Chapter Thirteen: Can't Stop the Feeling

Henry nearly spit out his drink. Instead, he swallowed so quickly, the muscles in his throat spasmed and he fell into a coughing fit. Startled, Joe jumped to his feet. He grabbed Henry's wrists and lifted his hands into the air. "Francine?" Henry managed to choke out. "She's—" He pulled his hands away from Joe and covered the hard cough that pushed out of his chest. "She's back?"

Pinching the bridge of his nose, reclaimed his seat. He nodded. A pained expression crossed his face. "And I don't know what she wants," he said. "Nor do I care." He dropped his hand to the table. "She's showed up at work and…" He was silent for a moment. "Barry saw me talking to her, but I don't think he recognized her. He and Iris were so young when she left."

"Yeah. He was."

Henry pulled his lips between his teeth. He stretched his arms up over his head and looked around his hotel room. Joe had insisted upon the hotel for the location of their conversation. There were too many people at the West house at the time, and it was too important a conversation to be had in the off chance anyone would overhear them.

Maybe it was easier to discuss the topic of family away from that safe space. There was nothing more temporary than a hotel.

On the floor of the open closet, his belongings spilled out of a bag. What little of them he had. The wastebasket was filled with crumpled bags of take-out food – he could barely remember how it tasted, he ate so fast now. The curtains over the windows were shut, chairs pressed against the windowsill, pulling them taut. He just wanted to make sure…

The pillows on his bed still held the imprint of his head, folding upwards in a V-shape. As usual, he had woken up at 4 O'clock on the dot, and waited for a correction's officer to come by for count. But now, it was just silent. Sometime in the middle of the night, he had switched off the TV; the noise had helped him fall asleep. Now, he had time to be left alone with his thoughts; the topic that morning was working through if he was going to attend the West family dinner that day.

He was glad he went. Getting a glimpse of the life Barry had built for himself in his absence was a proud moment. Sad, yet proud. His son had thrived. Both of his kids had.

The world was a change of pace compared to the four walls of grey in Iron Heights. Iron. It all certainly was designed around that color. Dark corridors, dark cells, dark people. The world looked like it was in HD the few instances he could actually get out to walk in the yard. And he didn't exactly know what HD was. But every inch of green from the trees, from the grass, the blues from the skies were an explosion of color.

There were so many times in prison he would close his eyes and picture what it would be like to be found innocent. It was almost as good as this. No, what he could imagine was better. He had his wife. He had his son. He had his life back. It wasn't perfect, but he was out. That was what was important. At least, that's what everyone told him. Reminded him, rather.

"Hey, Joe?" Henry asked.

Joe blinked in surprise. Clearly, it wasn't the response he was looking for to his admission. "Yeah?"

"Move your chair over this way?" Henry lifted his hand, waving it towards the left. Joe glanced over his shoulder. "I can't see the door." Joe did as he asked. "Thanks." He rolled is shoulders, allowing himself to relax slightly in his seat.

If there was something he took away with him from Iron Heights, it was that he needed a good view of the room and its closest exits. Fights could break out at any minute, and he didn't want to be involved. Or look like he was involved. Or look like he was interested in the outcome. He already had enough people talking about him, he didn't need to give them another reason.

He also grew to be anxious whenever he was closely followed. Nora had always boasted about having eyes on the back of her head, and he wished he had developed that level of awareness. Makeshift weapons were passed around under the watchful eye of even the most experienced corrections officers. One day, that spine of a book jabbed into his back could turn out to be a shiv and he wouldn't have known the difference. He didn't even realize he had been stabbed until his knees gave out, and the searing pain radiated outwards from the wound. If he had noticed he was being followed, would it had even happened?

All day long, that was the only thing Barry had done: follow him around. Who was he to tell his son not to do that?

It was all they both had wanted: to get their family back together. Whenever Barry had come around at Iron Heights, Henry did his best not to get his hopes up. His hopes on any good news involving his case, or maybe an appeal finally went through, or someone was willing to listen to his story. Really listen. But everyone had already made up their minds about him. Not that he could blame them; he lived it, and his story sounded incredibly far-fetched even to himself.

Yet, Barry had insisted that he would find enough evidence to get Henry out. Henry tried to be accepting of his son's choices on how to spend his life. Didn't his dad always tell him it was his job to always be supportive of his son, even if he didn't fully understand the choices he made in life? That may be so, but Iron Heights didn't follow the rules of society. It was better to be realistic, and to wait until things were actually happening to accept it. Too many times he had promises and reassurances ripped away from him.

Isn't that what you're doing? Ripping yourself away from Barry? Henry swallowed thickly. Getting you back was all he wanted. Now you want to leave…

"Do you think she's going to leave like you asked?" Henry asked. His chair creaked when he crossed one leg over the other.

"Francine has never done what I asked," Joe replied. "I've asked her numerous times to choose her family. And you saw how that turned out."

Henry made a humming sound, rubbing his chin. "You and I have both seen what addiction does to people," he said. "It's not easy to recognize you'll be in recovery for the rest of your life, let alone to recognize you need help."

"I had given her plenty of opportunities to get help…" Henry didn't answer, seeing the far off look on his friend's face. Joe was talking out loud more than he was talking to Henry in that moment. A moment later, his eyes were trained on Henry. "I thought I was doing the right thing."

"I know," Henry agreed. "I thought I was, too." It still amazed him after all these years, just how impactful for a child a parent's decision was. That was his biggest fear when Nora had announced to him when they had finally gotten pregnant: that his parenting decisions wouldn't be the best for his future child. That he wouldn't be a "good parent."

