The man was rash but not a fool. The silencer on his gun made the noise muffled, muted through the alleyway, but still just as shocking to each of them.

Especially to Len, who looked down in disbelief at the dark spot blossoming from his chest for a solid ten seconds before he crumbled.

"Snart!" Ralph and Axel overlapped, while Barry and Axel stood stunned, Barry certain it must be a dream—a shot like that, in the chest, that could kill Len, and he was already gasping as he collapsed back onto the pavement.

Hartley came to his senses first and dove down beside Len to press his hands to the wound and still the bleeding, covering his hands that could sign so beautifully in scarlet red.

The roar in Barry's ears sucked away like a vacuum and suddenly there was nothing but intent—just the man who had done this who needed to pay.

Bolting for the fire escape, Barry raced up toward the apartment. Another shot rang out, not directed at Len, but at Barry's pursuit, but the bullet clanged against metal, missing him. As did the next and the next as Barry shot up faster than most humans could match. He was upon the man in moments, who was out of bullets by the time Barry reached him with a plaintive click. Then Barry knocked the gun away and seized him harshly.

Only when Barry saw how his outstretched hands were blood red with lengthening claws did he realize he had lost control of his form again, but it did not matter. The others could not see more than indistinct figures above them for how the metal hid them pulled back close to the apartment window.

"You are a monster…" the man stared wide-eyed at Barry, giving him the final catalyst he needed to launch forward and sink his fangs into the man's shoulder. His cry cut off like a whimper as Barry dug his claws into his sides as well, wanting to tear muscle from bone and make this man suffer in ways he had never desired before.

But no. No. Then he would be a monster, and even if Len believed he would want Barry no matter what, that would not ring true if he proved he was no better than his brethren.

Tearing his teeth free, Barry was careful not to rip out the man's jugular or puncture the artery. His claws would not be fatal either as long as he did not twist them, sliding them cleaning out again for the man to gasp in pain. Good. Barry was not like his kin, but without Len, he would have nothing to stop him from becoming them.

"I should kill you," he said as he threw the man to the fire escape floor and crouched over him, fangs and claws dripping blood. "If Len dies, after what I do to you then, you will wish I had."

He slashed the man's face just to feel one more rush of satisfaction in the carnage, then made his second swipe a punch that knocked the man unconscious. He was bleeding in many places now, but not so heavily that he would not live.

"Barry, we—" Axel's voice reached him, right behind him, before Barry realized he had been followed. The words cut off abruptly, a sharp inhale leaving Axel before Barry turned, bloody and monstrous for him to see.

Other than the men who deserved Barry's wrath, no human had ever seen his true form. It was incomplete like this, his eyes and fangs and claws, most of his skin red and darkly freckled with spots and scales, the change in his hair color to match and shape of his ears, but the only difference was his legs compared to a tail, the one thing from the merfolk form that would be the same.

"Please…." He wiped furiously at the blood on his face when he saw the terror on Axel's. "Len does not know. I did not kill the man, much as he may deserve it. Please do not tell Len this is what I am. He will never love me if he knows."

"Guys!" Ralph called up at them, frantic. "We have to call an ambulance!"

Len was what mattered, and that knowledge, the tears in Barry's eyes as he wiped the blood away, made it easier for his skin to turn pale and his other merfolk aspects to fade.

Still, Axel stared and gave an instinctive flinch when Barry stood to move toward him.

"Guys!" Hartley called, even more urgently than Ralph, and finally Axel blinked, nodded at Barry, however shakily, and turned to rush back down the steps. Barry followed.

"He's not going anywhere," Axel said about the man on the fire escape when Ralph and Hartley gaped at Barry's bloody clothes. "We can worry about him later. We have to—"

"Get him to the pool. Into the water," Barry said.

"What? Why?" Hartley shouted, hands covered in the blood that would not cease its heavy pulse from Len's chest. Len was awake, but only dimly seeing and unable to speak.

"You can heal him?" Axel asked, eyes clearer now as he focused on Len.

"Yes."

