Another new character?! Ja, meet Tetsuo! Actually, he may seem a leetle familar to people. Can you guess who he was? This chapter is pretty tame compared to what is to come. I've realised that some people may be a bit confused over why Ayuru has turned human all of a sudden too. Wait and see, it'll all be explained... sorta.
Oh, don't worry, Chichiri isn't going to be gay/bi, I have other things planned... *evil grin* The others... I like having them screwed up, it's kinda funny! I am just cruel! Ok, so can you please not kill me? *grin at Neko Kamiya*
Tetsuo
Maths first thing in the morning is not
the best thing to have, no one is awake enough for it... well, except Doukun.
That child is just a walking bundel of nerves. I am slightly nervouse because
I don't want the same maths teacher as last year, Agiri-sempai was hard
to bear. There are only the academics in this class, no one else does maths
at this high level unless they want to achieve. At least it means that
my friends are here.
"Hi Houjun, Myojuan," I say cheerfully.
"Hello, no da," Houjun says then covers his mouth. "Not again, no da!" he wails. Myojuan laughs and I look at Houjun carefully to see if he is on something. No da? Not very normal speech, I think.
"He's been saying that since Monday! I think he's cracking up!" cackles Myojuan.
"No da? That sounds like English," I say, "didn't you have English on Monday?"
"Yeah, that's right," agrees Myojuan, "you're better at English then I am, what does it mean?"
"No means iie, I don't know what 'da' is," I reply. Doukun looks up.
"Da? That's not strictly English but I believe it is used in some parts of the world to mean 'father' or 'dad', an abbreviation," Doukun replies.
"So he's saying 'not dad'?" Myojuan asks, skeptically, "Why the hell would he say that?"
"Yeah, my Dad is an accountant!" says Houjun, as if that had anything to do with it. Doukun shrugs. He looks down at his text book again and continues working.
"He actually seems to enjoy maths," I observe in shock.
"He's pretty smart, wants to be an astrophysist," Myojuan points out, "I only do this because it is a prerequisite to a medicine course at university. I want to be a doctor."
"Oh? I want to be a vet and that's why I'm doing this, although I don't see how maths is much help with a sick goldfish," I say.
"You need to be able to count the puppies!" Houjun says, gleefully.
"No, no, that's dogs," I point out in my explaining-to-idiots voice.
"Really, I thought that was birds," Myojuan says sarchastically.
"Whatever," I say, flippantly, "I like animals anyway."
"But could you kill an animal, no da? I mean, put a sick dog out of its misery," Houjun asks. I look down.
"I don't know. I probably wouldn't be able to kill a healthy animal if someone asked me to. Maybe if it would stop a painful and slow death, I would, but murder? No, I could never murder someone," I reply.
"Murder? Who's going to murder someone?" someone asks. I realise I had been talking loudly.
"Tetsuo said he was going to kil someone," someone else replies.
"Yeah, I said I was going to kill anyone eavesdropping on my conversations," I say. They look at me and I glare at them. They quickly look down again and Houjun laughs.
"You look absolutely ferocious like that, no da!" he says and pretend sto faint with terror. I laugh and relax my face.
"I love doing that, it freaks people out," Isay.
"Sorry to storm your party, boys..." starts Agiri-sempai. Damn!
"That's okay, we'll just send you away with the other gate crashers," Myojuan says, hearing her voice but not turning around to see who it was until a few seconds later. His mouth falls open.
"Oh! Agiri-sempai!" he gaps. He does a very convincing stunned mullet impersonation. She glares at him until her withers and hands him his text book. We gape at her as she storms off.
"Oh... my... god..." says Myojuan, voicing all our opinions. Agiri-sempai has the worst dress sense we have ever seen in a teacher, and that's saying something! No top is too transparent, no bra too bright, no skirt to short. It would be very distracting for male students and very sexy... if she was 30 years younger, didn't have skin like a prune and had no veins popping out over her legs like net stockings. Seeing that much withered flesh exposed has terrifying effects on students... and even her fellow teachers. She also has the disturbing habit of leaning over people, gassing them with the overpowering smell of lavender water mixed with body odour. She leans over Doukun who gags and suddenly announces,
"Excuse me, I am feeling unwell. I believe
some bizarre pestilence has struck me down, may I retire to the sick bay?"
The teacher pauses as she deciphers Doukun-speak and at this point, he
is turning green. She finally waves a hand, giving him permission to leave,
but adding further stench in his area. He runs out of the room, retching.
Skipsida's Ravings:
Two sad facts.
#1- I actually do have maths in the morning tomorrow. Pity me!
#2- The teacher is based on last year's maths teacher. Everyone (students and teachers) was sure she was humping the English teacher in his office. That's just scary...