Chapter 12

Hotaru

Ruka and I sat on the couch, just you know talking and…kissing. I leaned in for another kiss when Mikan and Natsume walked in. Mikan looked at us and made a face, jokingly…I think. I'm not sure exactly seeing as it seems her and Natsume were…arguing? Again? What did he do? Ruka didn't seem too happy either. They were in the kitchen now; I could hear Mikan rummaging through the cabinets.

"Mikan are you mad?" I heard Natsume ask, his voice was almost begging.

"I never said that Natsume." Mikan mumbled.

"That isn't an answer, Mikan."

"Actually yes it is, you asked something and I answered." Mikan stressed.

"Well are you mad?" Natsume pressed.

"No, I am not, Natsume." Mikan sighed.

"Than why are you acting like this?" I could hear Natsume getting frustrated. I knew one of them was going to snap soon, whoever snaps first doesn't matter, Mikan is going to be sad or mad later, Natsume too I guess. I gripped onto Ruka's hand as I listened to them.

"Acting like what Natsume? Tell me how I'm feeling and acting! Please tell me!" Mikan finally snapped, slamming something down.

"Like a jealous girlfriend!" Natsume snapped backed. Ruka squeezed my hand back.

"One I'm not your girlfriend, Luna dear is, and two I'm not jealous!"

"She isn't my girlfriend, didn't you hear her say she meant ex?"

"Like I said, I do not care!" Mikan growled, before storming out of the kitchen. She glanced at us.

"Dinner is on the stove, I'm not eating." She grumbled, before going upstairs. Natsume came out of the kitchen a few seconds later, and looked at us.

"I didn't do anything this time! I swear!"

"Natsume, what is going on? You guys looked fine this afternoon." I asked. Natsume dropped down on the other couch.

"Ran into one of my ex. That's it, than she got all weird and quiet, and I just asked what's wrong with her."

"Okay, I'm going to go talk to her." I said, getting up, and giving Ruka a quick peck on the cheek before going up to my best friend. I found Mikan sitting on her bed, reading a book.

Mikan

"Hey." Hotaru said, climbing into bed next to me. I gave her a quick glance, before saying hi and lowered my eyes.

"So what happened today?" Hotaru asked, her voiced filled with worry.

"Well we had a lovely day, and we were about to kiss when this girl came up saying she's Natsume's girlfriend." I quickly said, hoping she didn't hear too much of it.

"Oh…" She heard all of it with ease of course.

"Yeah, and he didn't even deny it either! So I was like girlfriend? And she said, oh silly me! I mean ex, Natsume dumped me, we had a pretty steady thing going and out of nowhere he dumped me. She was sweet though."

"Than why are you mad?" she asked sounding confused.

"I'm not! Okay, I'm jealous!" I finally confessed.

"Do you like him?"

I bit my lip and looked away.

"Mikan?"

"Yes! Yes I like Natsume." I exclaimed looking at her, my face felt hot, obviously red.

"Why Hotaru? Why do I like Natsume?" I asked sounding desperate and defeated, even I heard it.

"Mikan." I peered around Hotaru to see who called me, but I knew who it was already. Natsume

Mikan

Hotaru excused herself, but not before looking at me.

"Mikan-" Natsume started when Hotaru left but I cut him off.

"Natsume, did you hear what I just said?" I asked, slowly watching his reaction.

"No, why?"

"Nothing, continue."

"I'm sorry, but why are you acting like this?"

"You can't be sorry if you don't know what's wrong!"

"Than tell me!"

I glared at him, hoping he knew I was getting frustrated.

"What if I don't want to talk about it? Did you ever think maybe somebody doesn't want to talk to you?" I snapped, hoping he would be a little hurt. Well he didn't physically flinch so that was a downer.

"But I need to know Mikan, so I can help."

"Why Natsume? Why? Why do you even care? We're not dating or anything, I'm just your best friend's little cousin!"

"Cause I like you Mikan! I like you!" Natsume yelled. When I didn't say anything he continued.

"Mikan, I like you." He said softer this time. While I was happy to hear he did, I needed to know why.

"Why Natsume, you don't even know me."

He looked straight into my eyes, and suddenly grabbed me to stand up, close to him, than he cupped my face.

I want Natsume to say the right thing, but I want him to be truthful. What he says next decides it all. I bit my lip waiting to see what he says. After awhile of us just looking into each other eyes I got impatient.

