Yey! I made it! A new chapter is up and kind of started working on the last chapter of this story. Planning a sequel to "I just couldn't" and "What have I done". Really don't know yet which one will be the next story. Anyway, I am really bad at the hospital stuff, so if there is something that does not resemble the truth, please tell me so I can change it.
Thank you for the reviews, like I said last time, you keep me writing.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Just a mind of my own, thank you very much:)
xoxo LT
Maybe we were never meant to be!
They had finally arrived at Bethesda, and Tony had been taken to the OR
They had finally arrived at Bethesda, and Tony had been taken to the OR. Now she was all alone, waiting for someone to come out of surgery and tell her how her partner was, if he had survived or, God forbid, something happened to him. But there was no one there to tell her anything and she was lost in her thoughts once more. She loved Tony that she finally figured out but there was no way in hell she was going to give up Roy. The Israeli had seen what can happen to an NCIS agent, she knew what the risks were, and Ziva didn't want to mix work with love. She just couldn't, it would kill her to have the whole thing over again. She just couldn't imagine how it would be if she would be with Tony, let her feelings bloom for him, and then something like this could take place, and everything would be taken away. No! Something like that she would not let to occur.
"And yet why does my heart still long for him, although I know it's wrong." She asked herself for the millionth time.
After one and a half hours sitting on that blasted hospital chair, she just lost it. Ziva jumped up from the chair and went to the blond receptionist, who was talking on the phone with her boyfriend once again. Since she got to the hospital, the only thing that she had heard was "I love you more pooh bear" or "Of course I love you" and finally "Kiss kiss baby. Be a good boy or I'll spank you." Ziva was a tolerant person, but this was too much. Every time she tried to squeeze some information from the blond nurse, the bimbo put her "baby" on hold and told Ziva annoyed that she was in the middle of something. Now the blond nurse and her boyfriend where at it again, and she couldn't stand the pressure anymore, of not knowing how Tony was. On top of everything Gibbs didn't show up yet, nor the rest of the team. She was all alone and she was very close to going insane.
Slowly she walked back to the nurse's desk and the young woman put her boyfriend on hold again.
"I'm busy now." She said and gave Ziva a superior look.
Ziva cocked her head, and then grabbed the phone from her hand.
"You know, this is actually a hospital. People are sick here and need medical attention. I know it's really hard for your little girlfriend to understand, being mentally limited and all, but I think you are the smarter one, yes?" she paused and then continued "Now be a good pooh bear and get off the line and LET HER DO HER JOB." She yelled and then slammed the phone shoot. The nurse was too shocked in the beginning to say anything, but then she busted and started yelling. Ziva was surprised by the nurse's verbal diarrhea, but quickly recovered.
"Are you insane ma'am? That was a highly important call." The nurse yelled.
"Don't call me ma'am, and start doing the job you are paid for." She bit back.
"Who do you think you are lady?" the nurses attacked again.
Ziva was about to draw her gun and shoot the woman, when a firm hand caught her.
"Don't do that Ziva." A rugged voice hushed close to her.
She turned back and saw Gibbs, looking at her. She didn't say anything, but Gibbs could see her lips turning white from then anger and knew that she was burning on the inside.
"Can you help us or do I have to let her shoot you?" Gibbs asked the woman, who quickly disappeared. After a few seconds she came by whit an elderly woman, but then quickly went out the room.
"Can you tell me if Agent DiNozzo is out of surgery?" Gibbs began.
"I can't give that information away." The response came.
"Now you listen to me..." Ziva started, but Gibbs pulled her away.
"Why is that…nurses Robertson?" the gray haired agent asked, after checking the nurses badge.
"Are you family?" She asked, looking suspiciously at both of them.
"I'm Anthony's father, and this angry young woman next to me, is my son's fiancée."
He swiftly looked at Ziva, and he couldn't suppress a smile when he saw that the Mossad assassin actually blushed, when Gibbs told her that Ziva was Tony's fiancée.
"Oh. I'm sorry. Why didn't you say that from the start? He's out of surgery and the recovery room. Follow me please." She said and smiled warmly at Ziva.
Both agents followed the woman in quiet. The walk through the white and empty corridors of the Bethesda hospital made Ziva feel more uncomfortable then she already felt.
"Is Nick ok?" she quietly asked.
"Yes Ziva he's fine." The answer came.
"McGee?" she continued.
"A bullet scratched his thigh. He should be ok. Abby is taking care of him. Well will take care of him after she stops crying" The response came.
When they finally arrived to the recovery room, the nurse went to fetch the doctor. Through the glass window of the recovery room, she could see Tony lying on his back, fast asleep. A tube was coming out of his mouth and another one from his nose. He looked pale, and Ziva was about to cry. Gibbs put a hand on her shoulder, and she just turned to face him.
"He will be fine Ziva. He pulled it through the surgery; he will recover and then move his ass back to work."
She nodded, and the moment was disturbed by the arrival of the doctor.
"Ah you must be Mr. DiNozzo and the future Mrs. DiNozzo. My name is Dr. Burns, I performed agent DiNozzo's surgery." He said, shacking first Gibb's hand and then Ziva's."
"My name is special agent Gibbs, I'm Tony's boss, and this is office David, agent DiNozzo's partner." Gibbs spoke and looked at the doctor.
"I'm sorry; the nurse told me something else. I…Never mind.
I removed the bullet from agent DiNozzo's right shoulder and stopped the bleeding. He lost a lot of blood and was very very lucky. The bullet had touched a nerve, but it seems it's not something very severe. He will be needing therapy, but he is expected to make a full recovery." The doctor explained.
"Can we see him?" Ziva asked, hoping that Gibb and the doctor couldn't notice the way her voice was shacking.