Joe's words broke through his thoughts. "Having you back was the only thing Barry has always wanted." Henry sighed through his nose. "Every single birthday, and every Christmas, he would wish for your freedom."

Henry let out a derisive laugh. "I don't need you to remind me, Joe," he said. "I don't need you to remind me that I have spent those same fifteen birthdays and Christmases wishing for the same thing. Wishing that Barry would just find peace and move on." He jabbed his finger tip into the table top. "Don't tell me what I've missed. I'm very well aware."

"I'm sorry." Joe settled back in his chair, hands held defensively in front of him. A pensive look crossed "Why do you want to leave?"

Henry hesitated before answering, looking his friend over. He looked into Joe's eyes and didn't find an accusatory look. He wasn't judging. He wasn't silently pleading like Barry had been doing for years.

"Barry," Henry quickly caught himself, "and Averey have so much going on in their lives right now." Now that he was out, he really needed to make sure it stayed that way. "They're doing so much more than I could ever hope and dream for them. They need to put their attention on that. Not me."

"But—"

"People will think what they want to think. And people inside think I'm a snitch. I was attacked for it, and I was just trying to help Barry. Help the Flash." Henry let out a laughing scoff. "And I did everything I could to make sure I survived another day in there. I kept my mouth shut. I put my medical studies to good use. Well, as best as I could without the equipment I'd have in a hospital."

"True."

"And it was because I worried about what they could do to me inside. Before I was attacked, Barry never really had to deal with it. Thanks, in part, to you. Thank you for at least trying to keep him away from Iron Heights." He gave Joe a small smile, which his friend returned. "I didn't want him to have to hinder his life for me. I never did."

"You just want your kids to life a happy life and discover what it is they want to do with it," Joe agreed. Henry nodded. "I never wanted Iris to worry about whether or not I'd make it home after a day of work. But she did. Knowing she was waiting, though, it helped me through the hardest days."

"I know what you mean," Henry said softly. "That's why it's easier for everyone if I just leave." Henry rushed on when Joe looked like he was going to protest. "You know as well as I do that they have far reach outside the walls of Iron Heights." Joe nodded. "If they want to get to me, they'll find a way to do so."

"So, what are you going to do?" Joe asked. "Do you have a plan?"

"My dad has this house in the mountains," Henry explained, "not too far from the city. I always loved it up there. Being out in nature has always calmed me." He shrugged. "It's a bit of a fixer-upper, but in all honesty, it's always been that way. We used to take Barry up every summer."

"The Kaiser Mountains," Joe said with a nod. "You know Barry has them tattooed on his rib cage." Henry blinked in surprise. "He knows I know but won't ever outright admit it. You should have seen the lengths he went through to try and hide it."

Henry gave a fleeting smile.

"You know that guilt, that worry that you're not doing the right thing as a parent, it doesn't go away," Joe commented. "Even when you get those '#1 Dad' mugs, and 'Best Dad in the World' shirts for Father's Day." He tapped his fingers on the table. "Francine was a danger to Iris and I would do everything in my power to protect her. Even, as hard as it was, it meant cutting off contact with her. But you are not a dangerous man, Henry Allen. If you leave now, you're giving up the chance to learn more about your kids as adults. And I'm worried, this will make Averey really feel like she's being abandoned by you." Henry fixed him with a stare. "I know, who am I to say that when I've been dealing with Francine the way I have? Averey and I aren't as close as me and Barry. I mean, we don't ever really talk, unless it's meta related."

Henry grumbled under his breath, running his hands over his face. Joe stopped talking as the growl got louder. "You don't get it: it's not me I'm worried about!" Henry removed his hands from his face. "It's them: it's Barry and Averey. And you. And Iris. And Daniel and Ellie. You had to deal with it fifteen years ago, maybe more than I wanted to think or accept. And now, just because I'm out, I'm making things hard for you again."

"You're not—"

"Joe, if I sue the city for wrongful imprisonment—and I've had a lot of time to think about it—you will have to go on the stand and admit that you were wrong." Joe's mouth formed a thin line. "That you had made a mistake that night. You've have built up a tremendous career over the years, and I do not want to be responsible for You already have to have people sitting in squad cars watching your house, I'm not going to put you through that. Any of you."

"It's not like they're not already talking about us," Joe reminded him. "Iris has been saying that her colleagues at CCPN have been trying to get her to talk about it. And, the Kingstons had the news on their front lawn, just to get a quote from Averey. Barry even told me that they were waiting for you outside of Iron Heights."

Henry shook his head. "If I never got out, they wouldn't have ever known about her."

"You also wouldn't ever get the chance to know her. Or Barry." He hummed. "And Francine wouldn't know about Iris, I suppose."

With each passing second of Henry's sigh, he deflated more and more in his seat. "Do you know what they said to me when I was being released?" he asked after an extended silence. Joe shrugged his shoulders. "'You'll be back.' No one believed that I would make it out here. Sometimes, I don't think I will either."

"Don't say that."

"It's been so much time. When you're out there—" Henry motioned with his thumb towards the window, "waking up, going to work, coming home to dinner, day in and day out, you don't realize how much time – days, weeks, months—has passed. Same thing with Iron Heights; wake up for count, go to breakfast, walk the yard, read until dinner, read until count, go to sleep I'm still going through the day in the exact same way."

"You'll break out of that routine soon."

