All I need - Within Temptation

Chapter 13: My Heart is Broken

All I remember in the morning was waking up with a massive hangover and Nina completely crashed out in the bed beside me. I groaned and my head flopped back down on my pillow. I was out of my dress and shoes and in some pajama shorts and tank top. I guessed my mother had changed me. Even though my head was killing me and I felt so sick I was about to throw up, all I could think about was last night and how I had managed to forget everything that was going on in my life even for a few hours. It was like my own personal therapy, something that I desperately needed. After falling back onto the pillow I didn't wake up again until the sun was streaming through my windows. I glanced at the alarm next to me and my eyes widened in surprise when I saw it was almost 2pm. I forced myself to the bathroom and wasn't surprised to see that I looked exactly as I felt. My hair was a mess, my eyes were heavy. I was a mess. I stumbled into the shower and spent at least an hour in there, washing my hair and skin thoroughly. It was as if I was I trying to wash away all the bad memories. When I finally came out and got dressed I found that Nina was sitting up in bed still half asleep, holding her head in her hands, her hair a tumbling mess.

'Renesmee, my heads killing' she whined, flopping back down onto the pillows again.

'Tell me about it' I mumbled, pulling my damp hair up into a ponytail.

'How did I get here?'

'I'm pretty sure I remember Nahuel carrying you back, he wasn't as out of it as we were'

'My mom's going to kill me' she moaned

'Yep'

I walked over and lay down on my bed again beside Nina staring at the ceiling.

After a few moments of silence, Nina finally spoke.

'So what's the reason Ren?' she asked quietly

'What do you mean?' I asked, still staring at the ceiling

'Oh come on, I know you' she said turning to face me 'you don't go out clubbing, you don't drink, it just isn't you and you know it, what's the reason?'

I sighed heavily and turned to face her.

'I don't want to talk about it'

'Not talking about things only makes them worse'

'I know but I just can't, it hurts too much' I finally admitted.

She seemed to get the message I couldn't talk about what was bothering me so she let it go for the time being. I think she already had a pretty good idea anyway.

I turned back to face the ceiling.

About 20 minutes later I heard my family enter the house, and as soon as I smelled my father's scent he yelled my name.

'Renesmee Carlie Cullen, get down here right now and tell your friend to get down aswell. Nahuel will take her home.'

I groaned loudly, already anticipating the torrent that was going to awaken pretty soon.

I vaguely remembered my dad dragging me out of the club last night and yelling at me in the car, but none of it really registered.

I reluctantly got up and made my way slowly downstairs, leaving Nina to get herself cleaned up and at least looking halfway presentable.

I was met with angry faces from each member of my family except from Esme and Carlisle. They just looked disappointed.

'Daddy...' I started but he put his hand up to silence me.

'We'll speak when Nina has gone home' he spoke in a cold and flat voice.

I sighed and sat down in the seat across from my family members.

When Nina finally came downstairs she came over and hugged me tightly before Nahuel got up, on his way giving me a sympathetic smile before he opened the door and they were gone.

As soon as the door shut my dad rounded on me.

'How dare you go out to a nightclub and get drunk?' he screamed 'do you know what danger you put yourself in? How vulnerable you made yourself? How you could have exposed us? Are you that stupid? Renesmee?' he yelled at me

'Edward' my mother said softly but he shrugged her off

'No Bella, this is serious! You made a promise to me before you left' he shouted, looking me right in the eyes 'you told me you wouldn't be long and you told me you'd be careful and you just lied! I have no idea what's gotten into you but it stops now! I've had enough of it! You're grounded, do you understand?'

I just nodded. Trying not to look at him anymore. I would not; I refused to cry in front of any of them.

'Renesmee? Sweetheart, what's going on with you?' my mother said softly, edging towards me 'please honey, I'm dying here'

I turned my face away, feeling tears pricking my eyes.

I breathed in deeply, in and out, in and out until I couldn't feel the tears anymore. When I turned my face back around I was more composed.

'I'm fine' I choked

Nobody said anything for a while, we just all sat there, none of us knowing what to do or say.

