Merle decided to follow me back to the watch tower after our conversation. He was quiet, which said a lot about what he was thinking about. Merle was never quiet. As soon as I sat down beside Alana, Daryl smiled slightly, telling me she slept soundly while I was gone. I nodded, pulling Blade into my lap, his dark, thick fur providing little warmth against the cool spring air.
"You cold?" Daryl asked softly, seeing my shiver against the dog's body.
"A little," I admitted in spite of myself.
"Here," Daryl said as he shrugged off his jacket. I was about to object, but he tossed it to me, giving me little choice. The warmth radiated off the fabric. I pulled it around myself, letting the warmth ease the chill from my bones.
"Thanks," I said softly, a yawn playing on my lips. My eyes felt heavy with sleep. Without meaning to, I snuggled into the jacket, letting the warmth lull me to sleep.
When morning came, I found myself regretting sleeping on the hard floor. My body was stiff and an unnatural chill had seeped into my bones, making my joints creak when I tried to move. Alana was half on my lap, half in Daryl's, her head resting against his chest. Blade was sprawled out at our feet, his tail thumping softly against my leg. Misha, on the other hand, was standing guard, her eyes watching for any sign of movement from where she stood beside Merle, who was snoring loudly in the chair, his body at an awkward angle. Daryl was staring down at me, his blue eyes dancing with amusement, a sly smile playing on his lips.
"What?" I spat, trying to work the sniffness out of my neck.
"You talk in your sleep," he said softly, the smile still remaining.
"I do?" I squeaked. I struggled to remember what I had been dreaming about.
"Uh-huh," he said, amused. I felt heat rising to my cheeks as I looked away. Blade looked at me with hungry, eager eyes. The way Misha shifted made me assume she was hungry too.
I looked down at the little girl who looked so peaceful in our laps before shaking her gently.
"Wake up, sweetie," I told her gently. "It's morning."
"Just a little longer," she mumbled, pulling the blanket over her head.
"Uh-uh, kiddo, rise and shine," I said tiredly, pulling the blanket off of her, gently rolling her into my lap so Daryl could get up.
"Why?" she asked tiredly, blinking against the bright sunlight.
"Time to eat," I said softly, overly aware of how thin the little girl was. "The dogs are hungry too."
"Mmm," she muttered, burying her face into my chest before slowly standing up, shivering against the cool morning air.
I stood up, stretching my aching bones. I ruffled her hair before trying to work the last of the stiffness out of my back, overly aware that my side ached something fierce.
"Be down in the common room in five minutes," I told Alana as I clipped the leashes to the dogs' collars, leading them towards the stairs. Daryl gave a slight nod, letting me know he would make sure she got there in time.
Once we made it outside, I let the dogs run loose while I observed various members of the group tending their morning chores, up early despite the happenings of the night before. Maggie and Carol were taking out walkers on the fence while Rick paced the grounds, a crazed look in his eyes. Glenn was hovering, not really doing much of anything. I could see Beth at the entrance, baby Judith in her arms. Carl stood nearby, watching his baby sister with a strained expression. I didn't need to be told to know what was going on.
"Merle's to leave today," Glenn told me with a stern look. "We can't keep him here."
"Like hell," I shot back. Misha came back to my side, a growl rising in her chest. "Whose decision was that?"
"It was a group decision," Glenn said hesitantly, shrinking back just slightly.
"Uh-huh, I'm sure it was," I spat.
"Why are you so hung up on him anyway? Is it 'cause you have a thing for Daryl?" Glenn shot back.
"What? No!" I spat, my patience running thin. "I couldn't care less if Merle's Daryl's brother!"
"Right, so you just pick all the assholes to defend, huh?" he growled, his face reddening with rage.
"You're a sick man, Glenn," I muttered. "My daughter and I will be moving on as well then."
"You can't leave!" Rick shouted, coming up to us, his hands balled into fists. My eyes shot to his hand before meeting his gaze.
"Threatening girls now are we, Officer Friendly?" Merle snarled, coming up behind me, Daryl close behind, Alana hiding behind him.
"Ain't a threat," Rick growled. "No one but you's leavin' today."
"Can't do that, Rick," Glenn said gently. "We all know if Merle leaves, Daryl's gonna follow him."
"Harleigh and the girl stay," Rick snarled. He raised his fist, only to meet a very angry, crossbow wielding man in his face.
"Back off Rick," Daryl said firmly. I shrank back, not entirely ready to be attacked by an ex-cop.
"Two hours and I want you out," Rick growled at Merle. He shrugged, not all too concerned about Rick's demand.
"Fine," he said, turning on his heel. Blade followed after him, making it very clear which group he trusted more. I said nothing as I nudged Alana towards the cellblock, where we quickly threw what little we had into our bags.
"Mommy, I thought it was safe here?" she asked me as she hugged her teddy bear close.