"So much has changed, and I didn't even realize it." Henry dropped his gaze to his lap. "But people don't forget, and they won't forget what I've supposedly done. Maybe they're waiting for me to prove I'm actually the way they think I am, and I'll do something again."

"You didn't do anything!"

"You know what I mean." Henry swallowed. "And, I get it. Because of all of this, and what people choose to think of me, what they choose to believe, it's made them scared of me. Scared of what I could do next. Honestly? I'm just as scared." Henry lifted his head to look Joe in the eye. His throat suddenly locked up. Bowing his head, he burst into tears. His shoulders shook. Tightly grasped his hands in his lap. Got to his feet and rapped the table twice with his knuckles before he started to pace. "I'm so scared."

"Me too," Joe admitted from behind him.

..

Barry stared into the deep reaches of the Pipeline. A gentle breeze blew past him, bring in the fresh air through the gaps in the ceiling of the building. From deep inside the reaches of the Pipeline, the sound of shifting tiles, and thuds of heavy parts of buildings falling to the floor were distant. Another reminder of what S.T.A.R. Labs could have become.

If not for the evil genius who only used it for his personal gain.

He could picture the intense stare behind the glasses of the Harrison Wells persona he took on. The slow, quiet, smooth talking of a man Barry had idolized for years. Barry scoffed. His eyes darted around from empty pod to empty pod, before they landed on the track on the floor.

Bits of debris were still scattered around the walkway. He could have it all cleaned up in no time Even before S.T.A.R. Labs was officially given to him, he kept the place as tidy as possible; maybe out of some sort of obligation to what he had been given. He wasn't entirely sure. It was the explanation he had given to Cisco; insisting he would go through the closing process of S.T.A.R. Labs that night, however.

He just needed to get out of the party for a little bit. While it was nice to celebrate this occasion with Henry. It was still a reminder of why they were all there. Finally having his dad back, and without his mom, and knowing that he was thinking of leaving again...he just needed some space. He had kept a positive demeanor as much as he could, but the second he was alone, it felt like he had taken twenty-five laps around the Earth – he was that drained of emotion.

Soon after arriving, he found himself walking around S.T.A.R. Labs. He had been there for over a year, helping keep the city safe, witnessing events and inventions that scientists could only dream of, and he never once took the time to look around the facility. He knew what it was like from the outside looking in; spending time wondering what it was like to just set foot inside the rounded walls. Then he got the chance to actually be inside! Not under the best circumstances, but once he looked past how drastically his life had changed, and was going to change, it was pretty cool.

After everything, though, he couldn't bring himself to do something as simple as cleaning the Pipeline. In fact, he could barely get himself to come down to the Pipeline at all. Not that he ever needed a reason to after all of the previous meta-humans had escaped. Still…it was time.

Barry knew that he had to fully face what had occurred, if he was going to lead Team Flash moving forward. The world didn't stop just because his felt like it had. Even he had to slow down and allow time to catch up with him every once in a while.

Turning on his heels, he slapped his hand against the panel on the wall. With a beep and a hiss the Pipeline door slid shut behind him. He walked the halls of S.T.A.R. Labs with purposeful steps, only slowing down and coming to a stop in the Cortex.

"We're all still here," Barry said quietly. The soft hum of the machinery and flashing of the computer screens as the software was updated and the system was rebooted. He could almost laugh at the turn of events. Here he was, Eobard Thawne's greatest enemy. He was alive and well despite his Eobard's efforts to destroy him. "We're still going despite what's happened. Despite everything you've done."

How different would things be if he had never encountered Eobard Thawne in the future? Or if he never chased after him to the past. What would have changed if he saved his mom? He probably wouldn't have met Caitlin and Cisco – not until years from now. Nostrils flaring with a sigh, Barry said, "There was one good thing that you did, though; you brought us all together. Guess I should, uh, thank you for that. For giving me some of the greatest friends I've ever had."

Barry's words nearly died on his lips. Thank him? Thank Eobard? He had done so many terrible things in his life, why did he deserve to be praised for all of the good things? His eyes drifted to the chair-less station Dr. Wells used to control.

"You even gave me advice about saving my mom." Barry chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "I don't understand why you would do that. Why would you give me that chance? So you could do it all again? Better? Actually succeed?" He turned a slow circle around the room, eyes landing on his suit, propped up on the mannequin.

His shoes squeaked on the linoleum flooring as he slowly stepped towards his lifeless suit. Powered down. Empty. "Why did I listen to you concerning everything else, but I couldn't listen to you the one time it was important?" The high, curved ceiling of the alcove bounced his words around him. "Why?"

Running a hand over his mouth, he turned away from his suit. He wasn't talking to Eobard anymore, but himself. Why hadn't he listened? Why didn't he just save his mom? "Because it could have been a trick," Barry whispered. "Just like everything else. If he went back to his time…" His shoulders lifted and dropped in time with his heavy sigh. "Things could have been worse. They had gotten worse. And still you listened to him. Just one more time, why didn't you listen to him?"His voice shook. Barry squeezed his eyes shut. "Everything in your life has been decided for you, when are you finally going to do things for yourself?"

Now.

Half expecting Eobard's cold voice to come over the sound system, Barry hesitated before turning back towards his suit. "You won," he said, pressing his index finger to the emblem on the chest of his suit. "Because Ronnie and Eddie were brave enough to go against what Eobard told them. Be like them. Be brave, Flash."

Averey was right: talking to yourself helped.