"Natsume! Tell me before I kick you where the sun does not shine!" I knew I sounded bratty but did I want to know! Natsume just chuckled.

"I like you because you are beautiful, Mikan-"

"Get out of my room!" I yelled, slapping his hands away.

"Wait what?" Natsume said, clearly confuse.

"I said, get out of my room!"

"Mikan, why?"

Instead of answering him I slapped him. Hard. When he looked at me, his cheek red and his beautiful crimson eyes were hard. He was glaring at me. I hated seeing that look on him, especially when it was my fault and I almost said sorry. Almost. But I held my ground and I glared right back.

"Fine, I just told you how I feel and I guess I got my answer." He snapped, and brushed past me, and slammed my door shut. I stood there glaring at the floor, feeling everything at once. Anger, sadness, yet joy. I was happy to find out he liked me, but I was mad cause he only liked me for my looks, and I was sad cause I thought there was something there. It was easy being around Natsume, I had a lot of fun when he was around. I saw the tear fall before I realize I was crying. I hurriedly whipped away my tear. I don't know why I was crying, I made the decision. I bit my lip again. Maybe I should tell him how I feel. No, I shouldn't! He needs to realize by himself that looks isn't something to like someone off. Nope, he has to figure that out himself.

I saw myself in the mirror, tear streak face, red puffy eyes, and a running nose. I gave a small laugh seeing myself, and I got up and fully looked at Mikan Sakura. Long toned legs, curves, a flat belly, perfect teeth, contacts. I sighed, I only looked like this because of Natsume. What eight year old had to worry about how she looked? I sighed deeply again. I did, because Natsume rejected me and called me ugly. I would never forget that day. It sucked. It was when my life changed. Everything I have now was because Natsume was a douche, even when he was only ten. I changed everything because of him. My diet, my looks, well at least my wonderful personality stayed the same. I gave another small laugh. After I changed, and grew up, an agent saw me and offered a gig, I took it just to try something new and after that, a small little shoot for prom dresses in a magazine, I was recognized, almost famous. I sighed, because of Natsume; I'm doing something I love. Everything always goes back to Natsume.

Natsume

No I'm not mad, I'm furious! Confused too. Why did she react the way she did? Is that how she feels? What does she even feel? Was that her answer? What did it even mean? I had so many questions and no answers and I was getting frustrated and tired. I sat on my bed, trying to figure out why Mikan is acting this way. I laid down suddenly feeling tired. She's special I have to let her know that. I tired earlier, but she cut me off and slapped my face. I sighed, even than I felt that little tingle every time she touched me. I loved it. I needed Mikan in my life. I just wanted her to be happy and I wanted to be the one that made her happy. As I was about to drift off to sleep, to quick knocks woke me up completely.

"Come in." I rubbed my eyes. I looked up and saw Ruka standing by the edge of my bed.

"Sup." I mumbled.

"Natsume just give up on her."

"No."

"We're leaving in two days, just give it up!"

"Why Ruka? I like Mikan and I know she feels the same! I know Mikan likes me and I will help her know it before we leave!"

"Than what Natsume? You win her heart than leave and break it? She been through enough because of you just let her enjoy the rest of her vacation and back off."

"When will you even see her anyways?" Ruka continued when I didn't say anything. Ruka suddenly sighed.

"I'm sorry Natsume, for giving you a hard time, but seriously, dude, you are a player and Mikan is my little cousin, basically a sister, I don't want you to hurt her. You are my best friend but dude you can be a cold hearted bastard to girls."

"Maybe Mikan is the one to change me."

Ruka's eyes turned softer.

"Just don't hurt her anymore and back off." Ruka mumbled, and turned to leave.

"Ruka, in the last 20 years did you ever see Mikan?"

Ruka hesitated and finally answered.

"Yes."

"And you never talked about her." I noted.

"I didn't want you to hurt her again."

The last part made me flinched. And suddenly it hit me. Last time I saw Mikan when we were young I was a douche. I made Mikan feel terrible. I slapped my forehead realizing why Mikan is like this. This is all my fault! Ruka raised an eyebrow at me.

"Ruka you're right."

Ruka looked at me shocked, and I just looked at him back. My decision is final.

A/N: Sorry for a late updateish since I have no set schedule, this was suppose to be uploaded before I left for a vaca but it didn't seem like it was going anywhere so I tried my best to make it longer to make it up. Tell me what you think also still looking for an title for my other story preview up. All ideas are welcome!