"So did I, Lana," I told her, my tone emotionless. "Pack up your clothes, c'mon now, we're leaving."
"But mom…" tears filled her eyes.
"We'll be safe, don't you worry," I assured her. I slipped my coat on, securing as much as I could carry to my bag.
"Harleigh, can I have a word?" Carol's soft, motherly tone called from outside our cell. I really didn't care to hear what the woman had to say, but I figured it was worth a few minutes of my time. I spared a glance at Alana, who was busy tucking her clothes into her bag, Misha standing beside her, always watching, always protective of the little girl. Blade could be heard out in the common room, no doubt up on the perch with the brothers. With a deep sigh, I stood up, my knife carefully hidden in my waistband, just in case the conversation went south. I followed Carol over to the wall, where she looked at me with troubled eyes.
"Listen, Harleigh, there's something I've wanted to get off my chest since you arrived," she said softly, almost as if she were afraid to piss me off. I couldn't help but smile to myself, it seemed almost ironic that this strong, relatively fearless woman was afraid of me. I wasn't a horrible person for thinking such thoughts, I was a realist. This woman showed no fear for crushing other people's emotions, yet here she stood, fumbling over her words while trying to talk to me.
"Make it fast, Carol, I've got things to pack." I said impatiently.
"It's about Daryl," her tone changing to one of bitterness. My heart dropped. What had I done wrong now?
I waited patiently for Carol to say whatever it was she had to say. I wasn't too eager to leave the prison, but somehow, the whole mess seemed so forced, so insane, that it almost made me regret following my dogs in the first place. Carol paced for a few moments, like a lion trapped in a cage. I felt helpless, like I was about to get scolded by an angry teacher. Misha chocked her head, watching us from across the room. She seemed to sense the tension between us.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she finally asked, her tone tripping with venom. "Going around planting seeds of doubt in everyone's heads, especially Daryl's!"
"Excuse me?" I asked, stunned. What on earth was this woman going on about? What doubts have I given anyone?
"You come here looking like a train wreck, spewing a sob story about how awful Woodbury was, how much you hated those people, how much they hurt you and that little girl, then you get reunited with the man 'o the hour and suddenly, you're playing wild card? You're siding with Merle and letting Daryl do the same! You haven't been here all of two weeks! Who are you to get a vote? To get an opinion? You're nothing but a bottom feeding whore who likes to suck the life outta this entire group!" she shouted loudly, causing me to flinch back. Her words stung. She was wrong. So truly and utterly wrong.
"What's your deal, Carol? Jealous Daryl has a heart and you're not the only person he saved? Jealous that my little girl took a shining to him? Jealous that I'm woman enough to own my past, own my scars and carry my damn weight, instead of needing someone to take care of me all the goddamned time?" I let anger pour into my words as I took a step towards her. "Wake up, Carol. Daryl's not your little puppy dog to boss around and demand attention from. He's a grown ass man. His brother? Merle? The man you swear to hate so much? He's more a man than most. He's not afraid to do what has to be done to stay alive!"
"You're such a hypocrite Harleigh! You come in here talkin' about peace and unity, yet here you are splitting this group up! Daryl's family! We need him here! I need him here!" she screamed. She blinked, realizing the words she just said.
"So that's what this is all about," I said, amused. "News flash, Carol, you're creepy. You're so overbearing, it's sickening. Fuck, I don't even hover over my child like you do with him. He's not a little broken boy that needs a mother to coddle him, Carol. He doesn't need you!"
"You're just pissed because I'm right," Carol scolded. "Open your eyes, Harleigh, you're an outsider here. No one gives a rats ass if you drop off the face of the planet. You and Merle? You're two of the same. Cold, heartless people who deserve nothing but the worst in life. Daryl will never care about you like he cares about me. He's not capable of caring that much."
Her words cut me like a knife. I would have clobbered her, had it not been for my strong sense of self-control. Instead, I glared at her until I could even out my breathing.
"You know what, Carol? Go to hell," I spat. I went to turn away, but she grabbed my arm, pulling me towards her.
"Been ta hell and back," she hissed in my ear. "At least I've got a guardian angel watching my back. Who's watching yours?"
I wheeled away from her, the need for air almost sending me into a panic. I looked at Beth, who was already in my cell talking to Alana in a soft tone.
"Can you watch her for a few minutes?" I asked her, my voice hitching as I made my way over to the pair. Beth nodded, a troubled look crossing her face.
"Don't pay her any mind," she said softly. She went back to entertaining Alana, giving me a chance to make a run for it.
I felt like I was back in Woodbury, only ten times worse. Disgusting men who needed a quick fix? I could handle that. Being threatened and raped in an ally? I could live with that. Having to turn my back on people I cared about? I could handle that too. Being point blank threatened and not having the will to put an end to it? That was the cowardly way out and it pissed me off beyond belief. Where I should have been packing my things, I instead found myself taking all my pent up anger out on the walkers, no regards to the danger looming overhead.
