I don't own Ranma½ or X-Men:Evolution, so I can't make any money of of them. Whoever thought of that %*$%#& rule belongs in the same asylum Magneto put Wanda in!

Okay I changed the rating because of the contents of the last chapter. It was needful, because the content was necessary for the story, although I tried mainly to be suggestive and circumspect As I said before I'm not a regular fan of such stuff, so if you are hoping to read future chapters filled of gratuitous sex, rape, slash, yoai or yuri-look elsewhere, you SICK %*$%#& TWISTED PERVERTS!

To better explain Konatsu: Simply put, other mutants' powers won't work with him. Telepaths can't read him, objects sent his way by telekinesis simply drop to the side. Cyclops's optic blasts and Storm's lightning would simply dissolve around him, and he can touch Rogue. His powers, obviously, would have no effect on Pantyhose Taro, and he is not immune to Ms. Hinako's(because they're not mutants).

Chapter 13

"WHY is he laughing?" cried Mystique. Mousse was still on the floor, chortling like a hyena.

Todd scratched his head. "I dunno; maybe he's trying to get into the Guinness Book of Records."

Mousse then stopped, only to point at Pietro. "You," he said between guffaws, "are SCREWED! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"And just WHAT does he mean by that?" Mystique snapped.

The purple-haired Chinese girl produced a book, then tossed it into the air. Todd flicked his tongue into the air and caught it. Opening the now slimy book , he flipped through the pages. "Ahem. Ah. H'm." he mumbled.

"Duh, what does it say, Toad?" asked Freddy.

"How should I know?" shrugged Todd. "I can't read Chinese."

"Give me that." Angrily Mystique snatched the book from Todd, then, after wiping the slime off it's covers, opened it. She couldn't read Chinese either, but after looking through pages, she found a Japanese translation, and she could read that language.

The boys all looked at Mystique, Pietro nervously. He was afraid after what she'd read, she'd give him another 'personal session,' this time with that Billy Ray Cyrus music playing. All of a sudden, Mystique did something even more frightening.

She laughed along with Mousse.

Sighing Pietro broke himself out of Shampoo's arms. "All right, I'll find out what this means myself."

He picked up the book and rushed upstairs.

A few doors down from Lance's room there was a library the previous owner had put in. Sometimes Mystique came in here to read, but most of the other residents rarely used it. One time however, when he had nothing else to do, Pietro came in and read every single book on the shelves. He'd forgotten most of what he'd read, but he did remember something that could help him now.

He looked through the shelves. Here we go, he thought. Basics of the Chinese Language. Learning to read Chinese. Translating Chinese into English.

On the floor, Mystique had finally come out of her laughing fit. "So," she said, "you're from the same village here as Mu Tsu, are you?"

"Yes." The girl Xian Pu, or as her name sounded to English-speaking ears, Shampoo, nodded. She glared icily at Mousse. "Him banished from village."

"Why is that?" Mystique figured the tale would be interesting.

"Because Mu-Tsu always pester Xian Pu," the girl said bitterly. "He keep proposing marriage and not take no for answer. Finally, Xian Pu agree to marriage challenge-at Jusenkyo."

"Jusen-" Mystique turned back to Mousse, who had just stopped laughing as well. "She caused you to fall into that cursed spring!"

"That's right, she did." Mousse produced a Super Soaker filled with water from the sleeves of his jacket. Without a word, he squirted Shampoo. "I paid her back too."

All of a sudden the bed sheet Shampoo had wrapped around herself fell to the floor. From the rumpled up sheet emerged a small white cat with purple fur and a tail.

Mystique arched her eyebrow. "So you did." Wheels were churning in her head. This girl showed no sign of being a mutant. Still, she may prove useful-even if only to make Pietro miserable. "Blob, go to the kitchen and get a cup full of hat water. Make sure it's just hot, not boiling."

Fred went to the kitchen and came back with the hot water. After dipping her left paw into the cup turned her back into a human, Shampoo wrapped herself back in her bed sheet. "You told us how you and Mousse know each other," she said. "Now tell us why you are here and not back at your village."

