Hey, pretties! I wanted to say a special thank you to you guys who were giving me different tips to get rids of my cold that's been hanging around. I'm happy to report that it is starting to disappear, although I'm still drained. Not too sure what it is, past couple of weeks have just been hard. Not having a great day today, so thought I would update, get my mind off things! Oh, also, I'm really sorry about the errors and stuff that have been happening with this site. When everything got fixed, a lot of random alerts came through to me, including reviews that dated back to sometime in March, so if I've missed replying to some, that would be why.
Jace didn't get another chance to speak to Clary alone for the rest of the wedding, but maybe that was a good thing.
Whatever they needed to discuss really shouldn't take place in a situation like this, one where they were meant to be celebrating the most important day in their friends lives.
After Simon whisked Clary away, Isabelle had put her hand on Jace's arm and lead him back to the table. As usual, Isabelle knew far more about what was going on in his head than she was letting on, but she seemed to agree that now wasn't the time or place either, so she settled for keeping him distracted by talking about the mishaps when taking the wedding photos. Apparently a couple of the uncles had kept stepping on the trains of the two brides dresses, and then Aline's father had burst out crying, saying that his daughter looked so beautiful, and that had been a fifteen minute set back to get him looking photo ready again.
Jace appreciated what his friend was doing, but he couldn't stop his eyes from going back to Clary.
When he had seen her walk into the wedding venue this morning, one hand tucked into Alec's arm it felt as though his heart had stopped in his chest. Her hair was pinned back from her face, her elegant neck on display, and the dress she was wearing unfairly left her smooth shoulders and collarbones bare. The dress was gorgeous, flowing and purple, and it made his breath do all sorts of weird things in his throat.
And dancing with her, feeling her body so close and warm against his, made him think about how perfect she fit there. He had never thought about it, when they had danced together in the past, that everything just felt so natural between them. He had just taken that all for granted, until he realized that it was something that he might actually loose, and that was when everything started to click in his head.
The way he felt about Clary was more than friendship.
It was more than what he had felt toward anyone.
He just didn't now how he was meant to put all of that into words, especially if she didn't feel the same way. He could possibly ruin everything between them, more than how it was at the moment.
It was almost one in the morning when everything was finally winding down and the two brides were ushered into a white, stretch limo, with the words Just Married scrawled across the back window in pretty, loopy script. The one's who were left at the wedding were all on the footpath, waving after them, and shouting their last congratulations.
"Well, we're gonna head off," Magnus announced, linking his fingers together with Alec's. He must have told Alec that he had something planned, because the dark haired boy looked both excited and worried at the same time, which was completely understandable when Magnus was involved. Isabelle looked tired, her head resting on Simon's shoulder, and Simon looked a little nervous as he glanced between Clary and Jace and then pursed his lips.
"I was going to spend the night with Iz," he said hesitantly, as though he was expecting them to disagree. Jace just raised an eyebrow at him, trying to play off the fact that he had Clary were going to be alone in the apartment tonight.
"Alright," Jace nodded his head jerkily and then glanced in Clary's direction, trying not to pay any attention to the way she was pulling her lower lip into her mouth, making it even fuller and redder and unfairly more kissable. "You ready to head off then?"
"Yeah, if you are," Clary mumbled and he nodded. "I'll just go grab my bag," she turned and walked back into the reception hall, Isabelle and Simon following after her. Magnus was tapping his fingers erratically against the screen of his phone, and Alec was standing on the edge of the side walk, hailing down a cab. One pulled over and Magnus looked up from his phone, a grin on his face as he leaned forward to press a hard kiss against his boyfriends mouth.
"Don't we need to go back to our apartment to pack?" Alec asked in confusion when Magnus tells the driver their destination address.
"Nope. Taken care of," Magnus smirks.
"Is that where my blue and white shirt went?" Alec wondered out loud and Magnus just shrugged before turning back to Jace, his expression suddenly serious, eyes flickering over his shoulder before back to him.
"The shit that's going to happen tonight?" He started pointedly. "You make sure you talk it through as well. Don't just bang and then go back to this horrible silence, because it fucking sucks."