Nahuel made his appearance soon after and my dad took that as an opportunity to start on him.

'And you!' he bellowed 'how dare you let my daughter into a club! I trusted you' he spat 'I know something's going on, I know it and I know you know!' he screamed.

I was suddenly fearful for a moment, Nahuel was going to slip and I knew it. Daddy was going to read his mind and then he'd kill me.

'Nahuel' my mother pleaded, turning to face me 'what's happened to my little girl?'

Nahuel looked toward me and then to my mother and father, and then his eyes glanced around the rest of the family's faces before he finally spoke.

'I'm sorry Renesmee' he whispered and then he breathed out loudly.

'Renesmee has been…seeing somebody when were in Forks and I covered for her because I didn't want her to get into trouble even though it killed me to know she wanted somebody else…'

My mother looked stunned for a moment; my dad's face was frozen in shock.

'Seeing somebody?' Bella turned around to look at me 'Renesmee?'

I didn't answer and Nahuel continued.

'I…it was a werewolf and that's why she didn't tell you'

The frozen face of my father's soon melted and his eyes went wild with rage. My mother just stayed stunned. I couldn't bring myself to look at the rest of my family; I just kept my eyes down.

'A WEREWOLF?' My father bellowed 'you've been hooking up with a WEREWOLF? DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THEY ARE, WHAT THEY COULD DO TO YOU?

I couldn't respond. I just stayed silent.

'Why Renesmee?' my mother spoke softly, resting her hand on my knee gently 'why?'

'Because…he imprinted on me' I said in barely a whisper.

I heard an intake of breath followed by a deafening silence.

My dad looked close to losing it.

'Imprinted? IMPRINTED?' My father yelled, slamming a first down on to the table, instantly shattering it.

'Edward stop it' my mother cried, reaching out to him.

'It's not even that…it's' my dad raked his fingers through his hair, clearly trying to calm himself down.

'It's the LIES. All that time, all those lies'

He looked straight at me

'I'm so, so disappointed in you Renesmee.'

'Just tell us Renesmee!' my mother shouted, turning around toward me 'who is it?'

I breathed heavily, deeply, in out, in out.

I had nothing to lose anymore, they already knew. I had a feeling they knew exactly who it was.

'Jacob' I choked out, 'Its Jacob Black.'

Instantly Rosalie hissed and forced her way towards me.

'You're joking?' she screamed

'You're fucking joking!' Emmett joined in

Instantly my mother stood up protectively in front of me

'Move now!' She yelled 'how dare you all scream at my daughter, no wonder she was terrified to tell us anything!'

'You can't be serious Bella! Jacob fucking Black' Rosalie spat 'over my dead body will he try and put a claim on my niece the filthy mutt! He couldn't have you so he goes for your daughter!'

'Don't say that!'

I felt my heart break a little more. How could I ever believe he had really loved me?

I looked up at my father who was staring at me in shock, non-moving, not saying anything. Eventually he turned on his heels and walked silently out of the house without a backward glance.

My mother immediately left and ran after him and I was left with the rest of my family staring intently at me.

'I'm sorry I said that Renesmee' Rosalie said, anger still visible in her voice

'Don't worry Rose, I heard you loud and clear' I said.

'I just…I mean what does it matter anyway? You can't have feelings for him Renesmee, he's a dog'

I didn't answer her; I just stared straight through her.

'No' she whispered, shaking her head back and forth 'you can't be serious, you can't like him'

She looked over at Nahuel 'tell me it's not true' she begged

'It's true' he answered quietly

She was silent for a moment before she starting her screaming and yelling again.

'How can you like him and NOT Nahuel? How can you pick that disgusting dog over Nahuel? How can you have feelings for the mutt?'

'SHUT UP' I screeched back at her, standing up, not being able to take it anymore.

She looked just as taken aback as everybody else.

'And now you're defending his honour?' she sneered 'he obviously did something to upset you otherwise you wouldn't be going out and getting drunk and acting like this! How dare you let yourself get worked up over a dog? How dare you let him reduce you to this? He's worthless; I mean you're everything you could do so much better!'