Shampoo told them about how the red-haired girl and the panda-she did not give any names-came to her village and ate the food that was meant to be her prize. Shampoo had then accepted the girl's challenge, hoping to make her pay-and was beaten."According to village law, I give girl Kiss of Death. Now I track girl to here in America. When find girl-I KILL!"

Mystique decided she liked this girl. "Very well. Now tell me," she said carefully, "have you noticed anything-strange-about your 'arien?'"

"He real fast. Why?"

"Well you see, China Doll," Todd leaped over Shampoo's head and land next to her-Shampoo's nose wrinkled at the smell- "that Pietro, me, an' the rest of the guys in this house here, we aint like other people."

"That's true," said Mystique. She had been in her Raven Darkholme guise; she shifted to her normal appearance. "We are what some would call 'mutants.'"

Shampoo glanced over at her former tribesman. "Mu Tsu too?"

"You've got it." Mousse unleashed a chain from his left sleeve that wrapped around Shampoo like a snake, picked her up and set her back down.

"Now you know what we are," said Mystique, "what do you think about us?"

Shampoo shrugged. "So that why Arien so fast."

Mystique was taken aback. She knew not all normal humans would hate or fear mutants once they learned about them-Genma hadn't for instance. As far as she was concerned they were the exception that proved the rule, but they were usually at least shocked.

Maintaining her composure, Mystique went on, "It is important that we keep a low profile. If you want to stay here for now, you must help us keep our secret. If you find this girl you are after, dispose of her quietly and secretly-is that understood?"

Shampoo nodded.

"Say," said Lance, "what is Pietro doing anyway? I thought I saw him head for the-"

Just then from the library upstairs, came Pietro's voice. "NNNNNNOOOOOOO!"

Logan batted at his ear. "I thought I heard something."

Genma was sitting next to him at the bar. "Probably something left over from that microchip Professor Xavier removed from your head."

Logan grunted then took a pull on his beer. "You've had it pretty interesting yourself. That boy of yours sure has a knack for making people want to hurt him, doesn't he?"

"He'll manage. He always does. By the way, I'm proud of the way you told me Kurt handled himself too."

"I expected you would be." Logan set down his beer glass. "So you've already been teaching him how to use a katana?"

"A ninjaken,* actually. No, just a boken for now. Won't be long, however." Genma drain his glass, then ordered another from the bartender. "I tell you that boy was born to be a ninja! He has such amazing dexterity, he already can handle the boken better then I can!"

Now Genma paused. He had, before Ranma was born, designed a style of fighting that seemed perfectly suited for someone like Logan. True, the last person he taught it to had caused the roof of his Dojo to collapse, killing him instantly. But Logan seemed more than capable of handling it; he wouldn't make the same careless mistakes.

Genma sipped his beer again. This was something he had to think about.

"All right!" Todd yelled. "It's the last day of school!"

Shampoo had woken the boys all up at six a. m. Which they normally hated, but she'd fixed breakfast.

"Man, this is good." said Lance as he forked some scrambled eggs into his mouth. "I tell you, you're a really good cook!"

Shampoo smiled, then walked over to Pietro. She set a hand on his shoulder. "It wife's duty to cook for husband and household!" She glared over at where Mousse was sitting. "Even if household include village outcast." Mousse however, only snickered, enjoying the stricken look on Pietro's face.

Konatsu came into the kitchen dressed like a French maid. The other guys looked down trying not to notice; they wondered where Konatsu had gotten that outfit-then decided they didn't want to know.

Except for Pietro. He got out of his chair. "Look, ah, Shampoo-," he began, "this whole you wanting to marry me because I beat you in a fight-it aint going to work out." He took her hands in his. "Don't get me wrong. Thisweekendwasoneofthebest! You'reoneofthebestgalsIeverhad! AndI'vehadalot! It'snotyou! It'sme!" He sped over to behind where Lance and Mousse were sitting. "Askanyonewhoknowsme! I'mapervert! I'macreep!" He then appeared right behind Konatsu. "I'llgropeanygirlwhostrikesmyfancy!See!" He grabbed Konatsu's 'bosom' and paused. Something didn't feel right-.

