Peyton lay on her bed - she felt like the last 2 weeks of her life had been a huge blur, just trying to focus one thing at a time - thinking about what the next moment held just so she wouldn't have to deal with the fact that he was actually gone. She had thought about picking up the phone so many times just to ask why? Why with no explanation he was gone and out of her life - she had even thought of getting in her car and driving all the way there to see why he had done it.

But the same thing always came back to her - if he had wanted to give her a reason to give her some kind of explanation then he would have - he had proven to her this time that how she felt clearly meant nothing to him - not for him to keep hurting her this way. If he cared about her or anyone he would have given them an explanation surely they deserved that much - she had never thought of Lucas as a selfish person - but he's actions over the past few months had proved nothing but that - he's leaving only confirming all her thoughts.

She had pulled away from Nathan and she knew this - she knew that Nathan would think it was because of Lucas leaving and he wasn't wrong - but it wasn't for the reasons he thought - but she hadn't explained and she could feel him pulling away too - it was what her and Nathan did best as soon they started to get to that closeness they both instantly pulled away - they always had.

She didn't want it to be that way this time - she didn't want the past to be always ruling how they acted now, she was afraid of how he made her feel because she hadn't expected it or looked for it - but she wasn't going to throw it away - and she suddenly had a rush of braveness crash over her - practically jumping off the bed and running to the door - she was stopped by someone and arms on her shoulders.

"Nathan... I was just gonna come and see you..."

Nathan let go of her shoulders – and moved across the room. Peyton turned and watched him start to pace across the room, before turning to face her.

"Look - I know its been weird. What with my Mum and Brooke... and Lucas leaving. I know its probably been really hard for you, but I feel like your pulling away from me Peyton and I'm trying here cos I know we're the experts at this you know? You get close to me I pull away I get close to you and you pull away. But I don't wanna be like that you know its different this time right? I mean I'm not the only feeling that right? If this is about Lucas and your feelings towards him then just tell me - I can take it... "

Peyton could feel herself slowly moving towards him, as he spoke those last few words she felt like she was running just to get close to him, to make sure he knew thats not what this was about.

"God Nathan no... I mean it has been about Lucas but not just him - you know its everything you just said its you and me - and I don't wanna be afraid of what e have anymore either. Because to be honest your the only thing in my life that makes sense - your the one person who makes me feel safe."

Peyton rested her hands on Nathan's chest and looked up into Nathan's eyes, she could feel his hands now resting lightly on her back.

"What about Lucas? I know your hurt by the way he left..."

Peyton nodded "Yeah I am. But if he cared about me Nathan - he would have said goodbye."

Nathan moved his hands to rest on Peyton's and sighed heavily.

"He told me he was leaving."

Peyton dropped Nathan's hands and moved backwards away from him. "What?"

"I didn't think he was serious P - you know Lucas.. I just..."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Peyton couldn't believe that Nathan had known, that he had seen Lucas before he left and for the past two weeks had some how managed not to tell her that he had.

"Well you haven't really spoken to me for the past few weeks... "

"No. Don't you dare blame me for you keeping this from me. I've still seen you. I've still been here with you everyday"

"But you haven't though have you? You haven't been here at all. And how could I be honest with you when this is the one thing that I am afraid of? You realising that you and me are the mistake that he is what you really want - and maybe I'm selfish for saying this but I don't want that for you. I want you and me - cos you deserve better than that - you deserve better than someone who is gonna keep on running away."

"I deserve someone who'll love me. And be honest with me."

"I just, I was scared P. I can't lose you."

Peyton shook her head. "Nathan, I'm not going anywhere. And I don't know how many times I have to tell you, that its you I want. You I love."

Peyton sighed and moved across the room to stand opposite him once again. "But I need you to be honest with me. Okay?"

