CHAPTER 12
Kendall PoV
"What do you mean you made it?" I asked looking at the tree. It was about one and a half feet tall and it really looked handmade but I´d never knew my mother was a handcraft kind of person.
"It´s just…" she frowned looking at the tree "So familiar…did James buy it?" she asked Logan.
"No, his grandmother gave it to him…it´s the one he always put in his office" explained Logan making quite an emphasis on always…he was not going to make me feel bad for him only because he brought my mother some cute tree and some…cake?
"Cake? Really?" I said looking at my mother´s lit eyes when she opened the box.
"Oh it looks delicious" squeaked Carlos and I had to admit that yeah it did.
"When was the last time I had cake Kendall?" asked my mother making me think hard because it had been a while, not even in out birthdays we had bought cake because all the sugar and mass of it was bad for her health.
"The birthday before I finished high school" she smiled at this.
"Well then, I can´t eat it now because it´s kind of late but I will sure eat it tomorrow" she looked at Carlos "Want to take a slice?"
"Yes please" he got up "Let me see if the nurses have a knife and a plate or something" said this he darted out of the room.
"Okay then" sighed my mother "I´m sorry but baby, I´m really tired" she grasped my hand "I think it´s time for me to sleep"
"I know mom" I kissed her hand "It was nice to spend Christmas together for a change"
"Yes" she smiled and for the first time in the evening I saw how tired she really was, how pale she had become and how fragile she looked "It was worth it" at this Carlos came back and cut a piece of the cake. Then we all said our goodbyes and walked out of the room.
"How much does she have?" asked Logan in a stern voice.
"Less than two months" I shoved my hands on my pockets "This was our last Christmas together…thanks for joining us, it made the night a lot better" we arrived at the parking lot and I looked at the cars "Are you two leaving together or…?" I saw how they couldn't even look at each other, there was a whole new level of awkwardness around them, I was surprised that I hadn´t seen it before.
"I´ll go with you" spoke Carlos walking fast to the Cadillac making me raise my eyebrow.
"Okay can I ask what was that all about?" I looked at Logan who was biting his lip looking at the latino with a yearning gleam inside his eyes.
"It´s nothing" he said and moved to his car leaving me to roll my eyes and walk to the other car.
"Okay what´s up with you two?" I asked the minute Carlos and I were inside the car.
"N-nothing…we´ve never get along" he stuttered this with his cheeks bright red.
"Don't give me shit Carlos, there´s something else…besides you arrived together, why not leave together?"
"Because one awkward horrible trip is enough for a day" he mumbled "What happened with you and James?"
"I tell you my story if you tell me yours" I smiled seeing him huff.
"That´s not fair" he whined.
"Why not?" he opened and closed his mouth trying to find a good enough argument before pouting resigned.
"But you go first"
"Okay then" I started the engine seeing that Logan was no longer there "Ask away"
"How was the wedding?"
"Good…I don't remember much because I was fucking drunk" I chuckled "And he had to take care of me for a change…then I´m pretty sure something happened because we didn't have sex but I woke up naked…maybe some HJ´s" I took a side glance at Carlos who was red as a tomato "Come on Carlos, you can´t be that innocent"
"…shut up" he mumbled clearly mad for my amusement "And how was New York?"
"New York" I sighed passing a hand through my hair feeling a small tug in my heart at the thought of him with somebody else…I hated that I cared so much to be hurt "We met an old friend of his…gave me a makeover"
"What else? Why are you so mad at him that you left him to spend Christmas alone?" I grimaced at his hating how guilt was starting to bubble inside my soul.
"And you what? You left him too" I tried to change the subject not wanting to show how much he affected me…I was falling in places I shouldn't be in a business transaction such as this.
"We left because he didn't want us there with him…Kendall he was seeing a video of you, he was…"
"I don't fucking want to hear about his pity party Carlos" I growled "He cheated on me" I was glad I was driving and I had to look ahead because I couldn't bear the thought of facing my friend like that.
"…I´m sorry"
"You don't have to be, you didn't do anything" we arrived to the house and I turned off the car prior closing my eyes "For a moment I even thought I would start to see the man you talked to me about, the one that is your friend…but he turned into this heartless bastard over night…I really want to know why he hates me so much" I whispered "And the worst thing is that I don't really hate him…that I still want more of him…how is this even possible?"
"Love is forgiveness"
"There is no love between us"
"Are you sure?" I bit my lip…no, I was not sure of that "I saw Logan jerk off" my eyes shot open at his statement and I turned to see him turn a bright shade of red, I was really surprised he hadn´t turned neon.
"WHAT?"
"I-I was fixing the bathroom when h-he screamed m-my name" he looked down starting to play with his fingers "I ran to his room only to find him…" he swallowed "S-sleep, n-naked and…y-you k-know" he made a gesture with his hand.
"Masturbating" I smiled teasing him only to see him widen his eyes before covering his face with his hands.
