Janet had made light of her conversation with Cassie when telling Sam. In truth, Cassie was very upset by Sam's accident, and it took all of Janet's powers of persuasion to stop her getting on a 'plane and heading for Colorado Springs right away.
"There's no point anyway, Cass," Janet reminded her gently when she called her from Midway, "Sam's not going to be able to travel for a while, and there's no way they'd let you come out to Atlantis. And it's only a broken leg, hon, she'll be fine. I've just spoken to her on the webcam, and she's looking great. She sends her love to you. And we'll reschedule the vacation, we'll catch up with you somewhere on your travels."
Cassie grumbled, but eventually accepted the wisdom of Janet's words. "Just make sure you tell her I love her, huh?" she said.
Janet smiled to herself. "I will do, Cass, I promise. Anyway, how are you? And Annie? Is everything okay with you?"
Cassie couldn't keep the joy out of her voice. "We're both great, Mom. Annie's wonderful, her job's going real well. She's a great teacher, Mom, I can just tell. Hearing the way she talks about the kids in the evening, I know she really cares about them. And living with her is... well, it's just about perfect. I don't think I've ever been so happy. I miss you and Sam of course, but I'll see you soon anyway. Everything's just great."
Sam spent two nights and nearly three days in the infirmary, during which time Janet rarely left her side. Every time she woke up, Janet was there, either reading or busying herself on a laptop. "You should sleep, baby," she said to her after two days. "You're exhausted."
Janet looked up at her and smiled. "I'm sleeping plenty Sam," she lied. "I just don't want to leave you while you're in here. I know you hate it in the infirmary. Anyway," she added, "I want to be here if you have bad dreams, you know how you are with morphine."
Sam took her hand. "I know that first night was bad, but I was really out of it," she vaguely remembered the first night after her leg was set, when she kept waking up, panicked and confused, the only constant being Janet's warm tender presence. Janet had soothed her back to sleep each time she awoke, whispering comforting words, holding her. "I'm okay now, Jan. Will you please sleep in your room tonight?"
Janet looked a bit ashamed. "I don't think I can, baby," she admitted, looking down at her hands which were shaking slightly, "I want to be here. Just one more night. I'll get a pillow and a blanket. Please, Sam, don't make me go."
Sam looked at her, her expression serious. "I'm worried about you Jan," she said in a quiet voice. "I don't want you to make yourself sick."
"I won't Sam, I promise," Janet said. "And if it were the other way round, you'd want to do the same, don't tell me you wouldn't."
Sam smiled. "True," she admitted. "You'll sleep in a proper bed tomorrow, hon, promise me?"
Janet brightened. "I will," she said, "and you'll be with me! Jennifer said she's gonna spring you tomorrow, if everything looks okay. She said that she can let you out earlier than usual as you've got your own private physician!"
Sam smiled broadly. "Oh thank God," she breathed. "I promised myself I wouldn't start nagging to be let out, but I can tell you honey, I've had enough of this place. Though," she took Janet's hand, "the company has been real good. Thank you sweetie," she looked deep in Janet's eyes, "for coming out. It's only a broken leg, you didn't need to come. But I'm so happy you did."
"There's nowhere else I'd want to be, Sam," Janet's words were heartfelt.
"She's going to be okay, right?" Anna asked Cassie. "There's no permanent damage or anything, is there?"
"Mom says she'll be fine," Cassie was reading her latest email from Janet. "Sam's getting out of the infirmary tomorrow, and Mom'll look after her in their quarters. Mom's staying there for three weeks, apparently, so she couldn't be in better hands."
"And what about you Cassandra?" Anna wanted to know. "It must be difficult for you, being so far away."
"I'm okay, Annie," Cassie replied, "I hate it when she gets hurt; and she does get hurt quite a lot. This posting was supposed to be pretty safe, she's desk-bound most of the time. But that's just like Sam, Mom says she had climbed way up, trying to find a way out, trying to rescue the others. Sam's amazingly brave, and she always puts herself last. It's real difficult for Mom, I know," she was surprised to realize she was crying, "I know I'd hate it if you were always getting into danger."
Anna passed Cassie a tissue, and placed a gentle hand on her back. "It's okay, Cass," she said quietly, "at least she's going to be alright. And that's one thing you don't have to worry about. Short of tripping over an extra-large dictionary, or getting hit by a football in the playground, there's not a lot of danger in my job!"
Cassie looked up at her with liquid eyes. "Swear to me you'll never get hurt, or sick."
"Oh Cassie," Anna pulled her into a fierce embrace, "you know I can't say that, just as you can't either. We none of us know what's around the corner. But I do promise you that I'll never take any unnecessary risks, and I'll try not to do anything stupid. I wouldn't want to risk not getting back home to you, sweetheart. I'll never willingly do anything to risk our happiness, I love you too much."
Cassie nodded, looking a little less miserable. "We'd better get packing for Australia, huh?" she wanted to lighten the subject. "Only four days until we leave."
