I knew that this time was the last time. I knew he wouldn't return. He's endured too much already. He started his motorcycle and waited a few moments as if I'd change my mind. Then he took off.
I returned home and Connor wasn't there. He needed time to cool off. I understood that.
It was a cool night and I decided to take a walk to the waterfall. I was torn between Connor and Cayden but I made my bed already and I had to sleep in it. I wanted my life to be so different. I wanted to go to college and fall in love with a nice boy. Get married have children. I didn't want my life to be defined by a deal.
I finally arrived at the waterfall. I sat on the edge and dipped my feet in. The water was cool. I didn't want to think right now. I just wanted to remember good memories. Immediately Connor flooded my thoughts.
I jumped in and the cool water shocked me at first but after a few seconds the sensation went away.
I dove down and when I came back to the surface I could see two silver eyes in the distance. As I swam back to the edge he came into focus. I wasn't sure what I was going to say to him or if I should say anything at all.
He stood up and held his hand out for me. I grabbed it and smiled at him. He handed me my clothes and we walked back home. He was silent but I could tell he was upset by the way his jaw tightened.
We finally arrived back to our place and I tried to avoid talking. I wasn't ready, I wasn't sure what I'd say to him. He sat on the bed. "I understand why you didn't tell me about Cayden" he said. "No one has to tell me I'm a monster, I already know what I am" he added. I stayed silent. "Did you and him..." his silver eyes shot at me and he raised an eyebrow. I couldn't look at him. I didn't want to answer him. I was afraid of the consequences it would bring. "Did we?" I was playing stupid. "Did you fuck him?!" He yelled. "...yes..." I hesitated. She shot up and began wrecking the entire room. He turned the entire room upside down. He punched the mirror I brought here and got a fairly large piece stuck in his hand. He hissed at the pain. I walked over to him. When I touched his hand he recoiled from me. "Let me see it" I demanded. I gently pulled the piece out of his hand and wrapped it so the bleeding would stop. "You knew. You knew you were going to be mine and you let another man come in between your legs" he was upset. "I was scared. I was looking for a way out! You can't be upset at me for doing something that you've done every night before up until a few nights ago!" I yelled. He grabbed my hands tightly. "I just fucked those women they didn't mean a fucking thing to me. But I do care about you. More than I expected to" he said through his teeth. "You still knew about our deal then! What makes you so different?!" I replied. "Are you in love with him?" He asked me. I pulled my hands away and turned away from him. I started cleaning up the mess he made. "Answer me!" He growled. "It doesn't matter anymore" I said. He grabbed my arm and pulled me up. "It does to me" he said angrily. "Let go of me" I tried to pull away but he had a tight grip on me. "Answer me" he demanded. "I did...but that was before I got to know you Connor" I said. "I meant what I said the other night. I've fallen for you. I can't explain how or why I just have" I added.