'I don't want Nahuel!' I screeched at the moment my mother and father walked back inside the house.

'Oh but you want the dog?' Rosalie said, fuming

'So what if I do? What's it to do with you?' I yelled

'Are you that blind Renesmee? Don't you see? He doesn't love you, he never loved you, everything he said is a load of lies and even if he has imprinted on you it's only the imprint that makes him feel anything for you. He loves Bella deep down, he'll always love Bella.'

'ENOUGH' Esme shouted.

Rosalie immediately covered her mouth with her hand and her eyes went wide and she backed away instantly.

I felt numb, I couldn't move.

'Renesmee' Rosalie said softly, inching towards me again.

I jerked away and walked to my room, dragging my feet up the stairs, along with my heart.

…

I didn't cry. I just felt numb. And that's how I felt for exactly 5 days.

I didn't eat, I didn't drink, and I didn't talk. I shut everything out and shut everything out. I went to school and came home again. I was like a robot. Even Nina was fed up with me. I repressed all my feelings and on the day of Halloween Alice made her way into my room with a selection of costumes and took a seat on the end of my bed.

I almost snorted.

'I know what you're thinking' she said before I could say anything 'but I can't bear to see you like this, I just can't take it. We're having a Halloween party here. I invited everybody from school and Nina. We're going to have fun and you're going to get out of this depression.'

'Sure Alice' I said, my first words in days.

I couldn't be bothered to fight or argue with her. I couldn't be bothered to do anything. I didn't have it in me anymore. I felt hollow and empty and unbelievably cold. I tried not to think about what Rosalie had said, I tried not to think about how my father didn't even look at me anymore, I tried not to think about how Jacob was at home right now, probably kissing another girl.

'Really? You'll come?' Alice said excitedly 'oh Renesmee I promise you'll have so much fun! I brought you a few different costumes'

She held the first one up, if it could even classify as a costume. I briefly glanced at it, it was an Alice in wonderland costume except the skirt would barely cover my butt and it was all very lacey. And the next one was a vampire costume. I almost laughed.

It was the sluttiest vampire costume I'd ever seen in my life. It was a tiny red and black little dress which had a built in bra and part of it was velvet with a tiny little ruffled lacey tutu. It was accompanied with a little cape which was optional and two little caps for vampire teeth. How ironic that Alice would get me a vampire costume.

'That one' I finally said, pointing to the vampire one.

'Good choice! I thought it would be a brilliant idea I've got some red stilettos to pair it with!' she said cheerily

'And my father approves of that?' I asked

'To be honest he hasn't said anything about it at all' she admitted and my face fell again.

'Oh I forgot' I rolled my eyes in acknowledgement 'he doesn't care about me anymore'

'Don't say that' Alice insisted 'this is so hard on your father, you don't realise Renesmee. Jacob tried to take Bella away from him and now he's doing the same with you, Edward doesn't know how to cope with that.'

'Jacob doesn't want me anymore Alice' the pain that shot through me as I admitted that out loud was excruciating.

'It will all work out' Alice sighed 'now get up and try your costume on!'

I sighed heavily and changed into the ridiculous costume.

It barely covered my butt, all my legs were on show and it somehow managed to push my breasts up making them look 3 times as big. I didn't bother with the cape, I thought it was tacky.

'Alice, I can't wear this' I groaned 'I feel so exposed'

'Nonsense, you look so beautiful and grown up! This is what girls do on Halloween Renesmee, you're not a little girl anymore, I guarantee you everybody coming to the party will be in things way worse.' She insisted.

'How could they get any worse? I'm practically naked' I said in frustration

'Stop being silly, this costume is sexy yet classy don't worry you'll be thanking me later on tonight'

I sighed again. I didn't know what she was talking about and quite frankly I didn't really care. I just wanted this Halloween party to be over so I could start to figure out my life and somehow, try and move on.

…

~BELLA POV~

'Edward you have to talk to her, she thinks you hate her' I said desperately as we were out hunting. We'd just finished and had taken a seat underneath a deserted tree.

'I don't know what to say Bella' he said, staring ahead at nothing in particular.

