Over the new few days, the Avengers Tower was a blur of activity. Someone always doing something about the mission, whether it was Tony, Bruce, or Jane down in the lab, Clint and Thor training the new recruits at headquarters, Pepper taking care of the media or Natasha, Darcy and Steve playing games and arts and crafts together. They helped distract him from his nightmares. Thus, it was very important. No matter what time of day it is, the Avengers always had something to do. They filled free time with work because otherwise they would have time to think and thinking was something none of them wanted to do. Especially Steve.
Clint, Tony and Thor returned really early/really late on the same day they left, but with no lead on the organization. It was a quick-look-around-and-take-what-you-want kind of mission. As they suspected, the area was vacant when the jet descended. There was no one in sight in or outside the building or tunnel. The only thing there were a couple of blood samples, files with some Intel that SHIELD could use, but not enough to help them in defeating the threat. The only information the files gave SHIELD was a heads up of what they were planning for Steve, but they gave no information about the people involved in this plan. All they were able to capture were a few artifacts that Jane and Bruce are currently putting a DNA testing on, backup files, and a map with possible locations of their whereabouts. As soon as SHIELD's hand got a hold of the map locations, Fury immediately gathered up rookies and with stern instructions, ordered Thor and Clint to train them for the upcoming missions they would face. Clint and Thor's day was filled with wincing rookies, harsh training, and- when Clint would get bored and want to traumatize someone on his team- crying rookies. Pepper was extremely busy everyday trying to hold in the media with press conferences, meetings and live TV interviews. Pepper and the others were able to come up with a convincing back story of what happened to Captain America. They assured everyone that he is in fact still a part of the Avengers and has taken a leave of absence for a while. But he'll be back. Captain America wanted to explore the world and see what he had miss after being frozen for 70 years and that he is not, in fact, gone, and will never be. The tabloids and rumors calmed down drastically from Pepper's last TV interview, but not have gone away completely.
As for Darcy, Natasha and Steve, who had nothing to do with the mission- so far- their days were spent trying to do anything to distract Steve from his intense dreams that seem to come more frequently during the night. His dreams mostly consisted of death. Either his mother, Natasha, Bruce or Bucky die over and over without him being able to do anything.
As the days pass, Steve became depressed which worried Natasha and Bruce extremely. The happy child is gone, leaving a broken little boy in its place. After examining Steve in case there was something physically wrong with him, Bruce said that, coupled with a dose of regression, his behavior was nothing out of the ordinary for a toddler dealing with a death in the family- particularly one as acute as the Mother's. It was very unsettling to Natasha that she had to sit back and watch as the child in front of her break down every passing day. It hurt her so much to know that she can't do anything to help him. She tried, but nothing worked. She was starting to fear that Steve would never go back to the same happy toddler was before he had that awful dream about his the next few days, the child's thumb never left his mouth and the blanket Jane had delivered him never left his side. Whenever anyone tried to get him to eat he just cried, so Natasha ended up having Bruce attach an IV to him so they fed him through a tube. Nothing was as bad as the nights, though. The nights were the worst time. Steve never got a good night's sleep. The last good night sleep he was able to get was the night before he found out his mother had died. The most the others could get him to sleep was 3 hours. 4 at the most. The lack of sleep did nothing to help him, only made him weak and unable to do anything but sit in Natasha's arms- or whoever was holding him at the moment- and stare at nothing. He never got cranky, unlike most toddlers, and the only emotion he expressed was sadness. It almost broke Natasha's heart every time she had to look into his moist, tear- filled eyes. At night, Steve would cry himself hoarsely, or so hard that he threw up. Two nights in a row, Natasha spent the night in the bathroom with him because she couldn't get him to calm down enough and he kept throwing up what little food they could get into him. Most of the time it was a combination of the two. The dreams grew worse and soon Steve seemed to barely be in touch with reality. The others were extremely concerned, Natasha and Bruce the most.