"Hentai!" Pietro's face slammed against the kitchen wall. Konatsu had his right hand around Pietro's neck and an angry expression on his pretty face.

Lance giggled. "Ah, Pietro, Konatsu's not exactly into guys."

"Yeah," Mousse smirked. "And he is one too."

Pietro's jaw dropped. Sure, he'd seen his share of drag queens and transvestites on the streets of New York, but this,creature standing before him looking like the very model of femininity,was a guy?

Shampoo walked over to Pietro. Konatsu let him go and Shampoo caressed him. "Not anymore. Now Pietro belong Shampoo," she cooed, her large breasts rubbing against his chest.

Inside Pietro's mind, his logic warred with his libido:

Yes,Yes! Letstakehernow!

No!Ifwedo,she'llonlygetherclawsintousdeeper!

Whocares! Let'stakeherbacktoourroomforaquickonerightnow!

Haven'tyougottenusintoenoughtrouble?

Whocares?She'shot! She'sgorgeuous! Andshewantsus!

Andshewantstobetheonlyhotandgorgeousbabewe'lleverscorewithagainfortherestofourlives!

Pietro's head rolled back. "He fainted!" Shampoo cried.

Lance shrugged. "In all the time I've known him, this is the first I ever saw him standing still."

Mystique, in her Principal Darkholme guise, walked in. "What happened here?"

"Pietro tried to hit on Konatsu,"Lance said, "and got more than he bargained for."

"I knew that was going to happen," Mystique snorted. She sniffed. "What smells so good?

Shampoo straightened herself, and bowed to Mystique. "Shampoo make breakfast for husband and household."

"Nice to see someone is making herself useful around here for a change," said Mystique. "Go ahead, and find that girl you're looking for. Konatsu will wash the dishes."

"Thank you!" Shampoo picked up Pietro, and carried him over her shoulder. "First put Airen on sofa and wait for him to wake up. Then look for girl."

As Shampoo walked out the kitchen door, Mystique looked at Konatsu. "Konatsu, dear?" she asked him in Japanese, "You've already cleaned up the living room area. Could you please wash the dishes after we are done eating? Then take out the trash? And go shopping for some groceries. I've made a list and the grocer just down the block is from Japan so you won't have any trouble understanding him."

Konatsu bowed his head "Yes, Raven-sama."

Todd crossed his arms and snorted. "I don't know what creeps me out more, the new guy wearin' dresses and actin' all girly, or the way the boss lady acts so nice to 'im."

Now Mystique sniffed again, at something that didn't smell so good. "Oh, and could you give Mr. Tolansky a bath? He really needs it."

"At once, Raven-sama." Konatsu walked to where Todd was sitting, and picked him up by the collar of his shirt.

"Hey, what're you doin'?" cried Todd as Konatsu carried him out of the kitchen. "Where are you takin' me? What, not there! No. No. No!" The last one was a wail, "NNNNNNOOOOOO!"

"-so, like, on my way to study hall, I run across Todd Tolansky," said Kitty Pride. "And the weird thing is, like, today, he didn't smell. At least, nowhere near as bad as he usually does." She paused. "Do you suppose he took a bath?"

"Nah," answered Rogue. It was lunchtime and the two of them were looking for a place to eat; they were both sick of cafeteria food. "He probably just hired some lookalike with good hygiene to fill in for 'im."

"Say, what about this place," said Kitty. "They've got a great salad bar!"

"I guess," Rogue shrugged. She wasn't a vegetarian like Kitty but she liked to eat healthy-and no way was she going to fill up on grease at Burger Bomb like Kurt.

Just before they could step inside, a strange voice called, "You, skunk-hair!"

The two girls looked and saw a purple-haired Chinese girl standing a few feet away. Kitty fidgeted nervously. "Is she-?"

"Yeah, that's the girl we told ya' about," said Rogue. "Alright Shampoo," she said, facing the Chinese girl and trying not to giggle at her name, "whaddya want?"

"You girl I see with Ranma. Tell me where she is!"