'How about, we'll get through this and I love you darling' I suggested.

He laughed once without humour.

'I'm so angry Bella'

'I know' I said softly

'I'm so, so angry with him and with her. I can't believe she lied I can't believe she went behind our backs'

'I know Edward but she was scared, think about how crushed she is' I tried to tell him

'I don't see why, she shouldn't have any feelings for the mutt'

'Edward'

'Bella! I just can't take it! I hate it, I hate him! I couldn't bare it with you but now my daughter? My daughter?' he stood up and started pacing frantically.

'You think I like it?' I said, getting up and following him

He didn't answer.

'Alice is inviting him tonight Edward' I whispered quietly

'I know she is Bella and trust me I'll have plenty to say to him. How dare he upset my daughter like this? What did he do to her?'

'I don't know Edward'

After a few moments a horrid realisation came to me. What would cause Renesmee to be so upset by this?

'Edward…you don't think, you don't think he…' I couldn't bring myself to say the words

'What Bella?'

'You don't think he slept with her do you?'

Edward's face turned to rage.

'He wouldn't dare' he snarled 'if he even layed a finger on my daughter I'll fucking kill the mutt!'

I pushed the thought away; I couldn't bear to even think it. If he'd touched my daughter I'd be the one killing him. My beautiful, perfect, innocent daughter. I loved her so much, I wanted to hug her and tell her everything was going to be okay but she wouldn't come near me. The thought that my daughter now hated me almost crippled me with pain

'She hates me Edward' I whispered

'She doesn't, she's just hurt' Edward assured me, coming closer to me and wrapping me in his arms.

'Do you think he resents her because of who she is?' I asked

'It's likely, however he knows who she is now and he did agree to come tonight'

'It's the imprint'

'I don't know, it's a powerful thing imprinting, but it's more than you think'

'I don't care who she loves Edward, I don't even care if it's Jacob Black I know he'll be good to her, I just want her to be happy'

'I know Bella, I know.'

…

~ RENESMEE ~

Later that night after I was dressed in my ridiculous costume and shoes, Alice was working on my hair. She'd decided to just brush it and leave it down and apply some red lipstick to me and mascara. I already had pale skin and after I put my teeth in I couldn't help but smile a little. I had never dressed like this before; I did feel a lot more grown up.

Around seven, people started to arrive and I made my way downstairs. Nina crashed into me immediately and hugged me tightly.

'Oh my gosh Renesmee you look so hot! Let me guess, vampire?'

I smiled at her and flashed my teeth and winked.

'I should of thought of that!' she whined 'can you guess what I am?'

'Erm I'm not sure'

'A cat duh!' she stated pointing to the little cat ears on her head. She had on a little black leotard with a tail attached to it.

'Right'

She rolled her eyes, 'by the way this is an amazing party! Your sister is a genius!' she squealed excitedly before running off again somewhere. I took into what Alice had done to the house in just a few hours. She had transformed the house into a night club, but tens time better than any night club of course. Halloween decorations lined the house but it was just enough that it wasn't tacky an cheap. Illuminous lights flickered and the living room had an eerie and spooky glow to it. I looked around and everybody seemed to be having a great time, dancing and eating. One thing was for sure, Alice sure could throw a party. Esme and Carlisle had gone out; parties not really being their thing but the rest of my family were there in the background. None of them really joining in though, my family hadn't exactly been a happy one lately.

I looked toward the door as more people started to arrive and the scent came at me fast and hard. A scent I could never forget if I lived for another millennium. Flanked by two of his huge friends, Jacob Black walked through my door and I think my heart stopped.

…

At first I couldn't believe it, but there he was right in front of my eyes. All 6ft 7 glorious inches of him. What was going on? How the hell was he here? And most importantly why?

As if reading my mind Alice came up behind me and whispered in my ear.

'We brought him here for you, we knew how miserable you were Renesmee, you need to fix things'

I didn't respond. I couldn't respond. My feet seemed to stay rooted to the spot.

