Thom's Chance II Chapter 5
Disclaimer: Not S.M.
A/N: Thanks to anyone who is actually reading this. Sorry about the poor quality- this portion of the story is really about Sasha, not Thom.
Minutes passed. Then hours. Days too.
The only thing that changed was the light on the walls of Sasha's room. I couldn't tell whether I was sitting or standing. The only thing that mattered was that I was surrounded by her home. Her writing. Her books. Her belongings. Her memories. Her experiences.
I didn't blink, I didn't move, I didn't think. One member of my family was always watching me, preventing me from trying to kill myself. Not that I would if I had the chance.
Before I committed suicide, I would bury her body. Or at least obtain significant proof that she was dead. I couldn't risk leaving her behind because of a misunderstanding.
The idea of her broken body, her long, blue-black hair, dark blue eyes, and strong frame withering away from grief at my death was unbearable.
My definition of unbearable had greatly changed in the hours that I sat there, motionless. This existence was bearable... at least until she, either alive or dead, returned. She had to return.
I would go crazy. I was going crazy. The first insane vampire.
Vampire. Vampires were at fault for this no doubt. No, I was at fault for this. I had caused this. Me. Me. Me.
I deserved the pain coursing through my body, worse than any fire, I deserved the inability to move or even feel my limbs.
I stared blankly at the wall, the thoughts of the person I could feel in the doorway not even registering, just as the rest of my sensory in-put had disappeared.
"Thom," That was a male vampire's voice. I didn't remember his name. He wasn't important. He wasn't Sasha. He didn't know where she was. "Read this." He shoved something in front of my face.
It was a notebook. Sasha's notebook, I realized through a thick fog.
"Thom, I can hear your thoughts. I know what you're going through. I've gone through it with Bella," The mention of the girl's name reminded me that this was my brother. His name was Edward.
My eyes focused on the writing and it pierced through the fog, effortlessly reaching me. It was her writing, so I had no problem reading and comprehending it.
I've told Finn and Alai about Thom. They understand. They are vampires as well, of course, and they understand his aversion to blood of any sort. Alai has never had blood. Not once in her existence. Finn found her because he was drawn to the numbing of the thirst that she unconsciously spread around her. Finn doesn't have quite the same level of hate of drinking blood as Thom, but he was always depressed by drinking it and he could never stop himself. Whenever he got too thirsty he became frenzied for blood.
Finn and Alai want to meet Thom. They want to help him. They want to help me as well- make me into a vampire. It would be completely risk free the way we have it planned. Alai will use her gift to keep my transformer from feeling any thirst or frenzy. Finn- or Thom. I want it to be Thom, but its looking unlikely- will bite me. This plan is for any emergency that might happen. I'm hoping that Thom will transform me. Then it would be his venom inside me, but, in a urgent situation, I'll settle for Finn. That will make him really my brother. Which will make Alai my sister-in-law, though Finn and Alai haven't ever actually gotten married.
Finn will do anything to make me happier. He's more of a brother than a friend. I could never live without him now. Finn knows that Thom's struggle and pain and refusal to let me become like him, to help is... well, killing me. Finn told me yesterday that if Thom doesn't agree to change me in the next month, before school starts again, he is coming here with Alai to explain things. Finn insists that this is hurting both of us- that this situation we are living in is dangerous. I keep trying to convince Thom because I want him to make the decision on his own. I want him to decide to keep me around forever without my "big brother" glowering at him, in a very threatening manner.
That will all have to wait, though. Tomorrow I go on a shopping trip with Alice, Thom, and the rest of the Cullens. Alice has arranged every detail, which means it's bound to be a trial.
The page ended. I didn't move.
"Well?" Someone asked impatiently. The voice was female, arrogant, and undeniably selfish. I knew her name, but I didn't try to remember it. "Are you going to get back to your pitiful life now?"
I didn't open my mouth. I was only vaguely aware that she was speaking to me, and not someone else. She wasn't Sasha- she didn't matter.
"Thom? Do you realize what this means?" Another female voice, only this one was kind, motherly, and pained. I knew who she was without even trying. Esme, my adopted mother.
"Sasha went to them with Alice. She's going to turn herself into a vamp." The words came from a big man, that much I could tell from the booming noise they made.
"Emmett," Esme reproved.
I was still unmoving, uncaring. This was just speculation. We didn't know anything concrete. And, at this point, it didn't make any difference whether or not Sasha came back as a vampire or a human, just as long as she came back.
Alice needed to come back too. Now that I had been slightly shaken out of my stupor, I could hear the distressed thoughts of Jasper, who was watching me along with some of my other family. Alice and Sasha had to come back. Neither of us would survive without them. It simply wasn't a possibility.
And if Sasha did come back as a vampire... well, it wouldn't matter. It would still be her, even though her skin would no longer be the open flame it felt like against mine, even though her solid structure would be so much more sturdy and so much less breakable.
Sasha would always be Sasha. Always.
More time passed as I sat there, listening to Jasper's agonized thoughts. His pain was easier to bear than mine was, just because it wasn't my pain. Though it was, indirectly, my fault.
My eyes were closed and I was seriously considering another suicide attempt when I heard the sound of a loud gasp. And then the light footsteps of several vampires racing out of the room and to the first floor.
I didn't care.
Some amount of time later- was it minutes? Or maybe hours?- there was the sound of a large group of vampires ascending the stairs to the room where Jasper and I still stood... or maybe we were sitting.
There was a loud exhale of breath and a sudden, choked sob.
The words were strangled as they hit my ears, taking years to sink into my brain, "Thom! Thom."
As soon as they registered, my eyes were open and my head was turned towards the door.
Sasha, with sparkling granite skin and amber eyes, stood in the doorway, crying tearless sobs.