"Packing can wait another few hours, Cass, I've got a better idea," Anna winked, taking her hand and leading her toward the bedroom.
"God it's good to be out of that infirmary," Sam said gratefully in the middle of the next afternoon, as Janet helped to ease her into her bed in her quarters.
"You comfortable?" Janet asked solicitously. Sam nodded. "I'm gonna take a quick shower, and then I'll join you. An early night'll be good for both of us."
Sam smiled. "Are you okay, hon?" she asked softly; she could see the tension in the set of Janet's shoulders.
"I'm okay now, baby," Janet replied, "now I've got you with me. I'll be back momentarily Sam" and she hurried off into the bathroom. Her emotions threatened to overwhelm her, and she didn't want to weep in front of Sam, who had already been through enough.
Janet stayed in the shower for almost half an hour, long enough that Sam was starting to worry. She was just about to call out to check she was alright, when she heard the water being shut off. Five minutes later, Janet emerged in her pajamas, rubbing her hair with a towel. She threw a wide smile at Sam, but Sam was not fooled. Janet's red-rimmed eyes saddened her, but she guessed Janet didn't want to talk about it.
So Sam just wordlessly lifted the covers, and beckoned Janet to join her. As her smaller lover slid in beside her, she put her arms around her and pulled her to her chest, holding her tight. "It's okay, hon," her voice was quiet and soothing. "We're okay."
Janet snuffled in Sam's embrace, tears threatening to fall again. "I know," she said, her voice thick.
"You don't have to bottle it up, baby," Sam said to her softly, "sometimes it's better just to let go. You've had a bad few days. You don't have to be brave for me." At these words, Janet's guard finally slipped, and she started to weep again. Sam just held her tight, and let her cry it out. Finally, she calmed. "Feel any better, Jan?" Sam asked her tenderly.
"Yeah," Janet admitted. "Sorry about that," she continued, "I just can't help thinking about what might have been, what if you hadn't got out before everything collapsed?"
"Don't ever apologize for loving me," Sam said firmly. "I hate that I keep putting you through this. It's me that should be sorry. I love you Jan. More than I ever thought possible."
"And I adore you, Sam," Janet replied.
Within ten minutes, both women were sound asleep, and they remained so until the next morning.
"Just three more days in Tokyo," Anna smiled as she brought Cassie her coffee. "Can you believe it? Four months gone just like that."
"It's been a great four months," Cassie told her, reaching out for the mug. "D'you realize we've been living together for nearly six months now?"
Anna nodded. "And we haven't had a single argument either, d'you think that's normal?"
Cassie grinned. "What's normal?" she asked. "Who wants to be normal anyway. We'll disagree about something, sooner or later, but that won't matter. We don't have to have the same opinions on things. And just so long as you keep bringing me coffee in the mornings, I can't ever see anything going seriously wrong between us!" Cassie was in a very lighthearted mood. Both she and Anna had finished their work, so all they had to do was finish their packing and clean the apartment, and then they were going to head to Australia, together. Every time she looked at Anna she fell more in love, and she knew the feeling was mutual. Nothing was going to get in the way of that.
"Just what do you think you are doing?" Janet's tone was dangerous. She had just returned to their quarters, and was furious to see Sam sitting on the couch, her laptop on the table in front of her.
Sam put her hands in the air in a gesture of surrender. "It's okay, hon," she reassured her lover. "I'm just checking the last mission reports. I'm just coming to the end of them, and it's only taken me 20 minutes. I have to know what's going on baby, just in case somebody's made a rash decision on something."
"And have they?" Janet demanded.
"No," Sam admitted, shamefacedly. "But I needed to make sure."
Janet laughed, a sound that Sam was very relieved to hear. "You just can't help yourself, can you sweetie?" she asked.
Sam smiled back. "No. Sorry," she said. "I'm finished now," and she shut off the laptop and gestured to the seat next to her. "Come tell me what you've been up to with Jennifer."
Janet sat next to her, and kissed her gently on the lips. "Just routine stuff," she said, "she's very on top of things there. Sent me back to you. She wanted me to make sure you weren't working."
Sam giggled. "No more work today," she promised. "Well, I'll need to check again this evening. Half an hour tops, I swear."
"I'll hold you to that, Sam," Janet said. She peered at her anxiously. "You still tired, honey?"
"A bit," Sam admitted. "All I seem to do at the moment is sleep. I wish I had a bit more energy."
"It'll come, honey," Janet soothed, "your body's been through a huge trauma. Sleep's the best thing for you, you'll heal faster. Lunch'll be here soon, d'you think maybe you could sleep for a couple of hours after that? I'll let you have your laptop back this evening for half an hour if you do!" she winked.
"That's a deal," Sam smiled lovingly at her.
So after lunch, Janet helped Sam back to bed, where she fell to sleep almost immediately. Janet sat and watched her for half an hour, after which she returned to their small living room. She wanted to email Cassie and Anna to wish them luck on the next leg of their journey. In two days' time, they were due to head out to Perth in Australia, for the first part of their Antipodean trip. She was just half way through composing the email, when she heard a soft tap on the door. She didn't call out, as she didn't want to wake Sam, so she went to the door, and was pleasantly surprised to see Teyla there.
