OK, next up...just read and enjoy. Thanks for reviewing, Amber and angel2u.
I contemplated following Fiona into the castle, but I decided to stay with the guys.
"Hey, Donkey." I said curiously. "Is it weird for you, being able to support people?"
Donkey shrugged – well, as much as he could without tipping us off. "Not really. It feels...natural. Like I said, that potion is awesome."
I thought for a moment, and then came up with another point of conversation. "What about making the potion last? I mean, Shrek and Fiona have each other, but what about the rest of us? No true love."
"Oh yeah." Donkey said, looking disappointed. "I want to stay this way for ever."
"It's more the 'true love' part for me." I said. "I'm not so bothered."
Puss didn't say anything. I guessed that with all this talk of true loves, he was thinking of Kitty and her death. But when I looked at him, his face was more thoughtful than anything else – not sad, as I had imagined. I thought I detected a hint of pink on his face when I turned, but I dismissed it as nothing.
It took another few minutes before Shrek came out, looking gloomy.
"What happened?" I asked. "Fiona came out before, looking for you."
"Nothing." muttered Shrek, still depressed. "Let's go."
We all ended up at the Poison Apple bar, a place where there were several fairytale villains. I shivered as I crossed the room with the guys. "Are they going to discriminate against me for being a princess?" I wondered. Surprisingly, no one even looked at me weird. At the bar, all the guys had some kind of strong alcohol – gin, vodka, that kind of thing. They actually did have a weak Baileys, so I had that.
Shrek was obviously depressed. He said that he'd seen Fiona and the true-to-life Prince Charming, and that he'd decided that he was better for her (Later I found out that the Fairy Godmother had simply told him that).
"I hate Mondays." Puss muttered, on one side of me.
"Today's a Wednesday." I said.
"Whatever."
A realization hit me. "Wait!" I cried. "Is it the sixteenth of July today?"
The Ugly Stepsister, who owned the bar looked up and said "Yes, it is."
"Guys, it's my eighteenth birthday tomorrow!" I cried, temporarily overcome by excitement. Then I frowned, hearing a familiar voice behind me. "Is she here?"
I turned to see a figure in a paper bag brown cloak, but I recognized the voice. "I think that's Dad. What's he doing here?" He disappeared into a room at the back. I looked at the guys. "Let's check it out."
We had to look through the window. Was I ever surprised to see that he was talking to the Fairy Godmother and who I assumed to be Prince Charming. That's when we discovered that because of the potion, Charming was able to get away with impersonating Shrek. And the Fairy Godmother wanted to make sure that Fiona fell in love with him. She gave Dad a potion which would make Fiona fall in love with the first person she kissed after taking it. She was planning to have Charming kiss my sister. She even threatened Dad with her wand when he refused!
"I do have two daughters." Dad protested weakly. "Since Nancy is single, I'm sure she'd more readily welcome a relationship." I bit my lip, looking at Charming. Would I ever welcome a relationship with a pretty boy like that? No, I liked the more sexy dangerous types, even if they seemed like they'd be the type to two-time. Like a certain Spanish cat-turned-human. (Look, you did notice that I was falling, right? Was it love...or just like...or even lust? And did he like me back at all?)
"Fiona's the one who will inherit the kingdom. And Charming will too. The oldest is always the one who inherits, isn't she?" Fairy Godmother said simply. "Now, are you going to do this, or not?"
"I am." Dad choked out. Whatever she was threatening to do with her magic wasn't good, I knew. Why was Dad so afraid of her?
But she withdrew her wand, saying she had to help Charming with his hair before the ball began. "He's hopeless, because he can never get to the back!"
"Oh, thank you, Mother." said Charming courteously. I gritted my teeth, realizing what had happened. Charming was meant to be with Fiona all along, but Shrek had gotten there first. And the Fairy Godmother had planned it all along. I could shut up while spying, but not everyone could.
"MOTHER?"
"Donkey, shut up!" I hissed, ducking out of sight. But it was too late. Everyone in the room had heard.
"Um..." said Shrek "Nary, a talking horse!" He failed at seeming surprised, though. Badly.
"The ogre!" Fairy Godmother cried. We had to all make a break for it, as she sent knights after us, saying that we were bandits, etc.
"The minute I can, I'm going to kill both of them." I muttered under my breath as Donkey galloped along. "Just goes to show, judging by appearances doesn't work. Fairies and handsome princes can be evil. Sword-wielding cats can be kind of hot."
But just as we got through the gates of Far Far Away, half the knights knocked Shrek down before he could fight them off, another bunch held Donkey down, and two of the strongest grabbed me. Puss was a better fighter than any of us (even Shrek), but the loss of claws again lost him a win, and not only did the knights manage to get to him, they found a bag of catnip powder he was carrying. "That's, uh, not mine."
I was so mad. Every time one of us tried to explain, we got pepper spray in our eyes. Once they'd gotten all of us in a van, they drove off to the dungeons, where I suspected we'd be for a long, long time, even though we'd done nothing wrong.
I'm glad I'm getting further and further. I've been having some ideas, so now I'm going to have an easier time. Please review, review, review!