Tracing the lightning bolt, Barry smiled to himself, feeling a sudden rush of electricity through his body. He felt his hair stand on end. Static built up in his legs and he shook them, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

Whatever was going to come next, he would be ready for it.

It was Tuesday, and Cisco still couldn't believe that they had a breach siting under S.T.A.R. Labs without anyone knowing about it.

"I don't know why we never thought of looking down here before." Cisco shook his head back and forth. Arguing with himself, he had reasoned that between the Pipeline, his office, and the Cortex, he hadn't taken the time as of late to really get a look around at S.T.A.R. Labs. Why would he even begin to entertain the idea of anything out of the ordinary being housed at S.T.A.R. Labs. Even the sarcasm was in full affect in his thoughts.

The constantly pulsing, twisting, and formless glob that was the biggest breach in Central City had stared back at him over the past couple of days. He only broke his ongoing staring contest with it whenever a device they threw into it came shooting back out – returning with no data for himself or Professor Stein to dissect. Or even become one step closer in learning how to stabilize it. Even throwing Jay's helmet into the breach only shot it back towards them, putting a nice dent into the wall behind Cisco's head. If he had needed his hair cut at the moment, he would have gotten a pretty close buzz.

Since the discovery of the breach, the two of them would meet at S.T.A.R. Labs and get to work. Rolling white boards, and carts carrying equipment were lugged from Cisco's office to the basement. Leaving the room only for bathroom and food breaks (Cisco still had to bring food for the only metahuman in the Pipeline) bring all the equipment needed on rolling carts, and bounce deductions off of each other. They weren't any closer to figuring out how to stabilize the breach. And unsaid frustrations were building.

"Patience, Mr. Ramon," Professor Stein said. He removed his glasses from his face and pinched the bridge of his nose before setting them back on again. He placed his hand on the domed top of Jay's discarded helmet. It didn't even have a dent in it. "A scientific breakthrough doesn't come over night."

Hands planted on a cart holding his computer, Cisco let out a loud "Ha!" He straightened, backs of his knees hitting a stool behind him. Turning to face Professor Stein, he crossed his arms over his chest. "If they did, I wouldn't have pulled so many all-nighters in college."

"Ah, and that was your mistake," Professor Stein commented. "It is eight hours of sleep that ensures a healthy brain. Lack of sleep also hinders logical thinking as I'm sure you're aware."

"Yeah," Cisco agreed, "but you get all the left-over doughnuts and pizza orders that weren't picked up." He shrugged at Professor Stein's stare. "It's the college diet. I didn't make it up."

"No, you just added to your body and mind's deterioration by consuming fatty foods so late at night." A twinkle came to Professor Stein's eye. "Between you and me, my go to late night nibble was fried chicken."

"Oh, ho, ho." Cisco pushed his hair back behind his ears. "Professor, I never would have guessed. Fried chicken, huh?"

"Little did I know Clarissa, as astute as ever, would purposefully buy more chicken than the two of us could consume on any night." He smiled softly. "She knew about my habit and wanted to accommodate without letting on that she knew. I didn't realize until she decided to join me one night."

"That's cute." He smiled. "And totes relationship goals."

Professor Stein's eyebrows twitched, briefly looking confused. Or amused. It was the same look on his face when Cisco had to explain to him what tweeting and hashtags were. "She'd always been in tune to my needs," he commented. "Whenever I needed space, or had a long day at work, stuck on a problem, or whenever I was holding anything back. She always knew how to say and do the right thing."

"Uh huh." Cisco nodded. His eyes narrowed slightly.

He knew this ploy whenever he heard it. Instead of coming out with whatever it was they had an issue with, which was a lot, so it gave him plenty of practice to recognize the signs. They would talk around the subject. Maybe throw in a personal anecdote or two for comfort and bonding. Not that he bonded that much with his family as the years went on. Still, comparing Professor Stein's acts to those of a parent came out of nowhere yet felt right at the same time. He was more of a father than his own had been in the little bit of time that Cisco had known the Professor.

"What is it you want to ask me about?" Cisco prompted. Professor Stein was silent for a moment, moving to retrieve the rounded data receptor off the floor. Spinning it in his hand, Professor Stein looked Cisco over before throwing it to him. Catching it in one hand, Cisco set it down on his rolling work station. "Go ahead and ask."

"Well, I think it would be pretty rude to ask you, straight up as the kids say, 'What's going on with you'?" Professor Stein replied with a short scoff.

"But, that's what you're asking." Cisco put a hand to his hips. "Ok, I see that question and raise you 'What are you talking about?'"

"Well, there was your sudden intellectual acuity to turn on the news to discover that Miss Patty Spivot had been abducted," Professor Stein replied. "And, let's not forget this." He indicated Jay's helmet. "There's something about this helmet."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, it led us to looking down here, determining that this breach isn't stable." Professor Stein spun the helmet in his hands. "And you said that Jay told you how we could go about doing so, when, in fact, he has not." Cisco opened his mouth. No sound came out. "I know it's not cool to hang out with someone my age, but I've spent a great deal amount of time with you lately. I've noticed on a fair few occasions, that you get…odd, for a lack of a better phrase, over this." He held the helmet out towards Cisco. Cisco looked at it, and then back up at Professor Stein. "What is going on?"

Cisco let out a long sigh and moved to sit on the stool behind him. "I don't want to know what's going on," he replied. "Because I'm afraid of what it means to be…" He shook his head. "Nevermind."

