson Teller. Jackson, son of a bitch! This was the guy, this was the reason she wouldn't settle down with me. This was why she went running back. Well I was going to take care of things and get her back here with me. Where she belonged.

I don't mind if you stay longer. You have not been any trouble. I don't want you to go home yet, can you stay just ten more minutes.

It had been a long week, I was looking forward to finishing my shift and going to the Taste of Charming event that Gemma was in charge of. Ellie and Grace had hit it off at school pretty quickly, and Donna had stopped over the other evening asking if Grace could spend the night at the Winston house. The look on Grace's face was enough to make me agree, and Donna's excitement to rekindle our friendship. Donna said they would pick both girls up from school, and that on Saturday they were planning to attend the Taste of Charming since Gemma talked Opie into using his pyrotechnic skills to do the firework display. Figured meeting them there to see the fireworks and playing nice with Gemma would be a good thing.

Earlier I had seen Wendy when she was finishing up with some of the lawyers for the hospital. She had been unconscious from the overdose and now that she was awake the hospital wanted to make sure there would be no liability issues before she was sent for rehab. Wendy looked at me and laughed.

"The two women who loved Jackson Teller," she laughed again "Could we be at more opposite ends of the shit spectrum?"

I asked her what she meant by that and she stated that if I didn't know then we weren't as different as I thought. Her statement bothered me, but she didn't know that Jax had been spending time with Grace and I. When he wasn't with the club, then he was with Abel and he welcomed Grace to spend time with him as well. A couple of times he brought her home while I finished a shift and they had dinner and I got leftovers. The two of them seemed to be bonding and it was nice to see Grace getting to know her father. I knew I needed that bond to happen so that when I told Jax about Josh his commitment to her would guarantee her safety.

As much as I hoped I wouldn't need to have the conversation, it was becoming clear that I would need to have it soon. Yesterday morning I found pink rose petals on my windshield. At first I ignored it. Thinking it was only a few petals and they could have gotten there any number of ways. I had even received a photo of Jax and some random blonde in an envelope delivered to me at the hospital. That couldn't be ignored by some random occurrence. Later that afternoon while walking back from the cafe content on heading toward the NICU, I suddenly felt like I was living a personal nightmare. Sitting in one of the chairs looking down the hallway in my direction was Josh. I began to mentally freak out.

"What are you doing here?" I asked trying to keep my voice from shaking. David had said that my restraining order was still good.

"Can we talk? I just wanted to give you a heads up. Let you know I'm in town. I'm here on business." Josh said with his hands up in a defensive position.

"What business?"

"It's an interstate weapons case. I shouldn't be telling you this. Originated in South Chicago, big arms deal led back here. Sons of Anarchy are involved."

"The rose petals and the sick photo, they business too?" I snapped. I was so tired of being scared of him. And deep down I knew, Jax would kill him if he knew anything about him.

"No. I just know you really love pink roses." He said so confidently I wanted to scream at him that I disliked roses, and hated the pink ones. He knew so little about me, all he knew was this image he had created in his mind about what I was like, a delusion really.

"And I don't want to see you get hurt, Tara, not by that guy."

"I'm not with him."

"First love dies hard."

"That restraining order is still in effect. You come near my house or you come to my work again, and I will file a police report."

"Actually, my federal jurisdiction takes precedence over a state-ordered mandate. But I understand how you feel. I promise, no more contact. It's been good talking to you. I miss that." He then proceeded to walked down the hallway away from me.

Today I had not heard from him, I had hoped that maybe he was just in the area on business. A small part of me knew that it was too good to be true. And once I got to the Taste of Charming event I realized why. Walking through the field of the school where the event was taking place there were booths set up for food and crafts for sale. There was a booth with raffle tickets, one for face painting, at another Bobby 'Elvis' one of the members of the motorcycle club was doing his Elvis impersonation while working with kids who were dressed as Elvis also. There were different event for kids, my eyes fell on Grace quickly as she participated in a water balloon toss game with Ellie and her brother. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Gemma keeping watch while tending her famous chili at a booth. Then her gaze went to a booth across the way, the one the Charming Police Department were running. There some of the officers who were not on duty were grilling burgers, hot dogs and sausages. David Hale was there in his uniform talking away to a man with his back turned at the grill. I recognized him right away. It was Josh. I froze where I was. Oh shit. I needed to get to Grace. Maybe he didn't know she was here. But what if he did? Something caused the hair to stand on the back of my neck. I could see Josh, but he hadn't seen me, but I felt the stare. Gemma. She had seen me, my face I am sure registered my concern. She watched me. Come on Tara get it together, I chastised myself.

