Disclaimer: You get the idea… Anyway, SORRY WE TOOK SO LONG!
I wasn't in the writing mood for the longest time, I know, stupidest excuse ever.
And I didn't want to force Mancy sooo… Plus, it's the end of the year so we had tests to study for! But we only have 6 days of school so then we will be able to write LOADS! Oh and I will start writing the next chappy tomorrow!
We are really sorry though! Hopefully some fluffles makes up for it…?
And now… After a very very long wait… Telemancer presents…
The next chappy!
(I don't even know what number it is, we've had so many sequels… We'll just count each publish as a chappy, yeah? I counted 421… Actually, just twelve, so this is thirteen?)
The group filed out of the hall, everyone talking and laughing, the Elders enjoying the last few moments before having to get back to work. Sarah joined Jeff, together heading up to the spa, Truffles the cow in tow. Donegan and Gracious headed off to continue what they were doing before, finding the Administrator. The Elders and Bearah walked up.
"Congratulations on your new position, I'm sure you'll do great!"
"Thank you! And no dip, Sherlock! Alex and I will definitely not get fired. You guys will be blown away, just you wait." Avis grinned up at Dexter and Saracen. Alex pouted.
"I still want to know if you two are a thing," she muttered. Dexter rolled his eyes.
"Shall we get to work? Skulduggery, Valkyrie, you offered to mentor! I'm pretty sure they don't have other clothes here, and we're not risking the mortal dimension unless we absolutely have to. I propose a shopping trip! And trying to find housing."
"Oh, housing won't be a problem!" Bearah injected. "I have an apartment." They all looked at her. Bearah shrugged. "I had a phase. In real estate. I'm actually making a fair amount of money."
"Just shopping then. Victorya, thanks for helping, but you have work to do. So do we. Skulduggery, Valkyrie, reasonable expenses will be paid for by the Sanctuary. Have fun shopping!" With that, Dexter, Saracen, and Bearah left. Valkyrie sighed.
"So we have to take them shopping?"
"Yes. Let's just get this over with."
"We're right here, you know!" Alex said, ruffled. Val smiled.
"C'mon, we have to go find the Bentley."
The parking lot was small, about ten of the thirty spaces filled. The day was cool, a dry wind raising goosebumps on uncovered skin. It was dreary, the sort of day that shuts you inside. The lot was empty, except the four. Skulduggery placed a gloved hand on his hat, holding it on as he strided towards the car. Valkyrie followed right beside, pulled her hood over the black ponytail, a few strands escaping, dancing in the wind. Avis and Alex had their heads down, arms wrapped around themselves, trying to keep warm. They looked up as the Bentley came into view. The polished black exterior gleamed, even on this lightless day. Skulduggery patted it. He pulled out the keys, unlocked the car so he didn't set off the perfectly normal, non-magical car alarm, and got in. Valkyrie slid into the passenger seat, an obviously habitual routine. The fangirls stood there, transfixed. Avis held out a timid finger, slowly approaching the side. Skulduggery poked his head out right as she poked it.
"Are you guys going to get - DON'T TOUCH THE BENTLEY, YOU'LL GET IT SMUDGED! I JUST CLEANED IT!"
"Sorry!" The blue haired girl pulled her finger away.
"Touch it again and I'll put you in the truck. Now would you please get in - only touching the handle!" They obeyed.
"Seatbelt." Skulduggery reminded. Two clicks resonated. The car purred to life. "Valkyrie, make sure they aren't touching the seats." He put it in gear, and they swung out of the lot, onto a bumpy, not-very-well-paved road. They had gone a few blocks before Avis began caressing the leather seat.
"It's so soft," she crooned.
"And shiny…" Alex added without touching it. Valkyrie craned her head to the backseat.
"She's petting the seat." Valkyrie informed Skulduggery.
"Stop! I will put you in the trunk!"
"Okay, okay!" Alex said for Avis.
"Al, it's so soft! Feel it!" The blue haired gushed unashamedly. The brunette glanced at Valkyrie and Skulduggery before petting the seat.
"It is!"
"That's it!" Skulduggery growled, stopping the car on the side of the road. "Out!"The fangirls shared at glance, rolling their eyes. All of a sudden, Avis' eyes widened.
"Watch - " Skulduggery swung open the left door and took a hold of Alex Banter's shoulders, pulling her out. Alex scrabbled at the seats, trying to hold onto something. She grabbed the inside handle, but she was no match for the Great Skeleton Detective. He picked the girl up, ignoring her kicking and flailing. Once the brunette was safely deposited, he turned towards Avis.
"Okay, okay, I'm moving!" She got out, muttering. She climbed into the truck with her friend. "Do I really have to do this?"