"Heal him? What are you talking about?!" Hartley sputtered.

Ralph seemed too stunned and traumatized by the past few weeks to say anything.

"Len," Barry crowded close and coaxed Len's distant eyes to meet his, his lips stained with blood from every feeble cough choking him. He had precious little time, but he looked at Barry, looked at him and there was love there, Barry thought, if only he could hear Len say it.

Later.

"I will save you," Barry said and lifted Len from the ground without falter, holding him secure with one arm, while the other wrapped around him and pressed to the wound that Hartley could no longer reach.

The pool was close to the alley exit, and Barry rushed back into the building to reach it, turning down hallways and around corners with impressive speed, even with Len in his arms. Luckily, they came upon no one in the halls, and he ignored the ramblings of Hartley and Ralph as they followed, while Axel merely told them to have faith and do as Barry said.

Their luck ran out when they reached the pool, however, for it was not empty when he erupted through the door. Carla was there with the children, Miss Maggie lounging in a chair with a book, all so normal and benign until they saw what Barry carried.

"Out of the pool!" Axel called.

"Oh my god, Leonard?" Carla exclaimed, though she wasted no time hauling her children out as asked, and Miss Maggie threw her book aside and stood.

Barry wished the children did not have to see this, wished none of them did, but he could hold his kinder merfolk form for them, and all would be well once he healed Len.

"Out!" Axel rushed forward to usher Carla and the kids free of Barry's direct path.

He laid Len down at the edge of the pool, catching his eyes again and holding his face, promising without a word that all would be well.

"Hartley!" he called behind him, and Hartley came forward to take his place putting pressure on the wound while Barry stripped, all too quickly for anyone to care about his nudity, until he dove into the water and then turned to take Len and pull him in with him.

"This is crazy," Hartley said, even as he allowed Barry to pull Len away from him, "why would you…" but words soon failed him as he looked over the side at Barry and saw that his legs were gone, replaced by shimmering red and gold.

"You're a real mermaid?" Mai said from her mother's side, the innocence of a child finding only wonder in what she saw of Barry, even with the blood spreading out through the water from Barry's stained hands and Len's wound.

"I can save him," Barry told them all, stunned though they may be, save Axel who simply looked plaintive for Barry to speak the truth. "I promise."

Then he dove, taking Len under with him and swimming to the deepest parts of the pool. Len's clothing made him heavier, though it was still hardly a feat for Barry to get there quickly and make sure Len looked at him, not at the blood, so much of it, turning almost all the water around them red.

B-Barry… Len's mind called to Barry where his voice had not been strong enough.

Focus on my voice, Len, on our connection. Stay awake. Stay with me, Barry pleaded as he pressed both hands to Len's chest.

He sang, if only to dull the pain Len might be feeling, but it was from his core that the healing magic flowed.

A cut on a hand barely made Barry cringe. Healing the poison he had been injected with had been harder but still manageable. Something like this though, fatal, he could feel how fatal, would take most of his own energy to even attempt. He had to believe he could do this without his own life being extinguished in return, because here in the water, communing with Len, his pact-mate, his love, he was stronger than he had ever been.

Whereas with the small cut on Len's hand, the illumination through his veins had been minimal, this time his entire chest glowed and every connecting vein up his neck and face and down into his hands. If he were without clothing, he would glow like a beacon. It made Barry falter and shiver for how much toll the exchange took on him, and that must have shown on his face.

Don't… Len said weakly, his hands trembling as he reached for Barry's face.

I will be fine. You must heal. You must survive.

I'm not…worth it.

You are worth everything.

Their eyes locked, and Barry could feel the beat of Len's pulse not only through his hands on his chest but in his ears, in his mind, beating in rhythm with his own. They were one. They belonged to each other. Barry could not allow Len's eyes to close.

But they did.

Len!

Pouring more healing energy into Len, Barry brought them down so deep in the water, Len's body laid on the floor of the pool with Barry floating above him. The red around them was turning hazy pink. Was the blood slowing? Was it done? Or did Len have no more to give…?

