"Bel…?"

Bel flinched at Takeshi's voice. He didn't dare move; maybe if he laid there quietly, the younger would think he was still sleeping. "…"

Takeshi wasn't fooled, but he didn't comment on the blond's actions; he instead pulled the smaller male closer to him. "I'm sorry, Bel… I don't… I don't know why I did that…"

Bel couldn't bring himself to respond; all he wanted was to die. "…"

"Bel…" The younger reached out and tried to wrap his arms around his boyfriend, but Bel wouldn't have it; he elbowed the younger male in the stomach as hard as he could before he rolled himself out of the bed.

Bel sniffed back tears as he hurried to Chiara's crib and pulled his baby into his arms before he whirled around on the spot in an angry manner and shouted in a manner that was supposed to be intimidating, but only came across as greatly distressed. "Leave us alone!"

"Bel, I didn't –"

"- Go away!" Bel tears came hard as he buried his face against his daughter's tiny chest. He sobbed loudly for a few seconds before he scurried away into the bathrooms that he could lock the door behind him in an attempt to keep Takeshi away from him. He cried his heart out as he leant against the door to keep it shut, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't ignore the heartbroken tone in the other male's voice.

"Bel…" Takeshi was knocking weakly at the door, worried for the blond's safety; it had taken so long to get Bel to trust him to this point, and in one night, he had gone along and shattered it all – there was no way the boy was going to take it well… "Bel, please open the door; I'm sorry…"

Bel started to tremble from stress. He let go of the now-crying Chiara so that he could raise his hands to his ears and pull his knees to his chest. He rocked back and forth as panic overwhelmed him, and in that moment, his thinking was as clouded as Takeshi's had been last night. His eyes searched for something – anything! – and when he found it, he stumbled to his feet and pulled it into his hold. In a shaking voice, he yelled, "You're not sorry! I'm going to kill myself! I hate you, Takeshi!"

"Bel, no! Don't do it! Bel!" Takeshi pounded on the door and tried his hardest to open it, but nothing he did was enough. His heart raced as he heard Bel's whimpers of pain, and he could only imagine what the other was doing to himself; Bel had been through so much, he wouldn't be surprised if the boy really was trying to kill himself. "Bel! Open the door! Bel!"

Bel didn't stop crying, not even as he dragged his blade down his arm and through his veins. He could feel some sort of relief wash through him at the action, comforted in knowing that his pain was finally about to end. He knew he was a terrible parent for leaving Chiara behind like this, and he wished there was another way where he could remain there for her, but if he didn't do this, he was only going to hurt more and his daughter would suffer because of him. He was vaguely aware of the pounding at the door ending and Takeshi no longer yelling to him, but he didn't care; there were too many emotions going through him to give a shit about what his boyfriend was doing right now.

The boy slumped against the wall when he became weak. His vision had gone black and the nausea and ringing in his ears were almost unbearable, but at least he was no longer focusing on Chiara's crying; his world had become so quiet all of a sudden, he briefly wondered if he had gone deaf.

"Oh, fuck. Bel!"

Bel didn't even realise that his bathroom door had been broken off its hinges and someone was lifting him up from the puddle of blood he was slouched in; all that mattered to him was that he could feel himself losing consciousness, and he hoped with all of his might that it was finally about to be over.

~~XX~~

"What happened in there?"

"I-I don't…" Takeshi couldn't stop crying as Squalo sat at the table across from him. He couldn't remember ever being so scared before, seeing the way the Varia Rain had carried an almost-lifeless Bel from the bathroom and straight to the infirmary. Lussuria had escorted the Vongola Guardian to the kitchen to get him away from Bel and instead caring for Lussuria before he, too, fled to the infirmary to keep their young comrade alive. It had felt like an eternity before Squalo had come to the kitchen to sit with his Vongola counterpart and tell Takeshi that Bel had been stabilised but was still unconscious.

Takeshi didn't know what to do, no matter how comforting Squalo was trying to be, because he knew that what had happened in that bathroom was because of him.

"He should be okay, Takeshi; we got him on a blood drip before he bled out." Squalo sighed. "I just don't get it… He's never tried to kill himself before; I mean… if he were going to try it, wouldn't he have tried it already? Or even been cutting himself beforehand?"

Takeshi's tears came harder. "…I… I-it's my fault… I… When I… I just…"

"How the fuck would him trying to off himself be your fault, brat? What the fuck would you have done to him to make him try that shit?"

"…I… I raped him, Squalo…"

If Squalo were drinking, he would have choked on it after hearing that; Takeshi and rape could never belong in the same sentence! "Bullshit! Like you'd rape anyone!"

"It's true! I just… I don't know what came over me… I was drunk, and I… I swear I thought… I swear I thought he wanted it, too… He… He gave me consent…"

"He gave you consent, Takeshi; that isn't rape! It'd be rape if he told you no, either before or sometime during, but did he ever tell you no, or to stop?"

The Vongola Rain shook his head. "…"

"He didn't withdraw his consent; you didn't know, brat. It wasn't rape; Bel is just…. Not himself… I'll talk to him when he wakes up; for now, just leave him be; he's been through enough."

It wasn't like Takeshi to cry, but it also wasn't like him to hurt those he cared about – and look at what he had done to his fragile boyfriend… He was a terrible person! "He hates me…"

"He's scared and confused; he isn't thinking clearly. Just give him time and take care of Chiara for him. Lussuria and I will sort it out. If I were you, I'id go back to the room we gave you, though; give Bel some time to himself."

Takeshi nodded. He wiped at his eyes before he held Chiara tighter to his chest and got to his feet. He said a soft farewell before he left the kitchen, needing alone time; he needed to come to terms with what happened, because even though he didn't believe Squalo when the man said it wasn't his fault…

He just quite simply couldn't believe the other, no matter how much he wanted to.