Obi-Wan had always taken his life in stride. It had never been average, he knew. He'd first known it as a padawan, in fact. But he'd made up for the lack of control in his life by tightly managing his personal affairs. He'd never been rash.

Until now, of course. Now, he had no idea what he was doing, what he'd gotten himself into. Anakin was balancing on the precipice between Light and Dark, and Obi-Wan had known upsetting that balance by adding more emotional concerns wasn't going to help matters any. And yet he'd gone and done it.

He'd always felt deeply for Anakin. As a Jedi, knowing your own emotions was paramount. Denial would get you nowhere and hinder your connection to the Force. He'd never lied to himself about his unreasonable attachment to his former padawan. And when Anakin grew older and more beautiful, Obi-Wan staunchly refused to leave that unacknowledged, either. But acknowledgement was not action. He'd promised himself he'd never allow Anakin to know, especially not after Padmé.

And now he'd broken that promise.

Vader was a livewire, and Obi-Wan should've allowed him to go at his own pace. The man wasn't hesitant about demanding what he wanted, after all. He'd returned to calling Obi-Wan his master as soon as he'd managed an escape from Sheev Palpatine's iron grip. He wasn't shy.

Obi-Wan rested his face in his hands and sighed, drained. He should try and meditate, but his own mind was no longer so tightly managed. If his life were a river, he'd lost his footing on the stepping stones and fallen in. How could he unwind now, when he'd been so reckless, so stupid and impulsive he could almost have outmatched Anakin himself?

Stupid, impulsive Anakin, who'd crawled his way out of the Dark Side, out of the Empire, only to be sent back by the one person who loved him most.

Palpatine was not a stupid man, and Anakin, as fine a liar as he'd become, was no master of stealth. He kept his presence in the Force firmly reigned in, but if Palpatine suspected even the smallest thing, he would hack away at Anakin's mind until he broke. And if not his mind, his body. The suit was not so strong as to stand against all of the tools at Palpatine's disposal.

The Alliance needed strength, and it needed it fast, or their execution chambers would not be the only ones readied for Anakin's swift death.

Obi-Wan eyed Han's bottle of Corellian Brandy. Surely he wouldn't miss a shot glass' worth?

Pleasantly buzzed, Obi-Wan finally attempted to meditate in peace. It took him only a few minutes longer than usual, and he blamed that on the alcohol, not his own disorganised mind.

Eventually, he felt the slight but welcome chill of Qui-Gon's spirit as it manifested beside him.

"Hello, Master."

"My, my," Qui-Gon teased. "I see you're right back in the playing field, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan snorted. "You could call it that. Yet I find minefield is a more fitting description, if I'm perfectly honest."

"Do tell." Qui-Gon's eyes crinkled, deepening the laugh lines Obi-Wan had never seen him without. Not even in his spirit form.

"As if you don't already know, Master."

"Yes, but I'd like to hear your perspective." Qui-Gon laughed in fond rememberance. "You always were good at explaining your way out of things."

"I won't explain my way out of this," Obi-Wan said, with great emphasis, "as I have no explanation to give. I have no idea what I'm doing, Qui-Gon."

"Well, we never really do, do we?" Qui-Gon hummed. "You love the boy."

"Man," Obi-Wan corrected. "Almost an old one."

"Not in body, nor in spirit. But in mind, yes. Is this the first reckless decision you've made in a while?"

"I don't know, is it?"

"No, my dear padawan." Qui-Gon floated closer and sat beside him, even if he had no mass with which to sit. "I was never a particularly conventional Jedi. I always believed following your heart would lead you to higher paths, rather than following the Code to the strictest letter. Not that it was entirely valueless, however."

"Dare I say I have your approval?"

"It's not approval, as I lack the foresight to bestow it. This could prove to be a wise decision, or a foolish one in equal measure."

"Then, I ask only if you are angry."

"Never with you, my padawan. If you love him, do not hold yourself back. That will only cause undue pain, dear one." Qui-Gon looked as if he were speaking from experience. Obi-Wan had his suspicions. Maybe when they had all joined the Force themselves. Love ran freely in the afterlife, he'd heard.

If Anakin died - and left Obi-Wan bereaved - he'd at least have that, for once in his life. It was the only thing he'd ever looked for, unconditional love. Obi-Wan had never made it clear enough to him that he already had it, and not just from his master. Everyone around him had loved him deeply. Padmé, Ahsoka, the 501st, Obi-Wan himself. But he'd never seen it. His own hurt had blinded him.

Oh, if only Obi-Wan had broken his promise long ago. Could he be arrogant enough, presumptuous enough, to think that would have prevented this altogether?

"Do not get lost in your own mind too long, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said, honing Obi-Wan's attention to a sharper point. "You never like what you find there, misguided as that is."

"Why are you always right?" Obi-Wan laughed.

"Not always," Qui-Gon replied, eyes dimming. "I asked you to train the boy, did I not?"

"I wouldn't regret that for a second."