"I´m such a pervert! I knew it was wrong but I stayed anyway!" he shouted making me laugh because that was something that didn't normally happen to people "A-and I-I…" he trailed off enough for me to understand what had happened to him.
"Oh my God! Carlos!" I turned to him "And he saw you, didn't he?" Carlos nodded "Wow…and when was this?"
"Y-yesterday morning" he mumbled.
"Wow, that explains the awkwardness…and have you talked about it or…?"
"Are you crazy?" he uncovered his face to look at me wide eyed "H-he must think I´m a pervert! He had barely started talking to me and now this happens!"
"Wait, wait…didn't you say he said your name?" I smiled seeing a small grin appear on his face.
"More than once"
James PoV
"Merry Christmas" I said at the glass of scotch I was holding before swallowing it in one gulp looking at the Christmas tree in front of me. The whole house was in darkness except from the lights of the tree and I was happy like that. I had even seen Logan walk from the entrance to his room but I made no attempt to announce my presence.
I sighed resting my head on the couch feeling the lightheadedness that came along the alcohol, but not even that had made me forget the look on my husband the minute he had awaken me that morning…pure disappointment, anger and –these were my hopes talking- hurt.
It was a good plan, to make him think things were right between us, gain his trust and then make something to cause him pain. To shove him away in favor of my friends, but that only lasted until I became blind in jealousy and strolled to him and kept him at my side, thinking that he was better in our room I had sent him there…not thinking that this was Kendall, that if he was mad at me he wouldn't do anything I said.
That I had learned when we were kids, now my mistake was to forget that fact.
Of course when I had arrived eager to get to him I had seen that it was empty…and of course I went back to the thing I knew better: whores "And what good did that do?" I asked the empty house knowing that things were really fucked up if I was beginning to ask myself what had happened to all the anger I had against him.
"I tell you, you have to talk to him" said his voice as I heard the front door opening.
"No Kendall, I´m not one to believe in fairy tales" answered Carlos´ voice "I´m tired, good night"
"Night"
I kept silent hearing doors opening and closing as I poured myself another glass knowing that no one would even ask what was I doing. For all they cared I could have another man in my room…Kendall probably thought that.
"Drunk and alone in Christmas…that´s a cliché" I froze hearing his voice from the side, I turned to look at him with my traitorous heart giving leaps of joy because he was there; even if his eyes were as icy as before "My mom liked the cake" he crossed his arms and rested his back on the wall "Why cake? You could´ve given her something else"
"Because the thing my mother wanted the most, apart from drugs, was a chocolate cake, and she died wanting one because I didn't have the money to buy her one that didn't make her health worse" he frowned at this stunned at my bluntness.
"How old were you?"
"Fourteen" I looked down "That´s how my father found out about me, social services contacted him"
"I´m sorry" I heard him say and somehow I knew he meant it.
"What are we going to do?" I stood up and walked to stand closer to him.
"I can´t do a thing, can I? If I do you´ll kick my mother away..."
"No I won´t" he narrowed his eyes looking at me "I know what I said back in New York but I won´t do it…fuck I even know why you think of me as a heartless prick" I passed a hand through my eyes "I promise you that even after this whole marriage is done I will still take care of her"
"Why?"
"Because it´s part of the deal…and I won´t break our deal any further" said this I began walking to my room "Move your stuff to the guest room next to mine, and Kendall" he looked up watching me through blank eyes "Merry Christmas" I turned my back to him and went to my room.
"…does it work?" I stopped at his words.
"Does what work?" I turned to look at him.
"That whole drunken pity act…does it work with other people?" he was wearing a grim smirk "I used to know a kid that acted a lot like you James" my breath got stuck in my throat hearing this "He enjoyed making others suffer because he was empty inside, he loved it…I pity that kid because in truth he had nothing, not one friend, not even his own father" he gave a dry chuckle "He was pathetic not noticing the real people that cared about him…sometimes I feel that you resemble that kid and because of that I can finally understand why you hate me" he moved away from the wall "Pathetic hate of a lonely kid, looking for something in the wrong places…calling others whores when he´s the one that jumps from one ass to another…calling names and insulting the wrong people…I hope that you have enough time to regret what you do James, because you do have people that care about you, you do have the friends that kid craved for…don't shove them away because you´re in pain, hold them tight because in this life nothing is forever and nothing is certain…we could all die tomorrow" a shadow appeared inside his eyes "Karma has always some funny ways to give us a lesson and I don't want you to end up like…like that kid" he sounded his throat "Merry Christmas" said this he practically ran to his room leaving me there, motionless and barely able to breathe.
He remembered that fat kid.
He remembered Jimmy.
He remembered me.
So, perhaps this is uneventful, perhaps it isn't but I really needed Kendall to give a hint of what he thought about his past, and what better way to do it than to give James a full rant..and we also see some other feelings around there xD
I know it´s short! But I wanted to update today and I felt that it was the right place to end it.
Tell me what you think! And Happy New year!