Selene paused as she reached the door to Luna's room and heard the children arguing.
"It's my turn to be on top," Harry said.
"Yes, but I'm smaller than you are," Luna replied, "so I should be on top."
"It's a lot more comfortable with you on bottom," Shelia agreed. "While you aren't that much bigger than me, unless you're holding yourself up by your arms, I tend to get smooshed," she teased, recalling the game of twister from earlier.
"I was just catching my breath," Harry defended himself, knowing what she was referring to.
"I prefer being on bottom," Ginny offered, "even if I do get sweaty."
"You move around a lot more than me and Luna do," Shelia replied.
Selene retreated to recheck the monitoring wards and make sure they were still functioning properly.
"Alright, I guess me and Ginny can take the center while you two take the sides," Harry conceded as he looked at Luna's bed, which was so small that whoever got the outer edges had to lay half on top of the person next to them to keep from falling off. They'd long since figured out how to fit the four of them on it comfortably, but they still liked to argue about who went where.
"Tomorrow it's back to my place," Shelia said cheerfully, her bed was more than big enough to fit the four easily.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
"I'll keep a close eye on them," Lisa promised as she talked to Selene over the floo. "See you tomorrow."
"They getting tired of the kids already?" Sirius joked as he bounced his son B.J. on his knee, Zaphod already asleep on the couch.
"No, but something she overheard made her concerned that the children may be getting into things they can't handle at their age," Lisa replied. "When you and James gave Harry 'The Talk' did you include how to get around monitoring spells?"
"No idea," Sirius admitted, "but that does sound like something we'd do."
"You don't know?" Lisa asked. "How can you not know?"
"Easy," Sirius replied, "Harry turned the whole thing around on us and horrified us so much that we obliviated ourselves."
"Really?" Lisa asked, surprised.
"Really," Sirius confirmed. "He knew the day would come eventually, I'm guessing, so he was ready and ambushed us," Sirius grinned proudly.
"And did it ever occur to you that he could use that 'advice' on our daughter or she on him for that matter?" Lisa asked.
"Not until years from now," Sirius replied. "I mean, I was a ladies man, as you well know, but even I didn't manage anything parent worrying until near the end of my fourth year."
"He's a lot more charming than you were, I'm willing to bet," she replied, gently teasing him as she picked up Zaphod to take to bed, "and Shelia is a Veela."
"And a Black," Sirius said with a sigh as he followed her carrying the boy. "Maybe we should be concerned."
"Better safe than grandparents before they even reach Hogwarts," Lisa agreed.
"I'll take them to visit Grimmauld," Sirius decided. "I never figured out a way around the wards there, so if I did teach him something it would be useless, but they wouldn't know."
"I'll check with Lily and see if she has any ideas," Lisa said as she tucked the toddler into bed and moved aside to let Sirius do the same.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
"This is the house I grew up in," Sirius explained as they entered the creepy old house.
*POP*
A creepy old elf appeared. "What does bad master want?" it demanded.
"And that's Kreacher, a deranged elf," Sirius introduced him to the kids. "Kreacher, these are family. Treat them right."
"Kreacher would rather treat them to a right foot in the-" the deranged elf muttered.
"I mean it," Sirius ordered, interrupting the elf and enforcing his will with magic.
"Yes... Bad Master," the elf reluctantly conceded and popped away.
"I thought you hated this place," Shelia said, wondering why he'd brought them here as a surprise.
"I do," Sirius assured his daughter, "but I thought you kids might like to poke around while I was taking care of some Black business. Just be careful and don't go into the library, alright?"
"How about the attic?" Harry asked.
"That should be fine," Sirius said, knowing it was mostly used to store old furniture, so there would be nothing dangerous and plenty of privacy, perfect for seeing if they were getting around the standard wards.
A painting started yelling in the hall.
Sirius groaned. "I'll go take care of that, you kids have fun. Just go up the stairs till you reach the top and there'll be a cord to pull down the ladder." He cast a silencing spell on the screaming painting as they approached it.
"This place looks abandoned," Ginny said as they climbed the stairs.
"Da has mentioned this place before," Shelia offered, "usually while talking about arson."
"Mum's not busy, so why would he bring us to a place he wants to burn down?" Luna asked.