"I'll cut your blue hair!" And with that, he slammed the trunk closed. The fangirls blinked, adjusting to the darkness. Avis rummaged through her backpack, finding a flashlight and flicking it on. Alex looked around.
"Wow! This is really spacious!"
"Yeah! We should ask to ride in here every time!" Avis opened her bag wider, peering inside. "And I have a blanket we can leave here…" They arranged the fluffy MLP blanket. The taller pulled her iPod out of her hiking boots.
"Want to choose something, Shorty?"
"Sure!" She flipped through the songs before "Four Seasons" by Vivaldi filled the space. Alex sighed.
"Never mind! I'll choose it! Classical is boring."
"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that." Alex ignored the comment and hummed as "Foux du Fafa" came on. Soon, the shorter was bobbing her head too. By the time the car stopped, there was a full blown, sitting down dance party.
"Play dead!" Alex whispered.
Two car doors slammed and the fangirls quickly shut off the music. They laid back, tongues sticking out, eyes half open.
"You killed me with your terrible comment on classical music!" Avis hissed.
"Oh, shush." Alex responded. Just then, the trunk opened, the grey, dreary light pouring in. Valkyrie rolled her eyes - obviously, Skulduggery would've.
"What are you even doing?"
"I think they're… I don't even know.' Skulduggery added. "Come on, let's go get some clothes."
"Ooh, what kind?" Drubbing squealed, like a true fangirl, as she got out of the trunk. Alex followed. The foursome walked down the drab street, shops decrepitate, the few people giving a decidedly eerie aura. "Protective. For your missions, now that you're hired." Valkyrie explained. "We're going to a mage shop."
"Cool!" Alex said appreciatively. "What kind of protective clothing?"
"That's for you to choose!"
"As long as it's appropriate for a Cradle of Magic employees." The skeleton corrected Valkyrie, eyeing the two teenagers warily. "They're going to pick out the strangest things. Look at Drubbing's trousers!" Skulduggery grew quiet as they entered the shop, the bell on the door twinkling. They passed a broken, graffitied sign spelling out W-L-C-O-M T-O B-A-L-A-B-O-R.
"What is 'Wlcom to Balabor'?" Alex asked.
"It's supposed to say 'Welcome to Bawlharbor'. That's where we are. It's like the new Roarhaven." Valkyrie said in a hushed voice. They stepped farther in, looking around in the dusty room for a sign of life. A man stumbled out from behind a shelf of fabric, appraising his visitors.
"Skulduggery. Valkyrie. Back for another hat? Perhaps a trilby today." The man's voice was choppy, a sort of Chinese accent cutting the syllables in a gruesome way. He was average looking, this man, his plain face hiding behind darkened wrinkles and a well tailored, weathered bronze suit holding in his considerable pudge.
"Not a hat today, Quaggy. Protective clothing for these two."
"Ah. What'll it be? Any requests?" The 'q' was a 'k', the 't' a whole other word.
"Onesies, please." Alex said seriously, cleaning the dust off her glasses with her shirttails. Valkyrie choked, bending over, ailed with a sort of cough-laugh.
"What are onesies?" Skulduggery inquired, his voice lilting with confusement.
"Just a new style. They're work appropriate, promise." Banter looked at the detective, a picture of innocence. Avis forced the grin off her face to speak.
"Yeah. Solemnly swear." Skulduggery stared at the fangirl for a moment but shrugged and turned to the shop owner.
"Ones - onesi - onesies, then." The man looked at Skulduggery as the skeleton made his order.
"Uh. What color then?"
"RAINB-!"
"No." Skulduggery cut Alex off. "Black. Or grey."
"Fine. Black," Avis and Alex agreed.
They left the shop a few minutes later, Avis and Alex obviously proud of their not-getting-Skulduggery-mad-at-onesies-for-work.
"So… When do we get our paj-! I mean, onesies?" Avis asked, walking backwards so she could face the group.
"Weren't you listening? The man said to come back in an hour when they were ready!" Alex said, implying the obviousness of the answer.
"Ah, no. I tuned out after the onesie thing went down without a fight. When did he say that?"
"While we were being fitted! Oh, no! Avis, watch -" But it was too late. Avis walked backwards straight into a stocky person with a cloud of lemon-lime mist twirling calmly around his/hers, if there was one, head. Avis stumbled, regained her balance, and looked up at the being with a look of terror. The blue haired girl took in the muscled limbs and cloud of whatever-it-was. She flinched and instantly fled down the perilous path of self-defense.