"We're not gonna—" Jace began to protest, but Magnus just arched an eyebrow and Jace stopped talking, because there was no point in arguing with him. He honestly didn't think that they were going to have some magical night together, because with the way Clary kept avoiding his gaze, he was guessing she was planning on going straight to bed and closing her door very firmly behind her. "We'll be fine," Jace finally settled for, and it seemed as though that was enough for Magnus because he nodded.
"Just have this all sorted out by the time we get back," Magnus said. "I hate you two hurting." Jace managed a tight smile, and then turned when he heard steps approaching them. Clary appeared at his side, looking tired but just as beautiful as she had looked the first time he had seen her that morning. "We'll see you in two days, biscuit," Magnus said to her, giving her a kiss on the cheek and Jace one last squeeze on the arm before getting in the cab next to Alec. Isabelle and Simon were next, Isabelle looking as though she was going to fall asleep the second she got into the backseat of the cab. Jace held up his hand and waited for their own cab to pull over.
"Usually Izzy manages these late nights well," he mused out loud, mainly just in an effort to start a conversation.
"Uh, she was up all night with Helen," Clary said softly. "The bride-to-be was freaking out, and going between saying 'fuck this all, we should elope' to 'this is a terrible idea—what happens if we buy an apartment and a dog, and then she leaves me, and she takes my dog!'. It was a pretty distressing way to spend the evening." Jace let out a soft snort of laughter as a cab pulled up next to them, holding the door open for Clary to get in first, holding her dress up so that it didn't get caught. He gave their address to the driver and then leaned back into the cracked, cheap leather.
The twenty minute drive back to their apartment was so painfully quiet that he could actually hear his heartbeat. It was thrumming in his ears, getting faster and faster as they approached their apartment, wondering if Clary was nervous about being back in their home, alone with him.
It shouldn't mean anything, because they had been in this situation a hundred times before. But after what he had said to her at the venue, maybe she got it. Maybe she knew how he felt.
Jace paid the cab fare and once again held the door open for Clary to get out. She gave him a small smile before ducking her head and walking toward their building. She must have taken the pins in her hair out, because it was now falling around her shoulders and down her back. There were all these kinks and curls in the smooth waterfall from the way it had been held up all day, and Jace really wanted to reach out and touch them, tug on a curl until the soft strands were threaded through his fingers. He fought the urge by shoving his hands into his pockets and keeping his head lowered as they took the elevator up to their floor.
Their apartment was a bit of a mess, after the boys had been rushing around to get ready this morning, even though they had had plenty of time to actually get dressed, they had just left it all to the last minute, as per usual. It had caused a lot of distress on Magnus' behalf.
"Uh, Jace?" Clary finally said, looking over at him.
"Mm?" Jace hummed out, focussing his eyes on a patch of worn through carpet directly beside his foot.
"About what you said..." she drifted off, and Jace chanced a look at her. She was back to biting her lip and playing with a strand of hair, twisting it around and around her finger, a habit of hers when she was nervous. "I just—" she broke off again and made a frustrated noise in her throat. Jace felt the lump in his throat grow as he realized that he didn't actually want to hear what she had to say. If she was having this much trouble putting words together, then it probably wasn't something that he was going to like.
"Hey, don't worry about it," Jace forced out a smile as he toed off his shoes. "It's been a long day, how about we just talk in the morning?" He was already starting toward his room, not waiting for Clary to reply. She didn't say anything, and Jace felt such a crushing weight on his chest that he had to forcibly gulp down breaths so that he could actually get air in his lungs. He finally reached his room and shut the door behind him.
What if he lost her?
That wasn't even something he could bear to think about right now.
His fingers went to the buttons of his shirt, fumbling a couple of times before he finally managed to pull it open and rip it off, tossing it toward the corner of the room. Usually he was all about being tidy and folding everything up or putting it carefully in his washing basket, except today he just didn't care. He wanted to fall into bed and sleep for the next few days, pretending that the last week and a half hadn't happened.
"Jace?" There was a hesitant knock on the door, and for a split second, Jace considered not answering it. But Clary was standing on the other side, waiting for him, and he couldn't ignore her. He braced himself for the worse as he walked over and opened the door, his hand tightening around the handle.
"Yeah?" He asked her.
"Did you mean what you said?" She asked him, meeting his eyes determinedly, her chin pushed forward. "Did you mean what you said in the way that I think you meant it?" The sentence was cryptic and Jace's brain was too tired to try and decipher it.