As soon as Jacob made eye contact with me, Alice hugged me from behind quickly and fluttered off again. As soon as his eyes locked with mine I could see all the pain and the tension in his eyes drift away and he immediately made his way over to me, his friends hanging back a little.

Instinctively I retreated a few steps but he caught up to me and grabbed my arm pulling me close to him.

'Nessie' he breathed and the sound of his voice almost made me lose my balance.

'My beautiful, beautiful Nessie' he said gently, bringing his finger up to trace my cheekbone.

I didn't even know what to say, I wanted to jump him, I wanted to attack him and I wanted to cry all at the same time but I just remained frozen. He couldn't be here, how was my father allowing this? He didn't even let me respond before he crushed his lips against mine. I wanted to push him off me and resist but I couldn't. I kissed him back furiously clutching his neck and pulling him down toward me, not caring who was watching, not caring what I was doing, not caring where I was. His hands wrapped around my waist and we kissed until we were both breathless and gasping for air. I clutched onto him and his lips never left my skin, he started trailing kisses down my jaw and my neck, sucking lightly and I closed my eyes, savouring every second. It was sinfully delightful, the hauntingly empty loneliness I had felt seemed to melt away with his lips on my skin, basked in his warm embrace I actually felt alive for the first time in weeks. The emotions running through me were on a high wire and I could not find the will to let go. Despite everything I still felt that this was where I belonged.

To the side, I saw Rosalie standing there staring, wide eyed with her mouth hanging open. She looked disgusted angry and hurt all together. I managed to pry Jacob away and he turned and saw Rosalie watching us.

She hissed violently and Jacob growled in response.

'Keep your filthy hands off my niece you mutt' she snarled

'Or what?' Jacob growled

'Or I'll fucking rip you apart! You disgust me'

'Likewise'

'Shut up, both of you!' my dad said, making his way over 'this is not the time for this'

'This is exactly the time!' Rosalie argued

'No it isn't, we'll discuss things after the party, do you want us to be exposed?' my dad growled

Reluctantly Rosalie walked away and so did my father before giving me one last lingering look. Jacob took the opportunity to wrap his arms around me again.

'You look so beautiful right now Nessie… and sexy' he whispered, backing me against the wall.

I was so angry at him, I was still hurt, I was heartbroken in fact and I wanted to push him away and yell and scream and attack but I didn't want to. I didn't want to cause a scene, so I just let him do whatever he wanted.

'I haven't stopped thinking about you, you know' he whispered leaning down to trail kisses down my neck 'I wanted to come find you, but I didn't know where you lived' he said between kisses.

'I don't care what you are Nessie, I hope you know that' he said kissing down further, against my collar bone.

I started breathing heavily as he kissed there lightly.

How could he be so calm? How could he pretend that nothing had happened? How could he pretend everything was okay?

'I love you so much' he whispered 'I missed you so much' he said making his way down to place kisses on my cleavage.

He brought his right hand up to gently caress the top of my breasts and then brought his mouth back to mine and I kissed him back.

All while I kissed him, I tried to believe it, I tried my hardest to pretend that he really was in love with me but the horrible truth was always there. He didn't love me; he loved Bella, my mother and I was choking back tears.

I don't know how long the party went on for but eventually people started to leave, passing me to tell me what a great party it was all the while Jacob showered me with kisses. It could have been days I stayed backed away that wall.

Eventually there was just my family left and Nahuel and Nina.

Nina came over to hug me and Jacob finally removed himself from me, and I felt like I could breathe again. I said goodbye to Nina who assured me it was the best party ever and I realised I hadn't said one word all night to Jacob and I was glad he was off me. Now that everybody had left I was started to feeling that anger I had suppressed earlier. Jacob made his way back over to me but I pushed him away and walked over to Nahuel.

'I think it's time we talk…' Rosalie started but I cut her off by pulling Nahuel down to me and kissing him fiercly on the lips. He struggled with me and eventually managed to push me off. He stared at me, his eyes angry and furious and there were sharp intakes of breath from the rest of my family surrounding me and on the other side of the room Jacob looked heartbroken.

'What the hell are you doing Renesmee?' Nahuel shouted

'What?' I retorted 'you love me right? Isn't this what you want?'