Rogue started to take of her gloves, but Kitty stepped in between then. "Now, now, let's not cause a scene. Let's go into that alleyway and talk this over, shall we?"

Shampoo and Rogue both nodded, and they ducked into the alleyway between the restaurant and an abandoned warehouse. "Okay, now lets talk."

"Tell Shampoo where Ranma is. Then I kill!"

"Now now. Ms.-Shampoo, is it? Ranma's our friend, and we are not about to let anyone go kill hi-er her."

Shampoo looked at Kitty, then at Rogue. "You hide Ranma. You both-" suddenly her bonborri maces appeared in her hands, "-I kill!"

Konatsu was walking happily along the streets of Bayville, grocery bags in his arms. Mr. Yamodo at the grocery store was so nice and helpful at finding the stuff on Raven-sama's list. And if he happened to be staring at Konatsu's chest while he was doing it, well, he hadn't done anything more than look.

Konatsu had changed out of the French maid outfit into a floral print sun dress. It felt so good to be outside on such a bright and sunny day, with the birds singing and the sun shining down on his smooth skin. If some of the men walking by leered at him well-they better not do anything more than leer Konatsu thought grimly.

As he turned a corner, he heard something. It wasn't sure, but it sounded like mangled English and Chinese. Dropping his bags, Konatsu ran to the alleyway where he heard the nose coming from

Kitty had never felt so useless. In her intangible state she couldn't help Rogue fight Shampoo-but if she turned tangible, Shampoo would just swat her aside like a horse swatting a fly; this girl was an uncommonly good fighter. She got up and phased inside the warehouse, maybe she could find something useful in there.

Rogue's back was to a wall. Both her gloves were off but that did her no good; she could only drain Shampoo if their skin made direct contact-and the only parts of Shampoo's body that were exposed were her face and neck. The Chinese girl's bonborris allowed her to strike and keep a safe enough distance from Rogue's hands.

Rogue just narrowly missed being brained by one bonborri then got kicked in the stomach. If I don't drain her soon, she thought, I'm done for!

Unexpectedly, Kitty phased back into the alleyway and tripped Shampoo with a long heavy metal rod she'd found. The Chinese girl fell to the ground, and Rogue touched the side of her face.

"Thanks Kitty," she said. Much of the time her perky roommate annoyed her but Rogue was really glad to see her this time. She looked down at the prostrate Shampoo. "I tell ya, that is one tough girl."

"Yeah, I'll say," said Kitty. "Do we just leave her here?"

"Nah, the 'professor wants us to take her to 'im, see if he can talk some reason inta her." Rogue sighed. "Go to a pay phone and call the mansion; maybe someone can come by to pick us up."

Konatsu stood at the alleyway. He'd just seen those two girls knock out Shampoo, the girl who was a guest of Raven-sama's, like himself. He had to help her.

Kitty had just turned towards the street when she saw this strange Asian girl kick her legs out from under her. Seeing Kitty in trouble, Rogue ran up and touched the stranger in the face.

Nothing happened. Rogue gapped in wonder, but only for a second. The girl grabbed her arm, twisted it behind Rogue's back, and slammed her face down in the dirt.

Konatsu wasn't there to seriously hurt them; he only wanted to help Shampoo. He picked her up, put her over his left shoulder, and jumped up the fire escapes to the roofs. The Brotherhood of Bayville Boardinghouse was only a couple of blocks away on the other side of these buildings, he should be able to make it without being spotted.

Just as Konatsu came to the roof, Shampoo came to. She looked down and saw Rogue and Kitty getting to their feet.

Groggily, she brought her hand to her mouth and kissed it not once but twice. I blow both of you Kiss of Death, she thought. When better, I track you down-and I kill!

Kitty and Rogue looked up at Shampoo just before the Chinese girl and Konatsu disappeared. "Did she just blow us kisses," Kitty asked.

"Looks like it," said Rogue, "and I don't think she meant anything good by it either."

"Who do you think that girl was, anyway? The one that rescued Shampoo from us."

"I don't know. Maybe someone else from that weird tribe of hers." Rogue looked down at her hand. "The real scary thing is I touched her-and nothing happened."

