Many apologies for not posting yesterday. My head was hurting and I was finding it difficult to feel and hear the characters. Maybe it had to do with trying too hard to write the date. As it always goes with CaReese, it's not what happens before and during, but after. I made this chapter a little long; I hope you enjoy it.
Hope Is Born Again
"Thank you for dinner; it was delicious," Joss complimented as she walked beside John down the nearly deserted neighbourhood sidewalk. Above them the dark blue sky was darted with hundreds of tiny stars and a full moon that seemed to be winking. To their right and left, the heavily decorated houses seemed to add to the sweet ambiance of the moment with their twinkling lights of white, red, and green.
"I wasn't sure what you would like, so I relied on that old saying: 'When in doubt, go with Italian'."
"Well, you made a good choice. I didn't know you could cook, though."
"Surprised?"
"Pleasantly. First you arrive with flowers and pick me up and take me to dinner at your house. Wine, candlelight, Italian..." She sighed happily. "I'm coming to find out that you are a wealth of surprises and secrets."
"Oh?"
"I found out - via my mother - that I am dating a hero cop."
"Hero cop? It wasn't all that the news made it out to be," he protested the unwarranted praise.
"Tell that to the little kitten that you rescued. Mrs. Walters can't seem to quit talking about you," Joss teased.
"I'm sure that anyone would have done the same thing."
Joss shrugged. "Eh. I suppose, but you are the one who risked it all to shimmy up the tree. And you earned the respect and admiration of old ladies all over town," she said with just a touch of over exaggeration.
John chuckled in response.
"What?"
"Just thinking of the dozens of fruitcakes that will be arriving in the mail for Christmas." He grimaced at the prospect.
Joss smiled. "Ah. The downside of fame. You have to take the good with the bad."
"I can live without it. And you didn't know anything about it?" he sounded a little skeptical.
Joss shook her head. "Not a clue. We were busy right after Thanksgiving, and I wasn't paying much attention to the news," she admitted honestly.
"That makes me feel better. At least I know you aren't going out with me due to my celebrity."
Joss scoffed. "And here I thought you weren't conceited." Their steps were perfectly matched as they set the journey to nowhere in particular. It was definitely the epitome of a silent night, and neither was in a hurry to break the spell.
"I have to thank you for not taking me out in public," Joss finally spoke to break the silence. "I don't think I could have handled the noise and chaos."
"Bad day at work?"
"That was just the half of it. Sam got sick, so I sent her home, and then all heck seemed to break loose. Our secretary could only handle so many phone calls, so I took over and helped, and then I forgot about a deposition that was supposed to be filed by noon..." Joss turned her head to look at him. "You are truly a life-saver."
"What's wrong with Sam?" John asked.
"I don't know. Flu bug...stress...holidays," Joss listed the possibilities. "What ever it is, it picked the wrong time to rear its ugly head.
"Yeah, Lionel said that Sam hasn't been herself the last couple of days," John confided his best friend's secret.
"I hope she's okay."
"If it's what I think it is, she'll live," John assured her. "And she'll be back to her normal self in no time. I just hope that it's in time to let Lionel back in their bed. He's becoming a bear."
Joss laughed softly, then looked up at the sky, stopped, and closed her eyes. Unsure what to say or do, John watched as Joss' lips moved silently.
"Amen."
"I'm lost; what happened?" John asked, wanting to be part of the moment.
"I made a wish on a star," Joss said.
"A wish?"
"Yeah, the first star – you know: 'Star light, star bright...'," she recited the poem.
"What for?"
"Can't tell, or it won't come true."
"I made you dinner."
"It will take a lot more than that for me to reveal a wish," she laughed.
"I made dessert too."
Joss pretended to debate with herself. "You're really trying to break down my barriers."
"And I got you flowers," he delivered the coup de grâce.
"Oh, you are the devil with blue eyes," she chastened with a lilt in her voice. "Okay, okay. I wished for Sam and Lionel to find their way back to one another," she confided in a low whisper.
