Chapter 13—Phantasm

Things had been strange ever since the start of their first, legitimate "mission-like" mission. They were only supposed to guide Old Man Tazuna back to Wave Country, just as a precaution… but after the attack by some Rain chuunin, they knew better. Still, what was strange wasn't the miscategorization of their mission… it was that funny feeling she got inside when she met eyes with that bumbling clown, Naruto. Sometimes it was a sick pit in her stomach; sometimes it was a fluffy, fluttering feeling in her heart—okay, it definitely wasn't love, because she loved Sasuke so much she wanted to push him down and have her wicked way with him if she was honest (and if she were really honest, she would say that inner Sakura had presented the idea that he might be the type to enjoy that)—but it was no joke that Naruto was garnering her attention in all the wrong ways and at all the wrong times.

Once, she could've sworn his hair was longer… but the illusion flittered off just as fast as it came, and she forgot about it.

Now, however… perched in a tree, waiting for the boys to catch up, enjoying the nice weather and the salt air mixed with the scent of pine, she watched them—or rather, him—with the utmost scrutiny. There wasn't anything unusual about him. He was his normal, idiotic self, and as usual he was falling behind at a perfectly steady pace. He growled and bitched and vocalized all his struggles as if that would make everything better, and she didn't feel a damn thing about him.

Being exasperated and greatly annoyed aside, she didn't feel anything. Was her heart still doing a lovely tap-dance for that sexy Uchiha? Yes, it was.

So if all her emotions (and her physical heart) were in working order, what was going on? The vague sense that he wasn't really the one she was thinking of was there one second and gone the next, but she felt off. Like, really off.

She felt as if she were looking at someone and expecting them to be someone else.

Her time to think was soon cast aside for a long while. With the attack from Zabuza, all her thoughts about expecting Naruto to be some other blue-eyed blonde that she couldn't even think of who might be… it all fell to the back of her mind.

The weeks stretched, however, and she didn't know what to do with herself. One morning she was in the bathroom brushing her teeth while preparing to go help Tazuna at the bridge, and Naruto showed up behind her. She wouldn't normally have been so shocked, she didn't think… but he put a hand on her left shoulder to balance himself as he reached around for his own toothbrush, and she could've sworn she knew that feeling. She nearly choked on the foam in her mouth, because she felt like leaning back into that hand, into his chest, and on the very tip of her tongue…

Morning, Mr. Sunshine. You're going to beat Yukimura-san to the shower for once, eh?

She didn't live in the same complex as the Yukimura family. She didn't know how early he got up in the morning. She definitely didn't have anyone to call 'Mr. Sunshine.' Whilst chasing those thoughts around in her head, Naruto turned and grinned at her sheepishly, removing his hand before she decided to 'punish' him.

He escaped the bathroom and headed to breakfast before she could even clear her head.

The Chuunin Exams barreled in like a whirlwind afterward. Suddenly their puny amount of experience seemed not nearly enough to keep them in a single piece. Sakura strained her mind to work out the problems on the page before her. If she, the top of her class on the paper tests, was having trouble like this… damn, she wanted to throw in the towel for thought of what Naruto was probably putting on his paper. This was a disaster.

If it were a practical exam at least there would be some hope, but any hope that bubbled up popped like an overfilled balloon the second she saw that test and heard the rules. Life sucked. No, she would correct herself—Morino Ibiki sucked, and the Chuunin Exams were a way to torture them in his free time.

When the tenth question came up, her eyes landed on the back of Naruto's head, and she silently willed him to understand—he could raise his hand. It would be fine. They would understand. He couldn't help that this wasn't his thing, so they would accept that. In fact, she was already arranging a good argument inside her head, absolutely sure that Sasuke would blow his stack if Naruto did raise his hand. For once, just once mind you, she would have to stand against him…

Still, as she waited, and more and more and simply more people backed out… he never raise his hand. She felt herself shaking. Why wasn't he cutting his losses? That absolutely baseless confidence of his still wasn't wavering? Her heart clenched, observing his orange-clad back.

