Notes: Thank you so much for all of the kind support you have shown this story. It started as a drabble, but you're support inspired me to keep writing. Your generosity is overwhelming and I appreciate each one of you.

I apologize that this chapter took so long to get up. It has been a long first week back at work and I wasn't left with much time for writing. I hope you find it worth the wait.

The Arrow characters and universe do not belong to me.

Oliver watched as Felicity and Diggle spoke in hushed tones. She looked upset and the older man appeared like he was trying to reassure her. Oliver knew that they were discussing him. When he saw Felicity shake her head and Diggle sigh, he decided he'd had enough of people discussing him like he wasn't there. "Everything okay?" He crossed the Foundry to join them at Felicity's computers.

"It's all good, man." Dig squeezed Felicity's hand. "I'll be back as soon as Sara's pediatrician's appointment is done."

Felicity smiled at Oliver. "Big day, today."

Oliver nodded at her understatement. Tatsu was going to help him retrieve his memories through meditation. It seemed like only a few months since she guided him through her technique for the first time. "Do you want to tell me what you and Diggle were fighting about?"

"We weren't fighting." Oliver cocked and eyebrow at her and Felicity's shoulders sagged. "We were just disagreeing."

"About me." He wasn't going to let her off the hook. He interrogated people for a living. He surely could get some information out of the petite blonde without breaking a sweat. "Don't you think I should get a say in whatever you're disagreeing about?"

She reached for him, but then pulled back. "We're not trying to keep anything from you. Well, I guess we are, but not because we want to, well, I guess because we want to."

Oliver took pity on her as she rambled in distress. "Felicity. What are you disagreeing about?"

"I'm worried about today, about you. I think we should prepare you for what you're going to remember, but everyone else thinks it's better if you remember on your own."

"That bad?" Oliver teased. He knew that they were keeping stuff from him and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't apprehensive. Diggle told him about Sara's murder, so he knew whatever they weren't telling him had to be worse.

This time, she did take his hand. "There have been good things too. It's just that sometimes, the bad feels like it outweighs the good." She turned away, but not before he saw her eyes fill with tears.

"Hey," he said gently as he turned to her to face him, "whatever it is, I survived it before, I'll get through it again."

"I wish you didn't have to. I hope when you get your memories back, it won't be like reliving it all again." Felicity wiped her eyes. "There are good memories Oliver, I promise."

"Ready?" Tatsu appeared at the far end of the Foundry. She held a red candle and gestured for him to join her.

Felicity gathered her purse and tablet. "I'll be upstairs."

Oliver took her elbow. "Stay." He wasn't sure why, but he needed to know that Felicity would be close by. "Please, I'd like it if you stayed."

"Okay."

"You can stay, but it's important that you don't interrupt when he is in a meditative state." Tatsu said sitting on the floor.

Felicity squeezed his hand. "Good luck. I'll be right here if you need me."

Feeling more confident, he strode over to Tatsu. "Thank you for helping me."

"I promised Maseo that I'd help you. As soon as you're memories are back my family can be reunited and we can leave here."

Oliver grinned. "I'm glad that some things have stayed the same." Time had clearly not tempered Tatsu's dislike of him.

She gave him a pointed look. "Let's begin."

Oliver sat opposite Tatsu and she lit the candle that she then placed between them. "Focus on the flame. Take a deep breath," she held the count for five beats, "and release. Again." They repeated the slow inhalation and exhalation of breath, his focus entirely on the flame. He could feel himself relaxing as his mind filled with just the light from the flame. All thoughts left him as he focused on his breathing. Tatsu's voice quietly pierced the veil of his meditation. "Oliver. Think to the first time you awoke to see Maseo. What did he say to you?"

Oliver floated along in a current of his thoughts as he tried to locate Maseo. He remembered the firefight in front of the courthouse; interrogating Xi; the car chase; training with Maseo; a cool hand on his forehead and a cup of tea. He remembered awaking in Hong Kong and Maseo telling him that he'd been wounded by the Triad... No, that was a lie. He hadn't been injured by the Triad. Oliver pulled away from that memory and sought out an earlier one. He awoke in a cold room that was rocking side to side. He was on a boat, maybe in a shipping container. It was dark and he was in pain. He tried to move, but the pain was so intense he feared he would pass out. A small light turned on and moved towards him. He recoiled from the brightness of the light. A familiar voice spoke from the darkness. "Do not move."

"Maseo? Where am I?" The pain reminded him of where he'd been and his heart beat accelerated. "Ra's?"

"Oliver, you are safe and out of his reach."

If it wouldn't have caused him agonizing pain, he'd have sobbed in relief. "Thank you."