"I can support that one." John kicked at a small pile of snow that was in his path. "So, what brought you back here? I thought your late husband was career Army?"
Joss looked at him with respect and a touch of irritation. "Researching me?"
"Just the talking points. I promise." He crossed his heart.
"Okay, if you must know, Paul was career Army. We met in high school and he was my first love. Tall, handsome, driven...everything a teenage girl could want. And when he finished his boot camp and did his first tour in Germany, all I knew was that I wanted to be with him. Mother tried to warn me that I was going to be disappointed, but all I could think of, were the adventures to anywhere but here... Until our first duty station."
"The middle of nowhere?" John asked sympathetically.
"Panama. Not really bad, but the middle of nowhere would have been more exciting. I tried to grin and bear it, but... Paul was hardly ever home. So, I started taking night classes and getting my degree. It wasn't until I got my first speeding ticket that I decided that I wanted to be a lawyer. I found that being able to argue was a right I was granted."
"And you got home-sick."
Joss' laugh was mirthless. "How did you know?"
"I saw a lot of it during my time in service. Did you come back here?"
"Not at first. I had had Taylor and Paul was up for another PCS – the first to Lackland, and then Iraq – the latter being unaccompanied. My dad had just died and Mother was feeling alone; I thought I'd come back and help her out."
"But you found what you were missing."
Joss gave him a quizzical look. "Hey! Who's telling the story here? But you're correct. As soon as I came back, I realized that I didn't want to leave again. Paul wasn't happy when I told him I had found a place, but he thought we could work things out." Joss paused before taking a shuddering breath. "Then he died."
There was more to the story, but John wasn't going to push her. "Sounds like you had a rough time."
"I had Mother and my friends. Sam had gotten her degree in Criminal Justice – ironically – and we thought about opening our own business: Free or reduced cost legal aid for anyone who needs it."
"And is that how you met Cal Beecher?"
Joss huddled down inside her coat. "Yeah. Smooth talking, slick Cal. I should have seen that one coming."
"What happened?"
"He caught me when I was vulnerable. It happens. Everyone has their moment of being dazzled by gifts and attention, and I am pleading guilty of having mine. I found out – almost a little too late – that he was a plant sent in to bring us down. The big law firm on the other side of town wanted to gobble us up – they thought we were a threat to their business. Thank goodness for Sam being able to access the backdoor to their computer system and finding out what their plans were."
"I heard it was serious – with Cal."
"With Cal, everything is serious...if it's in his best interest. I wish I had seen it, but I didn't," she groused bitterly. "Until that one night he decided to take our relationship to another level. I don't mind expressing love and affection, but I draw the line at doing it on the couch while my -then- eight year old son is in the other room. I let Cal know, in no uncertain terms, that it was not appreciated. That's when I found out about his part in the take-over plot."
"What happened after that?" John wondered.
"He got a transfer to the big city and moved on with his life. I don't really think about it," Joss admitted. "What about you? What brings you to Hometown, U.S.A.?" she asked, taking the risk of delving into his secret past.
"Did my time in the service, and wanted to take time to find myself. My parents were gone by the time I enlisted -"
"I'm sorry," Joss said softly.
"It's okay," he shrugged. "It made being able to leave that one-horse town a little more easier; I wasn't cut out to be a farmer."
"So you enlisted in the military?" Joss asked quickly as her mind entertained the thought of John in coveralls and pitching hay.
"The Navy."
"A SEAL?" she guessed.
"Almost. I made it through everything, and on the last week I busted my ankle. I had to drop out. But my sniper skills were in demand, and I was sent to Afghanistan and Iraq to help train the armies and police forces we were leaving behind. When my time was up, I decided to pursue law enforcement, and once I completed basic training at the academy, I found that big city life wasn't for me."
"And you found this place?"
"My former Captain had a sister who lived in this area, and he recommended me for a transfer. I moved here, got Lionel as a partner, and the rest is history."
"Never been married?"
"No."
"Close?"
"Sort of."
"Her or you?"