'Stop this right now Renesmee, you're just trying to get back at Jacob and it's childish and immature' my father said sternly.

I looked at my mother who was standing there with a sad face, looking just as heartbroken as Jacob. I felt nothing but anger towards her.

'Getting back at me for what?' Jacob said, looking straight at me.

'FOR LOVING BELLA!' Edward bellowed

'That's in the past!' Jacob shouted back 'it's irrelevant!'

'TELL HER THAT!'

'Ness' Jacob started toward me but I held out my hand, stopping him from reaching me.

'No, you stay away' I said, my voice was low and all wrong.

'Renesmee! It was in the past' my mother insisted, coming forward and holding onto my arm tightly.

'WHY DO YOU CARE ANYWAY?' Rosalie screeched 'you don't need him, he's a dog, you're so much better! Who the hell cares'

'JUST SHUT UP ROSALIE' My dad screamed

'Renesmee, you need to stop being so ridiculous' my mother said, anger was showing on her face now. She was getting annoyed.

'GET OFF ME' I shouted, trying my hardest to break away from her but she held me tightly, and I could feel the indents she was making in my wrist.

'You're hurting me!' I yelled, 'let go of me'

'NO!' she shouted 'this stops now!'

'GET OFF HER' Jacob growled coming forward and ripping my mother away from me.

When I looked down at my wrist it was red and sore.

Jacob marched forward and took my wrist in his hand, examining it gently.

'You hurt her!' he rounded on my mother

My mother didn't look sorry, or remorseful, she just looked angry.

'Don't tell me how to handle my own child!' she said, standing in an aggressive crouch.

'Bella, calm down' Alice said and suddenly she stood up, visibly calmer.

'Dammit Jasper!' she said

Bella tried to inch closer to me but Jacob stood in front of me, not letting her get to me.

'You won't touch her' he said low and dangerously

'Move now Jacob! She's my daughter'

'She's my imprint'

'YOU CANNOT HAVE HER, SHE'S MINE DO YOU HEAR ME? MINE'

'I'M NOT YOURS!' I screeched moving from Jacob so I could face her,and with that I charged at my own mother knocking her into wall which started to crumble on her. I felt cold hands pry me off her and I kicked and screamed trying to get free.

'WHY? WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS?' Rosalie shouted, helping my mother up who looked like she was going to cry, if she could. 'I HATE IT, I HATE IT! IT'S YOU, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU RUINED EVERYTHING YOU MUTT' and then she charged at Jacob but I immediately ran over to place myself in front of him.

She came to a half and sneered when she saw me in front of him.

'You'd pick him over me?'

I didn't answer and I felt Jacob's arms tighten around my waist, pulling me backwards slightly so I wasn't so close to a furious Rosalie.

'ANSWER ME!' She screamed 'us or your family, it's one or the other'

Everybody was staring at me, obviously waiting for an answer.

'Him' I whispered.

After a few moments where everybody was silent I turned around to face Jacob.

'I pick you, always and forever and I don't care if you love my mother, I don't care if you only love me because of her' I breathed, I was tired of fighting everything, I was tired of being without him, I was tired of every single thing.

'Silly Nessie' Jacob whispered caressing my face 'I think the only reason I ever loved Bella was because it was you all along, it was fate. I do not love Bella, I love you. You, you, you, you, always and forever never anybody else. I don't care what you are, how old you are, who your family is, you're the only thing that matters.

And then the tears came.

All the tears I'd been holding back for weeks and weeks, all the hurt, it felt like it was exploding out of me and I couldn't hold on or contain it anymore. I just cried, sobbed actually.

'Renesmee' my mother whispered, her voice was broken and barely a whisper.

I turned around to face her and her face was a mask of agony and pain. I just shook my head and turned back around to Jacob.

'Shh Nessie' he soothed, pulling me into a hug against him 'it's all going to be okay, I love you'

'Renesmee, I'm so sorry' Rosalie whispered quietly.

Jacob just held me tighter, running his fingers through my hair, soothing me.

I just cried harder and eventually felt myself being lifted up and carried up the stairs.