'Always going on, Hokage, Hokage! Like and idiot… Still…'

Still, she didn't want to see that dream, that impossibly fabulously amazing pipe dream, crushed. So to that end… and only that end (damn, Sasuke was going to bitch at her later and there was no way in hell she'd tell him why she did it) she would raise her hand.

It tickled her mind that she was always sticking her neck out for stupid, reckless blondes, and the thought shocked her… because Naruto was the only stupid, reckless blonde she could really think of that she would even consider sticking her neck out for, and yet…

In that brief hesitation, she saw his hand rise. It was like seeing her hopes slashed and placed on a poll for all to see; she never thought she would feel that about him. She never thought she would—had—placed expectations on him like that. She'd been hoping he would, and now that she did she felt horribly upset. It wasn't right. That wasn't Naruto. That wasn't…

'Wasn't who?'

Then he went and made that outrageous statement, and she breathed such a sigh of relief that she completely forgot what she was thinking. Sakura thanked all the gods she could think of that Naruto was the kind of idiot he was. She'd gotten too used to it to think of him any other way.

As they left after the exam, she couldn't really help herself; with more giddiness than she'd felt since getting on the same team as Sasuke, she had to give that dodo-brain a hug. From behind, though—as if she would do it from the front. Embarrassed as she was (dammit, it was PDA… he earned it though, so no helping it), Sakura didn't miss the wondrous look in his eyes. That bright, childish, awestruck look that said he didn't know what to make of what she'd just done, but that he certainly wasn't going to complain about it.

Sakura couldn't figure out why she thought she'd seen that look before.

She had been completely comatose, ever since she saw something in the autopsy that Tsunade still couldn't find. That was what Naruto told him.

He stopped dreaming. He felt like he stopped seeing. His senses were so numb that he could barely hear their questions, and when they beat him he couldn't feel the pain. There was light and darkness, and beyond it the gray of a life that had been suddenly deprived of that vibrant presence that had given all she could for an unworthy bastard like him. Not just an opportunity—she had given him so much more than just a chance. She had given him a home, a room, respect and a measure of affection. She had given him a life, and had squirreled him away, like a treasure.

For the first time since he was eight years old, he'd been cherished. Like a long-time friend, he hadn't just been allowed by her side, but welcomed. That vibrant, dancing light of hers was snuffed out in an instant, gone from him, leaving a vacuum in its wake. She was still breathing, but the way they said it… the way he heard it, it could only be a matter of time until she was gone altogether.

He couldn't stand it. It shouldn't have been like that—not for her. If it were him…

If only it were him, instead of her.

The creaking steel bars swung open, and in came Naruto—a man who, according to Sakura, was very much like him. Their eyes nearly the same shade of blue, their hair the same shade of gold, their personalities equally patient and long-suffering while somehow also managing to be short-tempered and volatile. There'd been a couple of early mornings where he'd come to visit in the beginning, and they sat and had coffee together while barely speaking as Sakura tried to pull herself together. That man walked in now with a first aid kit, plopped down, and started searching his body for things he could do something about.

"Ino is coming by later, but I wanted to talk with you myself," he spoke, clearly and somewhat bluntly. With a little more force than necessary, he shoved the sleeve closest to him up and started roughly scrubbing the scratches with alcohol. "This is the least I can do. If Sakura-chan were here, she'd have you fixed up and kickin' in no time, but I'm not as skilled with chakra use as she is."

There was a pause in the one-sided conversation as he rummaged around in the tin box for a roll of bandages. Deidara watched him silently, waiting for him to continue. He couldn't think of anything to say anyway.

"Sakura-chan… she's the best, y'know. I'm not just saying that as her teammate," he picked up, starting on wrapping up an ugly gash just above his wrist. "I'm not saying it as a guy that used to be in love with her, either." Deidara met his eyes. That was news to him, but he wasn't really surprised. "She was the top in our year for book studies and chakra control—Sasuke couldn't beat her in those areas, even if his practical skills were better. When she picked up medical ninjutsu while we were split up, she did it faster than even Tsunade-baa-chan thought she would. She passed up Shizune-nee-chan a long time ago, especially since she was originally a genjutsu-type.