"Kind, er, person, the English language cannot even begin to express the entirety of how sorry I am about running into you. I wasn't paying attention and that, good Samaritan, is a grievous misgiving on my part. I'm sorry doesn't even start to…" She trailed off as the cloud of smoke began producing queer hacking noises in time to its strange rippling movement. "I'm sorry, did I cause discomfort to you and your mist?" Valkyrie, Skulduggery, Alex, and especially Avis waited for a response. All they got was that muffled coughing and the bubbling stream formations of the greenish fog. And then-
"That" - hack - "is the funniest" - hack - "response I've gotten in a long" - hack - "time!" The person kept up hacking as he/she walked away and then, all of a sudden, it clicked.
"You're laughing!" Avis exclaimed in realization. The giggles grew even louder as he/she retreated, the cloud following.
"Who was that?" Valkyrie asked as she peered over Skulduggery's shoulder. "A human?"
"No. An alligator dressed as a human with a fog machine as a hat who can teleport to the moon." The skeleton turned to his partner. "Valkyrie, of course it's a human! The mist is probably an Adept power."
"Hey!" Avis defended. "You have to look at every angle of a case!"
"That's actually… Pretty smart." Alex said, surprise creeping into her voice.
"No dip, Sherlock! It's me we're talking about."
"Yes, the girl who just ran into a dangerous and very suspicious mage and totally faked an apology." Avis scowled and shot back-
"Says the person who put glitter in the-"
"WE DO NOT NEED TO BRING THAT UP!" Alex screeched. Avis smirked with success. Valkyrie listened in, interested.
"Glitter in what?"
"Nothing!" Alex growled. "Only two things exploded, nothing was permanently hurt, and only half the bowl of grapes fell apart. End of story!" The detectives looked at her strangely but moved on from the subject making small talk as they wandered down the street, peeking into stores. This neighborhood was a prime example of 'Don't judge a book by its cover,' but of course in different context. All the stores looked the same, in color, architecture, almost everything, but inside, they couldn't be more different. Department stores, swim equipment, vintage clothing, shops dedicated to only one thing - like the hat shop Skulduggery spend almost an hour in and didn't buy anything! He left saying 'I already have them all.' - furniture stores, you could find everything you would ever need in this one alleyway. Avis and Alex went crazy, trying everything on. They raided racks and racks of clothing, buying anything from sweatpants and swimsuits (Alex) to velvet skirts and new snakeskin leggings (Avis). Wallets were emptied and no bargain bin was left unturned. The fangirls took no prisoners.
Hours later, the group slumped into the Bentley, putting the numerous bags (stuffed with printed shirts, Avis' crazy slew of skirts and patterned leggings, Alex's multiple shorts and sunhats, two military style jackets (one cream for Avis, the other rust for Al), and two pairs of oldie movie star sunglasses) into the backseat.
"You know, you can ride in seats this time," Skulduggery said.
"NO, DON'T MAKE ME!" yelled Avis.
"TAKE HER INSTEAD! I HAVE TOO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!" proclaimed Alex.
"O-kay." The young teens clambered into the trunk, Avis holding a black fedora on her head. Valkyrie snapped her seatbelt in place and the car flew away, leaving the cold alleys of Bawlhabor. The fangirls sat in the darkness of the trunk.
"I can't believe we're working for the Irish Sanctuary." Alex voiced, setting up the iPod once again.
"Get used to it, sister. Embrace your new position, fun times guaranteed."
So what do you think?
Of course it was amazing, I mean, we wrote it!
Sorry about Tele's ego, she learned it from Skulduggery!
It was based on a shopping trip we had, well the sun hats and sunglasses were! I got the coolest hat! (And I own a fedora and I have the aforementioned military jacket but in navy.)
Oh and by the way we have a telemancer email on our profile if you want to email us! I don't know why you would need to but…
If they don't have a account!
Right!
Oh and Foux du Fafa (the song) is by Flight Of The Conchords, they're a comedy band! I also love Brett, You've Got It Going on! Brett, you've got it going on! Not in a gay way, just in a, hey, I just wanted to say that you're looking okay man! Why can't a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly? Not all the time obviously, just when he's got a problem with his self esteem… *keeps singing*
Anywho, while she sings herself out, we hoped you like the new chappy, and review if you want to!
Don't worry we won't yell at you, or stalk you, or kill you, or…
Yeesh, what got into you?
Last night I had a dream that three murderers were chasing me through a parking lot wearing bunny ears, and caring easter baskets… What could that mean? Oh maybe I subconsciously know that secretly bunnies go around and kill people so they can plant their heads in the ground and turn them into bunnies! So they can one day take over the world!
Ookay. Well, see you guys next chappy! Thanks for being amazing!