"It was a burden you shouldn't have borne so young, Padawan." Qui-Gon shook his head. "But you made use of what little experience experience you had expertly, if I may say so."

"Thank you, Master." Obi-Wan smiled at him. "But it was no burden. I fear I failed Anakin, it's true, but that stems from my own shortcomings, not his. I should have recognised the signs, realised what he needed. The Code was not it."

Qui-Gon thought on this.

"Or, at least, part of the Code," Obi-Wan continued. "As you said, it wasn't exactly an unsalvageable mess."

"Very true," Qui-Gon agreed. "But the past is behind us, now. We have only the future."

"I won't repeat past mistakes, Master," Obi-Wan promised. "I have learnt a great deal in my travels, and I intend to put those teachings to good use. On Anakin especially."

Qui-Gon chuckled softly. "Yes, he is a special case, isn't he? Always so brash as a child, and no less as an adult."

"I can handle him, Qui-Gon. I've known him for so long, it's practically second nature."

"Be careful, Obi-Wan, when playing with fire." Qui-Gon stared him down. "You know how easily it can burn."

When Obi-Wan left his quarters to find something to eat in the cafeteria, he found his path blocked by none other than his former padawan, and his former padawan's former padawan. It was an awkward dynamic.

They hadn't yet noticed him, so he stood, making no move to startle them, and listened.

"You can't take him alone," Ahsoka was saying.

"I've spent the past twenty years with him alone," Anakin shot back.

"That's child's play compared to this!" Ahsoka raised her arms in exasperation. Anakin tended to bring that out in people. "He's gonna know, because he's not as unobservant as he seems, and he doesn't even seem all that unobservant. If you've spent the past twenty years with him, he's spent the past twenty years with you. Studying you."

Anakin blinked. Ahsoka took a deep breath.

"Listen," she said, once more the wised up Alliance official. "The Alliance can't lose you, you're too important for that. Palpatine doesn't much care where you've been and where you will be as long as he thinks you're still loyal, right?"

"Inasmuch as someone like him can, yes," Anakin hedged.

"There you have it. Return to Imperial bases - not abandoned, this time. Make your presence known, carry out official duties. Then come straight back, and make sure you're not followed. Do you see where this is going?"

"Carrying out official duties will set back the Rebels lightyears." Anakin tilted his head. "You know what Palpatine liked me doing."

"Rounding up dissenters like Bantha for slaughter, yes." Ahsoka grimaced. "But that's not all you did, is it?"

"No," Anakin confirmed. "There were recruitments, too. Scouting missions for particularly promising-looking planets - their people, their resources."

"Scout for us instead," Ahsoka said sharply.

Anakin raised his hands. "I hadn't said otherwise."

"Yes, but..." Ahsoka trailed off. "I'm worried for you, Skyguy. Things are gonna get bad, playing the Emperor. You know this as well as I do."

"I'll make that sacrifice." Anakin crossed his arms. "I'm buying time."

"Time we can't afford to lose." Ahsoka pressed her hands to the bridge of her nose. "The Alliance takes risks all the time, but none like this. We're playing with fire, here."

"And we can't let it burn," Anakin finished. "I get it. I know the risks."

"We were both impulsive," Ahsoka said, careful. "I've grown out of it. Well, most of the time. You, on the other hand. There's no telling with you."

"I'll take extra care."

"You better," Ahsoka warned. "I can't see him fry you, or have you rounded up like all the 'nonconformists'."

Anakin winced at that. "I don't exactly want to get fried."

"Hell, this is so stupid. Stupider than what we've done before."

"Is it really, though?" Anakin smiled a little. "We've done some pretty stupid stuff, Snips."

"Not as stupid as this, Skyguy. Not as stupid as this."

Obi-Wan cleared his throat. Anakin and Ahsoka whipped around lightning fast, and he unshielded his mental barriers in turn, so no weapons were pulled in his direction before they could recognise his Force signature. "If Anakin can smuggle me in, I'll volunteer to watch his back on these 'Imperial missions'. It was my idea, after all, if I might add. I should at least take some part in it, as is my responsibility."

Ahsoka frowned harder. "I can't let myself be held accountable for your deaths. If Obi-Wan's going, I'm going. We have plenty of Stormtrooper gear after that raid on the abandoned base, so. I think we have ourselves covered."

"I know the kids won't want to be left behind, either."

Ahsoka chewed her lip. "I'll appeal to Mon Mothma. If she approves the mission, we'll go through with it. If she doesn't-" She looked at them, considering. "If she doesn't, we're just going anyway, aren't we?"

"Yep," Anakin said, drawing out the syllable long enough for Ahsoka to groan and roll her eyes. "We'll be sure to let them know we're going. Give the twins long enough to prepare, and for Threepio to get that mud out of his joints. He's still complaining, you know."

Ahsoka smirked. "How could I miss it? His vocal processors haven't degraded with age, have they?"

"Not one bit."

Author's Note: This fic has basically become the "reminiscing on the past 24/7" fic. I'm sorry. Action happens occasionally, at least!