I heard a familiar pair of footfalls approaching, but didn't let it break my rhythm. I kept plunging my knife into the skulls of the undead, the crack, the crunch almost comforting. Misha walked at my side, her eyes glancing behind us at the approaching steps.
I was about to plunge the knife into another head when something caught my eye. I looked at this walker for a moment, trying to figure out why it looked familiar. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was Addison, one of the younger women from Woodbury – one of the few people I really got to know while we were there. I felt all the wind get knocked out of me as my knees gave way, everything finally catching up with me all at once. I struggled to try and recover from the shock, but it wasn't as easy as it once was. This prison, these people, they managed to break down the walls that I built around myself, just to tear me up like some sort of savage monster.
"Whoa, easy there Leigh," Daryl's soft voice broke through the haze. I blinked, fighting back tears as he wrapped his arms protectively around me. He pulled me away from the fence, not letting go until he had us behind the overturned bus. He knelt in front of me, his blue eyes full of concern.
"C'mon, can't have you fallin' apart on us now," he chided softly. "What's wrong?"
"What isn't wrong?" I asked him, my voice hitching in my throat.
"Merle overhead what Carol said to you," he said gently, though I could see anger sparking in his eyes. "She's wrong, ya know that, right? She's wrong Harleigh."
"Maybe," I shrugged. I wasn't really taking in what he was saying anymore.
"Harleigh, look at me," he demanded. His tone was firm, yet gentle enough. His hand reached up, cupping my chin in a rough, calloused hand. I met his gaze, seeing nothing but compassion and concern behind those beautiful blue hues. "She's wrong."
I was about to pull away when the next thing I knew, his lips were pressed firmly against mine, his hand now at the back of my head. I felt my heart skip a beat. I returned the kiss, guarding every move. When he broke away, I felt heat rush up my face. Daryl smirked at me, the sideways, half smile that could stop hearts. I looked at him with wide eyes, not entirely sure what to make of the whole situation.
"Harleigh, she's wrong," he repeated again.
I wanted to believe him. Deep in my heart, I knew he was right. Somehow, I couldn't bring myself to believe a word he said. It was his actions that left me believing him. The way his lips pressed so tightly against mine, the way his warmth radiated off his body, sending a shiver up my spine. His strong, protective hands gripping at the back of my head, keeping me in place. That's what made me believe him.
It was there, behind an overturned bus, in the middle of the zombie apocalypse, with the threat of the unknown looming overhead, that I finally admitted my feelings for the crossbow wielding redneck, if only to myself.
"C'mon kiddies, let's get this show on the road," Merle's snide tone rang out across the field, causing Daryl and I both to scramble to our feet. I saw him carrying a small bag, Alana following behind him. "Got all the stuff in the van, who's riding with who?" he asked, laughing at the looks on mine and Daryl's faces. We exchanged a look before following the older Dixon. Misha and Blade trotted over, eager to finally be out of the confines of the prison. With one final look at the prison and the people we were leaving behind, I buckled Alana into the back seat of the old van before nodding at the dogs to get in.
"I'll take the bike for the first leg, we'll switch off every couple hours," I suggested. "This way if things get hairy, I can lead the walkers away with the dogs." As soon as I said that, Misha jumped out of the van, eager to be a part of this journey.
"Fine with me," Merle nodded, surprising me with the lack of argument. "I don't mind this kid, she's pretty tough." He smiled at Alana.
"I trust you not to get her killed," I said, only half joking. "'sides, my dogs'll tear you a new asshole if you hurt her." Misha growled softly to back up my statement, causing Merle to chuckle.
"Don't get your panties in a jumble," he chuckled before nodding at Daryl. "Lead the way, baby brother."
Daryl got into the driver's side of the van, Merle sitting shotgun. I mounted the bike, vaguely remembering the last time I was on a motorcycle. I kicked it to life, content with the loud roar it made. I looked around, sparing one last glance over my shoulder. Carol was glaring at me, her arms crossed across her chest. I couldn't help but smile as we tore off through the gates. It was bittersweet. As much as I wanted to stay, I wanted to leave all the same. These people, the ones we were leaving behind, they weren't the people I thought they were. The two bother on the other hand, one which protected me when I needed protecting and the other, who cared from day one, were all the human company I needed outside of Alana. Fuck Rick, fuck his group. The six of us were better off on our own anyway.
You can't trust no one these days, I thought to myself as we drove down the dust covered road, waving around walkers and debris. Misha ran beside the bike just as she had the day we arrived at the prison. The difference this time was I wasn't riding on a rundown motorcycle that didn't have breaks, so I wouldn't almost die this time. This was where it was all meant to end. Or begin, depending on how you looked at it, I suppose.