"What it means to be…?" Professor Stein prompted. Cisco stayed silent. "Different? Mr. Ramon, let me assure you, being an intellectual already makes you stand out." Cisco lifted an eyebrow. "The name 'Smarty Marty' isn't as endearing as one would think. But, that is not what you are referring to, I'm sure."

"It's not," Cisco admitted. He shifted his weight from foot to foot. "I haven't told anyone else, because I haven't exactly figured this all out. I mean, in some ways I have, watching the Flash—and Visionary, I guess—but it's different now."

"That's why we share ideas," Professor Stein reminded him. "To get different opinions and ideas on how to tackle a subject."

"I'm not something you can test," Cisco protested. Professor Stein's eyebrows rose. He stayed silent. "I mean…I'm not…I mean I have been trying to test it. But nothing's been working. I don't know what causes it, or what when it'll come around again. I always think they're gone and then they just come back."

Professor Stein cleared his throat and pushed his glasses up his nose with his index finger. "Just to be clear," he said, "we are discussing the topic of your, um, visions. Yes? Is—is that what you're calling them?"

"I don't call them anything." Cisco pressed his lips together. "Because I don't know what they are. It's not a vision if I don't really experience it. Right?"

"Well…"

"I mean, I had one—" Cisco threw his hands in the air. He waved them around, thinking fruitlessly for another word. "Vision. One vision where I had a hand shoved through my heart. Surprise. That never actually happened. Even though it did. Somehow." He started pacing. "It-it's like I freeze, and my brain is ripped from my skull and transported somewhere else. It's like I'm there, but I know I'm not." Cisco slid his hands over his hair, pulling it tight at his temples. "I can feel myself in these places. I hear, smell, and see everything." He stared down into his palms. "But, I can also feel that I'm here. And then when I get back my stomach is in knots, and I'm shaking, and my head hurts so bad…And then it's just gone. Like it never happened."

"Which is exactly how you looked after you had touched Mr. Garrick's helmet," Professor Stein said to Cisco.

"I don't want to be like this," Cisco said quietly. "I…I set my apartment on fire once just trying to figure out what it was that was going on with me." Professor Stein reacted in alarm. "Just a small fire. I mean, I had to move apartments, but still."

Professor Stein chuckled. "You had all of S.T.A.R. Labs at your disposal, and you still tried to figure this out on your own?"

Cisco let out a wry laugh. "We may use S.T.A.R. Labs as our top-secret-ultra-cool hidden base and all," he commented, "but it's not always the best place to go for privacy."

"However, it is the best place to go upon discovering that you are, indeed, a metahuman," Professor Stein said evenly.

Cisco sighed. There. It was all laid out now. The one word he was too scared to use in reference to himself. But, it was the only logical conclusion he could come to.

He was a metahuman. He had abilities. He had responsibilities now.

Responsibilities to keep the city safe. Not that he didn't already have that on his shoulders as one member of the Team Flash support team. Did that mean he needed to go out on the field? He could barely control his abilities. How would just getting visions of things he couldn't even reconjure seconds later help Barry in the middle of a fight?

This was nothing like defending himself from bullies.

Sitting in S.T.A.R. Labs giving Barry coordinates, and botched police codes, and reading off maps of the city was one thing. Being out there was entirely different. Barry had the hands-on tasks when it came to their work, but Cisco and Caitlin held down the fort. Caitlin used her understanding of the human body to take down an opponent, and Cisco supplied the tools necessary to do so.

He was the one who hacked into security cameras and police scanners. He was the one who had to listen to not only the desperate calls from Barry for help, but other officers on the scene. Officers, who were some of the bravest people in the city begging for their lives, or for backup for an event they were unequipped to handle – which explained all the calls from Captain Singh about wanting the next device to help officers, or future plans involving guest teaching Academy courses.

But he always had a computer screen in between himself and whatever was happening on the streets. It was a wall that allowed him to switch everything off at the end of a long night, to be resumed the next time a distress call came in. Compartmentalization, as he had heard being used around the CCPR precinct a lot. If he didn't have his mind on the job, allowing himself to get into the zone, he and Caitlin wouldn't work well together. And as a result, they wouldn't work well with the Flash.

But, he couldn't lie. Sometimes, it was really hard to just sit and listen to it all without feeling some sort of way about it. Guilt. Fear. Apprehension. Or an amalgam of all three, he wasn't sure. He couldn't focus on it or he wouldn't be doing his job right. His job behind the computers. That's where it was safe. That's where he belonged. That's where he could be of most help to the Flash.

"You would agree, yes?"

Cisco opened and closed his mouth. He cleared his throat. "Of course," he replied weakly. "But, it's different now. It's—it's me."

"I understand how scared you are, Cisco," Professor Stein replied. "Ronald and I myself…" He sighed through his nose. Setting the helmet in his hands down onto his own rolling cart, he seemed to talk to himself more than Cisco. "It was so hard to talk some sense into him. To let him know that it would be okay, and of the utmost importance to seek help." A small smile appeared on his face. "But not Ronald. No, no, he didn't want anyone, let alone his dear Caitlin, to know that he wasn't the same anymore. I understood of course, I didn't want Clarissa to try and understand that her husband was alive and well, but in a younger man's body."

"I'm not going to comment on that," Cisco said with a laugh through his nose.

"Yes, well—" Professor Stein quickly sobered from a short laugh. "It certainly was a terrifying situation, but Ronald and I worked together. We learned to control our abilities together. It took time, of course, but we trusted each other and learned from each other. Just like what you've built here with Barry and Caitlin." He looked Cisco in the eye. "None of that will change."