Please…

Barry's vison dimmed darker for a moment, his vision failing as he pushed harder than his own energies could sustain, but he could not give up.

Heal. Be well. Be mine, please…

Any more and Barry would pass out. He would fail, and Len would be lost. If that happened, when Barry awoke, if he did, he feared the carnage he would leave in his wake through the few remaining days he had left before his legs abandoned him without Len's love to keep them.

Len… he pleaded one last time, and when his strength dwindled enough that he could no longer keep his hands pressed to Len's chest, they gave way and started to drop—

Only for Len to grab his wrists and wake with a start.

Len!

Len's chest heaved with a deep breath, taking in water with the power of the Breath of Life as easily as he gulped in air. He was alert and clear and strong. Barry, he answered.

You are alive. Barry managed to flick his tail with one last surge forward to wrap Len in his arms. You are still with me. Oh, my love, please never leave me again.

Surprised but adoring laughter echoed through their connection. I think we're destined to keep saving each other, Barry. But hopefully there won't be any more gunshots in our future.

Barry laughed back at him, weak, though feeling better by the moment, no longer pouring energy into Len, for he was well now, and simply being in the water would help Barry regain his strength as well.

Holding Len's face with both hands, Barry kissed him and pressed their foreheads together. I love you, he said as heartfelt as he had before. I love you, Len.

I'm glad, Len answered, despite the wave of sadness that crossed his face. I am. I am so grateful for you, Barry.

Grateful. It stung like before, but Barry was so relieved to have Len with him that he would not let it spoil his joy. Len was not trying to hurt him, he simply wished to be sincere.

The water was stained though clearing of blood more and more as the filters set to work and Barry swam them through it, hauling Len up to the surface with a great splash and immediate eruption of cries and questions from the onlookers. When they saw Len was somehow well, there was little more they could say but express their amazement that Barry was not what they had thought.

Carefully, Barry helped Len to sit on the edge so he could rid himself of his wet shoes and socks, and pull his shirt up to check the wound that revealed a faint scar cleanly healed over. He had still lost blood and looked in need of a solid meal and water to drink, but he would be all right.

The worry Barry felt for so many others knowing his secret now came to the forefront with Len's recovery, and for a moment, he thought of ducking back under the water to hide. He should not leave the pool yet anyway, not until he felt rejuvenated.

But none of them, not a one, looked at Barry with anything less than amazement. He was something beautiful and miraculous to them. He was a hero, for he had saved Len's life—again. And they were his dear friends who had no thoughts of betrayal to sell proof of a 'freak' for riches and fame.

It was only Axel who looked on with wariness.

"I knew you talked too weird to be normal," Ralph said with the widest, giddiest grin.

"Who's normal in this building anyway," Carla said, rustling his hair with teasing fondness that caused him to look at her with his usual adoration.

Miss Maggie merely shrugged. "I've seen weirder."

"I thought all mermaids were girls," Mai said, held back from getting too close to the pool by Carla's firm hand given the blood littered everywhere.

"He's not a mermaid, silly," Michael said, "he's a merman."

"Merfolk," Barry corrected.

"Why 'folk'?" Michael wrinkled his nose in curiosity.

Barry leaned on the edge of the pool beside Len. "Because sometimes my kin look like men. Sometimes like women. But we are neither and also both." Much as Barry had chosen the form of a human man to match Len's desires.

"Oh. Cool," Michael said, and Mai nodded in wonderment with him.

That seemed to surprise and yet also not surprise Len, but he simply smiled.

Still, Barry added, "You can call me a mermaid if you like."

Maggie took charge from there getting things cleaned up as best they could, getting Len into fresh dry clothes retrieved from upstairs, and fresh clothes brought down for Barry once he was ready to get out of the water.

Hartley called in for 'cleaners' to handle the Santini man. Barry hardly cared what Jesse's people did to him, just so long as he did not have to see his own damage once more.

He was glad Len did not ask.

He was glad Axel did not say anything. But he wished his friend was not being so distant.