Being sure to blend I headed toward Donna and the kids. Grace's eyes met mine once I sat down by Donna. Hers flicked briefly in the direction of where Josh was, and I just nodded. She continued playing. Donna wrapped an arm around me and my heart warmed. I had missed her so much while we had been gone.

"Hi." She said and I could hear her smile. I patted her hand that was on my shoulder.

"Hi. Thanks for bringing her. How was she? Not too much of a problem I hope. I'm so glad she and Ellie hit it off." I tried to sound relaxed.

"She was great. God Ellie hasn't been so happy in a long time. Op even seemed to lighten up. I think he has been so worried about the kids and making sure they are doing alright since he got out that he has been on edge." She said and then sighed while watching the kids.

"Got out? What happened?" I knew even when we were kids that Samcro came with the possibility of being on the wrong side of the law. I had seen the inside of a cell a time or two thanks to one Jackson Teller.

"He was found suspiciously wandering near a warehouse that caught fire. Apparently he had some kind of residue on him that matched what caused the fire. He was gone for five years. I know it had something to do with the club. Everything has to do with the damn club. When he came out I made him promise to earn straight, but we have been living hand to mouth. Gemma even bought some of my groceries one day when I couldn't afford everything I had. I had them take off what wasn't essential and when I was getting into the car Gemma came knocking on the window. She had a bag in her hand with all the things I hadn't been able to pay for. " She spoke frankly. I could tell that she hadn't had anyone to talk to about these things. I was glad I could be here for her now. It almost took my mind off the fact that Josh was here.

"What really gets me," Donna began and gestured in the direction of a man with a young girl not much older than Ellie and Grace, "That guy got out. I know he was with the club when Op was arrested. But he left. He hasn't been around in a while, not that I can recall. I think Kyle is his name. But if he could do it, then I think Op should be able to do it too."

You are my best friend. I don't know how I'd live. How I love you every square inch. Love your brown eyes, your forgiveness.

I nodded, and squeezed her hand. Jax appeared with Opie carrying materials for the fireworks. The man that Donna had pointed out noticed them as well. He spoke to the girl and sent her over to a woman, possibly her mother while he walked toward Jax and Opie. After a moment Jax gave the two of them a nodded, and he headed toward the equipment for the fireworks while they headed into the school. Donna seemed to get some surge of determination as we watched this. She stood and headed toward Jax, I wanted to allow her the chance to say whatever she felt she needed to say to him, but I felt the need to stay close to them, on the chance that Josh took notice of me being here. I positioned myself so that I could see the kids, and feel Jax's presence without it being too obvious.

Kenny began playing with some of the boys running around with squirt guns. He managed to squirt Jax a couple of times before running off toward the girls.

"Little Harry looks like he knows his way around a gun." There was a joking tone to Jax's voice, but it appeared to be lost on Donna. "I'm kidding."

"Thanks for the crib money. Any little bit helps right now."

"Yeah, I get how rough it is for you guys. I know you've always had trouble wrapping your head around the M.C. life, but Samcro is the only..."There was concern in his voice. I wonder how bad it was for Donna. Could I have handled this?

"Your mom's already given me the "Samcro is the glue" speech." Donna sounded annoyed, this must have been what she was talking about when she mentioned the groceries.

"I'm not talking about you and Samcro. I'm talking about you and Ope."

"What happens with me and Opie is no one's business."

"You're wrong. He's my best pal. I love that guy more than anyone. But I see what's happening to him, and it scares the shit out of me. Opie can't be half in, half out. It'll get him killed, Donna."

"Then I want him out. That other guy got out, Kyle."