Bruce worries himself sick. He prescribes Steve some antipsychotics and had Natasha slip it into his food and milks/ juices, but it didn't seem to be working. Not even when he boosted the medicine up the most he can boost it up for a child's safety. After that, he had begun looking into what made Steve like this in the first place hoping, by some power, that he can help get Steve back to normal. Well… as normal as he can make his 2 year old leader.
Natasha worries herself to the point where she'd start crying if she couldn't get Steve stop. She hated emotions, always had. They were a liability and she tried never to have any. Despite her attempts to separate herself from her mini-leader when he was first turned, some instinct pulled her back in and brought her to the dark side. The side she tried to avoid due to the many things she learns and experienced upon taking care of Steve. The one thing she never wanted to do was start getting attached to the child, but it seems that no one cares what she wanted. Not only did she experience many different kinds of emotions, she experienced the most powerful emotion of all.
Love and Happiness. And those were two of the reasons, when she wasn't strong enough, that she cried. She cried because she loved Steve so much that she hated to see him so upset, so broken and so… unlike him.
It broke her heart that she had to watch all the happiness wash away from his blue eyes that use to sparkle everyday and the smile slowly falter until finally it was never wanted to get attached; it wasn't part of her plan. Originally, she was going to leave and not come back for a while. Let the others take care of the mess they made- specifically Tony. Of course she had been concerned in the beginning with trying to get Steve back to normal, but it wasn't her plan to fix the mess Tony made. Sooner or later, she had to admit that didn't seem to be happening anytime soon. But as soon as she held Steve for the first time and looked into his baby blue eyes, some instinct that was buried deep inside her sparked. So she came back from her 2 week mission that she arranged with Fury earlier than planned because she couldn't stand to be away from the 2 year old any longer. After being released from the hospital, Natasha felt her repressed instinct trying to rise up more and more as she spent time with the baby.
Slowly, as the days pass, the instinct was being dug out. Unearthed like a fossil. The instinct told her that she had to do something once she gave up on trying to ignore it, knowing fully well that it wouldn't go away until she actually did something. The child was grieving and she had to try and help him somehow because it was slowly killing her having to watch him continue this life any further. She was determined to do something, anything to make Steve better. she'd do anything to see the small hint of a smile grace his features again.
It was one night that she found out exactly what she had to Steve down in bed, Natasha went through his bedtime routine before lying down beside him. Natasha allowed Steve to turn on his back and scoot closer to her, letting his back make contact with her chest. Reaching a hand behind him, his other one currently inside his mouth, Steve wraps Natasha's arm around his small body and rests his head on her chest. They stay like that for a while, Natasha waiting- praying- that Steve will actually have a good night sleep that night, although it was very unlikely. Thankfully, for Natasha, the crying didn't start until 3 hours later. A new record. Turning around to face Natasha, Steve looks up at her with big, innocent blue eyes.
"I miss my momma." He says in a small voice, his voice breaking on the word 'momma'. Natasha stares down at him and a hand comes up to caress his moist cheek, wiping away the stray tears.
"I know sweetheart, I know. But she's in a better place. She's happier now and she's not in pain." Natasha reassures, planting a kiss on his forehead. Closing his eyes, Steve takes a couple of deep breath before wrapping a tiny arm around Natasha's torso, trying to bury himself deeper into her body. Burying his face into her chest, Steve's says something, but it's muffled by Natasha's chest. "What, Steve?" Natasha whispers to the child, seeing that he was starting to fall asleep."Steve doesn't reply right away, taking deep calming breaths and curling and uncurling his hands into fist. He doesn't respond for a while
Steve's almost asleep by the time he replies, repeating what he had previously said. "I wan you be my mommy." He whispers before closing his eyes and falling into a deep sleep, something that he hasn't had been able to do at night. And Natasha would've been thrilled that Steve finally fell asleep willingly, but what Steve had said stuck in her mind.
"I wan you be my mommy. I wan you be my mommy. I wan you be my mommy."It was repeated as mantra in her head, slowly turning into the correct grammar sentence. "I want you to be my mommy; I want you to be my mommy."
It took her a while to grasp the meaning of what Steve meant and why he wanted her to be his mother. So he didn't have to be going through this pain right now. So he can have a mother again, even if she may not be his actual mother. But she'll be the closest thing he'll have to having one again.