Len did not wish to leave until Barry could join him upstairs, so Miss Maggie ordered takeout for everyone and they ate right there together, crowding in close to Barry now that the blood had been wiped from the floor. The water was still not fit for anyone but him due to its pinkish hue, but they would have someone clean it properly tomorrow.

"We have people for that," Hartley said, signing secretly to Barry that he was beautiful. "Boss'll cover it."

When Barry finally felt well enough to leave the water, he checked to be sure Len was well, kissed him soundly, then pulled Axel aside before they headed upstairs.

"Please—"

"Don't tell Lenny, I heard you."

"Yes, but…please do not look at me like that. Please do not fear me."

Axel had his arms crossed like a shield to protect him. "I'm not afraid. I…I don't know what I am. You were eating him or something." He shuddered.

"I was not eating him, merely—"

"Gnawing on his neck? Shredding him to pieces?" Axel snapped, then immediately pulled back. "Not that he didn't deserve it. He nearly killed Lenny, would have killed him if not for you. You saved him. You keep saving him. But you're also lying to him." All the headway Barry had made in his human life seemed to crumble in Axel's eyes, painting him as the outsider he was. "What are you?"

"I am merfolk," Barry said numbly, "that was never a lie."

"But what are merfolk?" Axel pressed. "Really? Coz Lenny thinks it's the tail, but that's not true. It's more than that. It's old legends of mermaids and sirens drowning people for fun."

He was not wrong; that was exactly what Barry's kin were like. "I would never do that, I swear to you, but some things I cannot tell Len until the pact is over."

"Pact?"

"The magic that allows me to take this form prevents certain truths from being spoken. Other things, I…I keep from him so he does not hate me as you do now."

That snapped Axel's attention to Barry's eyes, which he had been avoiding, and his arms dropped from his chest. "I don't hate you. You're freaky and I don't get what's going on, but…" He trailed off, frowning at himself, at Barry maybe, but no, himself, because the next moment, he launched forward, enveloping Barry in his arms and squeezing tightly. "I love you, Scarlet. You're the best. You are. But don't hide this from Lenny. Whatever you can tell him, tell him. I won't, I promise, but you have to, okay? He deserves to know you really are more Creature from the Black Lagoon than Blue." He chuckled, and the tremble in his voice was a little less prominent. "Doesn't change anything else about you though. I'm sorry I got so spooked."

Stunned but so grateful, Barry embraced Axel back with eager arms. He did not realize he was crying until he felt the hot tears streaming down his cheeks. Axel looked at him as they parted like he was truly sorry he had ever stared in fear.

"You give your vow of love so easily," Barry sniffled, wiping at his eyes to quickly clear them, "despite having seen what I am. You believe Len could be the same?"

"He's not some shallow asshole," Axel said, looking calmer after holding Barry like he had needed to touch him anew to be sure he was not sharp, "it might just be a shock, is all."

"Hey!" Len called to them. "What are you two talking about? Let's head up."

Perhaps Barry was wrong. Perhaps Len could accept him as he truly was. He nodded his thanks to Axel and went to Len with a fresh smile.

The others had all peppered Barry with questions the way Axel once did, assuaged now, ready for sleep, and Mai hugged his legs before they retired for he was proof of magic to her young eyes and only something to be marveled at.

Ralph, too, seemed like some of the darkness from him had lifted, able to move on from the death he had been witness to because Barry had shown him something miraculous in his healing—hope returned to one left wanting.

Axel's final encouraging smile gave Barry hope too.

"You believe we are safe here?" Barry asked as they entered the apartment. The fire escape was already cleared.

"After Jesse's men were here to clean up, if there are any other stragglers, they won't act tonight. Come here." Len pulled Barry to him as soon as the door closed and kissed him hot and heated like he had longed to do so from the moment he awoke in the water.

Len loved him. He did. He would not shun Barry to know the truth.

"Len…" Barry sighed, summoning his courage, their foreheads falling together after the kiss with the welcome weight of Len's hands at his hips.