Janet liked the small alien, who reminded her in some ways of Cassie, probably due to the fact that she didn't come from Earth, and had now made her home away from her own planet. She was also kind and gentle, and had a strong understanding of other people.
"Hey," she said quietly, "Sam's asleep," she gestured to the bedroom. "I don't want to wake her."
Teyla pulled her gently into the corridor. "Are you free to go the control room?" her expression was serious. "General O'Neill's on the radio, he wants to talk to you or Sam."
"Okay," Janet said bemused, shutting the door quietly behind her.
"I'll stay here," Teyla offered. "In case Sam wakes up and wonders where you are."
Sam and Janet's relationship was now more widely known at Atlantis, they had told Teyla, Shepherd and Ronon.
Janet threw her a grateful glance, and set off for the control room.
O'Neill's face was somber on the screen in front of Janet. "Hey Janet," his tone was more serious than usual, and he had used her name. Janet's blood ran cold, this could only be bad news.
"Cassie?" she whispered, dread in her heart.
"Cassie's fine," O'Neill immediately reassured her.
Janet breathed a sigh of relief. "Something's wrong though, isn't it?" she asked him bluntly.
"Yes," he replied honestly, "I've got bad news for you. Sit down Janet, would you?"
Janet lowered herself into a nearby chair. "Please Jack, just tell me," she pleaded.
"It's General Hammond," O'Neill replied, his eyes pained. "We lost him last night. Massive heart attack. He was due for exploratory surgery next Tuesday. He just didn't make it that far. I'm so sorry, Janet."
Janet was terribly saddened to hear the news. For years, George Hammond had been the heart of the SGC, and even in the time since he had left, she realized that they all still saw him as the man to look up to. He had had such integrity and honesty, and despite his role as the head of the world's most secret facility, he had retained such humanity, and humor. Sam would be devastated at his loss. So would Cassie, she realized. 'Uncle George' had acted as unofficial grandfather to their daughter, and had been welcomed into his family. She had acted as an older sister to his granddaughters, and even now regularly sent them postcards.
"I'm gonna have to get hold of Cassie," she said, trying not to weep.
"Want me to do that Doc?" O'Neill asked.
Janet shook her head. "No," she said, "it's okay. I'll 'phone her this evening when they get the 'phone link set up again. I should tell her myself. Maybe you could call her tomorrow, though, once it's sunk in, just to check on her?"
"I'll do that," he promised. "How's Carter doing?"
"She's fine," Janet said, sadly realizing that she would have to give her this terrible news when she awoke. "She's sleeping right now, but she's doing well."
"Hammond's daughter Sadie wants to know if she'll do a eulogy at the memorial service next week," O'Neill said. "D'you think she'd be able to do that?"
"I'll ask her," Janet said. "But I'm sure she'll do it. You know Sam, if they want her there, she'll be there. She loved him," her voice hitched, "we all did. He was a good man."
O'Neill nodded, and Janet could see that he was struggling to hold it together. "He was," he said gruffly. "The best."
Janet held Sam as she wept, rocking her gently, making soothing noises. "He was such a good man," Sam eventually managed to say through her tears. "He's too young to leave us."
"I know, baby, I know," Janet didn't know what to say. "He was the best."
That evening, Cassie's cellphone rang, and Anna could see from the changing expression on her face that the news was bad. As Cassie listened, her face darkened, and a single, fat tear escaped and dripped onto the table in front of her. Anna approached, and put a gentle hand on her arm. Cassie was nodding, and listening. Eventually she said, "are you okay Mom? And Sam?" She reached out for Anna's hand, and held it tight as she listened to her mother. "I'm coming back, Mom. I'll leave tomorrow." Anna heard Janet's voice at the end of the 'phone. "Screw Australia," Cassie said sharply then, "I want to be there. I owe that to Kayla and Tessa. And Sadie. And I need to see you and Sam. We can go to Australia afterward. It'll still be there," Anna could tell she was trying to lighten the atmosphere, and dreaded to think what bad news Cassie had just had. "I love you Mom. Send my love to Sam too, huh? I will, Mom, I promise. And Mom? It'll be okay."
As Cassie recounted the tale to her lover, Anna's heart broke for her. She already knew what George Hammond had meant to Cassie, and she knew that his loss was a tough one for her. "We'll both go," she told her, "we'll go to the travel agents tomorrow, change our tickets. I want to be there for you Cass. And I'm not going to Australia without you. Anyway, I want to meet Janet and Sam, I've spoken to them enough times."
Cassie flung her arms gratefully round Anna. "Thanks, Annie," she sniffed. "I'm so glad you said that. It'll be okay with you by my side."
"I'll always be by your side, Cassandra," Anna told her. "Whenever you need me, I'll be there."