Suggestion by: D (guest)
"I STILL can't feel my leg, how 'okay' do you THINK I am?!"
"Oh come on, Toothless, I said I didn't mean for that to happen!" Stormfly defended. Thor damn Toothless and his stupid, stupid stubbornness issues.
"I mean, WHY would you do that?!" Toothless ranted on, not really listening to Stormfly.
"Okay, fine. I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you."
"Wha—?" Toothless stopped dumbly.
"You heard me, ya big lizard," Stormfly had that laughing tone in her voice again. "How does half my Dragon Nip rations sound?"
"Seems like a profitable investment," Toothless mused, mimicking an old Zippleback he met once.
"Oh, shut up," Stormfly rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I suppose now that you're no longer bedridden, you can care to show you majestic face at the Stable to dare a dare?"
"I semi-willingly accept your meagre offer, Peasant," Toothless replied in his old man voice.
Stormfly laughed. "Peasant, my tail."
As it turned out, Toothless realised that if he'd been bedridden for more that three days, the other four dragons would probably do something stupid and kill themselves.
The first thing Toothless noticed was that the Communal Stable smelt TERRIBLE. Almost as bad as the Eel Incident with Barf and Belch.
Toothless gagged. "Euck! Did something die in here?"
Hookfang rose from his haystack. "Well FINALLY you decide to show your noble face in here! Barf and Belch kept asking me if you died!"
"I wanted your severed head!" Belch chirped.
"No, I want it!" Barf snapped.
"You shut up!"
"Girly!"
Toothless watched the Zippleback bicker. "It's like without me, this place will collapse and rot and die. Which leads me back to the question: WHY the HEL does the Stable smell like rotten fish?!"
"Oh, that..." Barf perked up, ignoring Belch's chain of insults.
"Yeah, about that...it may-or-may-not be my fault..."Stormfly shrugged guiltily. "You see, Meatlug suggested that we get something for you, when you came back. You know, so you'd look...less miserable?"
"Yeah, so they got you a whole barrel full of rotting fish!" Barf cheered.
"What—no! Hookfang and I stole a barrel of haddock and cod for you, from that old fishmonger," Stormfly said quickly. "Peace offering. But we didn't know you'd be immobile for so long, and you know how cod and haddock are, when you leave it out for a few days..." she said sheepishly.
"Uh, I appreciate the thought, but may I ask WHY it's still here after three days?" Toothless said with a hint of exasperation.
"Barf and Belch didn't want to do it, Stormfly threatened everyone with her spikes and Hookfang almost burnt the Stable down," Meatlug summed up.
Dragon looked to dragon in wordless guilt. Toothless thought for a while, expressions shifting on his face.
Something seemed to light up. "I have an idea..." Toothless grinned evilly. "And you're gonna love it!"
Hookfang groaned as he carried the loathsome thing between his jaws. Stupid Toothless and his stupid, stupid dares. Well, FINE. He'll show that son of a crocodile that no matter what stupid dares he threw at Hookfang, Hookfang will always be the finest, fastest, most fearsome dragon of the lot.
Hookfang slunk around the village, in search of that one Rider. It was amazing how many of the humans looked like each other. Except for a few tweaks in height or bone structure, he could have sworn half the people on Berk were forged from the same mould.
Ah-ha! He'd found the Chosen One!
Two blonde teenagers were strolling aimlessly, more focused on talking. One was taller with long and slender features. Her hair was knotted into two curious ropes that hung down either side of her head. The Chosen One, on the other hand, was more curvaceous, with lean muscles, built like a fiery Nadder. If Hookfang wasn't already a dragon, well, courtship seemed pretty imminent.
The two females talked, in their strange lilting Humantongue. It was a truly odd language, with it's complex intonations only an admittedly clever Toothless could understand.
Hookfang waited.
He'd learnt that one of the keys to an efficient Stealth Attack was to wait. Wait until the victim's bumbling eyes painted you over as just another thing in the sky, until the opportune moment to...
"AAAAAAAHHH!"
"Oh my gods, Astrid!" Ruffnut didn't know whether to help the poor girl or to stand back.
Astrid flicked slime from her face, pushing away her bangs out of muscle memory. The blonde curtain was pulled back to reveal two bright, furious blue-grey eyes, shining like the edge of a freshly-polished axe.
"Jeez, Astrid, you okay? Tuffnut did that to me once, it's not actually that—"
"Oh, he's SO going to get from me," Astrid barely grated out, going stark-white with rage.
"You tell him, baby girl. You tell him."
"Y'know what your problem is, Hiccup?"
Hiccup looked at Snotlout. He had a thousand problems, but did Snotlout really have to bring them up now?
"What?" He snapped impatiently.
"You're a meep," Snotlout said gravely.
"A meep?" Okay Hiccup was lost.
"A man-sheep," Tuffnut explained helpfully.
"See, girls, they wanna take you out on a walk," Snotlout tore off a leg from his roasted chicken, twirling it as he spoke. "They wanna feed you, they wanna cuddle you, but make no mistake, no girl wants to do the meep."
Tuffnut nodded solemnly, like they'd just diagnosed Hiccup with a life-threatening disease.
"Because no girl would ever—"
Hiccup turned red. "Wh—guys! Do you honestly think I..."
"No, he's right. I'm telling you, if you wanna get a shot with Astrid," Snotlout flexed his biceps casually, "and I'm not saying it's easy for some people, you gotta listen to the Lady-Mast—"
"THIS. IS FOR MAKING YOUR STUPID DRAGON RUIN MY FAVOURITE SKIRT!" Astrid yelled as her fist collided with Snotlout's face.
"What are you even—"
"And THIS," Astrid roared, landing a kick in the metaphorical Viking Horn, "is for everything else."
And with that, Astrid Hofferson turned on her heels and left, blazing a trail of destruction behind her.
"Woah, what happened with Astrid?" Tuffnut asked, slightly traumatised.
"I dunno, ask the Lady-Master," Hiccup replied drily.
Chapter 12 :D
OMG so sorry for not updating! I went away for a holiday...yeah I should have told you guys! And also, for the same reason, I haven't been able to reply to your reviews, really sorry for that! Keep suggesting, though! I'm having a heck load of fun, and I promise that it gets better!