"Has anyone seen him?"

"I checked his room about an hour ago, and he was drugged and asleep!"

The village was drenched in rain, but the storm had stopped before he'd woken up. His legs had given out several minutes before, and he was kneeling in mud with his hands planted between his knees in order to keep from sprawling completely out on the ground.

The back of his shirt was wet from the blood slowly seeping through the bandage. He knew that he should return to the hospital to get patched up again, but he just couldn't bring himself to stand up.

"Mom….Dad…" He hugged his arms tightly around his body and gasped in pain as his motions pulled at the partially healed wound. "I can't do anything right…."

Raindrops slipped slowly from the leaves around him as he rubbed the back of his hand against his eyes, trying to stem the flow of tears.

"I should have realized what Mizuki was like…. I should have realized what Naruto needed…. I…. I…."

The monument in front of him blurred, and he wiped at his eyes to clear them, but nothing changed. His eyes rolled back in his head, and he collapsed into the mud.

"Uh…." He opened his eyes slowly, recognizing the white patterned ceiling of the hospital.

"Iruka?!"

"Eh, Kakashi-sensei?" He turned his head carefully, but the room still swam. "Ah!"

The silver-haired jounin snagged his wrist and crushed him to his chest. "…died…."

"What?"

"You could have died!" Kakashi griped the chuunin's shoulders tightly, blue eye piercing Iruka's gaze.

All of the emotions burning in Iruka's chest coalesced into a raging ball. "So?!" He snapped at the jounin, still wondering what the enigmatic man was doing at his bedside. "I couldn't help my parents! I couldn't take down Mizuki when he was after Naruto! I couldn't even stop his attack! What kind of chuunin has to step in way of a shuriken instead of diverting it or moving the poor kid it's aimed at or replacing the kid? No chuunin should have to be saved by a pre-genin because he can't even manage to hit another chuunin who's not using any special attacks!" Iruka's eyes narrowed in anger. "So why the hell should you care what I do with my life?!"

He panted at the end of his outburst, and then dropped his eyes to the sheets where he'd fisted his hand into the fabric. He'd said much more than he'd intended to, particularly to this person – all of his self-doubt and pain spilling out in a few short sentences.

"You saved me."

"What?" His head snapped up and around to stare at the jounin.

"You…at the academy." The jounin rubbed his hand across the back of his hair, ruffling the strands subconsciously. "It was a long time ago, after Obito died."

Iruka's eyes widened. He knew the name, but had never heard it spoken allowed and certainly not in Kakashi's presence. He didn't know the whole story, only the rumors that were whispered between kunoichi after the jounin passed by.

"I was in ANBU."

He also hadn't known that. "That was you?"

"I quit right after that." Kakashi was staring at the ground. "The shinobi they sent on what was supposed to be my next mission was stronger and more experienced than me. He never came home." He raised his gaze and met Iruka's eyes directly. "I would not be here if it wasn't for you."

"B-but…. I…. I didn't do anything. I just…." Iruka trailed off, remembering the ANBU collapsed on the floor of the Academy entrance hall. He'd knelt down beside the shaking form and gently pressed his hand against the other boy's shoulder. Nothing more.

I would not be here if it wasn't for you.

Was it possible?

Had he actually managed to do something, anything, right with his life?

Pale fingers encased in a metal-backed glove laced through his as the blanket fell from a nerveless grip. "I need you."

OOOOOOOOO

OOC? I think this is a reasonable twist on Kakashi's character - there's not guarantee that he would have died, but it's how his brain processes it. But I'd love to get feedback on that (I had huge problems writing this and keeping it kind of in character)

Thanks for reading!