"I don't know," Cisco said, using his hand to indicate the breach, "things have been changing pretty fast around here."

"Ah, yes, but isn't that what science is at the root of it all?" Professor Stein asked. "Through observation and experimentation, we can grow to understand how and why things of this world change. And from that, what we can theorize and deduce?"

Cisco smiled reluctantly. "Yes," he replied.

"And, if I'm not mistaken," Professor Stein gave him a knowing smile, "you have already thought up of a plethora of things you could design and build to help you determine the cause of your abilities, and how to manage them." He snapped is fingers. "Which, if I'm not mistaken, would have been the cause of said fire at your previous place of residence."

Cisco's smile widened. "Maybe."

"Ah ha. I thought so."

Cisco watched Professor Stein go back to his station, a sad smile on his face. From the get go, he had silently accepted Ronnie's death. Like the others, he had distanced himself from S.T.A.R. Labs initially upon the news. But, he had kept his promise and was only a phone call away. In the days Barry would blitz in and out of S.T.A.R. Labs while Cisco would work on whatever assignment Captain Singh had for him, Professor Stein would listen to whatever little problem he had. Every little problem. Just like Ronnie had when Cisco was still new to S.T.A.R. Labs.

He and Professor Stein were more alike than they thought, Cisco thought to himself. It's no wonder they were both chosen to be Firestorm. Cisco froze. Firestorm. Two people with an otherwise unstable power, bonded with the—"Quantum splicer," Cisco whispered.

"Sorry?"

"The quantum splicer," Cisco said louder. "It's what kept you and Ronnie from going nuclear. It gave you the energy you needed to counteract the energy being expelled from your body."

"Of course, nuclear reactions are due to radiation being expelled from decaying atoms," Professor Stein said, eyes lighting up. "The breach is essentially is collapsing on itself. If we find a way to give it the correct energy, or matter, to solidify itself."

"We can make it stable," Cisco agreed with a nod.

"Eureka!" Professor Stein held out his hand for a shake at the same time Cisco lifted his into the air for a high five. "Oh, um." With a smile, Professor Stein curled his fingers into a fist, and Cisco bumped it with his own. "Shall we get started?"

"Yes." Cisco reached for the phone in his pocket. He checked the time. "Ahh, but I need to head upstairs. Averey will be here any minute so we can start figuring out how she can walk through shadows or whatever. By all means, start without me. Whatever you come up with, I'll be happy to build."

After a quick elevator ride up to the main floor of S.T.A.R. Labs, Cisco found Averey standing in the middle of the Cortex, looking over the Flash suit. A gym bag hung off her shoulder, hitting the side of her leg as she shifted her weight from foot to foot. She turned, lifting her hand in a small wave when she heard him approach.

"Hey," Cisco greeted, stepping into the Cortex, "so let's get started. Caitlin is back here tomorrow, so she can run all the diagnostics on you and everything." He motioned for Averey to follow him. "You can explain to me again how this all happened." Noticing that Averey wasn't following him, he stopped walking. "What?"

"Hi, Cisco, nice to see you, too," Averey replied. Cisco stared at her. "Is this all we're going to talk to each other about now? S.T.A.R. Labs work? Mate, I didn't always understand whatever science thing you'd talk about, but that was more stimulating conversation."

Cisco's nostrils flared when he released a deep sigh. "You never wanted to discuss how you were doing, so…" He shrugged.

"Yeah, well, that was stupid." Cisco's eyebrows twitched. "I don't want that to be the only thing we talk about, either." Averey bit down on her bottom lip. "We don't have much to talk about at all, do we?"

"Guess not," Cisco replied. "But that was never a problem. TV, movies, music, whatever 'science thing you didn't understand'." He almost smiled. She almost did, too. He cut out the teasing tone creeping into his voice. "We could always talk. I told you a lot of things I have never told anyone else. A lot of the time we spent together was just talking."

"Just because you spend a lot of time with someone doesn't mean you really know them." Cisco made a humming sound. "I mean, we didn't know a lot of each other before we started kinda-dating. We just had S.T.A.R. Labs and metahumans in common."

"'Kinda-dating'?" Cisco repeated. He opened and closed is mouth. No, they hadn't been "kinda-dating" if anyone were to ask him. You didn't go meet the parents of someone you "kind of date." You didn't share tough memories, hopes, and fantasies with people you "kind of date." It was already hard enough for him to get close to a girl at all. Now, when he thought there was something special, it wasn't as important to her? No. He shook his head. "Isn't dating how you get to know each other?"

"Yeah, but…that wasn't really me." Averey slid her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. The strap to her gym bag slipped down her arm, caught on the device Cisco noticed was strapped to her wrist. She didn't bother to fix it. "You were dating someone who wasn't being themselves. And it wasn't nerves that was triggering it, although you did make me pretty nervous from time to time, yeah?" Cisco's eyes widened in surprise. He noticed her fleeting smile. "I was trying to feel normal despite all the bad stuff I was doing."

"So, you used me." Cisco slowly nodded. "All of us."

Averey made a face. "Normally I would deny it," she said, "but it's true. Reckon it doesn't matter what my intentions were, because I still ended up hurting you." She looked him in the eye. "I apologize, Cisco." she said. "Out of everyone, it was you I hate knowing I have hurt with my actions the most. You've been nothing but a great friend. Ever since I got here."