"Lately, even Baa-chan's been saying it—that Sakura-chan's going to be greater than she ever was. That's a big deal, coming from her… Y'know, she's the granddaughter of one of the previous Hokage—don't ask me to tell you which, 'cause I don't remember—and she was taught by Sandaime-jii-chan, and her partners were Ero-Sennin and Orochimaru. She's awesome, but she says Sakura-chan's going to be even better," he said, voice getting quieter towards the end. For a while again, Naruto didn't speak; the Jinchuuriki just continued to treat his wounds, however roughly, with a contemplative, serious face. It took a long while—he was clumsy and the bandages were poorly wrapped, the alcohol stung and in a few places the man had actually given him more scratches trying to fix him up. When it came to his face, Deidara could tell that he had a hard time deciding whether looking him in the eye was a good thing or a bad thing. Their eyes met for brief flashes, but it seemed that Naruto couldn't bring himself to look honestly. Instead he just focused on washing out the gash on his temple and the scrapes on his cheeks and the splits in several different places on his lips. In the end, his hands weakly fell into his lap, and all he could do was sit there.

Deidara wondered if he was trying not to cry, but for whose sake he couldn't be sure. It should have been Sakura's case. It should have been. The longer he sat there though, head hung over his lap as it was, the more the ex-criminal thought that he might be grieving for him, too. It might be an apology, however silent… even a show of guilt. Any of it was probably more than he deserved, even this small show of kindness and smaller show of sorrow.

Then, as if all the clouds in the world would scatter on command, those eyes finally met his. Deidara felt his heart shudder, and he wanted to tell Sakura then that she was a fool for comparing the two of them. They were nothing alike, not with that look on his face. Naruto's eyes blazed to life in determination, something so clear it felt like the sun even in the dark, ugly cell.

"Sakura-chan is strong, Deidara. She'll be ok. In the meanwhile, I can't let anything happen to you for her sake."

It was shameful, but she couldn't help it. The overwhelming dread that shook her down to something even deeper than her soul caught hold of her, showed her horrifying visions, made her body go numb and her bones turn useless. The terror that swallowed her whole like an animal was the after product of bloodlust from someone far, far to above her hand. It made her want to scream.

It's okay to scream, right?

Death was walking on two feet, strolling toward her with such pleasure that her lungs, however desperate for air, were shriveling up together with her heart. The hopelessness even worse than fear was gnawing away at her, consuming her alive and only chewing because it was fun. She was going to die. She was going to sit there and die a miserable death because she couldn't even move and that murderous intent was squeezing her like a boa constrictor and she couldn't breathe—

Then it was like waking up from a bad dream, because suddenly she and Sasuke were in a tree, and there wasn't any deadly aura to stop her from breathing, or her heart from beating… but there was blood. In fact, the dread crept back up on her, settling around her shoulders like a demon as she finally connected the dots on what had happened. It was hard to miss the blood welling up to soak his bindings and shorts. It smelled different from the metal of a blade, and despite herself she could taste it on her tongue. When he pulled it out, a shiver spiraled its way down her spine.

He was too worked up. It felt like cold water on her brain, but like waking up for real she could see things differently. She wasn't afraid. She wasn't shaken at all. Sakura stared wide-eyed at Sasuke and wondered what the hell was going on, because there was no way he was ever this emotional… or so she thought. In that moment, like a shinobi catching a great chance, a giant snake rose up. Sasuke was covering her mouth… he was so scared that shinobi would find them that he wasn't paying attention—!

"Sasuke-kun, there's a snake!"