"Nothing-" Kitty started, then looked at her watch. "Oh shoot! My Earth Science exam started fifteen minutes ago! How am I going to explain this to Mr. Watkins?"

"This girl you fought," Mystique looked down at Shampoo, "she touched and she drained you?" That could only have been Rogue, Mystique thought.

"Yes." Shampoo was sitting on the couch in the Brotherhood Boardinghouse. The others were all sitting around, listening to her story. "I see her with girl I'm chasing before; I try to ask her question. Next time I see her-."

"This girl you are after-what's her name?"

"Ranma."

Now Mystique was furious. "You will NOT kill Ranma! I'll kill you first before I allow it!"

"Ranma beat Shampoo! Humiliate her before whole village! Tribal law say that if woman from outside beat Amazon, she must give Kiss and Death, and Kill!"

"Ranma is a man."

"What?" Shampoo couldn't believe her ears. "That woman that beat Shampoo!"

"Yes. But Ranma is a mutant, as I am. Sometimes," Mystique changed her shape a couple of times, just to show her point, "he turns into a girl. What is more he's my son."

"Ranma your-son?"

"Yes," Mystique said. "That's why I won't allow you to harm him."

Now Shampoo was confused, she didn't know how the village law covered this one. True, there were some in her tribe who had been beaten by women who turned out to have been men cursed by the Spring of Drowned Girl. They normally took them as husbands. But this wasn't the same. "I must go in private," she said as she got up from the couch. "Need to call village and talk to Great Grandmother."

As she left the room, Pietro's mind warred with itself again.

Yes! Wearefree! She'llhavetoleavehereandmarrythatgirlyboyandwewon'thaveherclingingtousanymore!

ButIwannascrewheragain!

Diddn'tyouhearme?Wearefree!

ButIwannascrewher!

Wearefree!

Iwannascrewher

"That is serious news indeed, Child," the elder Amazon tribal leader spoke into her cell phone-the only cellular phone in the entire Amazon village. "Since Ranma, as it turns out, is really a man, then your Kiss of Death is void. However, since you have given the other the Kiss of Marriage, and then you consummated the marriage, that one will be your husband. Although he protests now, you must pursue him with all your might."

Ku-Logne closed the phone and set it down. She had misgivings about Xian Pu going off to America to chase after that Ranma person. But the girl had a mind of her own. And now it seems, had found herself in a very interesting situation.

Shampoo also told them that boy Mu Tsu who was banished months ago was there. She decided to stop by the boy's mother's house, to let her and his sisters know that he was all right. Mu Tsu's father had died two years ago and it had been very hard on the family; Mu Tsu's banishment made it even harder.

She decided she would go to Bayville, and help her great-granddaughter in her pursuit. Life had gotten stale these past several decades in the village anyway; some excitement might be more than welcome.

"Honorable Grandmother?" Ku-Logne turned and saw her middle-aged grandson Ah-ftar-shaiv had come into her hut.

"Welcome, grandson," she said. "Take a seat. It seems that your daughter had something unexpected happen in America."

End of chapter thirteen.

Okay, how did you like that one?

Shampoo is not a mutant. Obviously though, she can give the like of Rogue and Kitty-both at the same time!-everything they want and more.

Cologne will be coming to Bayville, but not until after the events of 'Sanctuary!' Just imagine how that will turn out!

How do you think Magneto will react, once he learns what Pietro has gotten himself into?Will he be furious with his son? Or will the situation amuse him?

And in 'Season 2' so to speak, I'll have Wanda show up earlier than she did in the T.V. Show. And guess who'll be coming with her to join in on the fun!

And finally how I HAVE to aske you readers:how disturbed do you think I am?

*A ninjaken is a type of sword specially used by ninjas. Normally straight and shorter than a samurai's katana, the ninjaken is a small arsenal in itself-hidden daggers were often built into the hilt or , shuriken were concealed inside the guard, and the scabbard could be converted into a javelin! Even the cloth wrapped around the hilt had a purpose-it could be used as a garrote! Not that Kurt would ever use it for that purpose, of course.