Maseo held a cup to his lips. "Drink." Oliver gratefully drank what was offered. It wasn't water, maybe a tea. It was faintly medicinal and a bit sweet for his liking, but it was cool and it felt like heaven going down his dry throat. "Oliver, you must forget."

"Forget what?" He drank more from the cup held by Maseo.

"You must forget your life after you left Hong Kong." Maseo's spoke soothingly.

Panic flooded through Oliver. "No, I need to go home. She's waiting for me." He tried to sit up, but Maseo's hand on his shoulder kept him on his back.

"Oliver Queen, you will forget everything after Hong Kong until I tell you to remember."

Remembering someone had asked him a question, Oliver spoke into the void, "He told me to forget."

A woman's voice replied, "Remember. It is time."

Ra's. Maseo had told him to forget Ra's. An image of a man with a beard appeared before him and slowly the world resolved around him. Oliver was on his knees in the snow, a sword through his chest. Ra's was praying over him and then he was falling, but Felicity was with him. Felicity.

I love you.

I believe in you.

I am happy to see you.

I thought the place could use a little sprucing.

You're my partner.

I'm used to being your girl.

You'll always be my girl.

I liked watching you do that.

It's perfect.

Boobs can make a frat boy do anything.

You're remarkable.

Is that judgment?

Pride.

Can I trust you?

It was red.

One.

Maybe, I was wrong.

He was surrounded by memories of Felicity. One running into the other and filling him with a sense of warmth and peace. He was happy. She made him happy. For so long he thought that he'd never have that feeling again and here were all these memories of her that proved him wrong. He could be happy. No, he was happy. But Felicity told him they weren't together. He didn't understand, if they were happy, why weren't they together? Her beautiful smile fell away and was replaced with tears.

My friend - our friend was shot with arrows and fell off of a rooftop.

Tell me you never loved me.

Don't, not for me.

You deserve better.

Promise me.

I want to be unsafe, with you.

My choice.

If you're not leaving, I'm not leaving.

And just the thought of losing someone that important to me again.

I'm so sorry, Oliver, if I have feelings, but maybe if you did too, we...

I'm sorry. I'm not going to wait with you.

He felt her slipping away from him. The memories barraging him were full of pain and fear. He'd caused her pain. He'd put her in danger and that had made her afraid, but she never gave into it, she never wavered in her belief. What was worse, her bravery and her loyalty made him feel stronger. As she gave her strength to him, he was slowly breaking her. He'd failed the woman he loved. He didn't want to remember these memories. The last image of Felicity covered in blood, surrounded by flames, filled him with fear. He couldn't lose her. He'd lost too many people he cared about. This thought of loss led to another and he was remembering Sara on a metal table with three arrows sticking from her chest. He wanted to stop. He didn't want to remember, but the tide of memories pulled at him and he was powerless over them. The next memory was one of Tommy laying amidst rubble with a rebar through his chest. Oliver begged his friend to open his eyes, but Tommy refused. He moved his hands to Tommy's still chest in an attempt to stop the bleeding, but there was so much blood. Oliver was no longer looking at Tommy, but his mom, Thea and Slade. It wasn't possible. Slade was dead. He'd killed him... No, he didn't. The Mirakuru had saved him and Sara hadn't drowned. Slade had come to Starling to exact his revenge for Shado's death. Slade had promised to take away everything away from Oliver. This memory was the reenactment of the night with Ivo, Shado and Sara, but this time he would not choose, not again. He refused to focus on the memory, tried to will it away and lose himself back in the tide. The memory refused to be ignored and a silent scream tore from his throat as he watched Slade drive his sword through his mom's chest.

It should've been me. It should've been me.

Oliver awoke to Felicity's clear blue eyes. His head was resting in her lap as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Hey," she said with a relieved smile.

"What happened?" Oliver sat up and took in the Foundry. They were alone and sitting on the floor.

"You were meditating with Tatsu and you remembered something that upset you." Oliver furrowed his brow in confusion. "Oliver, what do you remember?"

He stood up and offered her his hand. He encircled her fingers and pulled her to her feet. Felicity's face was drawn with concern. She was worrying her bottom lip between her teeth as she studied him. A strand of her hair had come loose from her ponytail and he brushed it behind her ear. He smiled and shrugged apologetically. "I guess it didn't work. The last thing I remember is staring into the flame."

Notes: Thank you for reading. Your feedback is always welcomed.

I apologize if I got any of the quoted show dialogue wrong. I was going off of memory and didn't want to delay posting by double checking by scanning through episodes. I also hope that Oliver's meditative state wasn't too confusing. I was trying to convey the chaos of him being bombarded by so many memories at once.

Up Next: Felicity and Diggle try to help Oliver.