"Yeah, I have been," Cisco declared. "And it sucked to be tossed aside. Again." Averey pressed her lips together. "I mean, I guess I should be happy you're not into my brother or anything, I guess."

"No offense, mate," Averey commented, "but I'll give it a miss. Dante's a little too much of a cigar-by-the-fireplace-in-a-bathrobe type, if you know what I mean." Her nose wrinkled when she made a face for the second time. "You don't have to worry about that."

"I know what you mean," Cisco said with a grin. "Did you see how he was dressed at his birthday party?" He hit himself on the forehead with the palm of his head. "What am I saying? Of course you do. I'll apologize to you for that. No one should remember something like that."

Averey slowly shook her head back and forth, smiling. He matched her smile with one of his own. "You're making this too easy for me," Averey commented.

"Don't make me regret it," Cisco replied. He bobbed his head back and forth, twisting his mouth to the side. "Also, I don't really have a choice since that bike race or whatever. Since Barry is my boss, I have to be civil."

"How noble of you," Averey said flatly. "It's really inspiring. Truly." She gave him a teasing smile.

Cisco let out a sarcastic laugh. "So, you're back on the tether then?" he asked, pointing at her wrist. He rolled his eyes, holding back a smile when Averey flexed her wrist, twisting it this way and that as if showing off a new watch.

"And it goes with everything," she declared with over the top enthusiasm. "Just have to be within 50 feet of the home base by ten every night. I told Tracey I preferred morning shifts at Jitters, anyway." She nodded in place of the silence falling over the two of them.

"Um, so, you got your job back? You have no idea how hard it's been for us without Jitters." Averey pretended to pout, and he laughed. "I can't start my day without Jitters."

"Got my job back on two conditions," Averey said. "I'm on a probationary period until the new year and…" Her eyes narrowed slightly. Suddenly, she looked uncomfortable. "You weren't, um, planning on going to Jitters' grand opening celebration, were you?"

"Oh, Cait and I are making it a point to drop by," Cisco replied, emphatically. "Why?"

"Uhhh, no reason." Averey waved her hand in the air. "Just asking. Sounds like it'll be a good event. And for once, it's a good thing that the news will be around."

Cisco groaned. "Yeah, I'm sorry you guys have to deal with that," he said. "Still have to deal with that, rather."

"Yeah." Averey crossed one leg over the other. Her nose wrinkled. "And they pronounce my name wrong all the time."

"How?"

"With an 'a' like 'apple'," Averey replied. "Av-er-ett. Not like Ayv-ritt. You'd think if they took the time to do enough research to know I exist, they'd learn how to pronounce my name correctly."

"Hi," Cisco said, putting his hand in the air, "I'd like to introduce myself: Franco Ramen." Averey's jaw dropped and she laughed. How long had it been since he heard that? "After the accident people would do anything to get a picture. So, I get it. And I really am sorry."

"I'm sorry, too." Averey jerked her thumb over her shoulder. "Guess I should get changed, yeah?"

"Before you go, can I ask you something?" Cisco asked. Averey nodded. "Why did you push me away? Maybe you're embarrassed about everything, sure. You told me you were frustrated you couldn't go anywhere, I got that. But, I didn't think that was the full story."

"I was angry," Averey replied. Cisco nodded, urging her to continue. "About a lot of things. I was angry about what I had done since coming overseas, how I had acted the previous year, and getting myself onto house arrest." She shook her hair out of her face, taking in a breath of air. "And, I was angry that everything just kept going. Eddie and Ronnie just didn't exist anymore. In the little bit of time I could go outside, I hated seeing people act so normal. I know I whinged a lot, but it sucked. The singularity had destroyed businesses downtown, people got hurt, and a few people died, and it was like a day later and no one cared. How could they all be so happy when people I cared about was gone?"

"Why did the rest of us get to leave and do whatever we wanted when Ronnie and Eddie couldn't," Cisco said. Averey nodded. "I get it."

Averey's expression softened. "I didn't mean to take it out on you."

"No, I know. I tried not to take it so personally, but Barry wasn't needing my help anymore; Caitlin was moving to work at Mercury Labs; and Professor Stein wanted to spend more time with Clarissa." Cisco scratched at the back of his head. "I already had a family that wasn't so close. I hated knowing it was happening again." He exhaled sharply. "It just really sucked. And came out of the blue. And hurt my feelings."

"I'm sorry."

"Well, now we're back, so…"

"Friends?" Averey asked, hopefully.

Chest swelling with a deep sigh, Cisco bobbed is head back and forth. It wasn't where he thought things would have ended up months ago. Heck, for a while the idea of him having a girlfriend was something that was never going to happen. He barely knew how to navigate a real relationship. But, he had been successful with friendships as of late. Maybe it was the best thing as they continued to mourn. No one else would understand how hard it was to go through a life he couldn't openly talk about.

"Yeah," he agreed, and Averey let out a sigh of relief, "friends." He clapped his hands together. rushing the topic along. If there was one thing he learned from his family, it was how to quickly move on from things. "For the greater good" of course. Whatever that was. "So, I was thinking of trying to re-create circumstances around your new abilities."

"Cisco, you can make a lot of things sound fun, but throwing myself at the ground isn't one of them," Averey said.

"No, yeah, I know," Cisco replied. "Baby steps." He gave a bright smile. "You'll be throwing yourself onto mats on the floor." Averey smirked. "First, though, just to give Caitlin something to work with, I figured we could start you off on the treadmill or something. Just to get the blood pumping." He motioned towards the room housing the Cosmic Treadmill. "It may have been modified for Barry, but still will act normally for you."