"That is strange," Ginny agreed.
"We could spy on him and find out," Harry suggested.
"How?" Shelia asked.
Harry considered how to answer that. Sirius was plugged into the wards, being the head of house, so he'd know where they were in general, if not the exact room, meaning invisibility and disillusionment was out. "No idea," he admitted.
They reached the top floor and looked around.
"There," Luna said, spotting the cord.
"That's a bit high," Shelia noted.
"Give me a boost," Luna suggested as she stood under the cord.
Harry made a stirrup of his hands and easily boosted the tiny blonde up to the cord.
"Now someone pull me down," Luna suggested as she swung from the cord, her weight not enough to open the hatch. Ginny and Shelia grabbed her legs and pulled her down, the hatch creaking open and a folding ladder sliding down, making Harry leap back to avoid getting hit.
"Ladies first," Harry offered politely.
The three girls looked up the ladder into the barely lit attic and noted all the cobwebs and dust.
"Age before beauty," Ginny offered.
"Bros before hoes," Luna added, causing everyone to turn and stare at her. "What?" she asked.
"Is that like a rake?" Shelia asked.
"Female version," Harry replied.
"If it keeps spiders out of my hair, I'll pretend to be one," Ginny decided and pinched Harry's butt making him jump.
"Hey," Harry complained, trying not to laugh as Ginny mock leered at him, trying to look lecherous. He yelped and jumped again as Shelia gave him a squeeze, quickly putting his butt to the wall.
"Is it my turn now?" Luna asked eagerly.
"We already went, so I suppose so," Ginny said as she and Shelia exchanged grins, just before the pair yelped and jumped in surprise as Luna got a handful of each.
Harry laughed and held open his arms. "My hero," he said in falsetto, as Luna came over to receive her hug.
"Being a hero looks like more fun," Shelia noted.
"First one up the ladder gets hugs?" Ginny offered.
"Should have offered that first," Harry said as he released Luna.
Luna climbed the ladder before he had a chance to. "It's dusty and dirty," Luna called back down, "and you all owe me hugs!"
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
Sirius tossed in some floo powder and called the Potters. He was surprised to find that Selene and Odd were also there waiting for his call. "You guys having a party without me?"
Lily rolled her eyes. "We're waiting to see what the results of your little test are."
"Nothing yet," Sirius replied, "I figure at least half an hour or so before they get bored poking through all the crap in the attic and try something else."
"Be simpler just to visit a unicorn herd," Odd said, shaking his head.
"Why didn't any of us think of that?" James asked after a few seconds of exchanging glances with the other parents.
"Because we were too busy being clever," Lily answered with a sigh.
"So, if they don't trip the chastity monitor we run them by the unicorns?" Sirius asked.
"It's the best way to be sure," Selene said.
"If we're paranoid about that now, how bad will we be when they hit their teens?" Lisa asked rhetorically.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
"I think this is a flying carpet," Shelia said as she and Ginny unrolled a massive carpet.
"Aren't they illegal?" Ginny asked.
"To use or import, but not to own," Shelia replied.
Harry and Luna pulled their heads out of a hole someone had made in the side of the chimney, both their faces flecked with soot.
"I never realized parents could be so nosy," Luna said. "Or sneaky," she added with a frown.
"Our parents are a bad influence on yours," Harry assured her, as he let the flap of dragonhide cover the hole once more.
"Still... they should be punished," Luna said firmly, "peer pressure is no excuse for rude behavior."
"I agree," Harry said. "You have to be firm with them. Spare the rod and spoil the parents."
"What are you two talking about?" Shelia asked.
"Pranking our parents for invading our privacy," Harry replied.
"It needs to be subtle," Luna said, "something they won't see coming."
"In the words of Padfoot and Prongs: Always inventory your resources before planning a prank," Harry quoted.
"Why don't we split off into pairs and both plan a prank?" Shelia suggested. "That way we have two in the works in case one falls through."
"I like that idea," Luna said cheerfully.
"Yeah," Harry agreed. "Now what do we have to work with?"
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
"This is a bad idea," Harry said as he set up the cauldron.
"You don't want to do it?" Shelia asked as she set the ingredients on the table. "It's your plan," she reminded him.