He finally snapped around, releasing her and both of them making a run for it in opposite directions. Sakura found a branch a little ways off, and stopped to get her bearings for a second. The snake turned for Sasuke, and she could only observe with something close to horrific realization—he wasn't just afraid. He was nigh on hallucinating. He treated the snake the same as he would an enemy, a heartrending scream making her heart skip a beat.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

The serpent was dead in seconds; not even a fight. That was the split second of relief they had before that man came out of it's body, as if a new little reptile hatching from its egg. It was wet and disgusting, and he was licking his lips again as if they were food, and…

And he was suddenly stretching and wrapping himself around the trees as if he were a snake himself…

Sakura didn't even think to stop the gasp that escaped her. Despite having never heard the name, it was echoing around in her head like a cymbal, accusing him, hating him, demanding his death with many voices of fear and anger and grief. A little corner of her heart, probably her strangely-absent other half, whispered vehemently, Kill him NOW. Don't let him get away! He has to die! I want his blood on our hands! It's well-deserved vengeance! OROCHIMARU, THAT BASTARD…!

'Orochimaru…Vengeance?'

Without getting an answer to her question, a sudden strike of weapons snapped her out of her shock. Like the ridiculously impulsive attempt-at-a-hero he was, there Naruto stood in the trees looking much too proud of himself. She was going to beat the shit out of him later, but in the meanwhile she felt too much joy… Those blue, blue eyes were there, looking arrogant and proud and damn if she wasn't happy to see that. Sasuke didn't seem any better… well, maybe his tension had broken just a tiny bit, but he was still trying to tell them to run when, if he thought about it, they had no where to escape to. The gates were closed and locked, and they had five whole days to fend off this guy if they didn't do it now and get it done right. He tried handing over the scroll, and when he did…

Naruto wasn't the only one who lost confidence in him. Sakura did too. She agreed with that blonde idiot that, if nothing else… this wasn't the calm, confident Sasuke-kun she knew. This wasn't what he was like.

Is this really what happened?

The whisper was there and gone before she could grasp it, another giant snake attacking Naruto with a lumbering strike. The trees cracked and groaned, snapping and breaking as the snake coiled around them, over them, and attacks sent Naruto hurtling through trunks as thick as he was.

For a moment, it looked like he was down. The protective fear that wriggled up inside her felt foreign, but it was definitely there… and she latched on to it stubbornly. He had to be okay. He had to be okay.

He was definitely, definitely…

That man—Orochimaru—made no hesitation about turning his attack back to Sasuke. As the serpent reared back, struck out, there was a second where she doubted what she was seeing. No—Naruto really was there, stopping that attack, kunai plunged hilt-deep in the scaly nose pressed against his back.

"Hey. You okay over there, scaredy-cat?"

She couldn't believe it. It was true though, even through her rose-colored glasses—Sasuke was still cowed, not the least strengthened by Naruto's presence. Not the least desperate to protect a comrade in trouble, when he was picked up by that disgusting tongue, or when he was cast aside to fall to his death to the forest hundreds of feel below. It was ridiculous.

No, it was downright outrageous.

"At least he's not a coward."

The hours up to dawn were filled with unease. Sakura had every reason to be paranoid. Somewhere along the way, her mind had become clouded again—that objective, all-knowing feeling had dissipated a little, taking away the calm she'd felt and replacing it again with the itching fear that something was bound to happen the very second she let her guard down.

The Sound nin attacked. Her traps were pathetic, she knew; textbook or not, she didn't have a natural sense for combat at all. Her skills were all in her books, and her control… but that meant nothing when she needed to defend herself. No amount of knowledge could change the fact that her enemies were strolling through their hiding place and getting ready to off her for whatever bad reasons they could think of. They didn't even need reasons—not in this place.

She could die at their hands and people would mark it up to the exam. No one would ever dream otherwise.

The tears were gathering up miserably again, but stopped the instant that green-covered back stood in front of her. Rock Lee, the sweetheart… the tension that gathered dissipated again, because she knew someone strong was in front of her.

In fact, even as she said, "We're your enemies now, too," she didn't feel like that in the least. She knew that he was going to protect her with his life, and just as expected he said that very thing in reply. The unclouded feeling was coming back again. It made her feel stupid for just sitting there, waiting for someone to protect her when she should damn well be getting up and doing it herself.