"You know, for a minute there when I was passing out," Len spoke before Barry could finish, "I thought I saw that monster again, the one you erased from my dreams."

"Oh?" Barry prompted, feeling his confidence to be truthful sink like a rock in his stomach.

"You saved me from all the monsters. Guys with guns. A life I didn't want. Even the worst monster living in my head."

The worst…

"You mean everything to me, Barry."

That caused him to look up at Len directly. "Then you love me, as I love you?"

"Those aren't words I can say." Len winced.

"Why?" Barry beseeched him. It was all he needed. It was the only way.

"They'd feel hollow from me. Broken," Len said, withdrawing from Barry with a pained expression. "Between my dad and a life of bad choices, it's always been an ugly word to me. I don't mind if you say it, but I need to know it's okay if you don't hear it back. Not now. Maybe not ever."

"Not…ever?" That rock somehow dropped deeper.

"I'm sorry," Len said and meant it, clearly resenting the part of him that could not give Barry what he wanted, but it was Len's pain that further hurt Barry, because they should not have to sidestep each other because of what things out of their control made of them.

"It is all right," Barry assured him, wrapping his hands around Len's neck. "I am sorry your father and many of those around you were as awful as my kin were to me. I am especially sorry for how much it wounded your heart. I long only to heal it."

"You have," Len lifted his hands to gently touch Barry's wrists. "You did. Literally," he added with a chuckle, drawing down one of Barry's hands to rest over his healed wound.

"Yes. But…maybe someday you could say the words?" Barry asked, and just as quickly Len's good humor died.

"I don't want you counting on that, Barry. I don't want to disappoint you."

"You could never. You could never disappoint me." He pressed forward to kiss Len's lips once more. "It is all right. It will be all right. If you cannot say it, then let us show our love. Let me show you how much you mean to me."

While I still can.

Barry pulled Len to the bedroom, intent on pouring all his love into his acts, knowing that sharing this with Len and reveling in his warmth, his body, his kind heart, had a time limit. Telling Len the truth, showing him his true form, would not be what pushed Len to say the words. If anything, it would be what caused Len to remember him with hatred once he was gone rather than fondness.

Barry wanted his remaining days with Len to pass sweetly. He also wanted to know that Len would be well even if he was not around to protect him. He wanted Len to have his heart's desire even if that did not include Barry.

And, after they had taken their pleasure in each other and Barry lay awake while Len slept, he thought he might know a way.

In the morning, he texted Axel.

XXXXX

Len had never been as close to death as he was when that bullet pierced his chest, not even when he had been sinking to the bottom of the river, sure to drown. Still, in both cases, Barry had been there to save him. Len wished he could give Barry the one thing he wanted and say the words, but he needed more time. They hadn't even known each other for a month. While Len might feel it, potent and strange and wonderful as it was, he was not ready to push aside every hang up he had ever had and say it unless he could do so honestly.

Barry said it was fine, that he was happy enough simply being with Len, but Len could tell as the days passed that Barry seemed quieter, like he was pulling away. He even went out without Len a few times, to see Axel about something he wouldn't tell Len the details of.

It was the little things that Len could not explain that worried him most.

"Did you change the sheets?"

"Yes, I…like these better."

Not to mention the hesitation Barry showed sometimes when they touched, like he feared he might hurt Len when he had never worried about that before.

Once, when Len surprised Barry, grabbing his hand from behind, he pulled back with a start from a cut on his palm. "Shit. Those sharp nails of yours again, huh?"

Barry looked dismayed as he turned back, apologizing profusely, but he wouldn't explain why he was so alarmed.

Finally, after a week had passed, maybe more, and Len had been out at another job interview, trying to find something to make ends meet before his next rent check was due and maybe finally have that pay stub Sara kept nagging him about, he came home to find a stack of papers on the kitchen counter.

It took Len a moment to understand what he was looking at, but it was a loan for Barry Allen signed over to Len's name, everything he needed to buy the building down the street and get started with a business, as well as the beginning paperwork to purchase the building, though that would take a bit more time, more than Barry would have been able to accomplish in so short a time, even with Axel's help, which was obviously how they had accomplished this.