Peyton moved closer to him again, and took hold of his hands, gripping her fingers around he's resting them once again on Nathan's chest. Nathan nodded slightly. "I know. And I will be"

Nathan pulled her closer towards him, and Peyton rested her head on his shoulder. "We have to go to that beach party with Brooke"

"I know. We're okay though Peyton right?"

Peyton nodded and smiled up at Nathan before leaning in and kissing him softly "Yeah we're fine"

Don't tell me love is worth the waiting, you kept me hanging all these years, but it's so good to feel this patience running out, when you come back I won't be here.

Lucas spent most of he's first two weeks helping out Keith at he's new garage in town - he enjoyed it and without it even being said it became he's job, he was glad of the distraction - anything to take he's thoughts away from Tree Hill and from Peyton. A small part of him had a crazy idea that she would turn up at he's doorstep and they would get in her car and drive away from all of it just the two of them together - he realised that he was deluded in this daydream that it was never going to be happen - he had seen Peyton happy - how happy Nathan was making her and it made him realise even more that he had only ever made Peyton miserable that him being in her life had done nothing but cause her pain - he always came back to the conclusion that she was better off without him.

Brooke stood on the beach, she looked out over the ocean and it was so calm and peaceful - she could her the crackle of the bonfire in the background and the voices of the people starting to make their way down the beach - she smiled to herself slightly.

It was strange but she was actually starting to feel some relief from all the pain she had felt - she was starting to let things go.

She had gone over the thought of calling Lucas a million times to tell him what had happened but she realised there was no point - because the truth was she didn't want to see him, she didn't want to go over the whole thing with him - she was tired of all the drama he bought to her life - and now her and Peyton were finally returning to some kind of normality Lucas just seemed irrelevant to her now.

But the only thing still on her mind was the letter - the one he left for Peyton. She had kept it - and she reached for it and pulled it out her pocket sighing as she did - thinking of the content of it and Peyton's words also.

Brooke looked up and saw Peyton and Nathan walking down the beach - arms round one another smiling and laughing. She had never seen Peyton like it - in all the years they had been friends she had never been like this - so content with someone. She looked down at the letter in her hand - did she need to see this? Did Peyton need this in her life now when she was so happy? Brooke threw the letter in the fire - without hesitation and went to meet her friends not looking back with any regrets.

Lucas' days went by slowly - he lost himself in he's work - he worked all the hours he could anything to take the thoughts away from everything that was left behind. He tried not to dwell on what he had done - he tried to avoid the phone calls he's Mum kept doing - trying everything he could to avoid a confrontation or to have to give any kind of real explanation to he's leaving.

He knew that is what she wanted a reason - a real reason as to why he left, but he couldn't say it - he couldn't admit it to anyone - the longer he kept it hidden the better it would be for everyone else - it didn't matter if it ate away at him - he would in time find a way to deal with all the pain he was feeling.

He still thought about her everyday - he hoped that the memories of her would fade from he's mind as the days went by - but if anything they only intensified more - as if it was punishment for him leaving, this is what he got. All the memories of being close to her - all the times he wished he had held onto her longer and not let go. But what haunted him more were the things he said that he wished he could take back - the things that he knew had caused her pain.

Flashback

"Are you screwing him?"

Peyton stopped drawing for a moment and then carried on. "Who"

"You know who."

She looked up at him and shrugged her shoulders "I really don't."

"Dammit Peyton" Lucas banged he's fist on the table and Peyton jumped back. "Nathan... you are aren't you? I see the way he looks at you..."

"That's none of your damn business Luke."

"So why are you doing it huh Peyton? Cos you couldn't have me..." Peyton shook her head.

"Don't even finish that sentence... do you even hear yourself right now?"

"When your with him are you thinking about me? Cos he's sure as hell not thinking about you is he?" Lucas words spat out at her with venom "What both your level of depression and wanting other people drove you to each other?"

"ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME HATE YOU?"

"YES!"