"I didn't say I didn't want to do it," Harry replied as Ginny tried to light a fire under the cauldron with a snap of her fingers and failed. "It's going to be lots of fun. I'm just saying we are going to get in a lot of trouble as well, and we'll probably sleep till noon tomorrow... or the next day."
"We'll never develop good judgement unless we make bad decisions," Luna pointed out, ignoring Ginny cursing under her breath as the fire failed to ignite.
"Plus our parents have been looking for an excuse to separate the lot of us for a bit anyway," Harry replied. "We might as well be good children and give them a good excuse."
"What?" Ginny and Shelia chorused.
"We get along really well," Luna explained, "so our parents are all worried we've found a way around the monitoring spells and are... abusing one another."
"Abusing?" Shelia asked.
"Sex," Luna explained. "It's all the adults ever think about," she said, shaking her head.
"Where does the abuse come in?" Shelia asked.
"Our mother thinks that since we outnumber Harry, we might be forcing him to do things he isn't ready for," Luna explained.
"Well, we do mature faster," Ginny pointed out.
"On average," Harry quickly interjected, "and that's mostly down to people encouraging girls to be more mature, while wanting us boys to tire out playing so we're easier to handle."
"The fathers, of course, are convinced he's pressuring us into stuff we aren't ready for, being fragile and innocent girls," Luna finished.
"How does that fit with us being more mature?" Ginny asked, giving up on lighting a fire for the moment.
"It doesn't," Luna replied with a shrug, "but then, adults aren't really into logic."
"What am I doing wrong here?!" Ginny demanded in frustration.
"Not enough wrist," everyone chorused including Kreacher, before he faded into the background once more.
Ginny snapped her fingers while whipping her wrist to the side, causing a fire to flare up underneath the cauldron.
"How much are we making?" Shelia asked.
"Enough for everyone to get at least two vials," Harry replied. "That should be more than enough for today's 'surprise' outing."
"There are half a dozen spells they could use to check," Shelia pointed out.
"True, but if we could get around the monitoring spells, they'll figure we could fake them too," Harry replied.
"They give us way too much credit," Ginny said.
"Here," Shelia said, slipping Ginny a vial of grey fluid. "Da had it in his room."
Harry prepared the ingredients with smooth practiced motions, Snape's memories giving him a level of skill that would make him the youngest potions master in history were he to take the exam. "I think they are doing things the way they are because they don't want to make a big deal out of it and know they are worrying for nothing, but need to check anyway."
"Adults worry about the strangest things," Luna said, shaking her head.
"Ours more than yours," Harry admitted, "but then they expect us to be just like they remember being as kids, and they remember all the times they disobeyed their parents more than the times they obeyed because that's when they had the best and worst times and learned things."
"No wonder adult views of kids are so warped," Shelia said with a snort. "They forgot the long bits between all the fires and explosions."
"To be fair, fires and explosions are the funniest parts," Ginny admitted.
Harry just grinned as he stirred the cauldron.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
"They are a handful today," Sirius said, catching his breath and wiping a handkerchief across his brow.
"What have you been feeding them?!" James demanded, as he leaned against a tree.
"Just normal food," Sirius swore. "Same as yesterday and they weren't like this then!"
"They're testing us," Odd decided, "trying to weed out the old and infirm." He rubbed his right knee nervously.
"While I wouldn't go that far, I believe you're right," Lily agreed, "they are deliberately trying to wear us down."
"I think they know why we've decided to go on a family trip today," Selene guessed, eyes narrowing as the children played in the stream, allowing the adults to rest for a minute.
"Maybe, but more likely they simply sense something is off," Odd disagreed, "and they smell our fear and guilt."
"I'd disagree, but the oldest are taking turns carrying the smaller ones so they don't tire out and slow them down is definitely planned," Lily said.
"While I agree that taking them to see the unicorns is a nice outing, I still say testing them this way is unnecessary," Selene said. "I'd say we have at least until the third year of Hogwarts until we have to worry."
"So, if we made this an annual event now, it would throw off suspicion and make them less likely to push the boundaries?" Lisa said thoughtfully.
The adults exchanged glances and saw the agreement in each other's eyes.