Barry could be made to look like a perfect candidate with flawless credit and everything a bank would want, because there were no records to say otherwise, even if the records anyone would find would be falsified. They'd gotten everything in motion to surprise him.

A smile stretched on Len's face and his eyes felt hot in gratitude, but before he could call out to Barry, who hadn't yet appeared with his arrival, he lifted the last of the papers to find a note at the bottom of the stack in Barry's flowing handwriting.

My beloved Len-

I wish things could have been different, but with this, I hope you can finally live the life you want for yourself and remember me fondly. All I ever wanted was your happiness. Please know you gave me much in return.

Forgive me.

-Barry

"What…?"

Len heard the creek of the floor in the living room and stepped out of the kitchen to see Barry setting a pile of neatly folded clothing on the sofa, wearing only his simplest of outfits, jeans and a red T-shirt, as if leaving all else behind and ready to walk out the door. He startled when he saw Len.

"What is this?" Len lifted the note in his hand. "You're leaving?"

"I hoped to be gone before you returned." Barry glanced away. "I must go before the sun gets any closer to setting."

"Why? Barry." Len crossed to him and hated how Barry backed away. "What did I do? What changed? I thought you were mine and I'm yours, and you weren't even going to say goodbye? How can you leave?"

"I do not want to leave."

"Then don't."

"You wish for me to stay?" Barry looked at him plaintively.

"Of course I do."

"Then tell me."

"Stay." Len threw the note on the pile of Barry's clothes and grasped his hands. "Whatever you need, I'll do it. I'll give you everything you want. You got me the shop, got me out of the life so I can run it like an honest man. You've made everything in my life better since the moment you entered it." Seeing the fond smile grow on Barry's face, Len reached for his cheek and held it. "You're beautiful and warm like a light in the worst pits of this world when I don't think I can stand the dark anymore. You like my cooking and all my favorite movies." He laughed, and Barry's smile twitched wider. "You love my friends. You're part of my family. I never want to be away from you, Barry. Ever."

Barry nuzzled his cheek against Len's hand. "I love you, Len," he said with questioning in his eyes, enough that Len's heart hardened.

"That's what this is about, isn't it?" He drew his hands away, and with his retreat, Barry's smile fell and he backed up a step before realizing he would have to go forward to get to the door.

"I have to go," he said, trying to move past Len.

"I thought…" Len grasped after him, catching his wrist. "You…you said it didn't matter. But it does. If you can't want me the same way without it—"

"I want you," Barry said to the door, not turning to face Len but not pulling from his grip. "I will always want you. That is not the problem."

"Then what is? Why is it so important? Why are you leaving?"

"Because I am out of time." There was a catch in Barry's voice like he was crying.

Then the room darkened as if on cue with the setting of the sun, and Barry spun, eyes bulging wide in worse fear than Len had ever seen. "No…I have to go." He tugged for Len to release him, but that only prompted Len to hang on tighter.

"Why? What is going on? Tell me!"

Barry fought him, struggling as if Len's touch burned his skin, but Len couldn't let go without an explanation, and because he wouldn't release him, Barry reared back and pushed Len so hard, he flew across the room with an oomph as he struck the ground, winded.

Looking at him in shock and apology, Barry backpedaled and spun about to sprint for the door at last, but just before he reached it, he cried out in such agony, Len thought he'd missed a gunshot ring out.

Barry stumbled, pawing at the door, but he couldn't stay upright, his legs like jelly, losing their purchase. He dove for the kitchen instead.

"Barry!"

"No! You must not see!" He disappeared from view like he was going to be sick in the kitchen sink, though Len was certain he saw him falter as he crossed the threshold, stumbling forward as his legs gave way beneath him.

"Barry!" Len cried again, lurching to his feet to give chase, not understanding why Barry would ever run from him.

Then he turned the corner.

And his nightmare lay on the kitchen floor.

TBC...