"Cool. I'll change and be right back."

"I'll be here." Cisco started walking backwards towards the medical bay. "Welcome back, by the way." Averey threw him a smile over her shoulder. Cisco gathered a clipboard, medical data sheets, and a pen from Caitlin's belongings before heading into the observation room overlooking the Cosmic Treadmill.

For the next ten minutes, Cisco watched the data pulled up on the screens in front of him, writing down as fast as he could on the papers. Averey started out at a jog and quickly fell into a faster pace. Faster than he expected. Speaking into the microphone, his voice was pumped into the training area, and he coaxed her to stop.

"What's up?" Averey asked, hands to her knees, peering at him through the window.

"I just have a question." Cisco looked over his handwriting. There was no way he was seeing what he was seeing.

"What's that?"

"How hard did you work out while on house arrest?"

"Daniel had kept me in shape." Averey replied, chest slowly lifting and falling. As if she had just been on a leisurely stroll. Her red face, and the sweat beads of sweat starting to side down the side of her face said otherwise. "Why?"

"Because you were just running at 12 miles per hour," Cisco replied, "and making it look damn easy."

Somewhere on Earth-2

Soft crying pulled Eddie from his deep sleep. Followed by rhythmic knocking.

The back of his neck ached, his chin had been pressed to his chest for so long. Pressing his fingertips into the muscle, he slowly unfolded himself from the ball form he had found himself asleep in. "Ah," he groaned, slowly stretching his legs out in front of him. "Ow, ow, ow."

The knocking grew faster, louder.

"Yeah, yeah, I hear you," Eddie said with a yawn. Rolling his head on his neck, he grit his teeth at the tightness of his muscles. Glancing over at the masked man out of the corner of his eye, he watched as the withered hand slowly uncurled from a fist. He extended a finger into a point. "What?"

The man shook his finger, tapping his nail against the glass.

Eddie slowly turned his head, groaning as he did so. He only stopped until his eyes landed on the form of a young woman. Dirty. Dress ripped. Abrasions on her arms and legs. Her shoulders shook as she cried, head buried in her arms.

"Hey." Eddie's voice barely came out as a whisper. He swallowed repeatedly. His throat burned. Holding open his jaw, Eddie watched the young woman, waiting for there to be enough saliva for to collect in his mouth to ease his next swallow. He cleared his throat. "Hey."

The girl slowly lifted her head. Through her dust filled hair, she locked eyes with Eddie.

"Are you ok?"

She shook her head. "I want my dad," she said, voice barely above a whisper. "I don't understand what happened. I was just at school." She lifted her head even further. "I was just at school. I got into a huge fight with my dad."

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down," Eddie said soothingly. "Whatever it was you said, I'm sure he knows you didn't mean it." The girl looked doubtful. "What's your name?"

"Jesse."

"Are you ok, Jesse?"

"I think so." The woman slowly pushed herself up into a seated position. She brushed her hands down the hem of her dress. "Where are we?"

"I—I don't know," Eddie admitted. "But, everything is going to be ok. Ok?"

"How can you say that?" Jesse asked with a scoff. "We're stuck in these boxes in god knows where, by god knows who, for god knows what!" Jesse slapped her palm to the see-through wall. "I've got to get out of here. I want my dad." She started shouting. "Where's my dad? Please, let me out."

"Jesse," Eddie said loudly. Pulling his knees to his chest, he rocked forward onto the balls of his feet, and slowly stood. "What happened? How did you get here?"

"I don't know," Jesse said, sniffing. "One minute, I was at school. Then the wall exploded, and Zoom was there and—" She shuddered. "He just grabbed me." With eyed, tear filled eyes, she looked around their surroundings. Her eyes briefly landed on the man who had stopped knocking. "Hey, um…"

"Eddie."

"Eddie." Jesse slowly nodded. "How—How long have you been here?"

Eddie shuffled towards the wall of his own glass box. He attempted to shake out the pins and needles feeling in his legs with each step. He looked the girl over. She seemed to be calming down as each second passed. Still, he hadn't fully awakened, and he didn't know how she would handle the news.

"Honestly," he said, coming up to the wall. "I don't know." Jesse gasped. "But, I promise, we'll make it out of here. Ok?"

Jesse's eyes went back to the masked man. "Ok," she whispered.

Author's Note:

So so sorry for the wait with this chapter – so many ideas for this chapter, I had shifted around where I was going to have them appear. I also kept going back and forth on whether or not they'd appear in this chapter at all. Shadow Thief makes a return in the next chapter, and Team Flash really hits the ground running. Jay and Malcolm also return next and will be around more moving forward.

I loved writing not only Henry and Joe at the start of this chapter, talking through their respective parental problems, but also Barry in confronting Wells one last time.

Enjoyed a specific spot in the chapter? Something you didn't understand and need further explanation on? Overall thoughts? Please leave a review. I appreciate every piece of feedback to help my writing.

-Rhuben

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Review Replies:

Ethan: There's a reason why Averey hasn't touched her photography, and part of that was kiiinda touched upon in this chapter. It'll be brought up more in the story as it goes on. I can see what you're saying about Barry potentially being sent to live with Averey, but I see it as keeping him in an environment he's used to and comfortable with, and that would be with the West family – as is evident with Henry and Joe's friendship in the opening scene.