I heard my mother following behind but my dad held her back.

'No Bella, we need to leave her be for the moment'

'But Edward…'

'No' my dad said with a final tone

I then heard my family emptying out of the house and I cried even harder knowing that I'd driven them all away.

'They all hate me' I cried

'No they don't, nobody could ever hate you' Jacob said, carrying me to my bedroom. I vaguely wondered how he knew which one was mine. Probably my scent.

He sat down on my bed and pulled me into his lap.

'I thought you'd never come and find me, I thought you hated me' I cried

'Never, I was always going to come find you'

'I…I did think you hated me, I'm a monster, a half breed, unnatural'

'You're perfect' he assured me 'and I wouldn't wish for anybody else in the whole world, I love you more than my own life'

I don't even know how long I stayed there crying but eventually the tears ceased.

'Promise you won't leave me' I begged, I didn't care if I looked desperate and clingy or weak, I needed him with me, I was still heartbroken.

'Never'

I shifted uncomfortably in his lap, the corset was making it difficult for me to breathe and I was aching all over. Sensing exactly what was wrong; Jacob lifted me up slightly and started to pull the zipper off the dress down. I immediately froze. I didn't have anything on underneath, and this is not how I wanted Jacob to see me naked for the first time. A crying, emotional mess.

'Jacob…' I started to protest but he bent his lips to neck placing a small kiss there.

'Shh, trust me'

I nodded and he went back to unzipping the dress. When he had unzipped it all the way I felt him shuffle behind me and I heard him take his shirt off.

He gently pushed the dress down and then placed a kiss to my bare shoulder. I was faced away from him so he couldn't see anything and I couldn't see him. I shivered from the warm contact.

He slowly pulled his shirt over my head and I raised my arms to put them through. When that was on he lifted me up and placed me on the floor to stand and removed the rest of my dress before reaching to slip off my shoes and then he lifted me back onto the bed and into his arms. I started crying again because of how perfect and gentle he was being with me.

'I'm sorry' I cried, and I was. I was sick of crying.

'It's okay to cry Nessie' Jacob whispered placing a kiss on the top of my head.

'I love you' he said softly, holding me tightly to him.

'I love you Jacob, so much.'

I heard him draw an intake of breath and then let out a long sigh, of relief I think.

He bent down to nuzzle my neck, whispering 'I love you' over and over again.

I fell asleep in Jacob's arms and when I woke up in the morning he was still there, his arms wrapped tightly around me.

I turned around in his arms so I was facing him and reached up stroke his face gently. He looked so angelic and innocent whilst he was sleeping. I felt an overwhelming surge of warmth rise up in my body that I recognised as love. I was in love with Jacob Black. Why hadn't I realised it sooner? Now it seemed so painfully obvious. I gently traced his face until his eyes started to flutter open and when they did he looked right at me and smiled and then closed his eyes back again.

'I'm in heaven' he murmured

I giggled lightly, still tracing his face 'nope, just here with boring old me'

He smiled again and suddenly shifted and pinned me down to the bed resting his weight over me and started tickling me.

I laughed loudly

'Does this tickle? Do you want to be tickled first thing in the morning?' he said and my ribs started to hurt from laughing so much.

'Sorry, sorry' I choked, still laughing.

He stopped then and brought his hand up to trace my face 'I forgive you then' he smiled

'Feeling better?' he asked

'Yes' I whispered

He bent his head and kissed my jawline and chin gently before pressing his lips to mine. I kissed him back forcefully, wrapping my arms around his neck, trying to bring him closer to me. His tongue traced my bottom lip and I opened my mouth granting him entrance. As soon as his tongue met mine I sighed and held on him tighter. He deepened the kiss and his tongue traced the entrance of my mouth and I did the same. I wanted to taste him. He tasted just like he smelled, woodsy, musky, heaven.