"I don't know Clary, how do you think I meant it?" He murmured tiredly, leaning his head against the side of the door.
"That you like me," she stated, the words coming out of her mouth before she seemed to think about them because then her eyes widened almost comically and she shoved her lips back together and swallowed hard. Jace stared back at her, and he didn't doubt for a moment that his eyes were just as big as hers. The silence stretched between them and it wasn't the silence that had been going on for the past few days where it felt awkward and uncomfortable.
This silence crackled with an electricity that made Jace's skin break out in goosebumps and his blood rush straight to his cock.
"Yes," he breathed out. "I like you." Clary's lips twitched upward and then she was lunging forward and pressing their mouths together. Jace wasn't too sure what he was expecting, because he had purposefully being trying not to think about what she would feel like if he ever got the chance to kiss her, but it wasn't this.
Maybe he thought it would be some earth shattering experience or they would fit together like two puzzle pieces, but it wasn't quite like that.
Their teeth knocked together, and then their noses bumped together, and Clary let out a little frustrated noise at the back of her throat which made Jace want to smile. He finally seemed to catch up with the program, and he dropped his hands to her hips, tugging her toward him and canting his head to the side so that when their mouths came back together, there was no awkward bumps.
And then it all just seemed to fall together.
Clary sighed against his lips as his hands cupped her jaw, brushing his thumbs over her cheekbones, so gently that she shuddered in his arms. He was holding her like she was so delicate that she might break, and it made tears flood to the corners of her eyes. He kissed her slowly, opening his mouth but not licking inside, wanting to savor every second she would give him.
When her fingers settled on the buckle of the belt holding up his tuxedo pants he jerked a little and pulled back to look at her properly. The pupils of her eyes were so blown that there was only a sliver of green around the outside, and she was biting down on her lower lip, gaze flickering between his mouth and then back to meet his eyes.
"You're sure?" Jace asked her, his thumbs continuing to stroke her face, massaging lightly at the dip of her jaw, underneath her ear.
"Yeah," Clary nodded, curling her fingers into his belt and tugging a little. Jace smiled before his hands trailed down her neck, and then moving around to her dress to find the clasp. It took two attempts, because it was one of the awkward hook and eye contraptions, then he managed to release the clasp and pull down the hidden zipper, and she was suddenly only standing in front of him in a strapless white bra and white underwear.
He swallowed hard, taking half a step back so that he could appreciate her fully.
Her cheeks reddened a little and Jace wanted to tell her that she had nothing to be embarrassed about, but instead he just leaned forward to catch her lips again, pulling her onto the bed on top of him. They kissed some more, while her hands worked at his belt and then the button and zipper of his pants. At some point, one of them hit the light switch beside his bed, and the only light was coming from the moon and the lights outside through the open curtains. They rolled over, so that Clary was underneath him, and her hair was splayed out, dark against his pale pillow, and he had to take another minute to catch his breath.
"Are you okay?" Clary asked, sounding a little nervous as her fingers tracked down his torso, fingers feather light and doing all sorts of crazy things to his body and his head.
"Perfect," Jace whispered honestly, rubbing his nose against the curve of her neck and pressing a kiss to her shoulder. When he finally sunk inside of her, Clary's breathy sighs and murmurs of his name filling the room, Jace knew that there was no other word to describe how he was feeling.
Right! So the movie I definitely recommend this time around is Gifted with Chris Evans. It's amazing, both me and my hubby got a little teary in it. And Hacksaw Ridge, which honestly deserved every award and nomination it received, I got pretty teary in that one as well. Also on the movie related topic, I should have mentioned it earlier, but I've been watching the American Assassin trailer on repeat pretty much since it came out! Dylan O'Brien is just...Ashffnjpff. Beautiful. Lol.
Shifting onto music, we got tickets to go to Ed Sheeran! It's, like, a year away, but I'm soooo psyched. He was absolutely incredible last time I saw him live, and I can't wait to go again. And a song I would recommend would be Glitter and Gold by Barns Courtney and both Hold On and Homeland by Chord Overstreet. Heard it on Lea Michele's snapchat and I had to look it up as soon as I got home, and I can't believe he's still singing! I absolutely loved Sam in Glee, and he's still got such a beautiful voice.
Anyway! Let me know what you thought of the chapter! Loved it, hated it, your favourite part...Leave a review, and let me know xx