"Both."
"You said she died. How?"
"Accident. Sort of." John kicked a pebble down the sidewalk and watched as it veered off course to hop over the curb and land in the street.
"Did you love her?"
"I thought I did."
"Did she love you?"
"I thought she did."
Joss waited then asked, "You don't like talking about it, do you?"
"Not really."
"May I ask her name?"
"Jessica. Jessica Ardnt," John replied in a hollow tone.
"Lovely name."
John didn't reply, and the rest of the walk was done in silence.
"Well, don't you know," he said as the approached Joss' home. "We walked all the way to your place."
Joss patted her belly for show. "Considering how much I ate, I don't mind the walk."
"What about Taylor?"
"He can stay the night at my mother's; he had that test today, and he seemed pretty bummed out." Joss shook her head in disbelief and said, "Algebra in fifth grade; I don't get it."
"He'll recover, Joss. Maybe I can take him out Christmas shopping tomorrow," John offered. "Help boost his spirits. You're invited to come, too."
"I'd love to, but I have to clear up a couple of cases before Christmas. Maybe we can do it this weekend?" she suggested the alternative.
"You and me?"
"I'd like that." Slowly they walked up the path to the porch. The wind gently picked up speed, and Joss shivered.
"Cold?" John asked and moved closer to shield her with his body.
"A little." That was a lie. She wasn't cold, she was burning hot. And having him stand close was only making matters worse.
"What are you going to do when I leave?" he wondered.
"Find out where to put thirty-six tulips in my house. I do thank you for the flowers," Joss said. "They're beautiful."
"You're welcome."
"No one has ever given me pink tulips before." Joss confessed.
"I like to think outside the box," John said with a grin. "Besides, it was Lionel's idea."
"How so?"
"He told me to imagine what flower you might be."
"And you think I'm a tulip?" Joss wondered with amusement. "How?"
"It's a delicate flower that stands tall and proud, and usually blooms in the peak of winter. It keeps it petals closed to ward off any intruders. And it has a subtle scent that most people can't notice unless you close your eyes and concentrate." John cupped her cheek and stroked her cheek softly with his thumb. "And only when you're ready, you blossom and let people see the magnificence of who you really are – beauty and uniqueness," he finished.
"That is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me," Joss whispered.
"I meant it." John lowered his head and kissed her. Soft and slow, he moved his lips over hers until she responded back in kind. Hot and demanding, they did a lovers' give and take. She tasted of red wine and rich, dark chocolate cake, and he wanted to devour her.
Joss weaved her fingers in John's hair and drank in his unique taste of spices and expensive cologne. If she could, she would stay right here – with him – forever.
Remembering that they were out in the open, John broke away and buried his face in Joss' hair. "I got carried away," he apologized.
"Me too." Her blood was boiling hot, but she never felt so alive. She tried to calm her racing heart beat.
"This has never happened to me before."
"Never?" Joss found that hard to believe.
John pulled back to look into Joss' eyes full of questions and doubts. "Never," he confirmed.
"I think it's getting late, and you have to work tonight," she reminded him.
"I'll make it," he promised. His eyes held hers.
In the distance a siren wailed.
"Drunk naked Santa strikes again," Joss joked lightly. "Looks like your night is going to be a fun one."
"I got to spend most of it with you, so I don't mind," John said softly.
"You should go," she said reluctantly. She didn't want him to go. Not now. Not ever.
"I'll be back tomorrow night," he promised. "We'll do pizza."
"Pizza sounds good."
John leaned down and kissed Joss hard and fast. "Goodnight, Joss." Even though he was going to see her in a few hours, he felt as though his heart was breaking in half.
"Goodnight, John," she whispered.
"Go inside so you don't freeze," he ordered.
"Okay." Joss fumbled for the keys. Finally locating them, she unlocked the door. "Stay safe."
"I will."
Walking down the steps, John walked backwards down the path to the main sidewalk and stayed that way until he was out of sight.
With a sad but happy heart, Joss went inside and closed the door.