I felt his hands start to roam my sides and down to my hip where he squeezed gently. And then his hand started to travel upwards, across my sides and then over to stomach and finally up to my breast. He cupped my breast and I could still feel his warm hand through the material. I let out an audible sigh and had to break away from the kiss for air. Jacob continued to kiss every part of my face and the hand covering my breast squeezed gently. I moaned and I felt Jacob smile against my neck. The hand that was covering my breast trailed down to the hem of my shirt and the bottom and played gently, I could feel his fingers on my bare skin just above my hip. It felt scorching hot but in the best way possible. He looked into my eyes and I knew he was asking for permission. I nodded and brought his lips back down to mine. I felt his hands trail up my bare skin and I felt like every fibre of me being was on fire. His hands played over my ribcage as it gently made its way up.

When his hand finally reached my breast he massaged and squeezed gently and I sighed into his mouth. He broke away to kiss my neck.

'You're so soft' he whispered 'so perfect'

'I love you' I whispered back, lacing my fingers through his hair.

'I love you Nessie, more than anything'

'Mhmm' I murmured.

'Jacob Black, get your filthy hands off my daughter right now' I heard my dad shout from downstairs.

I groaned and Jacob brought his face back up to mine, kissing me once more gently and squeezing my breast one last time before removing his hand and I whined at the loss of contact.

'I guess daddy's home' Jacob grinned

I rolled my eyes and forced myself up into a sitting position.

When I was decently dressed and Jacob was back in his shirt we went back downstairs hand in hand.

Bella snarled at the sight but her face immediately softened when she turned around to look at me.

'Take a seat Renesmee' my dad said calmly.

I did as he said and then he looked at me gently and Jacob angrily.

'So what?' Rosalie finally said, 'you're going to let her be with the dog and that's that?'

'Silence Rosalie' my dad instructed

'You can't be serious! She has Nahuel'

'I don't want Nahuel' I shouted, grateful that Nahuel wasn't here at this precise moment.

'Why?' Rosalie insisted

'Because I don't love him, I love Jacob'

She laughed once sarcastically without humour.

'Love...'

My dad cut her off with a menacing growl.

'I said enough' he snarled and then he turned back around to face me.

'I don't even know what to say' he finally admitted

'I love him daddy'

He sighed heavily and glanced at Jacob.

'I love her Edward, and you can read my mind, you can see yourself'

'Renesmee you could do so much better' Rosalie interrupted 'you deserve the very best in life, you deserve everything, you don't have to settle for him just because he imprinted on you, that's his problem not yours'

I tried my very hardest to ignore her. I loved my Aunt Rose to death but right now she was getting on my very last nerve. The way she was insulting Jacob as if he was nothing was really starting to get to me. What gave her the right to start insulting him for no reason other than loving me?

My dad looked like he was torn; he kept looking at me and then Jacob.

'You can't be seriously considering this Edward!' Rosalie said astounded, rising to her feet.

'Do I have no support here?' she asked looking around to all of my family members 'surely were not going to allow this!'

'It's really none of our business who Renesmee chooses to love' Alice interceded and I threw her a grateful smile.

'If you love him darling, you should be with him' Esme said walking over to me to run her fingers through my hair 'I support you with whatever you choose'

'Thanks grandma' I said and she kissed my head gently.

'Alice is right Rosalie' Jasper spoke up 'it's her choice'

Emmett didn't say anything but he didn't agree with Rosalie either and of course Carlisle agreed with Esme. My mother stayed silent for a few moments before finally walking over to me and pulling me away from Jacob into a bone crushing hug.

'I love you so much honey, you're the most precious thing to me in the world, whoever you want to love is your choice, nobody else's'

My mother's response stunned me for a few moments but I returned the hug and whispered thank you into her ear glad this feud between us was over. I loved her to death and always will.

I shouldn't let what happened in hers and Jacob's past affect me for the rest of my life. That was before I was born and it was over now. Things were different now, Jacob loved me and momma loved daddy. I had to let go.

As soon as momma let me go my dad surprised me the most by pulling me forward into a tight embrace.

'I love you no matter what, no I'm not going to lie Jacob Black was not my first choice for my beloved angel but I can see in his mind he really does love you, really and truly and that's all I could ever ask for'

'I love you daddy and sorry for everything' I said hugging him tightly.

'I love you too, more than anything.'

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