Minato stood off agains't his wife.
They were having a throw down.
Who was going to cook dinner tonight?
WHO WAS GOING TO COOK IT!
"I don't even see why we're arguing here. You're the only one who can cook anything besides ramen!" Shouted Minato.
"I'm not cooking because I was too busy shooing away all your little hussies today bastard!" Shouted the roly poly pregnant Kushina.
"TWO OUT OF FOUR TIMES I BURN THE WATER WHILE BOILING IT" MINATO SHOUTED finger slowly going into a seal poised for hirashin-ing
"I WILL SPIT IN YOUR EYE."
And she did. Minato clutched his eye, screaming about the burning!
"IT BURNS," shouted Minato, "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS KUSHINA, EVEN IF I HAVE TO PLAY STRIP MAHJONG TO DO IT!"
"What? And hurt the fetus? What kind of man are you Minato?" Asked Kushina.
"The negligent kind."
Kushina tapped her foot on the floor and put her hand on her waist.
Minato froze, but he knew he had to escaped before he was brain-ninja'd.
It was also time for his annual Go game with the Daimyo of Water Country.
The stakes were on.
"In a flash he was off," said Minato, "Kushina screaming at him as he went!"
"MINATO, YOU ASSHOLE! GET BACK HERE..." yelled Kushina. It was too late though, Minato was already gone.
He walked his jolly way up the steps to somewhere in the daimyo's castle or whatever and casually and silently walked past the guards who stared in return.
Slamming the doors open, his entrance was the best ever.
"Oh? Is that you little Minato?" Asked the Ruler dude.
"Why yes, it is your pudgyness!" Stated Minato.
"I see you've lost none of your wit my boy!"
"I see you've lost none of your weight my... uh ruler guy."
"Let's get down to business Boya, the terms of the game."
"Alright you geezer."
"If you loose Minato, you go Piledrive Kisame in Mizugakure."
"Piledrive huh?"
"He's a bastard."
"Sound's like it," said Minato, "What kind of name is Kisame anyway? Sound's like some kind of fish."
"He's a shark-man."
"A wha?"
"A shark-man, it's very simple to understand."
"I'm sure it is."
"So what is your side of the bet gaki?"
"I want Beth."
"Beth?"
"The lady who run's Mizugakure like a smooth pumping in the middle of the night."
"Oh, the Mizukage."
"That one."
"If you win. Which I doubt will happen. You haven't won a single game against me yet."
"I shall overtake you this time! I WILL"
They stared at each other across the board, tension building. It was almost as bad as that time he tried to play Hide the Sake with Ibiki's head.
"Your move ruler dude!" Chirped Minato, his plan coming to fruition.
"Okay but I'll win with this move."
Minato's face fell in shock. He was so close.
So close...
It had been that close, he had tasted it. It was delicious. It had tasted like a violent woman with relationship issues. He wished he could taste it again.
"So about that Kisame.."
"Where is he?"
"Mizugakure of course."
"Okay."
He had to see Beth. He had to see her and taste that taste again.
Even if a man shark had to be punished to do it.
"I come for you Beth. Let our love blossom like a flowering flower," Minato sung, "This is my weapon and it's all for you!"
He flashed in via Hirashin seal he left in the lobby area.
Opening the doors with the grace of the best Hokage there was, Him btw, he went to see Beth with a dazzling smile.
Only to see this fish-faced person seemingly flirting it up with his Beth!
He pointed his finger at the sharky fish man. It trembled as emotion streamed through his voice.
"You BASTARD! You get your fishy paws away from my woman!"
"Huh?" Said the Sharky fish man known as Kisame.
"Huh?" Said Beth, her reply both intelligent and confused.
But Minato didn't know it was Kisame, he never even thought of it.
But he did the first thing that came to mind anyways. It was something he was talking about not much earlier.
He piledrived that bastard into the ground.
"He was utterly surprised when he felt everything going into slow motion. It seemed as if the lights were flashing, and he swore he saw a bead of sweat fly off of him slow motion style. It was pretty damn awesome.
Kisame of course felt differently. He didn't know what was going on, or why there was a mans crotch dangerously close to his face. All he did know was that the floor was getting very close, and it seemed to be very angry.
A sicking thud made Kisame realize, this was not a good crotch to be looking at.
He realized that even more when his head ached like the morning after the graduation bender.
It was as Kisame's blue skull hit the floor, cloth covered balls less then an inch from his chin, that Beth whirled into action. She hopped over her desk, her hair waving behind her like some kind of cape.
"What the hell are you doing here and to my shinobi Namikaze?!" She yelled.
Minato being himself, replied the way you would expect. "It's not your shinobi I came to do Beth."
"Kisame did nothing to you.. you... you tree rapist!" Beth was mad.
"Kisame.. Kisame.. where have I heard that before." Minato pondered, pinkie resting at the corner of his mouth.
"Furthermore you are a brute, charging in here and just pile driving him like it was nothing!"
"AH! Yeah, Ruler dude told me to do it!"
"Ruler dude?"
"That one guy who lives in that giant castle. I lost a game of Go to him."
"You're telling me the Daimyo of Mizu, told you to pile drive Kisame?"
"By name in fact, called Shark-man a d-d-d-d-dick."
"That's troubling, that he wouldn't come to me first."
"I don't think he likes you too much to be honest."
"Oh?"
"He was willing to bet you away in a game of Go."
By the time Minato came to, he was floating down a river in a funeral pose saying 'I am dead'.
"I wonder how I got here." He muttered to himself.
He started to pull off his pants when he realized that he wanted a different kind of flash.
Quickly tightening his belt he hirashin'd to somewhere that weighed heavily on his heart.
We will spit in your Eye.
By the time you get here, it will.. atleast feel like we did.
Mwhahhaah.
Don't cry - From Lana-chan.
We here on the V would suggest you don't It hurts more with spit on your eye.