"Kyle was kicked out. You know why? Cause the night Opie was arrested for blowing up that truck yard, Kyle was supposed to be his getaway ride. Only that asshole panicked when he heard sirens."

"He left Opie behind. Opie never said anything."

"Cause Opie's not a rat. Brothers don't turn on each other. He did the time. It's what we do. Opie will never walk away from the club. We both know that. He's like me. It's all we know. It's in our DNA. If you keep pulling him in the other direction...We're not the glue, Donna. You are. " Jax's phone rang ending the conversation. Moments later he was headed toward the school, in search of Opie.

Donna come over toward me, she looked more frustrated than before. She stopped and crossed her arms standing next to me watching the kids. I decided she needed to take her mind of off of things.

"You want to hear something really shitty?" I asked. Part of me knew telling her would take a weight off my chest, but at what cost?

"You mean something shittier that being told in a roundabout way that my husband will never be free of Samcro? Sure bring it on." She gave a half hearted laugh. Clearly she needed a friend as much as I did right now.

"We need to sit, this is going to take a while." I directed her to a spot where I could see Grace, Josh and feel Gemma's glare on me as well. I let out a sigh as I watched the girls playing.

"Do you see the guy over at the CPD booth, at the grill talking to David?" I asked without actually looking up at him.

"The one wearing the 'kiss the cook' apron? What about him?" Donna looked over and then turned to me, her eyes penetrated me almost the same as Gemma's. How had I let go of my best friend? Why did I think that leaving her behind would be better?

"I would tell you that this stays between us, but if you and Opie are anything like you were when we were teenagers, he'll know before the sunsets." I said with a bit of a grin. Donna faked shock at my statement, but said nothing allowing me to continue.

"His name is Josh Kohn. He is an ATF agent. We dated briefly in Chicago. I have a restraining order out against him." Once I said it her head whipped from me to looking in Josh's direction. She listened to the rest of what I told her, and it made me sad for the time that I had lost with her. When I was done she hugged me, and then said the one thing I already knew but hearing it from her made it that much more real.

"You need to tell Jax. And you should probably tell David who his new best friend really is." Donna said looking over at Josh who seemed to have finally figured out I was here. I refused to look in his direction, I wouldn't have him thinking that he had any chance at slithering back into my life.

"Um, just a heads up. Gemma has clearly noticed something." Donna said to me and this caused me to turn and look in her direction. She was talking to Chief Unser and they both were looking in the direction of Josh, who was clearly looking at me.

"Oh geez. Just what I need. She'll be on this to no end now. How about you just put me out of my misery. " I sighed and turned back to watch the girls who were sitting in the grass, heads together almost conspiring. I remember when that was Donna and I. I sighed again.

"You know, I'd still go all Gemma for you. Bury the body where no one could find it. Just because you went away for a while doesn't mean you aren't still one of my best friends." Donna bumped my shoulder with hers. "I missed you. I would have been there for you if you had reached out to me. I'm still here for you."

I could feel the tears filling my eyes. I turned and looked at her, I could see that she meant it. "I'm so sorry I left like I did. I wish I could take it all back. I wish that I had held on to our friendship. Maybe if I had, I wouldn't have ended up with the shit I got myself into." I sniffled and then Donna hugged me and I hugged her back. "I'd go all Gemma for you too." With that said we both laughed, knowing that if Gemma ever knew that we compared becoming ridulously protective, and supportive of the people we cared about going 'Gemma' she would probably want to do bodily harm to us, and then take credit for it should the phrase catch on.

Don't go home now. It's past midnight. You can sleep here, we'll have breakfast. Yes.

It was while we were locked in our hug that the three men emerged from the school, Opie made his way over to us and Jax headed toward Gemma, stopping briefly to grab Bobby on the way. When he got to Gemma she looked pissed. We couldn't hear any of what she was saying to Jax, but body language said it all. Then it was like Jax could sense Josh's eyes on him, he turned toward the booth. And then back to Gemma. Opie joined us and shook his head as he saw us watching the scene between Gemma and Jax.

"The shit's gonna hit the fan over this." Opie said more to himself watching the mother and son.