In the end though, he was brought down and out. The attack of sound on his body was too much, and she felt like she should've known. Kin caught her hair, fingers laced into it and holding on as if it were a leash. Sakura hated how ashamed she felt when the woman commented on it's softness, it's shininess—even if Kin's hair was longer, Sakura's was better cared for… because she'd spent time on it that, like the sound girl said, could've been spent training. She was holding her team back again, unable to protect them. Unable to move to their side when someone threatened their lives. Unable to stop herself from being a witness to someone's pleasure kill, because in the end she wasn't strong enough.

I thought we were going to protect them this time. Am I not?

Hell yeah. Hell, yes, she was.

Come hell, high water, bleeding ears, permanently deaf, mangled hair, mangled body, she was going to protect her boys. That meant cleaning up these bastards that stood between her and that goal. She felt like the world lifted off her shoulders as that knife cut the hair she'd been growing for five years, trying to gain that man's attention. She was going to do even better.

She was going to save his ass, and then he'd really have to look at her.

So what. Sure, the basics were all she had; she could do some genjutsu, but that took time, and there weren't but one or two ninjutsu in her repertoire. Basics were her only saving grace, and she'd give them hell with all she had. Her awkwardness, her previous cowardly actions could now be a shield. They would have the enemy's estimation of her low enough that it would come back to really hurt them. It felt so, so good for her kunai to slip into Zaku's arm, her hand covered and then her mouth filled with the taste of his blood. It was rewarding. Exhilarating. She didn't care that he was probably giving her a concussion as he steadily pounded on her skull, trying to make her let go. Her jaw let go before she was honestly ready, his fist sending her off several feet as it finally went slack.

So what if we're weak? Aren't we going to protect them anyway?

Absolutely. That was exactly what she was going to do. She was beginning to wonder what the hell was up with the stupid author of her story though; she makes a decision to beat their asses to hell and here came more interference. Okay, so maybe she should be a little thankful that Ino had decided to stick up for her despite their differences, but at the same time it was pissing her off that her proof was getting put on hold. That fight didn't go well either, though. The repeating pattern of more people showing up and more people getting beaten was getting nonsensically old.

She was shocked when Lee's team showed up, wondering if even the proctors were going to stroll in to their miserable defense, before they let the tension out of that moment by saying their interference wasn't needed. Any relief that came, however, disappeared the second she looked where they were referring.

Wild, dark chakra was wafting up from Sasuke's prone form like poisoned vapors, seeming to writhe and wriggle like an incarnation of something dastardly. He stood up, and that was a relief… but he didn't answer her. In fact, it felt like someone else completely because of how twisted it was… his chakra, his aura, the anarchic presence of his that moved out to shake the whole area like a poisoned god reaching out his hand. A burn-like mark stretched along his skin, glowing like the embers of a fire, setting only a little light on his darkened face and form.

"Sakura… which bastard made you look like that?"

She thought he was being normal—if not surprisingly protective—when he asked that… but his words had an unsettling growl behind them, beneath them. He muttered about being an avenger… about abandoning himself to the devil…

Orochimaru is the devil. Even the Christians know he disguises himself as a snake.

That wasn't all though. She knew those Sharingan eyes, even if she'd only seen them a few times since he obtained them… she knew their look, the feel of them on her person, and even how his demeanor changed to absorb all the information he received from them.

This wasn't the right Sharingan. It was wrong. It was off. It was stronger, yes, but… it wasn't the same.

In fact, it was completely different. Like siblings, there were similar traits, but this wasn't Sasuke.

The unnatural speed of his attacks, the vehemence in his actions, his face… it wasn't Sasuke. The Housenka with shuriken was definitely something he would do, but once he broke in to Zaku's stance, turned him on his knees and pulled back his arms the way he did, she could tell. This wasn't him. It wasn't in his nature to be cruel. That smirk on his face wasn't the teasing one she was used to, it was genuinely taking pleasure in the hunt.

In the kill.

This wasn't Sasuke. It wasn't him… it was…

AN: Now who is it really, I wonder~ 8D Didn't I update so fast? And it's just over five pages! It's long for once, *and* fast! I deserve a little praise, I think~ Hope ya'll enjoyed this one, it was pretty interesting to write, because it honestly does fit almost exactly in with the original canon, expressions and all~ At any rate, couple more chapters to go-look forward to it~!