Now Natasha knew what she had to do. After waiting an hour and watching Steve sleep, Natasha anticipated him to be waking up screaming and crying, but after 30 more minutes of nothing happened, she decided she could leave for a moment. She had to speak to everyone. She'll talk to the Avengers and the three other women. Fury, Coulson and Hill can wait until a reasonable time for her to tell them.
As soon as she slips out of bed, she tucks Steve in tightly before she leaves the room. Closing Steve's door, Natasha looks up at the ceiling. "JARVIS," Natasha says in a hushed tone. "Inform everyone that I wish to meet them in the common room immediately. It's important."
"Of course, agent Romanoff," JARVIS says, following Natasha's example and lowering his volume.
"And-" Natasha starts, but JARVIS cuts her off.
"I will inform you in case young Captain Rogers awakens or shows signs of distressed.
"Thank you." Natasha whispers, walking into the common room and waiting for the others to arrive. She knew what she had to do, but she needed the approval and support of the others because her decision would affect them as well.
.
.
.
Once all the Avengers, Darcy, Pepper and Jane gathered in the common room, and everyone was seated, Natasha gets straight to the point. "I want to adopt him"
It was so sudden that even Clint, along with everyone else, jumped. Not from the statement, but from the seriousness in Natasha's tone and facial expression. She meant business and was extremely serious about this. Jane opens her mouth to question her decision, but Natasha continues before any of them can protest. "Guys… the kid just realized that his mother is dead. He's not handling it well and he's going through a shitload of stuff that no child should ever have to go through. He just found out his mother died and he has to deal with it all over again. He's starving himself and his getting weaker by the day. Also, from the lack of taking care of himself, he's getting sick. Very sick. Something keeps telling me to do something and… I believe this is what I have to do."
"You have to do?" Clint questions. "Or you want to do?"
Natasha ponders the question for a long moment trying to form her answer correctly that won't require a lot of explanation. Biting her bottom lip, Natasha sits looking down at her hands, a concentrated look in her eyes. Bruce sees this and it's what possesses him to place a hand on her shoulder. Looking up at him, Bruce nods encouragingly at her which gives her the courage to answer looking straight into Clint's eyes. "Both. I want do this for him because I know this is the right thing to do. For him and me." The others process her answer for a long moment before one starts to nod and the others follow suit.
Pepper and Darcy are the first to recover from Natasha's news. Pepper smiles encouragingly and goes to hug her redhead friend. "Oh, Natasha, that's wonderful news."
"Wow, that is really sweet of you." Darcy comments. "That kid is lucky to have someone like you in his life if you're going to go through this much trouble for him." She nods her head approvingly. "I guess… congratulations are in order for the mother-to-be."
"Tis' a righteous thing you're doing." Thor says, placing a hand on Natasha's other shoulder. "You are a true, honorable warrior Lady Romanoff. Only the bravest can do something this noble and great. Congratulations."
"Thank you." Natasha nods at him. She looks over the rest of the faces that have yet to say anything. Jane offers her a smile and a nod. Tony looks shocked by Natasha's decision, but nonetheless gives her a thumbs up.
"Natasha I will get the paperwork for the adoption as soon as possible." Pepper informs her, quickly typing something out on her phone. "I'll take care of everything, I promise!"
"Thank you Pepper." Looking towards her partner, she expects Clint to show some kind of disapproval to her decision, but is very pleased to see that Clint looks relatively happy. Biting her lip, Natasha hesitates before looking over her shoulder at the scientist that has yet to remove his hand from her shoulder."Bruce? Are you okay with this?"
"Of course I am. I think you're doing a wonderful thing Natasha. I support you and whatever you decide 100%." Bruce responds honestly. Natasha looks into his eyes and something crosses his features that she can't quite understand. But she'd seen it before. The day they found out about Steve being in danger, right after Steve and Pepper came back from the ice cream shop and while they were taking Steve a bath. It was so unfamiliar to her and it takes her back a bit when she finally realized what it was.
Love