"Look, a butterfly!" Harry called out loudly while swinging Evie up on his back. "Let's chase it!"
The adults groaned as one of the two Ginny's picked up Dawn and Luna gave Connie a piggy back ride.
30 Minutes Later...
"I need water!" Sirius gasped out.
"Aguamenti!" James cast, soaking him from head to foot.
"Me next," Odd requested.
Lily cast cooling charms on everyone while Selene passed out bottles of chilled fruit juice.
"Here they come," Lisa said, spotting movement in the trees. "Quick, pass them out!"
Lily whistled and the children hurried over so she could pass out the apples to feed to the unicorns.
Harry accepted an apple, but dug into the bag for a couple of peaches he brought as well, before following the girls out to where the unicorns were approaching.
The adults hung back, knowing that unicorns only approached the pure.
Harry found himself entranced as the herd of unicorns glided into the glade. They were fae creatures, not wholly of this world, white coats gleaming with a touch of silver, even when standing in the shade. He hadn't been sure if he counted as pure, considering his last life, but he'd found himself in the thick of the herd anyway, as he knew a secret that almost no one else was aware of... Unicorns were complete sluts for peaches.
The parents let out a relieved sigh as they watched their children interact freely with the unicorns. It was only for a few minutes, but it was enough to let them know they had been worrying over nothing... at least this year.
Connie yawned loudly once the unicorns had departed and the heat of the day flooded the glade once more.
"Looks like someone needs a nap," Lily said brightly, not admitting it was herself.
The four eldest children exchanged glances, seeing that their plan was working as Lily gathered Evie, Dawn, and Connie with Lisa and Selene's help.
"I'm fine," Flora said resolutely when they tried to collect her as well.
Flora was obviously tired, sweaty, and near worn out, but she wasn't going to let them exclude her anymore. Where Harry and Ginny went, she would follow!
"If you're sure, honey," Lily said. Raising five daughters let you know when to cut your losses and give in.
The mothers apparated away with the youngest children, leaving the five eldest with the three fathers.
"How about we go get some ice cream?" Sirius suggested brightly, figuring a bribe could buy them some time to sit and rest.
"And spoil our dinner?" Ginny asked with an evil grin.
"Wouldn't think of it," the other Ginny added.
"Is that a butterfly?" Luna asked innocently, pointing across the way.
"Malfoy's innocent!" Odd exclaimed suddenly and vanished.
Everyone stared for a moment.
"Voice activated emergency portkey?" Harry asked Luna.
"Voice activated emergency portkey," Luna agreed.
Outnumbered five to two and on their last legs, James and Sirius looked at one another, trying to think of a safe way to escape, even if they had to sacrifice their fellow Marauder to do so!
"Emergency supplies!" Sirius exclaimed as he realized he had a solution at hand, reached into his belt, and pulled out a vial filled with a swirling blue green liquid.
James grinned and pulled out a matching vial. The two adults clinked vials together and then downed them, all signs of exhaustion fading away.
"Stamina potions," James said smugly.
"Checkmate!" Sirius crowed.
Harry, Luna, and the two Ginny's pulled out stamina potions of their own and grinned evily, before downing them. Harry pulled out an extra one to give Flora, glad he'd made sure to have spares on hand. Flora hugged Harry tightly before downing it.
The two Marauders whimpered, before recovering and putting up a brave front.
"I see you've thought this out," Sirius said calmly. "Well, I have only two words to say to you." He twitched his arms and a pair of small grey spheres dropped into his hands, while James' wand popped out of its holster.
"Wizard vanish!" Sirius yelled, throwing the two grey balls at his feet, causing a bright flash of light to blind everyone while a cloud of smoke rose up to cover him.
The cloud of smoke dispersed a moment later and Sirius smile faded as he found himself in the exact same spot. "Disapparation jinx?" he asked, spotting James' wand.
"Disapparation jinx," James agreed, giving Sirius a disappointed look. "I can't believe you'd be so irresponsible as to-"
*CRACK*
James apparated away in mid-sentence.
"Crap!" Sirius groaned before turning back to the grinning preteens. "Ok, I surrender, let's talk terms!"
Typing by: Abyssal Angel