"Why?" Peyton couldn't stop the tears now. "Why would you do that to me? Why would you turn your back on friendship when I told you how I felt, thats not the Lucas I know... why you act like you couldn't give a shit about me."

End of Flashback

He buried he's head in he's hands the memory of what he had said cutting through him like a knife. He begin to wonder why he punished himself so much with all he's regrets - he knew he had to let them go - but something wasn't letting him.

Lucas looked up and watched as Keith placed a cup of coffee in front of him and sat down next to Lucas.

"You look like you need it." Keith smiled slightly before drinking some of his own coffee and then leaning forward on the table. "Luke, you know I love having you here - but eventually you are gonna have to talk to me and tell me why. And I'm not buying cos you wanted a change crap. I know what your like and I see that look in your eye - I've had that look in my eye. What are you running from? Or more importantly who are you running from?"

"I can't talk about it, I don't even know what to say"

"But losing sleep and running away is helping is it?"

"Maybe thats what I deserve. Maybe I deserve to be feeling this way alright? I caused so many people pain back there okay? I messed up peoples lives - Nathan, Brooke and P... I'm better off away from them, and they are better off without me... "

"Did you ask them that? Cos I'm sure thats not how they feel. Especially Peyton. Thats who you were gonna say before you stopped yourself right? I saw the way she looked at you, I saw how you were with her. What you think cos I'm old I can't tell about that stuff? Luke, I'm not looking for a running commentary here - I'm just trying to understand why right now your so broken? I don't wanna see you like this - this isn't the Lucas I know."

"I don't know how to be any different. And Peyton, I've done nothing but make her miserable and disappoint her and out of everyone she is the one who is the most better off without me - she deserves to be happy more than anyone I know - and without me there I know she will be."

Keith shook his head "Did you even try and talk to her? Explain that to her?"

Lucas sighed "No. I didn't even say goodbye properly. I just left her a letter."

I know you have a little life in you yet - I know you have a lot of strength left - I should be crying, but I just cant let it show - I should be hoping, but I cant stop thinking

"A letter? So you didn't even have the courage to say anything of it to her face?"

Lucas stood up from the table and moved away from where Keith was sitting, and leant against the counter. "It was for the best... "

"Let me ask you something. Do you love her?"

Of all the things I should've said, that I never said - all the things we should've done, that we never did - all the things I should've given, but I didn't

"Yes."

"You love her but you didn't even have the courage to go to her and tell her to her face - tell her that you were leaving. Can you imagine how she's feeling right now? How angry she's gonna be?"

"Good. Better that she hates me - better that she thinks that of me - that way she can forget about me, just like I can forget about her."

All the things that you needed from me - all the things that you wanted for me - all the things that I should've given - but I didn't

"But thats just it - you won't ever forget Lucas. This will carry around with you forever you'll never be able to take it back - all the things you wished you had said to her - you can't go back and change that - you'll live your life afraid - always wondering what could have been and I don't want that for you. Look at me. I can't go back now, cos I made the mistake that your making now and its too late for me, I can't change that now - but you still have a chance."

"No I don't. She's in love with Nathan. And she's happy. You see now why I left. All I want is for her to be happy"

Keith sighed "It looks like both the women we love are picking the other brother."

"Your Mum wrote me."

Keith stood up from the table and moved over to Lucas, taking a letter out of his pocket and handing it to Lucas. Lucas rad the letter quickly, trying to take everything that was written in, he looked up at Keith, part of him thinking that this was all some joke, but all Keith did was nod.

"This isn't happening. Why would she write and tell you this?"

"To be able to move on I guess. I called her. I thought maybe you'd be happy about this."

"My Mum and Dan? Together? Not something to be happy about Keith. Why is she doing this?"

"Maybe of you called her once in a while you'd know."

Lucas went to open his mouth to speak, but Keith rested his hand on Lucas shoulder and silenced him before he could "Go call your Mother"

Songs

Easyworld - When You Come Back

Kate Bush - This Womans Work