"Yes you may see him, but not for long."
"Thank you Dr. Burns." Gibbs said.
"You go in Ziva. I'll get us some coffee." Gibbs suggested.
She nodded and entered the room, sitting herself on yet another uncomfortable hospital chair. She took his hand in hers, and caressed slowly.
"I should shoot you for scaring me like that." She whispered, while shedding a tear.
The tear dropped on his hand, and she could feel him move. Ziva looked up and saw that Tony was starting to move, but to her horror, she noticed that Tony couldn't breathe. She rushed out of the hospital room and yelled for assistance. Returning to Tony's bed, she tried everything to keep him calm, but Tony was still struggling. His eyes were wide open, and she could see the panic in them. Finally Dr. Burns and two nurses came in.
"Brenda, we need to get that tube out of his mouth." The doctor started.
"Mrs. DiNozzo, look at me." The petite nurse spoke.
Tony looked at her, while still struggling to breath.
"I will count to three, and on three take a deep breath, ok?" She said.
"One…Two…Three…" she screamed.
Tony took a deep breath; the moment the tube came out he started coughing. The other nurse, who was a silent observer during the process, quickly handed Tony a glass of water.
After checking on his vitals and on his bandage the nurses and the doctor left the room, leaving Ziva and Tony alone.
She was sitting the chair; he was not looking at her. The silence was painful, and Ziva was thinking of a reason to get out of the room.
"Is Nick alright?" he surprisingly asked not looking at her.
"Gibbs said he is fine. McGee was injured but not seriously." She added looking out the window.
The silence embraced the room once more. She finally stood up and walked over to the window.
"Are you going to marry Roy?" he asked glaring at her back.
She didn't turn around but answered: "Yes. I will marry him, when he returns."
He swallowed hard, she fought the tears.
"I wish you all the best in the world Ziva. I really hope you are going to be happy. You deserve it."
She walked back to the bed, and rearranged the pillow, not looking at him. He watched her, their faces inches away. She stroked his face gently, and Tony could see she was very close to crying.
"I need to have somebody that will not die on me, like any other person I came close to in the past. I need to have some one that I know will not go on a dangerous mission and maybe never come back. I need security in my home. I'm sorry Tony." She spoke softly, still caressing his face. When Tony wanted to speak she put a finger on his lips and shook her head.
"Don't speak. Please, don't confuse me even more. I need to leave now." Ziva hissed.
Before he could respond she was out the door. He swallowed hard, still feeling her perfume, longing for her. She was so close and yet so far away. Gibbs walked in with the ever present cup of coffee.
"You gave everybody one hell of a scare. Abby has only stopped crying ten minutes ago." He spoke.
Tony smiled weakly looking at his boss.
"How do you feel Tony?"
"Like I've been shot in the shoulder." He bit back with sarcasm.
"DiNozzo, if you screwed up, don't let it out on me." Gibbs barked
"Sorry boss."
"Don't apologize. It's a sign…"
"…of weakness. Yeah I know." Tony reproduced for the millionth time Gibbs's rule.
"You know maybe it's better like this DiNozzo." Gibbs added after a while.
"Better to be shot at?" he asked sarcastically although he knew what Gibbs mend. Unfortunately for Gibbs, Tony was not in the mood of discussing with Gibbs the fact that he fell in love with a coworker.
"DiNozzo, do you want to get head slapped?"
"No boss." He replied sheepish
"You two can then focus on the work and not on the relationship."
"Gibbs you know damn well that we could have kept it outside the office."
"I never doubted that Tony. But still at some level it does affect your job."
"Yeah. Well no worried Gibbs, it's too late to change anything now; she is going to marry Roy and I…I will be fine." He said bitterly and couldn't look Gibbs in the eyes.
"It's never to late DiNozzo." Gibbs responded fatherly, putting an arm on Tony's left shoulder.
"I will check on you later. Don't do anything stupid." Gibbs spoke before he left the room.
He stood there in the hospital bed thinking about Ziva and him, about the life he would love to share with her. Once he started figuring out, what his feelings towards her were, he thought about all the dreams he would like to share with her. Of course he fantasized about her body, the way he would make love to her, the way she would scream his name. But everything was out of reach for him now; she was not his, and there wasn't anything he could do about it.
Tony never noticed how quickly the days went away. McGee came to visit, and Tony joked about the injury he sustained during the mission. Abby brought him every time she came a bouquet of black roses, so his room started to look like a haunted flower shop. Ducky visited him a couple of times and every time the good doctor started a story from his youth, Tony would fall asleep instantly. Palmer and Lee visited once, but when they said they would get a cup of coffee and come back, Tony expected them to be back in a few hours and not minutes. Gibbs and Jenny came over every day and tried to help him deal with boredom. Gibbs would head slap Tony most of the time, and Jenny would make fun of Gibbs, leading Tony to laugh and get head slapped one more time.
Ziva was at the hospital every day. She was the first person he saw when he woke up and the last one before he fell asleep. The assassin would be there to help him through therapy and take him on walked through the hospital park. They grew closer every day, but they would not speak about her wedding or Roy. She never told him that she had bought the dress, that the flowers were set up, and that she had spoken to a priest and a rabbi. He was speared, and he didn't want to know about that stuff. A few days after they talked he had noticed that she was not wearing her engagement ring. When he asked her about it, she simply told him that it was a favor for him, she knew it bothered him. That moment he wanted to take her in his arms and never let her go, but he managed to stop himself from doing that.
After he got out of the hospital and went back to his apartment, Ziva was still the one coming over and helping him out, cooking, and spending time with him. She did not seem affected by his constant companionship, so he thought, but the truth was she was falling for him more and more with every day that passed.