"Why?" I asked. Clearly he knew what was going on. I noticed he looked a little beat up. Donna didn't say anything. Maybe she was used to it. I bit my tongue not to say anything.

"Jax and the guys need to go help Clay out with something. That means the Gemma will be down man power. And you know what she is like when she doesn't get her way." Opie looked like he calculating something in his head. Then without looking at us he said "Who's the guy with Hale?"

"How do you do that?" Donna asked, clearly this was not the first time Opie had done something like this to her.

"Really babe, you should know by now. I learned quick to watch my back so that I could get home to you and the kids. I notice way more than you realize. Besides, he has been eyeballing Tara since she got here. And just gave Jax the stink eye as he walked over to Gemma. Clearly he is someone. So just tell me. Because you know that I will find out. " Opie began watching the kids.

"Tara, you should tell him." Donna said grabbing my hand. "If you don't I will. I don't want to see either you or Jackson Grace hurt." This part of the statement got Opie's full attention.

I sighed and then laid it all out for Opie, Donna holding my hand the whole time, like we hadn't gone ten years without each other's friendship. Opie listened, silent just like his father had been. But unlike Piney I saw something in his eyes that made me nervous. Something menacing. Donna must have seen it too.

"Harry Winston, you better listen to me. Don't you go running your mouth to Jackson Teller, or his mother. And stay away from that fed. You let Tara handle things with Jax. I mean it. If you do something that gets you sent away for good, I will kill you myself." Donna poked him in the chest with her finger. The look in his eyes seemed to lessen, but then he looked me straight in the eye.

"You better tell Jax, and soon. I won't keep a secret like this from him. He's my best friend, and if that asshole threatens the safety of my best friend's family I won't stand by and just watch." He turned his attention to Donna, "Jax would say the exact same thing if it was the other way around. I gotta get these fireworks ready before Gemma comes after me." And with that Opie started to move away from us.

I couldn't help it when I added half under my breath. "There used to be a time when you counted me among your best friends, not just Jax's tag along." I regretted my words as soon as they were out of my mouth. Opie stopped and turned to look down at Donna and I.

"I have never considered you a tag along. He has always been my best friend. There was a time when I counted you as family. But you are the one who up and left without a word. Jax mourned a broken heart over a girlfriend. I mourned the loss of a sibling." He turned from us and stalked off. Donna assured me that watching the fireworks explode later would make him feel better, and that she felt he had been waiting quite a while to let me have it about taking off like that ten years ago.

"He really did miss you. Give him time. And above all else, stick around." Donna patted my knee.

We sat for a while just taking in everything around us. At one point Josh disappeared and I felt myself relax. I bought some raffle tickets from Luann Delaney, Gemma's best friend.

"Thanks doc. Good luck." She smiled as I handed a couple of tickets to Donna.

The girls came over to the picnic table we were sitting at as the sun was creeping lower in the sky.

"Can we get something to eat please?" Ellie and Grace asked. Donna made a face, and it was clear that she didn't have money on her for this. I had to play it off that I had bought too many raffle tickets and needed her to help me keep with them.

"Hey Donna, you and Op took care of Grace last night. How about I take care of dinner for us tonight? Make it fair. I mean I really owe you. You girls go find out what Kenny wants and then come back so we can get it."

It didn't take the girls long to find Kenny and then drag him back to where we were. I took the kids and under their advisement ordered for the Winston family and Grace and I. Together we brought everything over to where Opie was putting the finishing touches on the fireworks set up.

"I come baring a peace offering of sausage, onion rings, and fried dough." I held out the to-go containers that held the food. He looked at it, a bit unsure what to make of this. "It isn't a bomb, just dinner." Opie took it and sighed.

"Look, no matter what, be careful. We just got you back. I'm not up for you up and disappearing again. And you can't separate a Teller and a Winston once they have bonded. Just keep that in mind." He said and gestured toward the girls.

"I wouldn't dream of it." I said with a smile. "And just so you know, I missed you everyday too."

You are my greatest gift. I don't know how I'd live. You are my saving grace. You are my heart my true friend.